full moon
by xSirenSongx
Summary: "He left me! Am I really just a pet?" That was the only thing Bella could think of as she watched her true love leap out his bedroom window. Will she ever be the same again? Will Edward return, when? How can he be so close yet unreachable? daybreak part2
1. Thoughts

**Full Summary: "He left me! Am I really just a _pet_?" was the only thing Bella could think of as she watched her true love leap out his bedroom window. Will she ever be the same again? Will Edward return, when? How can he be so close yet unreachable? Not even a pack of wolves or a coven of vampires can answer that question but they will sure try.**

I don't own anything Twilight. The idea of Bella being a mind reader is mine and a few events. Everything else belongs to Stephenie Meyers. No copyright infringement intended. Nearly all my chapters have mild language, mainly name calling.

**Chapter 1: Thoughts**

Why couldn't I have a happy, loving dream, full of Edward's wandering hands running over my body? Sure it started out great and cheerful but it swiftly became a nightmare.

I was in our meadow. The gorgeous little clearing with a waterfall Edward had taken me to last spring. The sun was shining down warmly on a very clear day, the sun rarely shone in Forks, Washington, hinting to me that this was indeed a dream. The person I was staring at from across the field solidified the fact that I was dreaming. I was looking at my Grandma Marie, the same grandma that had died six years ago.

She hadn't changed in the slightest. She still had the same sweet, loving withered face that I remembered with the same welcoming smile. Her hair was pulled into a tight, white bun on top of her head and her skin was creased and wrinkled on her hands and arms. The only thing different was the attire. Normally she wore a lavender floral print dress; this time she wore jeans and a comfortable flannel shirt. All-in-all, she was still my Grandma.

I smiled and waved to her at the same time she did to me. She was pleased to see me as well. We walked closer together simultaneously.

I opened my mouth to speak, to ask her one of the many questions I had for her. She opened her mouth at the same time and I closed mine to let her speak first. We both had paused and smiled at the awkward moment. Instead of speaking I decided I should just give her a hug, six years was an awful long time.

"Bella!"

That definitely wasn't Grandma that called my name. It was rich and silky and oh so alluring. We turned at the same time in the direction of the voice. It was a voice I didn't need to know who it belonged to; it was one I would respond to under any circumstances, awake, asleep, sick, or even dead probably. I would walk through fire, snow, rain, or hell for. If need be, I would give my life for, if he would let me.

My love, Edward.

Whether I was sound asleep or fully awake, I was always overjoyed to lay my eyes on him. Despite the fact that this was a dream I was still excited to see him. Panic flooded my veins as Edward started to walk in our direction, the suns rays dancing over his marble skin, casting rainbows everywhere.

Grandma didn't know about my boyfriend, no body knew that I had fallen in love with a 104 year old - vampire. How in the world was I going to explain it to her, I couldn't even explain it to my own parents, not that I would. There was no way for me to clarify the glitter, the pale skin, the inhuman beauty and the golden eyes. She would think I was insane. Maybe I was; I _had_ fallen for a fictional being after all.

_Hey grandma, how are you, this it my boyfriend. Don't mind the sparkling; it happens when he's in the sun. Don't worry about his eyes or his skin or the incredible beauty, it's just who he is…_

Right…that would go over _**so**_ well.

What the hell was he _doing_? Why for the love of god was he casually strolling toward us? A beautiful, angelic smile was on his face as he came closer to us as if I was the only one here. Wasn't the whole reason he was in Forks was so he could be outside during the _countless_ overcast days without exposing himself or his family for what they really were? So why in the world was he being careless now?

I so wished my mind wasn't closed off to him right now. Then he could hear the screaming in my head directed at him.

I glanced at my grandma, fearing that the sight of a glittering Adonis would give her a heart-attack but she just turned and looked at me with hopeful, chocolaty eyes.

I looked back at Edward, he was still smiling magnificently and my heart felt ready to explode from my chest. I raised my arms to wrap around his waist eagerly and I was completely speechless when he went to my grandmother instead. He placed a chaste kiss on her forehead and rested his arm on her shoulder.

I was taken aback by my grandma's expression. She looked like a shocked child who just got caught with her hand in the cookie jar, my cookie jar.

I felt my world crumble when Edward cupped my grandma's face and kissed her. I didn't know whether to be repulsed or hurt. Why was Edward making out with my grandma? And in front of me for no less? I suddenly felt like a piece of glass that someone had just smashed, the words that were spoken were that damaging.

"I love you Bella, always," Edward smiled down at the withered face.

"I love you too Edward, always." The words were spoken from my grandma but I sickly realized it wasn't my grandma at all, it was me.

I was ancient, withered, elderly and worn. Edward was handsome, charming, and eternally seventeen.

He pressed his icy, faultless lips to her cheek and I in turn felt it on my cheek.

I awoke suddenly and fell out of bed, again, my shoulders landing on the floor while my legs were still partially on the bed. I was alone at the moment and I hope Edward wasn't here to witness that. I sighed with relief as I looked around my small boring room as the dull gray morning light shined through my window.

_It was just a dream_. I continued to tell myself that as I reached up to shut off my alarm clock and ready myself for the day. _It was just a dream, a horrible, messed-up dream_.

I pushed the nightmare to the back of my mind and changed into a pair of jeans and a white peasant blouse then ran for the bathroom to take care of my human needs. With that done I ran down stairs and promptly inhaled a banana. Poor Edward, he wasn't here yet, he's missing out. Just as I threw the pealing away a knock echoed throughout the house.

I'm surprised I didn't trip in my haste to answer the door. I nearly fainted when I opened the door and I took in the Greek god of beauty. He smirked at me while I pulled on my shoes.

"You didn't just fall down on your way to get the door did you?" he smiled and winked at me playfully.

I stood up straight and glared at him. "No, I didn't fall. And what if I had, would you have broken down the door to save me?" I walked up closer to him and innocently and needlessly smoothed down his jacket.

He took a sharp intake of breath and almost hissed. "You don't need to have fallen for me to save you and it wouldn't take more than a split second to ruin this door."

I smiled at him and placed a chaste kiss on his cheek then headed for the Volvo. I was immediately diverted from my path when a pair of cold fingers enclosed around my wrist and I was pulled to Edward's chest. He hesitated moving for a moment, just breathing in the smell of my shampoo that he told me on more than one occasion that he liked. Finally, to my greatest pleasure, he closed the gap between us by locking his lips on mine.

'_You're a tease!'_

Only with you, and _we_ both know you love it. With that said he deepened the kiss. All too soon we were distracted by his phone singing 'Sister Psychic' by SmashMouth.

He quickly pulled out his phone and hit the speaker button. "Hmm?" he didn't relinquish my lips as he answered the call.

"KNOCK IT OFF OR YOU'LL BE LATE!" shouted Alice.

"Yes Alice," we groaned in unison.

"Good," the phone then went dead.

"Would you be terribly angry if I hurt your sister?" I looked up at him harmlessly.

"Not if you let me help," he pressed his lips to the tip of my nose then closed my house door behind us. "Well shall we get this last day of school over with?"

"Just think, after today we'll be seniors," I let Edward lead me to his car and help me in, I was becoming more used to his chivalrous ways.

"Again…" he muttered as he closed my door and soon climbed into his seat and started driving.

I stared out the windshield slightly annoyed. "Right, well this will be the first time for one of us," I then turned my head and gave him a raspberry. He chuckled at my response.

Shortly thereafter we pulled into the schools parking lot and into the usual spot. Alice was already there, having borrowed Emmett's jeep. Jasper, Emmett and Rosalie had already graduated and didn't need to be here for the last week of school, lucky them. It was absolutely hilarious watching Alice jump from the lifted jeep, most likely Rose wouldn't let her use the BMW; I don't think she lets anyone use it to be honest.

She was opening my door before Edward even killed the engine. "So what time should we expect you?"

I watched Alice bounce up and down as I exited the Volvo. "Excuse me, expect me where, for what?"

I could have sworn Alice's jaw hit the pavement. "For what?…Very funny."

Well, I almost had her. "I'm not sure Alice. I work till six then I was planning on watching a movie Mr. Berry suggested."

Alice glowered at me. "Actually, you don't. I called your work to see if you could get today off and they're closing early so they can take their daughter out for a graduation dinner. And you have all summer to watch the movie."

Edward walked up and wrapped his arms around my waist and rested his chin on my shoulder. I felt my knees go weak when I sensed his cool breath on my neck. "Don't worry Alice; I'll bring her over about seven. That will give her time to eat and you more time to decorate."

She squealed happily. "Sounds good, see you later than." She then pranced off toward her class, happy as a clam at high tide.

I hung my head and sighed heavily. "What did I do to cause being tortured." It was a rhetorical question that Edward felt the need to answer.

"So, being with me is torture now?" he proceeded to trail kisses up my neck and I moaned then said sayonara to my legs. "Alley-oop," Edward lifted me into his arms and headed for my first period class.

I buried my face in his jacket and tried to block out all the comments and thoughts. "You know, if you wouldn't make me swoon you wouldn't have to carry me."

"But where is the fun in that," he grinned wickedly and I couldn't resist the urge to punch his chest. It wasn't very hard, so I didn't have to worry about injuring myself but it was the fact that I wasn't happy with his answer.

'_Damn, I wish I was her right now.'_ Sorry Lauren, you can't be.

'_When are they going to break up? Aren't they bored with each other yet?' _Edward's hold on me tightened with Mike Newton's unkind thoughts.

We stopped at the doorway to my English class and Edward placed me gently on my feet. He totally surprised me when I was pushed up against the wall and he assaulted my lips.

"Alright Mr. Cullen, please let Ms. Swan get to my class." I groaned unhappily at hearing Mr. Berry's scolding.

Damn it, I should have stayed home today.

'_Look on the bright side, it's the last day of school for all summer and you're coming over to my house tonight.'_

Okay, that is a very bright side. Now let me go so we can get this day over with swiftly.

'_Okay fine,'_ Edward pulled back and smoothed out my hair that got messed while pressed to the wall.

"See you at lunch," I pecked him on the lips for a micro-second then escaped into my classroom.

Edward poked his head in the room briefly and glared at me. "TEASE!" he growled then left.

I sat through my more boring than normal classes, since it was the last day the teachers had nothing to do really. Each class was all about handing back final papers and informing the juniors what was expected of them next year. I moaned miserably at the mention of the huge senior project that was 75% of our English grade - the dreaded Senior Report. Mr. Berry suggested we think about what topic we wanted to research over the summer break. Vampire immediately entered my head but that was way too ironic, plus I don't think Edward would much appreciate it either.

Through the next few classes, we had films and free time, which gave me too much time to think.

Second period I thought about my new job. The day after I got my cast off I walked into town since it was sunny and nice out and I was bored. About half a mile from my house I spotted a hand written 'Help Wanted' sign sitting in the door window of the only veterinary clinic in town. They were looking for a secretary/assistant since theirs was moving on since graduating. I've done some secretarial work for my mom so that wasn't a problem and they were more than willing to train for the assistant position. When I told them I could ask my boyfriend's father to teach me some things they were ecstatic, then they found out it was Carlisle, I was hired on the spot. I had only been working there for a month, about four days a week but I was really enjoying it and the doctors really seemed to enjoy my help. I had learned many things and I only had to ask Carlisle to train me on one thing, how to insert a needle properly since I had a problem with the tiny, sharp, instruments.

Third period was a bore also so I contemplated over what Edward and I talked about regarding our plans for after high school. At the moment we had a Plan A and a Plan B. I was all for Plan A and Edward immediately shot it down, but it was still an option for me. Plan A, consisted of me being turned and spending the rest of eternity with Edward and his family. Plan B, was we would go to college in Alaska or Maine, somewhere with a lot of overcast days. Edward had even offered to pay for my college tuition. I didn't care how much money he had to burn, he was _not_ paying for college just like he was _not_ going to buy me a car. He was outrageously passionate about Plan B, about as passionate as I was about Plan A.

Fourth period was a snooze. How many times can a person watch 'National Treasure'?

During fifth period I was bored out of my mind and doodled in my notebook, not caring where the lines took me. If the teacher had actually given us something to do it wouldn't have been so bad, but no, she returned a few papers then told us to be quiet while we enjoyed our free time.

Once it was finally time for lunch I ran especially hasty for the cafeteria. My eyes locked onto Edward instantly and I launched across the room at him. I had obviously surprised him when I felt him stiffen against me; he then relaxed upon noticing it was me.

"Bella, are you all right?" he asked as he patted my hair and his eyes darted around the room for the cause of my distress.

"I'm fine, I just hate last days. They are so boring; it gave me way too much time to think. I think I've gone crazy from the boredom." Edward moved to sit down at the table and positioned me on his lap, both my legs dangling over the side of his. I wrapped my arms around his neck and Edward placed one hand on my back and the other over my legs.

Alice appeared in front of me holding out a salad, I thanked her and quickly ate my offered food. Alice prattled on about the party tonight and what they usually did after the graduations.

Biology was a dream. Mr. Banner had put in some old farming movie and the second the lights were turned off I was cuddling up against Edward's chest. He would switch between kissing my neck, smelling my hair and kissing my head. I continually kissed his hand and palm and once I sucked his finger into my mouth and he became stone still for a few seconds then hissed as he pulled his hand away.

I turned my head slightly and pulled his face down to mine so I could see his face better while I whispered. "What's the matter Edward?"

I wasn't really expecting an answer and I didn't receive one either. What I did receive was an evil glare that told me I shouldn't do _that_ again. I merely shrugged my shoulders and mouthed the word 'what' harmlessly.

Gym was unbearably dull. My two reasons for enjoying this class had now graduated. Thank goodness it was the last class of the last day. Much to my dismay, we were playing dodge-ball. I hid in the back of the gym and let the carnage ensue before me. I was startled when a loose ball rolled to my feet, do I dare?

'_Come on Cullen lover; give me your best shot. Why are you still with him anyways, he can't be that good in bed.'_

Mike had just pushed me over the edge. How was I to know if Edward was good in bed or not, he wouldn't even touch the subject? That aside, I snatched up the squishy ball and without any thought hurled it straight at Mike's face. I winched when the ball whizzed passed his open hands and hit him square in the face, sending him sprawled out on the gym floor.

I stood stunned at what I just did. Several people ran over to make sure Mike was okay and help him back to his feet. At that moment the bell rang, finally releasing us from school. I hastily sprinted in to change and clean out my gym locker.

I ran to my normal locker to clean it out as well. I had just finished when a pair of strong arms slammed onto the wall in front of me, blocking off all escape routes.

"Ready to get this summer started?" a sultry, silky voice whispered from behind me.

I decided to play coy. "I'm not sure. I don't know if I have anything planned besides work, it might be a normal, boring summer." I half yipped, half giggled as I was spun around to face my very handsome boyfriend. He didn't look mad, more like annoyed but in a humorous way.

He started to fiddle with my hair, twirling it around his long fingers then bringing the curl to his lips. "If that's the way you really feel. I'll just leave you to your sick cats and dogs than."

I knew he was teasing me when he turned to leave. I wasn't about to let him off that easy, he was stuck with me for the summer. I quickly grabbed his shirt and pulled him back towards me. We both shared in a mischievous grin just before I stood on my tip-toes and pulled on his shirt slightly to kiss him. He leaned into the kiss and I felt my back hit the locker.

'_Why don't they save that crap for at home?!'_

'_I'm so jealous, wish I was the one kissing him.'_

'_I'd like to be doing __**more**__ than kissing her!'_

The random thoughts were really starting to annoy me. Didn't people have anything better to do than watch us?

'_Apparently not, shall we continue this in the privacy of your home?'_

Most definitely! No sooner had those words crossed my mind than Edward had me on his back and running at human speed for his car. He deposited me in the passenger seat and rounded the Volvo.

"See you in a few hours Alice," I heard him mutter to his sister by the jeep then he was in the driver's seat and leaving the school.

I'm sure he was speeding but I didn't care, I wanted to feel his chilly body leaning into me while my skin heated us both up. We were at my house in less than five minutes and I was pulled out of the car and carried bridal fashion to the house and he pressed his lips to mine. Edward must have swiftly unlocked the door because I didn't even remember opening it.

He had me crushed down on the couch before my heart could get out another faltered beat. He was laying over me, attacking my lips with a vengeance. Had I done something wrong? Oh who cares! I threw my arms around his neck and ran my fingers into his hair, pulling on the bronze locks till he let out a pleasurable moan and he started purring. I tried to arch toward him but his hand shot out and stilled my hips from getting closer. He left my lips to explore my neck; I gasped and breathlessly cried his name when I felt a sudden tug on the skin of my neck. He then returned to my swollen lips.

'_God damn it!'_ Edward growled.

God didn't damn it, the beavers did.

'_That's not what I meant. Charlie is almost here.' _

Oh, one more kiss for good measure than. I pulled his head down as close as I could get him and plunged my tongue in and out of his mouth, we mewled in unison.

'_Hope Bella will be happy with pizza tonight?'_ I could hear Charlie's thoughts which meant he was really close. Too close, I just heard the cruiser pull up the drive. Crap!

I untangled myself from Edward and we sat up like nothing was out of the ordinary, and not a moment too soon. Charlie came through the door carrying a large pizza box, guess I know what's for his breakfast tomorrow.

"Hey kids, what cha up to?" he grinned and waited for an answer.

"Not much, just watching TV." He gave me an all-knowing smile that reminded me of Alice.

He turned and walked into the kitchen._ 'Uh huh, right Bells. You're flushed and the TV isn't even on, nice hickey by the way.'_

My head snapped to the black screen then to a chuckling Edward. I smacked him on the shoulder playfully then whispered to him. "You couldn't remember to turn the TV on, and you gave me a hickey."

He leaned over to give me a surprisingly chaste kiss. _'I didn't hear you complaining, quite the opposite in fact.'_ He pulled away and looked at me with black lustful eyes. "Now go eat!"

I glared at him but did what he said; we _had_ worked up an appetite after all. I walked in and grabbed a couple slices of the pizza then sat down at the table.

"So tonight is the grad party for your siblings' right?" Charlie asked before taking a bite.

"That's correct sir." Edward leaned against the counter while we ate.

"Oh Bells, Renée told me something interesting the last time I talked to her." He took a bite of pizza, obviously trying to build up the suspense.

I silently asked Edward to get me a drink from the fridge and he went to retrieve a bottle of water.

'_She said your boyfriend is a telepath as well.'_

There was a loud thump on the fridge and I looked franticly to Edward who had just hit his head on the fridge.

'_I guess that proves it. Why didn't you tell me?'_ he looked hurt but I knew he was just playing it up.

I nervously picked at the crust of my pizza while Edward placed the bottle on the table before me. "Well sir, like Bella I don't like revealing it and having to explain it every single time."

'_That's understandable. So what's it like being in your girlfriends head?'_ Charlie looked directly at him with mischief in his eyes.

"I honestly couldn't tell you sir. I can't read her mind, just like she can't read mine."

Much to our surprise, Charlie burst out laughing. "So you two are just like every couple out there. You can't cheat by looking into the others mind to see what to do or not to do. You're on equal ground."

He was right; we couldn't cheat to appease the other with saying the right things. We were just a common couple, not normal but common. Destined to learn from our mistakes, oh the irony of it all.

"Well Bella if you're done, are you ready to go?" Edward asked from his relaxed position against the counter.

I nodded and we said goodnight to Charlie.

'_Behave you two!'_

Gee dad, don't strain your voice. Edward grabbed my hand and pulled me outside toward the Volvo. Like normal, he opened the door for me but this time he kissed me all the way down till I was sitting in the passenger seat.

What's with you today?

'_Just want to start the summer off right.'_ He pulled away and ran around the car to his seat.

I watched him sit down and start the engine. "Well, it's off to a pretty good start if you ask me."

We were then heading down the road to his house to celebrate a graduation that was redundant for all the Cullens.

_**Chapter End Notes**_

Well there you have it, chapter 1 of book 2. Was it a good start? Remember, Alice did up the party, how bad/big do you think it will be? Please be gentle.

And please keep in mind; this will be COMPLETELY different than New Moon. A few key events are in common but the cause is different. YES, Edward will leave but not because of a paper-cut and he won't be gone for a year either. While E&B are separated I'll be alternating between PoV so we'll get to see how Edward is handing the separation as well as Bella.


	2. Trips

I don't own anything Twilight. The idea of Bella being a mind reader is mine and a few events. Everything else belongs to Stephenie Meyers. No copyright infringement intended. Nearly all my chapters have mild language, mainly name calling.

**Chapter 2: Trips**

OH. MY. GOD. Alice always goes overboard when a party or special event is involved. There was a large banner hanging over the front of the house that said 'Congratulations Rose, Em and Jazz!' different colored crepe paper streamers hung from it and danced in the minuscule breeze.

I was dreading going inside, this wasn't even for me and I was scared. "I changed my mind, take me home."

Edward laughed loudly and shook his head then wiggled his eyebrows at me. "I don't think so; I actually value my life now."

Idiot.

As soon as the Volvo pulled up to the front of the house and turned off the engine, Alice had me pulled out of the car and towed into the house. I was terrified at seeing more streamers and even a disco ball was hanging from the ceiling.

"Um, Alice, how many people are you expecting?" I asked as she went over and turned on the stereo.

"Everyone is here now, why?" she answered then pranced over and took my hands and started to spin me. _'We're going to have so much fun.'_

"Isn't this a bit much for just the family?" she just grinned sheepishly as we danced together, and then the real horror hit me. "It's going to be worse when we graduate isn't it?"

'_What ever do you mean?'_ her grin became very wicked at my question.

Crap!

I felt cool fingers tickle across my back and around my ribs, causing my breathing to cut off. "Mind if I steal my girlfriend for a little bit?"

Alice spun me around into Edward's chest. "Go ahead, but only for a _little bit_ though. We leave in half an hour."

I watched as Alice pranced up the stairs to her room then my eyes shot back to Edward, full of panic. "What did she mean we're leaving?"

He sighed as he pulled me closer to him and we started to sway to the music. "Emmett, Rosalie, Jasper, Alice and I are going out hunting together for the last time, for awhile anyway, since Em and Rose are going to Africa. Will you be alright here with Carlisle and Esme for about two hours?"

I stuck out my bottom lip and pouted. "I'll manage…somehow."

He cupped my face with his hands and pressed a small kiss to the tip of my nose then smiled crookedly. "Ho, poor thing, we'll be back shortly then we can really start the party."

He twirled me away from him and I stood staring at him. "I'll be patient, on one condition." I grinned when one of his eyebrows shot up and I whirled back to him, placing my chest firmly to his. "I want a real and passionate kiss before -"

He cut my sentence off with exactly what I had asked for. We stopped dancing and he wrapped his arms around my back, pulling me closer to him, allowing him to deepen the kiss. I flung my arms around his neck and wove my fingers into his unruly tresses and a low purr started in his chest. I felt one of his hands pursue up my back gracefully and his fingers tangled into my hair. His other hand traveled my back and lingered on the waist band of my pants, one of his fingers maneuvered between my pants and my skin. I was starting to feel weak in the knees and every part of my body felt like it was floating.

"Hey Esme, do we have any ice?" I heard Rosalie holler from somewhere in the house but I didn't care.

"I don't know, why?"

"Because it's getting rather hot in the living room." I turned my head away from Edward in time to see Rosalie descend the stairs and smirk at us. "Well, you two seem to be enjoying yourselves."

I glared then stuck my tongue out at her. "Oh, why don't you go to Africa already?"

She waved her hand in dismissal and walked toward the dinning room. "Don't worry; Em and I are leaving tonight." _'Then there will be two less interruptions for you guys.'_

"I so wish I had something to throw at her right now," I continued to glare after her. Edward leaned down and chuckled into my hair.

"Ok guys, it's time to go," Alice appeared at the bottom of the stairs and looked apologetically at us. "Sorry Bella, he'll only be gone for a couple hours, it's tradition."

I scoffed at Alice's words then looked up at Edward's sad face. "Who am I to ruin tradition? Your eyes _are_ a little dark; go get a mountain lion alright. I'll hang out and pester Carlisle and Esme till you get back."

His eyes lit up and he quickly pulled me in for a kiss. _'Love you, be back soon._' Then the five of them were gone.

That brat! He didn't even give me a chance to return his 'love you'. I'll get him tonight, maybe I'll raid Alice's closet, yeah right. I stared around the empty room, the music was still going and the bouncing lights from the disco ball were still moving. It felt unexpectedly depressing being in here alone. I went upstairs to the library in search of a good book.

'_Bored already?'_

The sudden mental voice startled me and I jumped probably a foot off the ground. I spun around to see Carlisle sitting in a colonial style chair reading a medical book, of course.

"Damn it Carlisle, unlike some, I do have a heartbeat, and it just stopped." I pressed my hand to my chest and I could feel the pounding through my chest plate.

He chuckled at my comment and closed his book. 'Sorry, I thought you knew I was in here." He cleared his throat and looked at me with sad eyes. "They haven't even been gone five minutes yet and you're already lost without him aren't you?"

"Is it that obvious?" he nodded with an awkward grin. Something I had been pondering over lately flashed in my head. "I was wondering if I could ask you something, since a vampire's memory is perfect."

"I don't know about it being perfect but it is near faultless. Ask away." He gestured for me to sit in one of the other large Victorian chairs.

"Since Edward can't remember very well, I was hoping you could tell me about him and his parents when he was human." I sat down in the chair across from him while Carlisle set his book on the table next to him.

"I didn't really get a chance to meet his father, Edward Senior. He lost consciousness and died soon after the first wave of the influenza broke out. His mother Elizabeth remained alert till almost the very end. Edward takes after his mother in appearance, though his messy mane came from his father, they both had the same shade of bronze in their hair and they shared the same rich and sparkling emerald green eyes."

"Edward's eyes were green?" I muttered, shocked. I tried to imagine his gorgeous face with green eyes smiling back at me. It was a good thing I was sitting because I felt my knees go shaky.

"Yes…" he snickered and smiled. "It was Elizabeth that convinced me to change him."

"His mother did?"

"Elizabeth ruined her chances of recover by trying to nurse Edward from her sick bed, she loved him so much." Carlisle's topaz eyes grew sad and distant. "Edward was actually worse off than she was, I expected him to go first. After my _forced_ pretend rest session was over I went to check on them first. I had done the one thing truly dangerous for our kind, aside from revealing ourselves…I'd grown fond of them. The second I looked at Elizabeth I noticed she'd taken a turn for the worse, her fever was raging and her body had grown too weak to fight anymore.

"'Save him, please,' she begged me in a ragged and pained voice from her cot, her piercing green eyes were demanding and pleading.

"'I'll do everything I can to save him,' I promised.

"She clutched my hand so tightly I was beginning to wonder if she might in fact pull through this. 'You must do everythin_g_ in _your_ power to save him. You have to do what others are unable to do.'

"She had petrified me, did she know my secret? Did she know what I was? Did she realize what she was asking for her son? Shortly after her demand, the fever pulled her into unconsciousness, she died an hour later.

"I had spent nearly a century trying to convince myself to create a companion for myself. Two hundred years was an awfully long time to be alone. To have some one who truly knew me, not what I pretended to be, to not have to hide what I was when around them. But could I really do to someone what had been done to me?

"Edward lay dying; even while sick I could tell how beautiful he was. His face held purity and goodness and innocence. He had the kind of face I would want for my son, had I had the chance to have one.

"Elizabeth's words echoed in my head as I stared down at her newly orphaned son. _'Save him, please,'_ how could I deny a dying woman's last wish, she had unwittingly made up my mind to end my solitude.

"As if possessed, I wheeled her to the morgue, and then I came back for Edward. There were too many patients and not enough doctors and eyes; no one noticed he was still breathing when I wheeled him to the morgue as well. There was no one alive in the morgue, I wrapped up Edward in a sheet and stole him out the back door. I carried him across rooftops back to my house, and laid him out on the unnecessary bed.

"I was totally lost on what to do next. I thought back to my own change and decided to recreate the bite I had received in London. Three days of screaming later I had my first son. I have never regretted changing Edward; I only wondered that he was too young. Considering how long he went without a mate, but I see now, it was for the best." Carlisle winked at me as he finished his story. _'You are literally meant for each other.'_

I blushed and smiled at Carlisle then stood up. "Thank you Carlisle, I think I'm going to listen to music in Edward's room till he returns." He nodded again with a smile that was more than joyful.

I made my way out of the library and headed for Edward's room. I don't know why but I stopped by Alice and Jasper's room, I had a sudden urge to look in her closet. The main door to their room was open so I casually walked in. Everything in the room was either white or silver; it suited the prancing pixie well.

I walked across the room and flung the French doors open. The amount of clothing she had always astonished me, I swear she has more clothes than most celebrities. Hanging on the back wall of the closet was a white nighty with black lace accents with a matching pair of panties* and there was a note taped to the front of it:

Bella, use this tonight.

Oh my god, what did she see? Maybe she saw us going past Edward's boundaries tonight. Do I dare? HELL YES!

I quickly retrieved the outfit and fled the room. I was in Edward's room in a few heartbeats and I shut the door behind me. Where was I going to hide this till I was ready for bed? I had been given a side of Edward's closet for all the clothes Alice had gotten me, I would carefully stash it there. Edward would have no reason to look through my clothes.

I stowed the lingerie behind a frilly hunter green dress and a light pink sweater. I then turned on the stereo on my way to the bed. The classical notes of Debussy filled the room and I closed my eyes, enjoying the melodies.

The bed shifted slightly beneath me and my eyes snapped open. I was shocked to see a pair of golden honey eyes staring at me from mere inches in front of me. My breathing caught in my throat as I gazed at the magnificent face with a charming crooked smile.

"Enjoying your self?" his topaz eyes flashed black for a second and I smiled at him.

I stretched my arms up and around his next leisurely. "More so now that you're here." Using his neck as leverage I pulled myself to him and locked my lips to his.

Edward moaned into my mouth and pushed me back onto the pillow without interrupting the kiss. I was soon aware of Edward's fingers touching around the hem of my shirt. I inhaled sharply when his cooled skin came in contact with my heated flesh and a jolt of electricity ran over my ribs.

'_Don't get too carried away you two,'_ I whined upon hearing Alice's thoughts.

Edward sighed into my hair. "I should go take a shower and Alice was saying earlier that she wanted your help." He climbed off of me and the bed, ironically I immediately felt cold.

I lunged for him and grabbed his shirt, successfully stopping him in his tracks. Edward turned around to look at me. I moved so I was kneeling on the bed running my hands over his chest. "Mind if I join you?"

I was overjoyed when he started to look me over and I could see the deliberation going on in her onyx eyes. He grabbed me by the shoulders and the growl he let loose sounded sad. "No, I'll take a shower while you go see what Alice wants."

I stuck out my bottom lip and downcast my eyes in a pout. "Okay fine, but don't take to long."

Edward grinned and kissed my forehead, "never do."

I climbed off the bed as he scurried to the bathroom. I figured I should see what the sprite wanted before she came up here and dragged me away. When I made it to the living room I jumped the last three steps of the stairs and landed without a problem.

"What the hell Bella, since when could you do that and not break a bone?" Alice asked with wide eyes.

I simply shrugged at the question. "Don't know…I just felt like doing it. My balance and coordination are at an all time high. I haven't tripped or fallen in months, except my little _trip_ in Cancun." I smirked as she winced at the memory of our trip during spring break and the lie we told everyone to explain my injuries. "So what were you wanting help with?"

Alice squealed and I had to plug my ears at the high pitch. She led me over to the dinning room table and sat down with some paper and a pen. "Jasper and I are going away for a week and I was wondering if you had any ideas of things to do. We're joining Em and Rose in Africa."

I sat thinking for a little bit. "Why in the world would a hundred year old vampire need my advice on travel plans?"

"I thought we could do something different besides shopping," I arched an eyebrow. _'Okay something __**along**__ with shopping.'_

Thought so. "Well, you could try the local cuisine."

"That's a given. Gazelle, zebra, giraffe, cheetah - that one would be fun." I giggled as I pictured them chasing a cheetah; that was comical. "Might pass on the rhino though, they seem rather tough."

I flat out laughed at her comparison and the use of human vernaculars to food. "Might be too difficult to chew? Well there are several museums and war memorials, you could go scuba diving and whale watching. Gambling at Sun City, there are a lot of safaris…that might be a bad idea; you might think it's a buffet."

I heard Jasper and Emmett erupt into laughter in the living room.

'_A buffet, cool idea, I need to remember that.'_ I shook my head at Emmett's thinking, those poor animals.

"Well, if you have enough ideas I'm going up to bed." I looked at Alice and waited for the go ahead.

"I'm good here, thanks. Goodnight," _'And I do mean good-night.'_

"Goodnight Alice," I walked into the living room and said my goodnight to the guys then ascended the stairs two at a time.

I walked into Edward's room to see him sitting on the bed, his hair still dripping and laying flat on his head, I had an overwhelming urge to lick away all the water droplets dripping down his skin. I leaned forward and bowed to him. "Oh hail, Poseidon, the mighty go-"

Edward growled and pulled me into his arms then thrust me down on the bed beneath him. I gazed up into his blackened orbs and I was lost in the amount of lust spilling from them. He kissed my forehead then stood up, leaving me confused beyond belief.

"I need to talk to Carlisle. Get ready for bed and I'll be back shortly," he then zipped out of the room.

I sat on the edge of the bed wondering what I had just missed. Before I went to help Alice we were on fire and now that I was back, he was Mr. Icicle. I then thought to the small article of clothing hiding in the closet. I would thaw him out, that was for sure. I jumped up and ran to the bathroom to take care of things then sprinted back to the closet and rather quickly changed into the nighty. I hit the light switch on my way to the bed and I laid down to wait for Edward. The stereo was still playing so that was one thing I didn't have to do.

Tonight! Tonight we would become a couple in every sense of the word. I got comfy under the exquisitely plush comforter and straightened out the blankets. Tonight, I will become his.

Despite my best effort, the warmth of the bedding and the soft classical melodies playing in the background lulled me into a wishful slumber.

_**Chapter End Notes:**_

Sorry for cutting it there, I had to set it up for the next chapter. That fact aside, how was it?

Will Bella finally become Edward's in mind, soul and body? What was so urgent that Edward _had_ to speak to Carlisle at that moment?


	3. Never

I don't own anything Twilight. The idea of Bella being a mind reader is mine and a few events. Everything else belongs to Stephenie Meyers. No copyright infringement intended. Nearly all my chapters have mild language, mainly name calling.

**Chapter 3: Never**

To my greatest pleasure I felt chilly and strong arms wrap around me and I snuggled closer to the source of the cold. I moaned happily when the cold arms gripped me tighter. My eyes fluttered open and lit up at seeing my loves face illuminated by the moonlight spilling through his giant windows.

"I'm sorry, I didn't mean to wake you," I shook my head to stop his apology.

"I would rather be woken by you accidentally than intentionally woken by anyone else." Edward smirked then kissed my forehead. "So what did you talk to Carlisle about?"

"Well, you jumped from the stairs earlier and it got me thinking. I went and asked if he knew why your agility had increased? He didn't know off the top of his head but he thought it had to do with your confidence," he placed another kiss on my forehead then on both cheeks. "He thinks your balance has improved because you feel better about yourself and he thinks our relationship has a lot to do with it."

That's what he thought was so important that he had to put the breaks on, the ass. I glared at him for half a second knowing full well I could never stay angry with him for longer than that.

"Is it a bad thing that I'm not falling over myself near as much since you met me?" I batted my eyelashes harmlessly at him.

"No, of course not, it's just I don't get to save you as much anymore," he looked away from me with a shy and embarrassed expression.

"Should I throw myself on the ground more often so you feel better?"

"NO, no, I'll live. Don't you dare harm yourself because of me," I nodded impishly at him. I never had any intention of hurting myself; I just liked seeing him flustered.

"So what is everyone doing?"

"Well, Carlisle and Esme are currently active in their marital bliss and everyone else is on their way to Africa." He answered so quickly it was like I had asked directions to the grocery store, blunt and boring.

I sat up swiftly and stared sorrowfully at Edward. "They left already? I didn't even get to say goodbye."

"They uh, wanted you to get…your sleep…. They said goodbye…though,"

I was thoroughly perplexed by Edward's flustered speech and lack of concentration. He was definitely distracted by something. I followed his line of sight and noticed he was looking at my body. I had completely forgotten I had worn the white and black lace lingerie to bed last night. We were the only ones in the house, aside from Carlisle and Esme but they were a bit preoccupied at the moment.

Tonight was the night. I pushed the comforter away from me and moved onto Edward's lap, straddling his hips. I positioned myself above him and he let out a long pleasurable moan. I bit my bottom lip and smiled when Edward's head fell back onto the headboard.

"Do you like me sitting like this?" I ran my hands over his chest and started to caress each muscle.

He nodded slightly and groaned and a hint of purring escaped his throat. "Tell me what else you would like me to do." I trailed my fingers over his chest and started to undo the buttons I then leaned down and started to kiss his collar bone.

He pulled his head up off the headboard and looked at me with black eyes. "Kiss me…" his voice was raspy and dripping with lust.

He didn't have to ask me twice. I pressed my lips down on his without restraint. I sat up a bit and leaned my chest fully against his. I wove my fingers into his hair and tugged on the bronze dangling from his head. His arms latched around my waist and he instantly flipped us around so I was on my back gazing up at him. Edward was flat out vibrating now; the sound coming from his chest seemed to heighten my urges. I started to feel a throbbing and moist feeling between my legs. God, how I want you?

'_I feel the same way.'_

Edward moved so he was leaning over me, kissing me relentlessly, he then positioned one of his legs between mine and I arched up to him. I broke away to catch a quick breath and in the process he started kissing my neck and feeling his way around my rib cage, stomach and hips. Every time he squeezed my hips or pulled a bit at my neck I arched upward to meet him. I felt a bulge in his pants when I arched the last time and it rubbed against my uncovered clit. Now I know why underwear wasn't included in this outfit.

I turned my head to capture his mouth again and was rewarded by a passionate, hungry kiss. If you could see stars from just a kiss, this would be that kiss. His tongue was playing hockey with mine and there were no winners yet. The ache between my legs was growing, intensifying, and driving me crazy. Even though Edward's hands were all over my body and his mouth was on mine, it wasn't enough. I wanted to feel more, experience more, and love more. I wanted more of Edward and that was final.

As if possessed, my hand reached out and I grasped hold Edward's growing excitement through his pants.

In the next instant I was lying by myself on the bed, panting, shocked and searching.

I leaned up on my elbows to see Edward pressed into the far wall, a little sheetrock dust resting on top of his coppery hair. His eyes were back to a golden brown but were terrified and panicked.

"Edward?" I sat up and started to climb out of the bed.

"I'm sorry Bella, I can't do this." He looked very sorry and his expression was pleading for understanding.

"Okay, so you're not ready to make love yet, we can wait till you -"

"No, I mean _I_ _can't do this_. I can never take the chance of hurting you. You are so fragile and delicate, all it would take was one false move and you would be gone forever. You are too important to me - I can never hurt you." He hugged his arms around himself and held tightly.

"So don't hurt me," I walked closer to him, trying to reassure him I wasn't scared.

"It's not that simple Bella. I could get carried away and grab you wrong, I could totally lose myself in the troughs of passion and accidentally bite you. I could…"

"Than change me, then you won't have to worry about hurting me," I scoffed as a realization came to mind. "_I_ would have to be careful with _you_ instead for the next year, huh."

"NO, I will not change you. You will never become a monster like me." I reached for his face and forced him to look at me.

I had learned early on in our relationship that he would become putty to my touch, and he would lose all ability to move at the slightest contact. "Edward, have you failed to notice, I love you, all of you - monster included. Would it be so bad to have me become a monster so we can be together, forever?"

"Bella, you will _never_ become a vampire."

_Never_? "So, let me get this right. You will not make love to me for fear of hurting me, right?" he nodded. "The only way I can see getting past that fear is for me to become a vampire like you. But you won't allow for that to happen, correct?" he nodded again. "So we'll never be able to make love?" he winced at my words. "I thought you wanted to marry me."

"I do want to marry you…"

My hands fell from his face as the puzzle pieces fell into place, painfully. He wanted me to be with him but not with him in _that_ way. He seemed to hate being careful with touching me but he wouldn't rectify that with changing me so I would be stronger. He wanted to bond us together in mind and soul and marriage but not in body. He wanted to watch me grow old and die; he wanted me to die an eighty year old virgin.

I took a step away from him and for once I was scared of him. Not in the conventional should be way, but in fear of never truly being with him in the way I so desperately wanted, I would _never_ be his completely. My next words were barely even a whisper, "I'm not a lover…I'm a pet…"

"Is that what you want, a lover? Then go be with Mike Newton, Jacob Black, Eric Yorkie or even Tyler Crowley. At lease you would have a _real_ love life with them." He growled loudly.

Unfortunately, I didn't think about the consequences of my actions. My eyes were seeing a deep crimson red as I stared at Edward. Without any thought or worry for my own well being, my right hand smacked into the left side of his face. I heard several cracking sounds at the impact.

"Is that what you think? That I only want sex? Would you rather see me in Jake's bed or Mike's?" he winced. All of my veins were seeping with frustration and the tears started to fall. "I only wanted to be connected to you, to say 'yes I was yours in every way'. To have the same connection the rest of your family has with their mates. We're connected in every other way but in body."

"Let me see your hand," he reached for my shattered hand and I pulled away.

I ignored the searing pain burning in each of my fingers. "Am I wrong to assume that you'll make me your wife but you don't want me as your mate? Didn't you tell me once that vampires mate for life, so if you don't mate isn't that the same as saying you don't want me for life?"

"Of course I want you but if it will cause you pain or death I will abstain from it, to protect you." His eyes were worried and pleading again and they continued to dart between my face and my broken hand.

"I have enough protection, a whole coven of vampires in fact. What I want and need is a boyfriend that will love me unconditionally, not a father that fears for my well being and safety." I glared up at him as he focused on my now swelling hand. "Be honest with me, when you said you wanted to marry me, you were just looking for a companion to talk to, play chess with and pass your days with for the next sixty odd years, wasn't it? Was I just one of your distractions?"

Edward's eyes suddenly became hollow and lifeless. Had I struck a nerve or hit the nail on the head? How come I can see what he is capable of with my inadequate human eyes when he can not with his perfect vampire eyes? Did he whole heartedly believe he was a monster only capable of hurting me?

"Edward, I know you could never hurt me," my voice was softer now, pleading, begging for him to understand the level of control he already had. "Edward, love conquers all, even monsters."

His golden orbs softened for a second then froze back up into steel sheets. "You don't get it! I can never be your lover…I'm not good for you Bella. I'm a vampire, you're a human… I can't be with you like you want…we just can't be…"

"THEN WHY DID YOU LET ME FALL IN LOVE WITH YOU IF YOU WERE ONLY GOING TO GO SO FAR IN THE RELATIONSHIP?" I was clenching my fists, despite the pain in my right hand. My body had gone completely rigid as I screamed.

He took a step back, away from me. He looked at me sadly and uncertain. "Honestly, I don't know…"

My feet were frozen to the floor as I watched him jump out his bedroom window into the solid black of night, a cloud having blocked the moon rendering the surrounding forest completely dark.

"Edward…EDWARD…**EDWARD**..."

When there was no answer and no sound in response my body became numb. I turned toward the window and took a step forward but I instantly fell to my knees.

"He left me! Am I really just a _pet_?" I leaned forward and pressed my forehead to the cream colored carpet as my body was over come with weeping.

I'm not sure how long I had stayed in that position or how long I cried but I had the vaguest view that the sky was growing lighter. At some point during my breakdown I felt motherly arms wrap around my shoulders and pull me against her chest.

"Esme, was I wrong?" I bawled into her blouse and her grip on me increased.

"No sweetheart, you're not wrong. At some point all couples will want to take that last step. I understand the relationship between a human and a vampire is unusual but my son should know that a physical union between you two _is_ possible." She ran her hand up and down my back trying to calm me. "Our friends in Denali frequently have human male friends over to, uh, satisfy their female urges."

"So why did he act like that?"

Esme hugged me closer and patted the top of my head. "I wish I knew. Maybe he wants to keep you pure for as long as he can or he doesn't believe in his own control. Look on the bright side - you know he does indeed want you. Just give him some time to figure out his feelings and wants, he'll come around."

I nodded despondently and looked out the open doors to the bright forest. "Can you take me home?"

"If that's what you want sure I can. How about you get dressed first, then Carlisle can look at your hand then we can go." I nodded against her chest then Esme stood up and helped steady myself on my feet.

When I was righted on my feet she left me to get dressed. I walked into the closet and ripped off the nighty, literally. If this is what Alice saw happening I'm _never_ betting on her again. Once the lingerie lay in tatters around the closet floor I promptly pulled on my undergarments, a pair of jeans and a black top - it matched my mood at the moment.

I swiftly walked to Carlisle's study so he could examine my hand. Before I could knock on the door he ushered me inside. I walked over to him and held my hand out to him without a word. My hand was now a nice rainbow of blues, blacks and reds and was twice the size it should be.

"HOLY CRAP BELLA! You used all your strength to slap him didn't you?" I merely shrugged. "Not that I blame you, what he said was very cold. I thought I raised him better than that?" I cringed at Carlisle's words.

I wasn't into talking right now and he seemed to pick up on that. He retrieved an elaborate brace from one of the cabinets and started to secure it to my hand. "I know you're not very fond of regular casts so I'll just put on a stronger brace. Hopefully in a month it can come off."

I sat silently and watched as he fastened the last of the straps and handed me a small bottle of pain relievers. "These pills are really strong so take only one when the pain is unbearable. I want to see you in a few days to check your hand alright. Esme is in the garage waiting for you."

I thanked him then ambled slowly down to the garage and joined Esme in the Mercedes. I rested my cheek against the window as Esme drove me home. It took us ten minutes to reach my house since Esme drove at the posted speed limit.

"Just give him time Bella," was all Esme said as I climbed out of the car.

I swiftly ran into the house then up to my room and threw myself on my bed and broke down into tears again and that was where I stayed for the remainder of the day and night. Not wanting for anything except for the love that had abandoned me.

* * *

_**Chapter End Notes:**_

Sorry this chapter was shorter than the others. I'm not big on conflict and I sooo wanted to fix the fighting but if I did that I would have had to change my storyline completely. So I bit my lip and stuck with my plot. Sorry.

Next chapter is from Edward's point of view. What will become of our dear virginal vampire? How far will he travel to protect Bella from himself? How will his family react?


	4. You're On Your Own!

I don't own anything Twilight. The idea of Bella being a mind reader is mine and a few events. Everything else belongs to Stephenie Meyers. No copyright infringement intended. Nearly all my chapters have mild language, mainly name calling.

**Sorry it took so long to get a chapter out. I had the best New Years/Anniversary gift ever. I woke up on the 1st to a BSoD (blue screen of death), which we found out my motherboard and processor had died. I was stuck using a PoS computer for a week and had no access to my stories. Now I have new parts and I'm back, not totally back, husband still needs to finish setting it up. But he's asleep so I'm submitting a chapter while I can. Please enjoy.**

**Chapter 4: You're On Your Own!**

I ran about five miles away from the house, away from my screaming love. I heard her shouting my name, but I was too absorbed in my worry for her safety to pay heed. Now I was wearing a figure eight path around two trees as I thought and brooded. So my siblings were right, I was prone to brooding.

What was I thinking? There was no way for us to be intimate with each other. I could accidentally kill her with one wrong move of my pinkie.

Did she honestly think I wasn't ready to make love? That couldn't be farthest from the truth. I wanted so badly to connect ourselves in that way also, but what if after the act I had bruised or broken her and she finally saw me for what I truly am and ran screaming from me. That was something I couldn't live with, the fear that at any moment I could scare her and she would leave me.

Not once had she ever worried that I would harm her in anyway, I probably worried enough for the both of us is why. Despite our argument back in April she was still adamant about becoming a vampire. She was right though, if she was turned I would have no cause for hesitation with her anymore. She wanted to become a monster just like me – that would never happen on my watch.

_Never_…I had used that word earlier tonight and I could sense the moment her heart ripped in two. She made the comment that we would only truly be together when I no longer feared for her safety, and that would only be possible if she was a vampire, which I refused to give her. When she brought up my want to marry her I felt my immobile heart sky rocket and shatter at the same time.

I was surprised and frightened when her dainty hands fell from my face. Her eyes started to dart quickly around my face, searching for an unspoken answer. I felt my whole body ice over even more so as she took a step away from me, her expression was riddled with fear.

I felt the venom in my veins boil as she whispered her next words. _"I'm not a lover…I'm a pet…"_ Now that I look back on it, my response was extremely cruel. I had yelled and growled at her, accusing her of only wanting me for sex, I then told her to go be with a human guy.

What was wrong with me? After all we had been through, what we were capable of accomplishing together, and how much we truly needed one another – I knew my angry reply were hollow words. Just like the one saying said 'I was seeing red'.

I was then knocked for a loop when her palm came in contact with my cheek. It hadn't hurt physically but emotionally, I was at a loose for words. Bella had struck me, after what I had said I deserved it. I winced when she asked me if I would prefer to see her in someone else's bed. Of course not, but if she wanted sex than she would be better off elsewhere. She had only wanted to deepen our connection but that was a wish I was unwilling to fulfill.

I reached for her hand to examine the shattered bones I heard break on impact with my rock hard skin. Before I had even touched her delicate skin she had pulled away from my hand causing my cold heart to clench tightly in my chest. She had finally seen me for the monster I tried desperately to hide.

My eyes darted worriedly to her face then to her hand then back to her face as she accused me of not wanting her for life, since vampires mated for life. I argued that she was wrong and I did want her but I would not hurt her, if need be I would abstain from pleasure to protect her.

She knocked me for another loop when she compared me to a father and not a boyfriend. It was true I was overprotective but was my protectiveness more like that of her father than of her boyfriend. When she asked if she was just one of my distractions I felt the very life in me leave. How could she even think she was a distraction? All the time I told her I loved her, kissed her, and embraced her – did she think of all that was a lie?

Her voice became very soft as she quoted one of the oldest lines known to man, 'love conquers all,' and she thought it would win out over my monster. Even if she thought love could beat out the beast between us I couldn't take that chance.

I tried to explain our differences, that as a human she was fragile and easily broken, James had proven that point last spring. And I being the strong and powerful vampire that I was made into could never be intimate with her. I would never risk her life for my own pleasure.

Then Bella snapped. Her whole body went rigid as she screamed at me, wondering why I even let her fall in love with me if I was going to only go so far. That stung more than anything I had heard from her tonight. I stepped away from her as I fought to find a reason. Why did I want her love and approval so badly when I knew I could only progress to a certain stage? I was confused and most of all lost, I didn't have an explanation.

The only answer I could give her spilled from my lips sorrowfully. "Honestly, I don't know…" Her words hurt and she was fuming with anger. There was obviously no reasoning with her. She had her opinion on the ordeal and I had mine and it was apparent that we couldn't agree on a middle ground.

I couldn't deal with this – I had to get out of the house. Without a word I sprang from my bedroom window into the darkened forest. I heard Bella hollering my name but I was too upset to pay it any attention.

And here I was, five miles from my home wondering where I had gone wrong in our relationship. Should I have stayed away that first time I had left, when I had fled from the pull of her blood. I shook my head as I rounded the tree again. No, that wouldn't have been possible – the pull that was Bella was even stronger than her blood. Maybe I should have remained just as her friend then we wouldn't be in this mess. No, couldn't do that either – I was drawn to her lips like I couldn't believe; only a boyfriend could take advantage of that delicious red mouth. Maybe if I had warned her from the start of our relationship that we could only go so far she wouldn't be pushing the issue right now. If I had done that there were only two outcomes I could think about. One – she wouldn't want a liaison with me and two – we would be right where we are right now, both extremely frustrated.

Dawn was approaching now, the sky becoming a brilliant smoky lilac and dusty pink as the sun rose over the trees. It was a beautiful morning following a not so beautiful night.

I traveled at slightly faster than human speed back to the house. Bella was going to be furious with me. Maybe my leaving like I did had pushed her over the limit. I did ignore her pleading cries and left her alone in my room and I hadn't returned all night. Perhaps this was a good thing. If Bella wanted someone she could share that special connection with, it couldn't be me. Regardless of the fact that we were – as Alice called us – U.S., ultimate soulmates, that was a facet of our relationship I wasn't willing to cross.

I wonder if the Fates were sitting around their little loom of destiny playing around with our threads right now. They were probably having a nice cup of tea and a good laugh over the idea of weaving the life of a vampire with a human's – that was just cruel.

As I neared the house I started listening for the one sound that proved I was home – Bella's heartbeat. Nothing, I heard absolutely nothing. I picked up the pace and flashed to the house in a matter of seconds. I heard Carlisle's Mercedes pull off the highway and onto the gravel of our driveway.

'_You're going to be sorry…'_

I looked from the approaching car to the house, curious as to why Carlisle's thoughts were coming from the house. I was surprised to see Esme pull the car into the garage, she didn't drive much so this was a surprise. Esme climbed out of the car and stormed over to me, rage evident in her caramel eyes.

"Do you have any idea what your little stunt did to Bella last night? She was in tears – she stopped long enough for Carlisle to look at her hand and for me to drive her home. I heard her start up again as soon as she was in her room. She's devastated!" I was surprised that Esme's hair wasn't waving around like Medusa's in all the old movies. She was truly angry with me. "What is wrong with you? You know you two can get physical with each other. Or have you placed her on a pedestal so high you're afraid to reach for her? How long do you plan on keeping her and yourself pure? If you're not careful – someone will break, and I guarantee, it won't be pretty."

She went quiet and let me think over her words. So I didn't even have to touch Bella to do her harm. All I had to do was tell her 'no' and leave for a night and she would be crushed. No matter what I did, it was wrong. Bella would always hurt as long as she was with me. "We have to leave."

"Excuse me…did you say leave?" Esme asked and I nodded. "Stay here." She pointed to my spot on the front porch then disappeared into the house.

The only thing I could get from her thoughts were images of Bella hunched over on the floor, Bella with a swollen and broken hand, Bella asking if she was wrong, and Bella running into her house and crying shortly there after.

Esme returned a minute later with a full duffle bag and a smaller oblong bag and dropped them at my feet. I gazed at the bags then to her quizzically.

"You want to leave…leave. You're on your own, we aren't going anywhere. I refuse to abandon a daughter because of your stupidity and puritan behavior. There is a tent for you to use and some changes of clothes." She stared at me with narrowed eyes then spun around and stormed back into the house.

I stared down at the duffle and tent that rested on the porch in front of me. ESME. JUST. KICKED. ME. OUT. My god, I never expected her to do something like this. Of course I never expected to find someone like Bella either, or expect her to want me in that way. I reluctantly lifted the bags off the porch then walked into the forest behind the house.

I ran ten miles straight out which put me exactly ten miles directly out from Bella's house, so either way I would be only be ten miles away from both houses. I cleared away sticks and rocks to make a flat spot for the tent. After almost two hours and some wrinkled instructions later I finally had the tent set up. Even if our camping equipment was bought for mere prop reason and we had never used it, I guess we should have learned to at least set the stuff up. I threw my duffle into a corner of the tent then stood there staring at it.

My mom had actually kicked me out. I expected her to lay into me, yell at me, even ground me, but this was completely unexpected. My normally passive mother had put her foot down, loudly.

I walked over to the duffle and sifted through its contents. It was just clothes, nothing to occupy my time, no books, music, or journals. I guess she wanted me to think about my actions regarding Bella and last night. Believe me, I have thought. In fact I thought too much – from what my siblings told me. The first and foremost concern in my mind was Bella's safety everything else came later.

I had no idea how long Esme planned on keeping me out of the house for but I wasn't going to sit here doing nothing. Day after tomorrow would be Monday and I would walk to town and check out Forks inadequate excuse for a bookstore. I might even check up on Bella, see how she's doing. With my boredom remedied on Monday I set off to do some hunting.

I ended up wandering far into Canada in search of the more plentiful amounts of mountain lions. I felt like letting out some of my frustration and the big cats were perfect. I got caught up in my game of cat n' mouse with the mountain lions, the cats being the mouse of course, causing me to lose track of time. Four cats, two bears, and three deer later I finally made my way back to Forks. I could have sworn I was sloshing as I ran back to Washington and back to my tent.

I changed quickly into a set of clean and whole clothes and set off for town. I stepped out of the trees into a back alley so I wouldn't raise suspicion and I walked down the street on the overcast day and noticed the blinking sign of Forks only bank. It was late afternoon on Thursday. Damn, I didn't think I had been gone that long, darn those playful kittens.

I quickly slipped into the bookstore and purchased several books, most I had read already and a couple I hadn't. After the bookstore I made my way toward Bella's house. I hadn't even turned down her street yet when I saw her walking in my direction. I leapt behind the nearest building, not wanting her to know I was here to watch her.

She was glancing to the ground frequently and she didn't have the usual smile that had been gracing her face nonstop for the past several months. I was a bit surprise when she stumbled as she stepped onto the sidewalk. I bite my lip to hold in the chuckle. Bella passed my hiding spot and continued on toward town. She must have to work today. I was more than a little shocked when she accidentally kneed a fire hydrant and elbowed the door as she walked into the veterinary clinic.

What in the world? I thought her balance had improved. Is my absence from her life causing her accidents? Had I ruined her confidence and self esteem? Everything I do is terrible for her. I stay and she could die, I leave and her misfortune increases – there is no in-between. Maybe if she found someone else she could give her heart to she would get better. That thought alone made me sick to my stomach.

I snuck over and peeked into the window of the clinic, careful to not be seen. Bella was sitting at the secretary's desk writing in a notebook of some kind. Her eyes were nearly hollow and there were dark shadows under her eyes like she hadn't been sleeping well. In less than a week she had gone from a vibrant, cheerful, young woman to a spiritless, depressed shell. I truly was a monster. Stay – physical death, leave – emotional limbo, at least limbo she can recover from.

"What's the matter Bella? Fight with your boyfriend?" I watched as she noticeably winced at the doctor's question.

"In a matter of speaking, I think he broke up with me," her voice was empty, emotionless.

"You think?" the doctor raised an eyebrow.

"Well we got into a fight Friday night and he left without a word. I haven't heard from him since."

It was the doctor's turn to cringe this time. "Do you mind if I ask what the fight was about?" Bella stared at him with a blank expression then looked back to the notebook.

She shook her head ever so slightly. "Honestly, this is the 21st century, who names their dog that. Anyway, doc, you have an appointment at four with Spot the dog." He turned around and headed for the back of the building, his booming laughter shaking the windows.

Spot the dog – that really was in poor taste, unless it was a Dalmatian, than that was pathetic. I slinked away into the shadows of the buildings and made my way back to my tent where I would waste away the hours with books. I wonder how long Esme was planning on keeping me away from the rest of the family.

I spent the next two days with my nose in my new books. Why I had grabbed a cookbook I didn't know, curiosity maybe? Human food is so disgusting.

'_EDWARD!'_

My head shot up from my current book and looked to the side of the tent. Was that Jasper?

"Git yur ass out here, NOW!"

Yep, it was Jasper, his southern drawl was seeping out. I put my book down on the floor of the tent and made my way outside. As soon as I set foot out of the tent I was knocked in the side and hurled into the nearest tree.

"What kind of an idiot are you? Do you have any ider what yur partin' is doin' to Bella?" Jasper pressed his arm onto my neck cutting off my airway, not that I needed oxygen. "We're gone one week and you destroy yur lives. Why, damn it, how could you leave 'er like that?"

I hissed when he let me see the images of him and Alice visiting Bella's earlier today and she refused to see them. Saying she didn't feel like seeing any Cullens just yet. I glanced over Jasper's back to his pixie wife and she was glaring at me with miserable eyes.

"She wanted something I couldn't give her," I hissed at Jasper when he tightened his hold around my neck.

"And what was that pray tell? Was it so terrible that you had to break er heart instead of giving it to 'er?" his eyes were black from rage. I knew he was fond of Bella but I didn't realize till now just how much.

"You mean your wife didn't tell you," I growled and nodded my head toward Alice.

"Edward, the last vision I had of the two of you was getting pretty heated so I focused my mind elsewhere, wanting to give you some privacy. I swear I had no idea that things were going to turn out like this. You need to go back to her, apologize and love her even more than you do now," Alice was pleading with ever fiber of her being. Her hands were clasped together like she was praying, begging to me.

I turned my gaze away from her into the dense forest surrounding us. "I can't, I can't risk hurting her if I loose myself while making love. It would kill me. She should be with someone who can't hurt her." Before I could turn my attention back to Alice I felt a fist slam into my jaw and it sent me flying to the ground.

Jasper was grinding his teeth and his breathing was labored. "If you think Bella will just sleep with the next guy that asks 'er than you don't know Bella as well as you claim to. Bella's love for you runs deep, possibly even deeper than yurs are for 'er." My eyes widened, how could that be, vampire feeling were even more intense than a humans and don't change very easily. "If the only thing holding you back from paradise is yur fear of a bruise or two or you think she'll get scared than you don't deserve her. Bella is tougher than you give her credit for." His accent was starting to lighten up.

"Just think about it for awhile. But don't take too long or Bella will become broken beyond repair." Alice said in a low voice then Jasper led her way toward the house. "And by the way, there are human women out there that are hurt or even killed by their human counterparts, so why would a human and vampire relationship be any different?" _'I bet even if you were human you would still be like this.'_

Why didn't anyone get it? Oh right, they didn't have to worry about accidentally killing their mates. Even if I didn't hurt Bella, who was to say my monster wouldn't emerge and Bella would become frightened, and then regret that she had given me her virginity. I think that last thought scared me even more than me hurting her. To see the fear, regret and pain in her eyes as she thought of me as a demon was more painful than if I had bruised her.

I would stay away, be patient, and see if she can move on to a normal live. If she did maybe it would prove that this 'ultimate soulmate' stuff was phony. That whole idea was just too perfect for a monster like me.

* * *

**_Chapter End Notes:_**

Sorry if this chapter or Edward's thinking didn't make much sense. It sounded right in my head but I couldn't figure out how to explain it. SM's version didn't really make sense to me either, stupid, self-loathing, brooding vampire. Not sure how I did with Jasper's accent either.

FYI: Edward will not be going to South America like he did in NM so everyone can breathe easy again.

Next chapter if Bella's point of view. Oh, a little hint, Bella's chapter titles will be only one word like in daybreak, Edward's will be longer.

So how bad is this chapter, please, be gentle.


	5. Liar

**I don't own anything Twilight. The idea of Bella being a mind reader is mine and a few events. Everything else belongs to Stephenie Meyers. No copyright infringement intended. Nearly all my chapters have mild language, mainly name calling.**

**FYI: I will not be doing any more accents. I've received yea/nah about Jasper's accent in the last chapter. If Jasper gets mad I'll keep him calm enough that his accent stays put away.**

** Sorry the format looks funny and different from my other stories. I've been having some major trouble with my chapters not loading right or not loading at all. This was the only way I could get this out to you, please understand. As soon as I get the problem fixed I'll fix this chapter to look right.  
**

**Chapter 5: Liar**

7 days. 168 hours. 10,080 minutes. 604,800 seconds.

However you look at it, it's still been a week. One whole freakin' week since Edward flew out his bedroom window and left me half naked on the floor. I know he loves me and wants to be with me, I just couldn't wrap my head around his no intimacy rule.

I had been told about the family in Alaska where they frequently have male 'friends' over for some X-rated entertainment and no one died. So that proves it, a joining of a human and a vampire was indeed possible.

Edward constantly feared that he would hurt me if he lost control. I for one didn't believe that. He was always so careful when touching me. He was so scared of hurting me that there was no possible way that I would get hurt by him. I just wished he would see that.

After a week I still hadn't seen or heard from Edward. Was he avoiding me? Had he broken up with me? Had our fight last Friday been too much for him? Did he honestly believe I would jump into bed with someone else? What kind of girl did he think I was? If he thought I was one of those fickle, fly-by-night girls, he's sadly mistaken.

I went to work like normal on Thursday and Friday but now I had Saturday all by myself, Charlie having gone fishing for the weekend. Now that I was alone I was left to let my mind wonder, and that wasn't a good thing. While alone the depression, self-pity, and self-hatred seeped into my body.

I curled up in my bed and remained there for the day, not wanting to do anything or see anyone, all I wanted was Edward.

I vaguely remember hearing Alice and Jasper outside my house but told them I wasn't ready to see any Cullens yet. I was surprised when I didn't hear anything else out of them. Had they actually left me alone?

It was very early on Sunday morning when I finally pulled myself from the bed, feeling completely miserable. I had grown used to falling asleep in Edward's arms so this last week I hadn't gotten very much sleep, very little in fact.

I practically crawled my way into the bathroom and climbed into the shower. I stood in the shower letting the jets of hot water beat on my back, hoping to loosen my nerves and maybe wash away some of my concerns. The water started to chill and I jumped out of the shower quickly, nearly falling in the process. I didn't want anything cold on my body unless it was Edward._ Anything_ else felt like cheating.

Now that I was dried and clothed I stood in front of my bedroom mirror. I looked like hell! Well you would too if the love of your life rejected you and then disappeared for the last week. My complexion was paler and tired and I had bags under my eyes from lack of sleep. For lack of a better comparison, I looked like the walking dead. Ironic that I would currently looked like the walking dead due to a walking dead asshole.

As I stared at my depressing reflection there were three things I became certain of. One – Edward still loved me. Two – apparently he was scared of sex. Three – he was a liar that breaks promises.

I distinctly remember him promising me while in the Cancun hospital that he would never leave me. For his sake he had better just need some time to think.

I straightened myself up to look at least a little decent. I needed to make some apologies and Carlisle needed to check on my hand anyway. I pulled my phone out and hit the speed dial for Alice. The phone hadn't even rung when I heard her on the other side of the line.

"I'm on my way. I'll be there in three and a half minutes." Then the phone went dead.

Stubborn all-seeing fairy. I ran down the stairs, slipping on the last two then went to the kitchen and inhaled a granola bar then waited for Alice to arrive. Like clockwork, I heard the familiar hum of the Volvo pull up to the house. Was Edward over his tantrum?

I sprang out the front door eager to finally see Edward after a whole week. I felt every muscle in my body sag.

_'Sorry, it's just me,'_ the look on Alice's face was sad and apologetic.

I shrugged my shoulders nonchalantly as I walked over to the passenger side of the Volvo and slid in. "It's alright. If he wants some alone time then he'll get it. I'm just glad that all of you didn't dump me as well."

Alice snapped her head toward me. "Bella, Edward didn't dump you, he just…just needs time to think."

I kept my eyes focused on the road before us as Alice pealed away toward her house. "If Jasper left you in the middle of the night, scantly clothed and didn't contact you for a week, what would you call it?"

She tilted her head to the side as if to agree with me. "Before or after I kicked his ass?"

"At least you're capable of doing physical damage, I'm not." I held up my bandaged arm to emphasize my point. "I tried and look where it got me."

We turned onto the Cullens long driveway. "By the way Alice, if this is what you saw happening that night you left, I'm never betting on you again."

She stopped the car in front of the house and turned her sad eyes toward me, she looked about ready to cry. "Actually, I didn't. I saw you wearing the outfit I left for you to wear and things were getting pretty heated so I opted out of the vision to give you two some privacy. I'm sorry things turned so sour."

I watched as she exited the car and started toward the house. She stopped and looked at me quizzically, wondering why I was still seated in the car.

_'Aren't you coming in?'_ she mentally asked as she neared the Volvos door and opened it.

"Is Edward in his room?" I don't know why I was whispering, everyone within a mile could hear me. And I definitely didn't know why the thought of seeing Edward right now scared me – maybe it was the thought of more rejection that I feared.

She looked off toward the house with a remorseful glance. "Um, no, he's not. He mentioned that we should leave…so, Esme kicked him out."

"SHE KICKED HIM OUT!" I knew my eyes were huge as I stared up at her in shock and Alice nodded shyly. "Why?" Alice pulled me out of the car and dragged me into the house. "We all know that Edward loves you dearly so for him to separate the two of you is insanity. Esme refused to give into his foolish whim. She also refuses to lose a daughter because her son is being pig-headed."

"Bella, how is your hand feeling?" I looked up to see Carlisle strolling down the stairs toward me.

"Like I hit a marble wall but it's been feeling much better." The corner of his mouth and an eyebrow twitched upward.

"Yes well, you'll think twice before hitting a marble wall again won't you?" he chided me as he held my hand gently and examined the healing process.

"Unless he's a jerk again."

Carlisle sighed and rewrapped the brace. "I hate to agree but he most definitely deserved to be hit after the comment he made. If you hadn't hit him when you did I'm sure Esme would have." He smirked and had a very interesting thought as he walked away. _'I suggest the next time Edward is being an ass you find a hard object to hit him with.'_

"Thank you Carlisle, I think." I looked at his back oddly as he retreated into his study, some father figure, giving his son's girlfriend advice on how she should hurt him.

"Bella?" Alice's voice whispered from around the living room corner that led to the kitchen. I hadn't even noticed that she left the room.

"Alice?" she was being unusually shy with me and it almost scared me. Alice was never shy around me, which set off a red light – she was afraid to say something to me. "What do you want to say?"

She walked up to me surprisingly slow and her head was touching her chest. "Bella, I think you should call Edward."

Her words shocked and blindsided me and the words spilled out of my mouth sharply. "Why should I call him? He's the liar that broke his promise, not me. I did nothing wrong unless loving a vampire is wrong, which he has made clear that it was wrong last Friday when he left me alone half naked." Jasper had walked into the room innocently but hearing my last two words spun on his heels and retreated the way he came quickly. My irritation probably wasn't helping him either. "Was there a specific reason you want _me_ to call him?"

Alice was speechless and dumbfounded. _'He broke a promise? That doesn't sound like Edward.' _Her eyes started to dart around the room. "Bella, I didn't know about the promise. What's it about?"

"You mean you didn't see?" she shook her head no and looked up with pleading eyes. I folded my arms across my chest as I started to feel uncomfortable. "It doesn't matter anymore. It was stupid of me to ask him to promise that, it was just a far-fetched dream." I started walking toward the front door and spook to her in a low voice. "I'll text him if you can drive me home."

Alice was obviously sad as she drove me back to Charlie's. Not one word was said, she didn't even ask what I had wrote when I texted Edward. She pulled in front of Charlie's and I literally fell out of the car onto the semi-dry ground.

Alice was staring at me curiously as I got back to my feet. _'What happened to the grace?'_

I shrugged simply and headed for the house. I waved at Alice as she waited for me to go inside. "I guess it left me too…" I mumbled under my breath but I should have known the vampire ears could hear it. Alice winced visibly and waved back sadly before turning around and heading for home.

Just a few more hours till I could go to bed, and hopefully I would have a dreamless rest. If this last week had taught me anything it was that I wasn't that lucky.

The dream had started off great. I was wrapped in Edward's arms on my bed, both of us completely content. I leaned up to kiss Edward and he quickly sprang out of bed. After muttering something I couldn't hear he leapt out my window.

I awoke like that for the last ten nights in a row. It was always in a different place but the situation was always the same.

I sat up and stared at my clock, it was seven in the morning. Two hours till work. I grabbed my phone off the bedside table and checked to see if I had any new messages, none. I then back-tracked to the messenger and reread what I had sent to Edward just last night.

**_How could you lie to my face like that?_**

Wonder how long it would take him to figure out what I meant? Well, I hadn't received a reply so he must not have figured it out yet. It shouldn't take him too long since the other lies I knew from him had already been cleared up, like his real identity.

I guess I can't sit here all day feeling sorry for myself. If Edward is _so_ concerned with my humanity then I'll carry on being a human while I can and go to work.

I was so glad that the clinic was just down the street, which meant I could walk there and didn't need a car or a ride. I sighed heavily as I threw on a pair of jeans and a plain green tee shirt. I guess I would have to find me a car soon since my chauffer flaked out on me.

The walk to work was unusually sunny and warm. Guess the Cullens aren't coming outside today.

I walked into the clinic and was greeted warmly by the vet Kurt. I was surprised how quickly I had taken to this job and how much I actually enjoyed it, except on those rare occasions where we needed to euthanize a beloved family pet. During slow times I was asked to handle some of the better animals, and sometimes I could even play with them. This was a job I never expected to like but over the short time I had been here I was falling in love with it and the animals. The doctor would even bring his pet corgi into the office frequently. Gracie, the corgi, was very well behaved and she adored me, and despite the company I kept the scent of vampires didn't scare her.

Today was different though, no Gracie, no recovering animals, just boredom. I was sitting at the desk doodling on a corner of some paper waiting for the doc's two o'clock to show up.

I very nearly feel over in my chair when the door burst open suddenly and in walked a rotund man wearing a flannel jacket and was fairly scruffy looking, he was breathing heavily and looked panicked.

"Kurt, get out here," the man hollered over me to get the doctors attention, which was already on his way out upon hearing the door opening so violently.

"Jim, what are you doing? Why are you yelling and breathing so heavily?" I watched as the doctor nearly ran to his friend and grabbed him by the shoulders to steady him.

"GIANT DOGS…there were giant dogs in the forest…they were the size of a bear…they were huge…." Jim's breathing was rushed and his eyes were enormous as he told the doctor his story. "Jim, have you been drinking?" doctor Kurt asked with a raised eyebrow.

"No, I wasn't drinking. I saw them, three of them." Jim was pacing back and forth across the lobby being frustrated. _'I did have a drink but not till I was out of the forest.'_

"Bella, you can take the rest of the day off. I'll see you on Thursday," he glanced over his shoulder as he spoke to me then turned his attention back to his panicked friend.

I quickly punched out and left the office. Giant dogs in the forest, really? What next, big hairy men with large feet? It was still early in the day and for once it was nice out so I decided to take the long way home and walk around on the streets of Forks.

I had walked several streets simply enjoying the warm sunshine. As if drawn, I glanced around the neighborhood and noticed a large pile covered with a tarp. A weathered hand-printed _FOR SALE, AS IS_ sign leaned against the pile. I strolled over casually and lifted a corner of the tarp and I felt a smile grow from ear to ear.

I looked up to see one of the Marks boys that I recognized from one of my classes last year step out the front door. "Bella Swan?" _'What, why, how's my hair…?'_

"How much for the bikes?" I asked with a smile.

"Seriously? They don't work." _'What in the world would she want with the bikes?'_

"That's alright I have a good mechanic," it was true, he was a good mechanic. He had rebuilt the engine in my truck before it was murdered last winter. "How much?"

"If you really want them, just take them. I'll even help you get them home."

"Really? Thank you that would be great. I'm actually taking them down to La Push though, is that okay?" I was in shock that things were working out so well.

"Sure, if it will make my mom happy that they're gone I'll take them to Seattle for you." We both chuckled at his comment then we loaded them up in the back of his Dodge pick-up. _'Mom will be so happy these things are gone. That stupid old man of mine and his even dumber mid-life crisis.'_ In a few minutes we were heading down to La Push.

The second we pulled up to the little red house and turned off the engine Jacob was walking toward us. He had grown maybe six inches since I saw him last and he seemed to have filled out. Was he eating Miracle-Gro or something?

"Bella? I'm surprised to see you here," he looked me over then wrapped me in a strong powerful hug. _'Wow, why in the world is she here? I figured she'd be spending her time with her boyfriend this summer.'_

"Jake, air…" he released me quickly and took a step back.

"Sorry," he mumbled then looked at the truck I had arrived in. _'What's under the tarp?'_

"I brought you a project slash present. If you can get them working you can have one, the other I have plans for. If not, then you could have parts for some future project." I pulled the tarp back over the bikes to reveal them to Jacob's full gaze.

"Holy crap Bella, you bought some motorcycles?" Jacob ran for the truck and started to lift them from the bed. _'What plan could she have with a motor bike besides ride it?'_

"Not exactly – careful, they're…heavy," before I could finish saying the last word Jacob already had the one sitting on the ground. "Damn Jake, I think you need to lay off the steroids."

He snickered as he pulled the other bike from the truck then started to push them into his makeshift garage. I thanked the boy, I think his name was Brandon but wasn't sure, and he left for home. I then followed after Jacob, eager to find out if the bikes would run again.

I desperately needed something to occupy my mind and if Jake could get the bikes working properly I knew exactly what do with the spare. Riding it up Edward's ass flashed in my mind but it was quickly extinguished by its true purpose and the joy it would bring.

* * *

**_Chapter End Notes:_**

Can you really blame Bella for snapping at Alice or sending that text to Edward? Due to popular demand I'm including the bikes, and of course there will be several twists involving them.

*****HELP***** My aunt told me about a twi-fic and I'm really interested in reading it, problem is she can't remember the title, only some of the story. Bella is from Volterra and later meets the Cullens. Irina and 2 or 3 other vamps kidnap Bella for revenge (not sure why) and take her to the Volturi to deal with her. But Irina and Co. don't know that Bella is like a princess to the Volturi. Bella and Felix are best friends.

She can't remember the ending or if its completed or what the pairings were. Please help me if you can. You'll get a huge thank you annocement in my next chapter if I can find the right story. PLEASE HELP ME!!!

--------

Unfortunatly I haven't found the right story yet. (02/11/10)

I was told about "Bella Volturi" byiLoveTwilight4evz, its cute but not it.

"Shields of Power" by thunderful, awesome story, close but not right.

"Shism" by another great read, and I'm only 1/2 way through it but I'm afraid that isn't it either.

My aunt sent me more info on what she remembers of the fic, maybe it will help:

_I believe it was Edward left...Bella got  
turned...became one of the volturi...came back to Forks...met up with the  
cullins...is still pissed at Edward... gets kidnapped by either Irinna or  
Victoria and friends...is taken back to volturi by them as they dont know her  
connection to the volturi. One of the vamps has a power to physically make you  
do what she wants. when the cullins show up Bella and Felix are sitting on the  
castle wall and Edward "rescues" her from Felix. Went through over a thousand  
story summeries and cant find the story._

I'm afraid with all the reading she's been doing all the stories are staring to run together._  
_


	6. The Green Eyed Monster

I don't own anything Twilight. The idea of Bella being a mind reader is mine and a few events. Everything else belongs to Stephenie Meyers. No copyright infringement intended. Nearly all my chapters have mild language, mainly name calling.

**Chapter 6: The Green-Eyed Monster**

These last ten days had been the most boring, the most mind-numbing, and the most dead I had ever lived through in all my 104 years on this earth. Moreover, all of my dull mundane life changed because of an angelic klutzy human girl. Why could an innocent being such as her be so devotedly in love with a bloodthirsty monster?

In nearly 90 years I had never felt more truly frozen than when I had flipped open my cell phone to read the text message from Bella. I was expecting 'I love you' or 'I miss you' or maybe a 'Come back', but what I received was far from what I was expecting. The venom in my veins turned to ice as I read each word over and over again.

**How could you lie to my face like that? **

How had I lied to her? I thought she knew everything about me, I certainly told her the truth about anything when she asked. What lie is she talking about?

I was musing over the possibilities on a stump outside my tent when someone broke through my thinking.

'_I come in peace…'_

I sighed heavily at the tiny inner voice of my sister. "What Alice?"

The small sprite of a girl poked her head out from around a tree and tiptoed daintily towards me then plopped down on the forest floor before me.

'_I know you probably think it's a bad idea but you need to come home. Bella is beyond miserable. She's falling, dropping things, hitting things, I think its actually worse than before you two started dating.'_

"Alice, you know I can't and she'll adapt." Alice went silent and her eyes glazed over slightly in a vision. The images of a pale listless Bella falling because of air, walking into doorframes, dropping dishes, getting numerous paper-cuts, having several bruises on her arms and legs made me cringe. "Is that what's to come?"

"NO, that's now!" Alice crossed her arms over her chest and glared at me. _'In only eleven days you have managed to take a beautiful, graceful woman and turn her into a dull numb shell just by being away from her.'_

God, even away, I destroy her life without meaning to. I hope that soon she'll find someone who can make her smile again. Before I could even bat an eyelash, I found myself lying on the ground on my back and Alice was straddling me, pummeling me with all the strength she had.

"DAMN IT EDWARD! DO YOU HONESTY WANT HER TO MOVE ON, TO GIVE HER SMILES, HER KISSES, HER CARESSES TO SOMEONE ELSE?" the look on her face was life shattering, if she could cry she would be, the look in her eyes would have made me cry. _'She's already starting to smile a little more due to someone else.'_

She's starting to smile again, so she is moving on without me. I felt my heart sink into my stomach and I could have sworn I was going to be sick.

'_You're fooling yourself if you think this separation is better for her.'_ She showed me another image and I could tell this was a live viewing, not a vision. Alice had been sitting in a tree outside Bella's window when it started. Bella began to toss and turn in her bed then she started to scream and moan in agony, then there was a very distinct _"Edward, don't go!"_

I turned my head to the side so I didn't have to look at Alice. I was screwed no matter what I did, but this decision was the lesser of two evils.

"Her screaming like that was just last night. She maybe smiling more but at night it's a completely different story. It pains me terribly when I'm away from Jasper for more than a few hours because we are soulmates. Because of the fact that you and Bella are ultimate soulmates, she is literally dieing inside," the look from Alice was now remorseful. "And you said she couldn't act. She does incredibly well during the day, no one knows about your separation and her pain, but we know the truth. She told Charlie you're in Alaska helping friends and that's why you're not around."

Why was she lying about the separation? Was she hoping I would come back soon and all would be as it was? I needed to get away, to do some more thinking. I stood up and headed for the tree line to the north. "Alice, go home, I need to think."

I saw her mouth open to protest but I ignored her and took off running. _'Whatever you need to think about be quick about it.'_

I ran full bore toward the one place I knew I could be close to Bella without worrying. The small animal path that led to the magical field in the middle of the forest was narrow and almost invisible to the untrained eye. I burst through the tree line into the meadow and immediately fell to my knees. There was no more enchanting atmosphere or charming violet flowers or supernatural chime of the waterfall. It was as if I had stumbled into a dreary field for farming. Everything that I had found endearing to this place was gone – I had destroyed all of it.

By casting Bella aside like I had I had also ruined everything else that had held some meaning in my monotonous life.

But how could I ever return to Bella now? She wanted something I could never give her and she wanted something else I could never give her without giving her the other thing. How in the world could a sweet and innocent human girl be willing to give a monster her virginity – her soul? Could her love for me be that strong, that she could look past what I truly was?

I fell backwards onto the parched grasses and leaves and stared up at the sparsely clouded sky. I watched as the clouds floated by on a slight breeze and I did something I never have before, I tried to find shapes in the clouds. I know it's kind of a cliché but I really did find a rabbit, I also found a dog, an apple and a pair of hearts. Was I being mocked by the clouds now? The two fluffy white and silver hearts seemed to press closely in on each other, symbolic of Bella and myself. The winds picked up minutely and the two hearts were ripped apart, oh the irony.

Why did everyone and everything have to plot against me and ridicule me? I rolled over onto my side and let the self-loathing take over. The despair started to wash over me like a wave in this dreary field I had once called enchanting. I no longer had a special place I could escape to and just be alone with my own thoughts anymore. No matter where I went I would be reminded of Bella is some way or another.

I rolled back onto my back and stared up at the darkening sky, the clouds were rolling in and they were an ugly grayish green color. I guess it was time to head back to my tent of loneliness.

Loneliness I had brought on myself. I realize I had handled this whole intimacy thing wrongly. I could have just told her not yet, instead I accused her only wanting sex and to go to someone else. I slammed my head into a large sequoia tree on the way back and it shook profusely under the impact.

Everyone said I thought too much and I was an idiot, it was quickly becoming apparent that they were right. Despite how stupid I was or how much I used my brain, nothing could change my mind about putting Bella in danger, and even a chance that I could do her physical harm turned my stomach.

I would merely be her guardian, watch her from afar, and keep her safe from all creatures that go bump in the night – including myself.

I had spent the rest of the night lying on the floor of my tent staring up at the roof of the dome fantasizing about my life with Bella over the last several months, the glances, the touches, the kisses, the words. Everything had been going perfectly, everything had seemed so right between us, and then I blew it. I lifted my head up off the ground then slammed it back down on the ground – hard.

I had completely, single handedly messed up my life, and Bella's all because she groped me. What kind of moron am I? I shook my head from side to side and sighed, I knew the answer to that question. For the first time in my long life, I had been terrified and I overreacted and shoved Bella away and now she was starting to smile again and it wasn't due to me.

I couldn't take it anymore! I sprang to my feet and ran from the tent at full speed. I was going to apologize to my angel profusely, grovel if I had to, beg her to forgive me and take me back. The sky was quickly turning to a dusty rose color as the sun climbed higher and higher behind the clouds.

In a few short minutes I was standing in front of Bella's house, I paused for a moment then knocked on the door, nothing. I waited in complete silence and there was no heartbeat within the abode. I swiftly pulled out my phone and press the speed-dial for Bella. As soon as it started ringing I heard the song 'Poison' playing from somewhere nearby. I tracked the ring-tone to Bella's room and saw her phone lying on her bed, alone. She had forgotten her phone in her haste to leave for her location. Where had she gone in such a hurry?

I quickly directed my phone to call Alice and she picked up before the first ring had started.

"Edward?" her voice was full of concern and slightly curious.

"Is Bella with you?" I asked her bluntly.

"No, she's down in La Push, she borrowed the Volvo." She let Bella go down to that dangerous place. I could almost hear her rolling her eyes over the phone. "And don't start on about it being dangerous. There have been no signs of unusually large dogs in my visions, she's safe. Why are you calling anyways, I thought you were leaving Bella alone to keep her safe?"

I growled loudly as I made my way out of Bella's bedroom and was about to close my phone when Alice hollered at me. "WAIT, if you're that worried, she's going to the movies in P.A. tonight with a bunch of other kids."

"Thanks," I hung up the phone, sprinted into the woods, and waited for dark, which was when Bella preferred to go to the movies.

Just before nightfall, I changed into a pair of nicer clothes then ran for Port Angeles. I stayed to the darker corners of the town so Bella wouldn't know I was here unless Alice had said something to her. In a way, I was lucky that Port Angeles had only one theater so it made it incredibly easy to locate her.

Upon smelling her scent on the light breeze, all my senses became hyperaware. My ears and lungs immediately tuned into her heartbeat and breathing, while I could taste her lovely aroma of strawberries on my tongue. I peeked around the corner I had been hiding in and saw the company Bella was in – it was a rather large group consisting of Angela and Ben, Jess and Mike, that Jacob boy and two of his friends.

I felt an overpowering growl creep its way up my chest as I watched a smile emerge on her beautiful lips as she walked to the counter to buy the tickets. The boy Jacob teased her about being able to get all the grease off her skin and she laughed. I wanted so badly to run up to her and stake my claim to her but I'm sure acting like a Neanderthal would only succeed in making her angry, not to mention that revealing myself would make her aware that I was following her.

My heart clenched and fell to the very furthest recesses of my stomach when I watched Bella stand up on her tiptoes and whisper into Jacob's ear. All I could make out was the word 'Edward'. Had she said something nice about me, at the moment probably not? Was she comparing the two of us, stating how much of a jerk I was? Was she saying she was glad he wasn't Edward? The possibilities were endless and I was having incredible difficulties harnessing the monster that wanted to prove Bella was mine.

I grasped at the brick wall when everyone walked inside and I heard Bella's musical laugh. My fingers dug into the stone and cement as I realized she wasn't laughing due to something _I_ said and the feeling ate away at my frozen insides. How could a mere human cause an immortal being so much pain and she wasn't even aware of the damage she was causing?

Oh right, I let her. I let her into my heart, into my family, into my entire being, she had become my universe and now that she wasn't in my solar system anymore I was completely off my orbit.

For the first time in my unending existence, I cursed my exceptional hearing. Even out here on the streets, I could still hear Bella laughing and giggling and I watched through Mike's eyes at the beauty that was mine. That one word was haunting me all night, mine, mine, MINE! I literally ripped bricks out of the wall as thoughts from others invaded my already distressed mind.

'_Wonder when Edward is supposed to return? Bella doesn't seem right without him.'_ Please help in cheering her up Angela.

'_If Cullen doesn't hurry back I'm going to steal his woman from under him and place her under me.'_ Mike, Bella is going to castrate you for that thought, since I know she heard it.

'_Wonder what Angie wants to do for our six month anniversary.'_ I sighed with relief that someone _wasn't_ thinking about Bella. Ben was whole-heartedly hung-up on Angela, it was almost sickening.

'_Why do I have a feeling that Mike is still hard-up for Bella?'_ Because Jess, he is and Bella's mine.

'_At least Bella's starting to laugh again. Did her boyfriend really just go to Alaska to help friends? Things don't seem right. Wonder how I can get her to put on a genuine smile again, not these fake ones.'_ So Jacob has noticed she's been acting, that boy was very intuitive.

The other two Quileute boys were simply thinking about how funny the movie was and not thinking about the shy girl at the end of the row.

Mike's imagination was running away from him as he tried to stare at Bella and Jacob leaned toward her protectively. '_You won't lay a finger on Bells while I'm around, buddy.'_ That boy was definitely protective of her, like Alice had said, she was safe.

I wonder if this boy was the one Alice told me about that was making Bella smile again. I felt my inside turn circles then rotate in the opposite direction.

Bella was safe and happy, which is what I had wanted for her, so why did it agitate me to no end. Could it be because she was moving on so soon or maybe it was the fact that she _was_ moving on?

I shoved myself off the wall and stalked into the forest behind the theater hoping to calm myself, it didn't work. After going southward for several miles, the only thing that had happened was my anger had increased. Anger at myself for pushing Bella away in the first place, anger for Bella wanting to be intimate with me, anger for not having more self control, and anger that Bella was moving on.

I pushed a tree over and it landed loudly on its side then I growled just as loudly out of frustration. I shoved over about twelve more trees in hope of releasing some of my frustrations, to no avail.

I had set out today to apologize and win Bella back but now, now, I was far from that decision. She seemed content – it was almost like I had never existed in her life at all. If I had to make a choice, I would hope she would be happy with that Jacob kid, heaven forbid it be Mike.

If I had to torture myself in order for her to live a happy life, than bring on the torches.

_

* * *

**Chapter End Notes:**_

I know this chapter is pretty short and I apologize. Many readers have commented that Edward doesn't really seem that hurt over the separation and I'm sorry that my mental ideas aren't typing out accurately. I tried to make him seem more disturbed and bothered in this chapter but it's something I'm not good at describing. If you have followed my stories, you would know that I lean on the comedic side of things not the dreary, I tried and I hope Edward's pain got through a little bit.

Please vote on my poll, it will help me decide on how to write up the last several chapters of FM. On my profile .net/u/411280/#


	7. Friendship

I don't own anything Twilight. The idea of Bella being a mind reader is mine and a few events. Everything else belongs to Stephenie Meyers. No copyright infringement intended. Nearly all my chapters have mild language, mainly name calling.

**Chapter 7: Friendship**

I was surprised that I actually had fun last night. When Mike had a rather perverse thought about me, I could have sworn I heard some stone crumbling somewhere outside the theater. Maybe there was a car accident or maybe some late night demolition or maybe Edward was outside and he heard the wicked thoughts. Yeah, right.

Although everyone's thoughts centering on me was a bit annoying but when Jake threatened Mike – that had made my week. While my attentions were on the movie, he had made the sudden decision to grab my leg. Just as his hand was mere centimeters over my knee, Jake had reached over my lap and grabbed Mike's sneaking hand. Mike had winced in pain when Jake grasped his hand tightly.

Jacob's voice was very gruff and almost animal like as he whispered his warning to Mike. "You never touch another man's girl. She is someone else's girlfriend you should respect that. You're here with a girl and you're hitting on another, what type of guy are you?" He then shoved Mike's hand back toward him, nearly sending him falling from the seat.

I smirked internally at Jake's protectiveness over me and his eagerness to stand up for Edward's claim on me. Mike righted himself in his seat then started to pay full attention to the movie. I sighed in relief and mouthed a 'thank you' to Jacob, he smiled and nodded, and then we went to watching the film again.

We were all laughing at the train wreck of a movie and I was more or less listening to all the thoughts about Edward and me. I was slightly disturbed when Jessica and Mike had both started wondering and hoping that he had dumped me or would soon.

It was true that I felt he had dumped me but everyone had vehemently told me otherwise and that he needed to think. It had been two weeks now and not a word from my missing 'boyfriend'. Had my actions upset him that much? Were we destined to be together but never _together_? Did he not need me as much as I needed him? At this point, I would rather take Edward any way I could get him, than no Edward at all.

Currently, I was driving my borrowed silver Volvo over to the Cullen house. Both Emmett and Rosalie had offered their cars for me to borrow, going on the assumption that with Edward and I being on the outs that I wouldn't want to use his. Talk about funny. His scent was ingrained in this car, if I couldn't see him or talk to him; I at least wanted to smell him. Being in the car and smelling the aroma 'ode to Edward' gave me feeling of hope and security. All I wanted right now was for Edward to be back in my arms.

I was supposed to get my brace off today, which was a good thing because I needed to borrow the computer at their house as well. I'm sure knowing Alice like I did she would help me in preparing Edward's present.

I was a bit excited to work on Edward's gift and I was actually in a good mood for once. When I checked my cell phone this morning, having forgotten it when I left yesterday, I was ecstatic when I saw I had one missed call – from Edward. I was rather pissed that I had missed it but my happiness outweighed the anger.

I arrived and promptly tripped over the first and third step of the porch leading to the front door.

'_Good lord girl, what don't you trip over?'_

"Shut up Emmett, or I _will_ borrow your jeep! Just for recreational purposes of course." I was thrilled when I heard an annoyed hiss echo in the living room. Emmett and Rose had returned from their African trip yesterday and we had all resumed our normal behavior after they had exploded at the knowledge of what their brother had done.

"Ho ho, I guess she knows where to hurt you huh, Emmett?" Jasper started laughing hysterically when Emmett punched him in the shoulder.

"All right children, play nice," I teased them with a genuine yet diminutive smile. The two vampires that sat on the couch playing video games froze and stared intently at me, game forgotten.

'_Did she just smile?'_

'_Well this is a welcome emotion after the last two weeks.'_

"Enjoy it while it's here, I can't guarantee it will last long," I told them before I walked into Carlisle's study and thrust my hand out to him without a word.

He chuckled as he looked up from his papers on the desk. "What happened that you grace us with this cheerfulness? Not that I'm complaining, I'm just very happy to see it after the fiasco a few weeks back." He unstrapped the brace from my hand and examined it with his doctors' eyes. _'Did Edward call her finally? Or better, show up?'_

I felt the smile I once had vanish immediately upon hearing the name of the one that nearly shattered my world. If it weren't for his family, I would be a crushed pile of unrecognizable glass shards. If they had all left when Edward wanted to, they should have just left me with a headstone and burial plot as a going away present.

"No Carlisle, I haven't seen him since he left me, sorry." He winced as he returned the brace to a cabinet.

'_It took me five years to get used to Edward reading my mind, is it going to take another five years?'_ Carlisle sighed then returned to his desk, he then rested his elbows on the desktop and placed his forehead on his palms, his behavior was obviously annoyed. "I still can't believe Edward ran off like that and still hasn't contacted anyone."

I shrugged indifferently trying desperately to hide how hurt I truly was. "Like everyone keeps telling me, he's just thinking." I walked slowly towards the door, not at all eager to live through another day without Edward.

'_I'm sure he is but I thought we raised him better than this. What in the world is he thinking?'_ I heard another heavy sigh behind.

I stopped in the doorway and gripped the frame for support, and then I turned my head slightly toward Carlisle. "You did a fabulous job raising him and I have no idea what he's thinking. Let's just leave him to think."

Carlisle placed his palms on his desk and stood up violently. "Bella…" I didn't let him finish talking and quickly fled the room. _'No matter what he's done, he still loves you. Never forget that.'_

I couldn't deal with someone telling me how much Edward loved me right now. I slowly climbed the stairs, not trusting my returned clumsiness. Maybe Alice was right, maybe I am clumsier now than I was before I meet Edward or maybe I just never realized how bad it was before. I reached the third floor and stood outside Edward's bedroom door, warring with myself to enter or ask for help.

'_Well shoot, I missed the smile,'_ Alice's thought reached me from behind and I could tell she was close. I turned my head to face her and I could feel the tears threatening to fall. I had tried to be strong and brave but seeing my tiny best friend was ruining that bravado. _'I'll go…'_ without any spoken words she slipped into the bedroom and closed the door behind her so I couldn't see in. Within a minute, she had reappeared and handed me the small black object. _'If you would like you can use my computer, I'll leave you to work in peace.'_

I nodded then turned to go into the pixie and general's room. I crossed the room to her desk and pressed the iTouch down on the docking station then sat down. I deliberated for all of three seconds about leaving his original playlists but I wanted to get a message across. After loading iTunes, I quickly navigated over and added my playlist 'Bella' and started adding the music I wanted Edward to hear. Once I had the music in my list I went and selected only 'Bella', no other playlists then synchronized the iTouch.

Once I was happy with how the player was set up, I went in search of Alice, though I didn't have to go far, she was sitting at the bottom of the stairs waiting for me.

"Can I ask you a favor?"

Alice arched an eyebrow at me like I had asked her a stupid question. _'Right, like you really need to ask.'_

"It's called being polite!" I sat down on the step next to her and handed her Edward's present and the iTouch. "Can you give these to Edward tomorrow?"

"Sure but do you really think he deserves a birthday present, considering?" Alice took the gifts from me and eyed them questioningly.

"No he doesn't, but the one gift I bought a while ago, so why let it go to waste. The iTouch has a list of songs that I'm hoping will sink in to that rock hard head of his." Alice giggled upon hearing my comparison of him being stubborn.

'_We can only hope.'_ She clutched the gifts to her chest then smiled at me. "I'll deliver them in the morning. So what are your plans for today?"

I blinked at her in surprise. "You're telling me you don't know?"

Alice tilted her nose upward and narrowed her eyes in annoyance. "I can't see everything all the time. The rest of your day goes black so I'm assuming your planning on going to La Push."

I scoffed at her reasoning then nodded my head. "Then you _do_ know what I was planning today." She twisted her head slightly to better turn her glare on me. "I'm working on a project with Jake."

I quickly covered my ears when she squealed loudly._ 'Oh Bella, it's perfect, he'll love it!'_

"I'm glad you approve. Now I need to go finish it," I stood up and straightened my clothes.

'_Bella, how are you doing, really?'_ I turned on her quickly and was met with a heart-broken and sorrowful expression.

I clasped my hands together and smiled cheerfully. "I'm doing great, never better," my arms then hung lifeless by my side. "If Jasper left you because he feared hurting you how would you feel?"

Her already sad face turned down and looked even more pained. It was becoming obvious that Edward's sudden departure and behavior was taking its toll on everyone in this house. If only he would come back, everything would be better again.

"I need to go to La Push. Promise me you'll give Edward his gifts," without another word or glance to anyone in the house I quickly left.

The longer I was away from Edward the harder it was to cope and make it through a day. His family, my family, my friends in La Push, they were all trying desperately to cheer me up in one way or another.

I gripped the steering wheel tightly as I drove down the highway. Memories of my most recent dreams flooded my mind. The last couple of nights my dreams had morphed from sad, depressing and lonely to erotic, wanton, and lustful. What brought on the change I have no idea? I doubt it was anything I ate, since I had eaten the same things as before and I had never had dreams like those.

Not that I was complaining, Edward had always starred in my dreams. There was just one problem with my nighttime fantasies. Every night Edward would pleasure me with his fingers and tongue, but not once, had he allowed me to pleasure him, he would stop me then take over, and not once had he actually made love to me. Therefore, I guess you could interpret it as a nightmare.

However, if that was any hint as to what the future held and that was the only way I could get close to him then I would take it, no questions asked. A life with Edward was much better than a life without him. I'm not sure how much longer I could remain sane knowing he was so close but refused to see me.

I pulled up to the little red house and cut the engine just before I slammed my hands onto the steering wheel as hard as I could. My frustration with my boyfriend was seeping through and his Volvo was getting the brunt of it.

"Whoa, easy Bells! What did the car do to you?" _'She is definitely in a bad mood.'_ Jake slowly inched toward the driver side of the car and I tried to hide the glare I felt on my face. _'Hope she didn't get into a fight with her boyfriend.'_

I took a few deep breaths to calm myself before exiting the car. "Hi Jake, how are the bikes coming?"

'_Did I miss something? She seems fine now,'_ he stepped up to me and rested his arm on my head as I started walking toward his makeshift garage, considering he was over six feet tall now it was easy. "I think I'm almost done actually. Just a few more tweaks here and there and a couple more analyses and we'll be able to see if they'll run or not."

"Awesome! Now stop using me as an arm rest!" I shoved away from him and nearly tripped over my own two feet. I walked quickly toward the garage so we could get started on the bikes and find out where their destinies lied – on the road or in a wrecking yard.

"Hey Bella?" I turned to look at him and tripped on the flat ground then fell over backward and landed on my already bruised backside. Jacob winced and hissed when he saw me go down "never mind." _'I knew she was clumsy but never this clumsy. I thought age was supposed to improve your agility?'_

I glared and growled at him as I got to my feet and brushed off the dirt.

'_Did she just growl at me?'_ he arched an eyebrow at me then slowly walked around my side, keeping his eyes on me as he skirted around the edge of his yard.

I cringed at his thought and made a mental note to yell at Emmett for growling too much around me – it was starting to rub off. I thrust my nose in the air and continued toward the garage. "Well I'm going to work on the bikes. If you don't want something broken I suggest you join me to prevent that from happening."

'_Right!'_ Jacob quickly took up step next to me as we entered the makeshift garage and started to assemble the motorbikes.

We had spent a good portion of the day tinkering on the bikes, making them looking better – almost like motorcycles again. At around five o'clock, I dismissed myself so I could return home and make dinner before Charlie got there.

I quickly made up the Chicken Marinara and left it in the stove waiting for serving, and then I went around the house picking up random object and putting them in their proper place. I had just started a load of laundry when Charlie arrived and I went into the kitchen to dish up our plates.

Charlie complained about some idiotic hikers going missing this afternoon and they had spent most of the day searching for them, with no results, they'll continue the search tomorrow.

After dinner was finished and the kitchen cleaned, I said goodnight to Charlie. I slowly maneuvered my way up the stairs, since I had become clumsy again and promptly finished my nighttime routine. I crawled into my twin-sized bed that now felt excessively large since I've been sleeping alone and tried to remember the day I spent with Edward in the meadow.

I opened my eyes to see the blue sky above me and I felt a chilly hand wrap around my ribs. I glanced over to my side to see Edward sparkling next to me, his eyes a deep onyx full of lust.

He leaned over and started to kiss and lick at my neck. The exquisite sensation was causing my body to react on its own. I let my eyes flutter shut and my back instinctively arched upward. His hand immediately shot down and pushed my hips down to the ground and his lips and tongue started to travel south of my collarbone. I was extremely shocked when his fingers started to play and massage my clit. I couldn't keep myself from moaning at the immense pleasure he was creating within my body.

He rendered me breathless when one of his long fingers entered me in a way that I would ever only allow the privilege to_ him_. In only a few quick thrusts, my body quivered in an overwhelming ecstasy.

I opened my eyes to look at my sparkling angel and was grace with an unexciting green ceiling. I groaned unhappily and tears started to roll over my cheeks. I rolled on to my side and curled up into a tight ball, and then I cried myself to sleep, yet again.

The next morning was dark and gloomy and naturally Forks. It wasn't raining but the thick clouds covering the sky made everything under it dark and lifeless.

I glanced over to my alarm clock to see that it was only eight in the morning. Charlie had left for work about half an hour ago. I rolled on to my back to gaze up at my boring ceiling and debate the idea of going back to sleep. I had just convinced myself to sleep some more when my cell phone buzzed annoyingly.

I so have to get Jake a new ringtone. I reached over, grabbed my phone, and held it meekly to my face, still half-asleep. "Hey Jake, what's up this early?"

"They're done!"

He was too chipper for eight in the morning and it was disconcerting. "What's done?" I asked through a yawn.

"The bikes you goof-ball," Jake scoffed into the phone as if I should have know what he was talking about, right, not this early.

"What, really," I nearly fell out of bed in my haste to sit up.

"Yes really," Jake snickered loudly. "Want to go out and see how well they ride?"

"Sure, I'll be right over." I shut the phone then sprang from the bed and slammed into the doorframe while I was hurrying to the bathroom. I did my normal stuff then returned to my room and quickly through on some clothes. The total time it took me between hanging up the phone and driving toward La Push – seven minutes.

Ten minutes later, I was pulling up to the old reddish house and sprinted for the garage. Jacob was inside filling them with gasoline when I entered.

"Grab the other one," he pointed to the reddish/brown bike as he started to push the black one out of the garage and toward his dad's truck.

"We're taking Billy's truck? Is he okay with that?" I asked a little surprised.

Jacob scoffed then lifted the black bike into the back of the truck. "I told him I was planning on looking for firewood and he said go ahead, just stay on the rez since I don't have my license yet."

He quickly turned and picked up the reddish bike and deposited it in the truck next to the black one. After we made sure things wouldn't move around much from bumps and holes, we climbed into the cab of the truck. I drove while Jake gave me directions down the back roads and eventually into the forest.

He led us to an older paved road that no one ever came here anymore because it was out so far. We exited the truck and I watched in awe as Jake lifted the bikes from the bed effortlessly. He went over to the red bike and tried to start it. He kicked down on the starter about six times before it sputtered to life.

"Wanna ride?" _'This should be interesting if she says yes.'_

I threw my arms up in an attempt to say no. "No, I'll just watch to see if it works." Jake shrugged his shoulders then started down the road with no problems. It was as if he had ridden a motorcycle before…a lot.

"It's a little rough but not bad, considering." _'Wonder what she's planning on doing with it?'_ he turned it off then walked toward the black machine.

After only four kicks, it roared to life, no sputtering even. He rode it down the road a ways then turned around and came back. He stopped in front of me with an enormous smile that reached ear to ear.

'_This is so awesome! I'm glad she found them._' He hopped of the bike then took two long strides toward me and wrapped me in his arms tightly as he spun me around in a circle. "Thanks Bells, this is a great birthday gift."

I giggled for about three seconds then patted his shoulder to let me down. Once my feet were on the ground I walked over to the reddish bike and scanned the dirt, grease, and dents that it was sporting.

"Do you think you can tune it and make it look better?" I glanced at him with hopeful eyes.

He arched an eyebrow at my question. "You wound me. Do you think I _can't_ fix it up? What do you have in store for it anyway?" He leaned over and gave me a cheesy grin. "Is it a gift for your boyfriend?" _'Bet it is!'_

I scoffed at his obvious but wrong question. "Heck no, he would have a conniption if he even knew I had it. It's for another friend of mine." The look on Jake's face now looked disappointed.

"Didn't you say yesterday that today was his birthday? Isn't he at least returning to celebrate with you?" _'He has to return for at least the day right?' _he reminded me of a puppy begging for a bone when he let his eyes sag and his bottom lip stick out.

I closed my eyes in an attempt to hide the pain I was feeling as it snaked its way through my body at the innocent reminder of my absent love. I opened my eyes again and headed for the truck as Jake started to load up the bikes. "Yes today is his birthday and I don't think I'll be seeing him. He's still trying to figure out some things."

'_He may not be with her on his birthday, but he had better be here on her birthday or I'll drag his butt back here.'_

I winced at the violent tone in his thought and quickly climbed into the cab of the Dodge. I would pay good money to see a 16-year-old boy dragging a 105-year-old vampire back by the scruff of the neck, even if the boy was bulkier, there was no way it could be done.

Jake climbed into the truck next to me and we started down the road back to his house. For the most part, we were silent, vocally anyway – Jake's mind on the other hand was very active with thoughts about me and my boyfriend.

'_What is so important that he can stay away from Bella for so long? It had better be a DAMN good reason – she looks like shit because he's gone. I'm glad she's been spending so much time with me now but there is seriously something wrong. It's almost as if she and her boyfriend have a relationship from the legends, what was it called again – imprinting? She's falling apart without him. Hasn't his family told him what Bella is like right now? Hasn't he called her at all? It's almost as if they broke up, but why would Bella lie about something like that and say he's helping friends?'_

I really have to practice blocking people's thoughts. Even if they don't mean any harm, their thoughts can be damaging. I felt a tear escape my left eye and I fought to end anymore-stray droplets from fleeing.

I slammed on the breaks when I say one of the Quileute boys jump from a cliff. "What the hell are they doing?"

Jake doubled over in laughter, clenching his stomach tightly. "It's okay Bella – they're just cliff-diving. The ocean is below them. It's like extreme diving. Wanna give it a try?"

He wiggled his eyebrows at me and I stared at him as if he had three heads and each one was a different shape with different hair. "HELL NO!" I quickly threw the truck in gear and barreled down the road away from the extreme sports scene. "My feet are staying on the ground thank you very much."

'_Unless you trip, then they'll be in the air.' _He snickered loudly to himself and I narrowed my eyes in annoyance as we neared his house.

Jake may well be my best _guy_ friend aside from Emmett and Jasper but he still subconsciously knew how to irk me. At least Em and Jazz knew of my gift and annoyed me through it. Now the problem was figuring out a way to enact revenge without him realizing my plot.

* * *

_**Chapter End Notes:**_

I know Edward doesn't deserve a birthday present but Bella is hoping to send him a message. I mentioned the gift back in daybreak, can anyone remember? Any guesses as to what Bella put on the iTouch?

Unfortunately this is my last chapter for a week or two, in the process of moving right now. I'm getting this out during a break while my hubby takes a truck load of stuff to the new house. I WILL be working on my stories during breaks though. Anyway, wish me luck on getting moved and settled in quickly.


	8. Why Can't I Stay Away?

I don't own anything Twilight. The idea of Bella being a mind reader is mine and a few events. Everything else belongs to Stephenie Meyers. No copyright infringement intended. Nearly all my chapters have mild language, mainly name calling.

Sorry it took so long to get a chapter out. I was moving, now I have the daunting task of unpacking and turning this place back into a home.

According to the current poll status – it seems you want Full Moon finished first so here is the next chapter.

I'm a bit surprised no one remembered what Bella bought back in daybreak. Granted I was a bit cryptic about it, but maybe someone of you will remember when you read this chapter.

* * *

**Chapter 8: Why Can't I Stay Away?**

I spotted a lonesome fly hovering around the top of my tent, frantically searching for a way out. In many ways, I felt like that fly, trapped inside a cage with no way to escape, able to see the outside but not enjoy it, to know what I wanted but unable to obtain it.

Oh great, now I was comparing myself to an insect that eats feces.

I sat up and gazed out the open tent door at the rain that pelted the ground in a heavy sheet. After a solid week of sunshine, I was having withdrawals from lack of rain and it felt strangely comforting.

I was still in shock from what I witnessed the other night. Bella was happy and laughing and she had someone who could protect her at all times, someone to stand by her in the sunlight, chat with her friends, someone who could give her everything I can't.

'_Rose is right – you really are a dumbass aren't you?'_

I sighed heavily at my little sister's thoughts. "What else is new?"

Alice sprinted inside the tent and sat down on her knees before me. "Is that a rhetorical question or did you want an answer?"

I couldn't hold back the glare at her question. "Obviously it's rhetorical. What do you want now Alice?"

"I have come baring gifts!" she reached inside her coat, pulled out something about the size of a clothing box wrapped in blue, and on top of that was my iTouch.

I sat staring at the items for a minute, why was she bringing me presents, it wasn't…oh wait, yeah it was. "Alice, you shouldn't have."

I reached for the blue package and Alice glared evilly at me. "Your right, but she made me promise."

She? I knew it wasn't Rosalie since she had never given me a present to this day, Esme was still probably really mad at me, Tanya would have brought it to me herself – which only left one other person.

'_BINGO!'_

Why was Bella giving me a birthday present, after all I had done to her? Hadn't she moved on with that Quileute boy? Maybe this was a farewell gift and it just coincided with my birthday. Before another thought could occur, a fist hit me hard in the head from the side.

'_Shut up and open it damn it!'_ I hissed at the sharpness of her unspoken words.

I carefully pulled the blue paper from the package until a black leather bond book stared up at me. I pulled away the paper, tossing it at Alice and a pen fell out. I delicately picked up the fountain pen and turned it around in my fingers. On the end, engraved into the metal was the picture of a swan. I just love the symbolism and reference to her last name. I placed the pen on the tent floor and opened the cover of the book.

On the first inside page was a message in Bella's untidy penmanship.

_**No matter what you say, or how much it hurts…**_

_**I can't forget and I never will!**_

Can't forget what? Me, what I've done, what I've said. What?

"YOU, you huge dumb shit!" Alice folded her arms over her chest and her eyes narrowed severely. "Even if you want her to forget you and move on, she can't and won't. Get it through your thick skull." Alice leaned over and started to knock her knuckles against my head as I flipped through the empty journal pages.

Just as I was about to put the book down, I noticed something taped to the inside of the back of the book. I opened the book back open and was stunned at the picture before my eyes. It was a photo of Bella and me sitting in our meadow, very close, just staring at each other – you could see the love in our eyes as we said nothing and just continued to gaze at each other. Before I could stop myself my fingers danced gently over Bella's face in the photo.

When had this picture been taken? I remembered that day in the meadow but I don't remember any cameras and this photo is a close up. I snapped my head to face Alice and her hands shot up in defense.

'_It wasn't me! The girl who's heart you broke took it, she was hoping to have a memento of your picnic.'_ Alice then sighed as her arms fell to her sides. "What you saw the other night was a lie, she was acting for the sake of her father and friends. Despite what you think, this separation is really tearing her up."

Great, another lecture from the pipsqueak. I flashed to my feet and stormed out of the tent, Alice hot on my tail.

"Of course you're going to get another lecture, you need it!" Alice grabbed my arm and spun me around to face her. "When are you going to realize that keeping yourself from Bella is killing you both? I know you can't die but she can and I've heard several stories about humans dying from a broken heart. Is that what you want?"

I ripped my arm out of her hand and glared down at her. "OF COURSE NOT!" I turned my head to the side and stared at the soaked forest floor. "Go home Alice."

"Edward you need to-"

"GO HOME!" from the corner of my eye I saw Alice flinch tremendously and start shaking.

'_Edward, please, you can't keep-'_ Alice stopped her trail of thought when I glared swords at her, trying to get her to shut up.

"Go before I call your husband to fetch you!" I snapped and she finally took the hint and slowly retreated into the forest.

'_You're doing a very stupid thing by staying away,'_ Alice had a parting thought then I heard her pick up speed toward the house.

So I've been told, repeatedly.

I knew what I was doing was stupid and idiotic and I should go back and beg Bella for forgiveness but something held me back, don't ask me what it was – I'm clueless.

I tilted my head back and let the rain pelt my face as I stared up at the dismally grey sky. Thanks to my fleeing from Alice earlier, I was already drenched down to my stone skin, so letting my face get wet was of no concern.

Why was I staying away from Bella? I'd been told that she's appearing happy for the sake of those around her and Alice showed me how Bella was when she thought she was alone. But what held me back? I wanted her in my arms, to touch her warm skin, to enjoy the softness of her lips and get lost in her chocolate recesses we call eyes. However, something was keeping me from running to her, to claim what she offered wholeheartedly.

I smashed my forehead into a tree, resulting in thousands of little toothpicks flying away. What reason do I have to stay away – the fear of the unknown, being afraid of losing control, accidentally killing the most important person to me? I hope it wasn't a fear of happiness.

I sighed heavily then trudged back through the rain toward my new home. I immediately stripped out of my soaked clothes and put on some dry ones then picked up my iTouch and lounged on the bottom of the tent.

I placed the ear-buds in my ears and clicked my way into my music playlist. I shot into a sitting position when I saw only one available list. All my other lists were gone, replaced with one titled 'Bella'. This was either going to be very painful or immensely enjoyable – I'm hoping it was going to be enjoyable but I wasn't too optimistic. I cringed as I made my way into the playlist that Bella had made for me. I was half expecting to see a list of angry-girl music and the other half was expecting sappy tearjerkers, I was given a combination of the two.

Are You Happy Now – Michelle Branch

Born To Make You Happy – Britney Spears

Breath – Breaking Benjamin

Comatose – Skillit

Dance with the Devil – Breaking Benjamin

Every Time We Touch – Casacada

Flower in the Shade – The Mitch Hansen Band

Going Under – Evanescence

How Do I Live Without You – Trisha Yearwood

I Can't Help Myself – Nobody's Angel

Just to Hear You Say You Love Me – Faith Hill

Keep On Loving You – REO Speedwagon

Love Is Worth The Fall – O.A.R.

My Life Would Suck Without You – Kelly Clarkson

Nothing Else Matters – Groove Coverage

Over My Head – The Fray

Pain – Three Day Grace

Question Existing – Rihanna

Rest in Pieces – Saliva

Since You've Been Gone – Kelly Clarkson

Stay With Me – The Mitch Hansen Band

Truly Madly Deeply – Savage Garden

Unbreak My Heart – Toni Braxton

When Your Gone – Avril Lavigne

You Drive Me Crazy – Britney Spears

My heart constricted tightly as I looked over the list. Bella had seriously thought about the songs she selected. Each song on the list was more depressing than the last. The one that really stuck out was 'Born to Make You Happy'. Did she really think that way? It is true that I was never truly happy until the day I met her and shortly thereafter, we discovered how well we fit together.

My mind involuntarily jumped back to that day I saved her from the van and how her slight form pressed against me perfectly. When she had tried to stand up, I was reluctant to let her move – stating she could be hurt, but really, I just didn't want to let go. Then she stated that the snow was cold and that's why she wanted to move – I quickly whisked her away to my car, away from the carnage that was her car, enjoying the feel of her in my arms. I had the faintest suggestion that while I was carrying her she had sniffed me.

Later that day, after we had returned from the hospital, I had to protect her again, but this time it from an assault of snowballs. Just remembering how Bella felt, held tightly in my arms, her every curve pressed into me in just the right places – did unusual things to my body. As I held her, she clung to me just as tightly, it was obvious she didn't want to let go and I didn't want to let go either.

Now, this sweet and fragile human girl was willing to give me her everything and believed she had been born for the sole purpose of making me happy. Happiness is a two-way street isn't it. If her creation had been specifically for me and she indeed made me happy, had I been waiting for her for over a century just to make her happy in return? Bella sure thought so.

As I looked at her playlist and her gift, I concluded that a lot could happen in only a month. She may be faking a smile right now and her heart was solely on me but in a months' time that could all change. I'll stay away for one month and if her play-acting doesn't change and she's still devoted to me, then I'll give up, take her in my arms, and do all the things she wants to do. I'll give in to the seventeen year old that has been screaming inside my head since I met her and ravish her from head to toe.

If I kept thinking about her like that, I was never going to make it a whole month. I decided that if I wasn't going to touch her for the next month, the least I could do was look at her.

I grabbed up the iTouch and left the tent, sprinting for town. I was completely soaked again as I walked into the small sleepy town. It was late on a Tuesday so Bella should be home, I don't think she works on Tuesdays. I casually hid behind buildings and snuck my way toward Bella's house.

There was only one heartbeat present in the house and I recognized it immediately, Charlie must still be out trying to find that large dog everyone was gossiping about lately. I found a spot in the forest that I could watch her move around the house but I remained hidden from straying eyes.

I watched as the beautiful goddess in the house went about doing dishes, cleaning the kitchen, doing laundry and other measly chores. I flinched when she stumbled on her way up the stairs not once but three times. She entered her room and went about straitening random objects.

While I watched her, I realized I was truly masochistic. With each turn of her slender form, flip of her ponytail and each sigh that past her luscious lips, it was in my best interest to rearrange my pants to make parts of me more comfortable. When she licked her lips and then bit down on her bottom lip innocently, yet seductively I accidently ripped out a chunk of the tree I was gripping – my pants wouldn't shift for comfort anymore either.

Bella's head shot up and she walked over to the window then opened it and stared out, searching. Did she hear me tearing apart the tree? Did she know I was watching her from a nearby tree? Her eyebrows scrunched together in thought and I so wished I could read what was running through her mind. She placed her hands on the windowsill and leaned out slightly.

"Edward, YOU ASSHOLE!" she shouted at the top of her lungs then slammed the window shut loudly. For the first time ever, I had actually lost my footing on the branch and started to fall from the tree – but I managed to wrap my arms around the limb beneath it to keep myself from hitting the ground. I stared at the closed window in complete and utter bewilderment.

She had called me an asshole! Granted I was, in the eyes of everyone who knew the truth of what happened. Was she calling me an asshole because of what I had done or did she really hate me now? I'm almost positive it was the former and not the later. I'm sure she suspected I was out here observing her, why else would she yell out her window like that.

Her behavior confounded me. I hastily pulled out my cell phone and dialed my sister.

"What do you want Edward?" wow, she sounded pissed.

"Does Bella make a ritual of screaming at me from her window?" I held the phone nearly a foot away from my face as her high-pitched laugh echoed over the line.

"No, that was a first and it was priceless," she then whispered her next words, probably to someone else. "I wished I'd been there."

"Gee, thanks Alice."

"Hey, you brought this on yourself, be glad she only called you an asshole and not the other colorful words she's used for you," she then hung up, she had never hung up on me before – she must _really_ be mad at me.

I glanced toward Bella's closed window and sighed – is there someone anywhere that wasn't mad at me right now. I stared at the pane of glass that had been my open door to her room, that same door, now closed to me because of my stupidity. I jumped down from the tree and trekked back toward my tent, determined to make it another twenty-four hours without Bella at my side.

I would visit her tomorrow night while she slept – if the window wasn't locked that is. I wanted to see the bruises I've heard of for myself and to look upon her with my own eyes, not by using someone else's.

After changing out of my wet clothes, I lounged on the floor of the tent and listened to the iTouch over and over again.

About midday the following afternoon, I finally emerged from my tent and was pleased to see a dry but overcast day. I ventured into the forest and swiftly took down two deer to satisfy my growing thirst. I stumbled across a stream and decided to take a quick swim and relax for a little bit.

After my dinner and swim, I headed for the small white house that backed to the forest. The house was silent which implied it was still earlier. I found my wounded tree from the night before and shot up into the branches. I made myself comfortable by reclining against the trunk with my legs stretched out in front of me.

About an hour later, I was surprised to see the Volvo pull up to the house. I picked up Bella's heartbeat but no other sound or any thoughts. Was she borrowing my car again? I watched as she meandered around the house, going from room to room. She looked exhausted and weary as if something tiring or miserable had happened to her today.

I leaned forward on my branch when she made her way upstairs to the bathroom and after a few minutes, she emerged only to go to her room. She left the light off while she started to strip out of her clothes – I turned my eyes away immediately. When I heard her climb into bed and settle down, I looked back toward her.

I sat in my tree staring at her motionless form and her breathing deepened. She must really be tired if she's already asleep. I sprang from the limb and silently but quickly entered her room via the window – glad that it wasn't locked.

Bella was starting to moan and whine in her sleep. I walked over, kneeled beside her bed, and watched as her eyebrows scrunched together and she would squirm slightly.

"Edward…please…stay…I'm sorry…don't…I won't do it again…please…I love you…"

I was startled when tears started to fall from her closed eyes in a steady torrent. I gently wiped away the runaway drops of salt water then brushed a strand of hair behind her ear. More tears fell sadly and I was unable to stop them.

What was I doing to this sweet creature? She shouldn't be crying in her sleep and what did she have to apologize for, I'm the one that left. Now that I was so close to her, I saw that her face was slimmer and her shoulders and collarbone were protruding slightly – she wasn't eating as much as she should be. As my eyes raked over her exposed shoulders, arms, chest and hands, I cringed at all the bruises that darkened her unusual porcelain skin.

My family was correct in everything they had told me about Bella, I was doing more damage away from her than good. There was no way I was going to make it through a month of staying away from her and hoping her feelings changed – I didn't want that any more than she did.

"Please Edward no…I'm so very sorry…come back…"

I gently touched my fingers to her cheek and pressed a firm kiss to her forehead while inhaling as much of her delicious strawberry scent as I could. I moved to her desk and wrote out a note quickly then returned to her side. I glanced down at the sobbing angel wrapped up in her blankets.

Soon, very soon, she'll be back in my arms where she belonged, but first I have to ready myself for the inevitable. I placed the folded piece of paper on her bedside table against her cell phone then looked at the tear-streaked face below me. I leaned down and pressed a chaste kiss on her trembling lips before I fled out her window.

I heard her heart rate increase the second I was out of the house and I hid in a nearby tree.

"Edward…!" she sat straight up in bed and looked around. She saw the note on the table and with a shaky hand, she picked it up and opened it. A smile worked its way over her face and she lay back down in the bed. She fell asleep with a smile on her face, as she should always have when she fell asleep.

Pleased with myself, I sprinted into the forest with a smile on my face to match Bella's. I had one month to prepare myself – come hell or high water, I _will_ be prepared and ready to face Bella and all she was willing to offer me.

* * *

_**Chapter End Notes:**_

Sorry this chapter wasn't very torturous but I so wanted to make Bella feel a little better.

Any idea as to what was in the note that Edward wrote? What is he talking about by being _'prepared and ready'_?


	9. Illness?

Wished I owned but I don't sadly.

* * *

**Chapter 9: Illness?**

I slowly and miserably opened my eyes. I'd had the most disturbing dream ever and I definitely didn't want to relive it.

I was standing with Edward in the forest – both of us were blissfully happy and innocently kissing in the sunlight. Edward pulled away from me, his skin sparkling like golden glitter, mesmerizing me. He turned around and started walking away without saying a word and on instinct, I ran after him. I followed him for hours, hollering at him, begging him not to go, I apologized profusely – but he wouldn't stop and just kept walking.

In an instant, he was face to face with me and I ran into his chest face first. He leaned down and pressed a kiss to my forehead then he stared at me for a while, caressing my cheek before he gave me a feather light kiss on the lips.

That was the most affection I had received from him for a week of dreams and it startled me. I shouted his name and sat upright immediately, scanning my room to verify that it was only a dream.

I looked around and saw nothing out of the ordinary. I glanced over to my clock and saw it was only four in the morning – I was so going back to sleep. I nearly missed it but there was a piece of folded paper leaned up against my cell phone with the word '_Bella_' written on it in a familiar, beautiful, calligraphic handwriting. I reached for the note with a trembling hand, I couldn't take if this turned out to be a dream also, not another dream within a dream. I slowly and hesitantly opened the note and read the gorgeous wording.

**_I can't handle another starless month alone._**

**_Please give me one month,_**

**_I need to do some thinking and preparing._**

**_I'll return to you by the full moon in August._**

**_Love you forever,_**

**_Edward_**

Please pinch me, don't let this be a dream, please. I clutched the note tightly in my hand and held it to my chest. Did Edward really say he would be back in one month? He said he would be back by the full moon in August – if he didn't, I will sic his brothers on him. I took a deep breath to calm my breathing then I laid back down – I knew I had the biggest shit-eating grin on my face as I fell back to sleep.

The rest of the night was normal, with the exception of the dream where Edward was following me around his house on his knees, begging me to forgive him while he apologized.

I awoke late the next morning feeling better than I had these last several weeks. As I started fully waking up, I was hit with a wave of dread. Had last night really happened? It wasn't a dream was it? My eyes shot down to the hands resting on the pillow and clutched tightly in my right hand was a now crumpled piece of paper. I sat up slowly, opened the note, and read over the words again, then again to make sure I was reading them correctly.

My heart jumped into my throat as I fought back tears of elation. I guess my playlist convinced him, I was _definitely_ not moving on without him.

Due to the note Edward had left me, I was now in a lighthearted mood and felt I could do anything while perched on top of cloud nine. I sprang from my bed and scurried in to take a shower and get ready for the day. It was now Thursday and I had to be at work in three hours.

After my shower, I changed and made sure I grabbed my phone off the nightstand – didn't want to miss Edward's call if he decided to talk to me. I sprinted downstairs and made myself a bowl of coco puffs cereal then I went about straightening up the kitchen.

I had another hour until work started but I decided to leave early anyway. It wasn't sunny but it wasn't raining either and there was no wind to chill me so I decided to walk the short distance to the vet office.

I walked inside the office quietly and accidently scared the doctor, he wasn't expecting me yet or maybe it was the smile I knew was plastered on my face.

'_Whoa, what happened? She's smiling, she's been depressed for weeks now,'_ Doctor Kurt was without a doubt surprised about my behavior.

"Morning doc," I walked over and took my seat behind the desk, still smiling.

"Mo…morning Bella. Good news I take it?" he stuttered as he flipped the sign to '_Open_'.

All I could do was nod for fear of actually giggling out in cheerfulness.

"Good, I'm glad to see you smiling again. The clinic should be in a better mood now as well," he grabbed up a clipboard and walked down the hallway to the back of the clinic. _'I so hope she got back with her boyfriend, she was always so happy when she was with him.'_

Was there anyone who hadn't noticed what a wreck I was without Edward?

"Oh Bella, we had a cat brought in on Wednesday and she had five kittens. I'll need you to check in on her every so often to make sure she's nursing and the kittens are doing okay," I jumped from my seat and almost ran to the holding room. The doctor chuckled from behind me as I neared the cage I heard the tiny mewing emitting from.

They were all so adorable, two creams and three grays – just like mommy. She was purring up a storm as all five of her babies latched on to her nipples tightly. "They all seem to be doing great to me."

Kurt walked up beside me and peeked inside the cage. "Yep, looks like she's doing fine. Okay, back to work."

He ushered me out of the room with a smile, he wasn't being rude or anything since he had a smile on his face. I went back to the desk just as a call came in. A man wanted to make an appointment to have his dog spayed now that the pups were weaned. I quickly took down his information and scheduled him for next Monday.

Being the only veterinary clinic in an hours' drive had its advantages and Doctor Kurt was the only physician to work here. This small place was surprisingly busy.

Throughout the day, there had been six more calls, four scheduling appointments, one confirming for tomorrow and one question for the doctor. There were only four appointments scheduled for today – three surgeries and one check-up – which I assisted on for all four. Overall, it was a normal day at work.

Just as I was punching out for the day, Kurt had a random thought that innerved me and had me frozen in place – time card suspended in midair.

'_Four large dogs now, damn. What in the world is going on? So, I guess Jim isn't going completely crazy. He's going to have a field day when he hears this news.' _

I heard a heavy sigh from the back room and quickly pulled myself from his mind and stamped out. After hollering goodnight to the doctor, I swiftly made my way out of the clinic and nearly sprinted home. I was amazed that I had only stumbled seven times in the half-mile trek between clinic and house.

The house was quiet, empty, and extremely eerie. Having heard about the giant dogs on the loose in the woods hadn't help my anxiety any. I took a deep breath then started chuckling as a thought occurred to me – I was a hypocrite.

I hung out with vampires for Christ sakes and here I am worried about an overgrown puppy. What kind of person would I be if I was scared of one type of monster but not another? In all honesty, at least vampires are more or less human. They don't run around on all fours and sniff each other's asses.

Out of habit, I dead-bolted the door behind me and made my way upstairs, where I flopped down on my bed. A small piece of paper fluttered across the bed and landed near my right hand.

A small smile creased my lips as I reached for the piece of parchment. It was the same note from this morning but the words still hit me like a freight train.

One month. Edward had asked me to be patient for one month while he prepared, prepared for what? The thinking I understood, but the preparing had me confused. Wouldn't it be easier to prepare for whatever it was with my help?

I was startled from my musing when 'Bad Boys' started echoing in my room. I moaned at the realization, that internally – Bad Boys wasn't the ring tone that I had hoped to hear.

"Hi dad, what's up?" I rolled over onto my back and stared at the ceiling as I awaited Charlie's response.

He sighed loudly before answering my innocent question – this was not good. "There have been several missing hikers lately and reports of feral dogs. I'm staying down in La Push tonight to try and formulate a plan with some of the locals."

I sat up quickly and stared out the window. I had 'heard' about the dogs but I had no idea people were missing. Were these crazed animals taking out innocent people? The only other possible threat were nomadic vampires but Alice would have mentioned them if that was a possibility.

"Bella?" Charlie's voice came over the phone and sounded very worried. "If you're-"

"No, I'm not scared. I was just thinking about those poor hikers. How many are missing…do you have any clues?" I quickly recovered and halted my father's idea of returning for my sake when he needed to be somewhere else.

"Four are reported missing but there may be more, we're not sure yet and the only clue is a lot of blood and large paw prints around the sites," he sighed again and I vaguely heard shouting in the background. "Yes its Bella…I'm telling her…no you…yes…Jake, knock it…"

"Hey Bella?" hearing Jacob's voice come over the line surprised me.

"Jacob, did you just take the phone from my dad?" It was a rhetorical question but I seemed to find the humor in the scenario.

"Um, yeah…I did…Hey, I have a question."

I chuckled at his sudden change of subject. He was such an easygoing boy and his mind was always innocent and pure – unlike a certain blond, egocentric jock I knew. I scoffed as I ran my hand through my hair. "What's your question Jake?"

"Well um, I was wondering if you would join me for a movie tomorrow night," you could literally hear the embarrassment dripping from his voice – it was cute.

"Sure," I laughed when I heard Billy yell at Jake to stop standing on the couch. "Just as friends of course, Edward should be back in a month?"

"Of course, I wouldn't dare tread on his territory!" I could almost visualize the smirk that was on his face. "Pick you up tomorrow at six?"

"Sounds good, wait…in what?" Last I knew, he only had the motorbike, thanks to me. "Not the bike I hope."

"No, definitely not, I finished the rabbit yesterday."

I cringed as I thought about the little car that I saw resting outside his garage whenever I came over. "I'm not going to have to walk home tomorrow night am I?"

"NO, that's mean, have some faith. I did rebuild the Chevy remember…among other things," I wished I could see his face right now. I knew he wasn't actually hurt, he was just playing and I couldn't help but giggle – a small smile lengthened my lips.

"You seem to be in a good mood, probably because the missing boyfriend is finally returning right?" My once small smile grew at the mention of Edward's return.

I hummed my reply happily and Jake snickered. "I'll see you tomorrow night okay?"

"Yep, night, bye..." the phone clicked off and I was left in complete silence again.

Being in a house that was totally and utterly noiseless was innerving. I quickly strolled downstairs to the kitchen and went spelunking in the fridge for something to eat. After searching for half an hour, I settled on a bowl of cereal. After washing my dishes, I snagged an apple off the counter then went and hid in my room for the rest of the night.

After nibbling my apple down to the core and snuggling into bed on my stomach, I started to read my book, a collective work on Jane Austen's stories. Despite having read the stories repeatedly – I couldn't help myself…they were my favorites.

I had no idea that I had fallen asleep until I was blinded by sunlight spilling through the sheer curtain on my window. I squinted tightly and pulled the pillow over my head to hide the brightness that was threatening my eyesight.

I growled as I rolled out of bed then glared at the sunshine beaming down on my lap. No vampires out today apparently. On my way to the bathroom I groaned – another lonesome day, another night without Edward, another boring day at work, another movie I had to fake happiness through.

Once I had dressed, I headed toward the clinic, and looked over the agenda book to see what was planned for the day. My eyes widened at the long list of appointments – seven check-ups, three surgeries, and one declawing. I so hope the doctor wasn't over working himself.

Eight hours later, Kurt finally released me to go home and enjoy my weekend. Sure, I would go out and do things, but I wouldn't enjoy it, not for another month until Edward was by my side anyway.

I reached the house then quickly threw a salad together before Jake showed up. As soon as I placed my washed plate in the dish-rack there was a knock at the door. I glanced at the clock on the microwave, right on time, I retrieved my coat and wallet from the back of the couch then opened the front door. I wasn't surprised to see the six foot tanned boy in front of me.

The look on his face surprised me though. His eyes were wide and his mouth was gaping. I arched an eyebrow in curiosity as he continued to stare.

'_How does she make jeans and a flannel shirt look hot and sexy?'_ I cringed at his inner question. _'Oh shit, I probably look like an idiot.'_ He shook his head slightly and cleared his throat. "Ready to go?"

I was a bit hesitant due to Jake's thoughts but I eventually nodded and locked the door behind me. I turned to see a small white rabbit sitting in the driveway and I don't mean the fluffy, cottontail type – it was the four-wheeled metal kind. It had several spots of rust which is expected when you live on the coast – gotta love the coastal salt air.

I pointed a shaky finger at the small vehicle I knew Edward would have a cow if he saw – more so if he saw me in it. "Is that thing safe?"

He rolled his eyes and pushed me toward the car. "Its fine, get in."

I planted my feet on the ground and refused to get in to the car. Jacob stopped pushing on my back and looked at me with narrowed eyes. I held out my hand before him. "Do you have your license yet?"

He grumbled under his breath before slamming the keys into my hand then stalked over to the passenger side of the car. _'This is so not cool. Being chaffered around by a girl, at least she's a hot girl – taken, but hot none the less.'_

Jake's thoughts were really starting to worry me. What was once sweet, protective and innocent were now turning into hormonal, wanton and lustful. I followed him with the corner of my eye as we both climbed into the car. I started the engine and it started without a problem, it didn't purr like the Volvo but it didn't roar or moan like my Chevy so I figured it was alright.

I tried to keep my eyes focused on the road in front of me but Jacob continued to have sporadic and random thoughts. A few of them even caused the hair on the back of my neck to stand upright.

'_So beautiful…'_

'_Her Edward is insane…'_

'_Wonder if she'd ever consider dating someone younger…'_

What is wrong with him? He's never acted or thought like this. Maybe he was just at that age where he started to find girls interesting…god, I hope that was it.

We arrived at the movie theater in just under an hour. Normally the drive would take almost an hour and a half – the Cullens must be wearing off on me. After exiting the car and walking to the main doors, we stood staring at the available movies listed above the ticket booth. Normally I would jump at the chance to watch a lusty romantic flick, but lately I couldn't handle it – not without Edward by my side.

Just like before, we settled on a comedic action flick. After purchasing our tickets and buying a large popcorn, we shuffled into the darkened room and awaited for the movie to start.

Jacob's thoughts started to travel down a scary road and I began squirming in my seat next to him.

'_It would be so nice if she would hold my hand…'_

'_If her boyfriend doesn't return soon, I might just have to take her…'_

'…_how could he leave such a gorgeous creature alone for so long?'_

Due to his thoughts and wandering eyes, I wasn't even paying attention to the movie that had started playing before us. He started laughing at something in the movie and he rested his arm on the back of my seat.

Why was he doing this? He's supposed to be my friend not the lovelorn third wheel that hoped for something he could never have. I was madly in love with Edward and it would stay that way until the stars stopped shining and the sun ceased to warm the earth. My chest tightened almost infinitesimally as I tried to imagine my life without Edward in it – that was not a life I even wanted to attempt to live.

"Bella, are you alright?" I glanced from my lap to a worried Jacob next to me. I suddenly realized that people were filing out of the theater and I noticed the credits were rolling on the large screen – I had missed the entire movie.

I nodded meekly and stood to leave. A strong hand grasping my arm startled me.

'_No you don't,'_ I looked up to see Jake's face was very stern and angry. "What is wrong with you? You didn't look at the screen even once. You didn't even want to come tonight did you?"

My eyes widened at the gruffness in his voice and the tightening of his fingers. "Jake, that's not it at all-"

"Really?" he interrupted me and his eyes narrowed to almost slits. "What then, were you hoping for your MIA boyfriend that can't even bother to call you for almost a month? What is so important that he can't even give you the time of day?"

Anger, shame, loneliness and other emotions I couldn't identify at the moment boiled inside me. I wrenched my arm free of Jake's hold and glared up at him – he really needed to lay off the Miracle Gro. Anger was at the forefront of my overpowering feelings right now.

"What's wrong with _me_? What's wrong with _you_? You've never questioned my behavior before, you know Edward is away helping friends and you also know I miss him terribly!" I tried to force my way down the aisle, eager to get away from him.

"Tell me something, why didn't you go with him than?" Jacob growled his question at me and it stopped me short. _'I bet they did break-up and she doesn't want to admit it.'_

I cringed at his hurtful thinking, I know he didn't mean to be cruel but sometimes even the most innocent of opinions can bring pain. "I have a job remember and I didn't want to be a distraction for him," it was scary how easily lying was becoming – maybe I should take up acting classes.

Jacob scoffed then stormed out of the theater, heading straight for the rabbit. I hung back several yards as I watched his body shake visibly – his anger had obviously taken hold of his body.

'_She's right, what is wrong with me? I've never been so quick-of-temper before. Am I sick or something?'_ He rested his forehead against the roof of the car and took several deep breaths.

"Get in…I'll take you home," Jacob grumbled something incoherent before sliding into the passenger seat.

'_Well, this has turned into a fucked up date!'_

I glared out the windshield as I started the car and pulled out of the parking lot. I so wanted to shout at my passenger. Firstly, we weren't on a date and secondly, watch your mouth. Maybe he is ill – he currently seemed to be emitting a lot of heat causing me to crack my window to get some cool air.

I parked the car in front of my house within an hour of leaving Port Angeles. I killed the engine and reached inside my pocket for my cell phone. "I'm calling Billy to come get-" an overheated hand pressed down on mine, halting the button pressing I was doing.

"I can drive home, its no problem," when I looked at his pained face that now had beads of sweat on his brow, I wanted to argue vehemently. "I'll go slow."

"But you don't look well enough to-"

"LET ME GO! I'll be fine…" I flinched and bit down on my bottom lip – hard. I was in shock, I don't remember Jacob ever talking to me like that – it scared me.

I sprang from the car and slammed the door behind me. "At least call me when you make it home so I know you got home safe," I heard him grunt and he started to pull himself over into the driver seat.

I walked over, stood on the porch, and watched as Jacob drove away. True to his word, he definitely drove home slowly, I could have walked faster than the speed those tires were turning. Even if he was going at a snail's pace, with the way he looked so sick, it still made me nervous.

I sighed heavily then retreated into the house. I waited in the kitchen for the phone to ring, whether he called my cell or the house phone – I was ready and waiting. Nearly an hour later the home phone finally started ringing.

"Jake…" I picked up before the first ring had even finished.

"Sorry Bella, its Billy. Jake just got home and mumble to me that he had to call you. He fell over on to the couch and hasn't moved since. At least he's still breathing, but damn he's burning up," the worry in his voice was evident but it was laced with anticipation and hope.

A sigh of relief escaped past my lips. "Oh, I'm glad he made it home safely. Have him call me once he's feeling better, alright."

"Will do, Bella, thanks," he hung up before farewells could be uttered. I leaned against the countertop and stared at the phone while it beeped loudly in the silent room.

I was a bit surprised by Billy's rudeness over the phone, though I shouldn't be really. Billy had made it obvious about his distaste for my choice in a boyfriend in the past, was Billy one to hold that against me. Did he see me as a bad egg, a bad influence now because I hang-out with the Cullens' and dated one?

It was already late at night due to the movie and Charlie had left me a note saying he'll be home late tonight and not to wait up so I decided to snuggle up in my bed and attempt to sleep.

After finishing my nighttime routine and slipping into a pair of black boy shorts and a violet tank top, I buried myself under my bed covers. I clung tightly to my phone, prepared for when Jacob called me to tell me was well again. I couldn't get the image of him weak, sweating, and slumped against the car window out of my mind. He looked to be in pain but didn't say anything other than the occasional grunt or groan. I hope its just a twenty-four hour bug and he'll be fine by tomorrow evening.

At some point during the night, I had fallen asleep. A light tapping on my window caused me to spring forward and I was at it before I had finished taking a breath. My heart sank when I looked out the window and realized the tapping was just the rain hitting on the pain of glass.

I slowly walked back over to my bed and flumped down. I glanced quickly at my phone and my heart sank even further at seeing I had no missed calls or text messages. I decided to call Jacob again and see how he was doing this morning. It took me less than twenty seconds to ring his house.

On the fifth ring, the phone was finally picked up. "Hello?"

"Billy, how is Jake doing?" I asked quickly, eager to hear the answer to my friends' welfare.

"Um, he's fine…he has mono so he can't go outside for awhile," his voice was panicked, hesitant, nervous even. What I wouldn't give to be there right now to read his mind and find out the truth behind his edginess.

"Well, can I at least talk to him, wish him well and hope that he gets better soon?" I knew something was definitely wrong when I heard his sharp intake of air.

"Um, sorry he's asleep right now but I'll give him your message…" dial tone again. He hung up on me again! If he was hoping to come across as innocent, he was failing miserably. Innocent people don't hang up on concerned friends. Everything from last night till now was screaming 'suspicious' at me. I decided I would call later in the day, when I knew Jacob would be awake.

There wasn't much for me to do on a Saturday during summer break, so I conceded to my boring day and did chores around the house. Once laundry and dishes were washed and random things picked up I sat down on the couch with my phone pressed to my ear.

"Hello?" Billy's voice came on the line swiftly.

"Is he awake now? It is three in the afternoon after all," there was a long pause on the other line and I winced at the possible lie I feared he would come up with.

"…No, he isn't. The doctor says he needs all the sleep he can get. I'll tell him you called…"

I slammed my phone shut angrily upon hearing the dial tone again. Billy was quickly making an enemy out of me and considering how passive I naturally am, that was saying a lot.

Charlie was out with others searching for the giant dogs and the missing hikers, Jacob was hiding from me, Edward was off thinking and preparing – I guess I'll go hang out with my second family, the vampires. Maybe they could lift up my mood.

Sunday arrived with another elusive Billy and Jacob.

Monday appeared with loads of sunshine, several appointments at work and still no Jake.

Tuesday was rather boring at work and I attempted to contact my missing friend again – nothing.

Due to no work on Wednesday, I resorted to calling the Black's house every hour on the hour.

I had an appointment on Thursday after work but once I was done with that, I drove directly to the Cullens' to vent my anger.

"Make a personal appearance tomorrow after work," Emmett suggested while pummeling Jasper's character with his fists on his video game.

"He's right you know. You've been calling for a week with no reply and their elusive behavior has you extremely worried," I opened my mouth to argue my feelings at Jasper but he raised an eyebrow as if to dare me to argue. I snapped my mouth shut and bit my bottom lip and glared at them. Annoying, know-it-all vampires!

'_Bella, you'll feel better if you go and check on him, you know you will and I know it too,' _Alice's thought made my eye twitch, and I growled at her as she stood behind Jasper playing with his hair.

'_Damn it, is she trying to distract me?'_ Jasper fidgeted in his seat as he attempted to concentrate on the game.

I scoffed at Jasper's reaction to Alice's handling of his hair. At the same time, my chest constricted, whenever Edward touched me, it caused the same reaction from me – and I missed it terribly.

"Alice, you need to stop that before your best friend implodes on herself," he hissed at his wife then shot a strong wave of confidence and reassurance at me.

Alice's eyes widened as she slowly turned her head from Jasper to look at me. Her hands shot to her mouth in terror. _'Oh my god, I'm so sorry, I didn't even realize I was doing it.'_

I sighed as I stood up and moved slowly toward the door. "I guess I'm going down to La Push tomorrow night. I'll call to let you know how things went…unless a little bird tells you before I do," I glance at Alice and she giggled quietly as she shrugged her shoulders.

'_Kick his ass if that boy gets out of line!'_

"Thanks for the advice Rose, I'll consider it," leave it to Rosalie to suggest brute force.

With the decision made, I headed home, finalizing my plans. Come rain, shine, snow or high water, I was going to the Black's house tomorrow and I wasn't going to leave until I saw and spoke to Jacob. Whether we remained friends after tomorrow night or not, I couldn't tell you.

Tomorrow I would find out why he was avoiding me and where we stood in the friendship.

* * *

_**Chapter End Notes:**_

I hope the note from Edward was okay. Everyone has been wanting him to return soon, so does the note help you readers and Bella? I know Edward says he can't handle another month alone then he asks for a month so he can think. I worded it that way because if he knows she'll be waiting for him for the next month he won't feel so alone, she's technically with him (in spirit and mind), he has something to look forward to. Sorry if this came across confusing, it makes sense in my head. :-P

Any idea as to what is wrong with Jake? If you've read NM I would hope it was a no-brainer question.


	10. I'm Going to Hell

Just a small but happy note. My daybreak saga finally earns its NC17 rating starting this chapter.

* * *

**Chapter 10: I'm Going to Hell**

The sky turned to a beautiful dusty rose color and the chirping of the birds sounded melodic to my senses as I headed back toward my tent after a couple of days gorging myself on the local cuisine. I was feeling lighthearted and euphoric due to Bella's reaction to the note I left her.

When I left her the note, I had originally hoped to reassure her and allow her a good night sleep but after seeing the enormously sweet smile on her face and the heartwarming sigh that exhaled over her lips, made me feel ten feet tall. It was apparent that giving her that small piece of paper had been the right decision.

I came to a sudden halt just outside my tent as a realization smacked me in the head. I had told Bella that I needed to think, which an easy accomplishment that was. I had also told her that I needed to prepare, but how in the hell was I suppose to prepare. I know I need to ready myself to hold and touch her but the fear of harming her in anyway was excruciating. I couldn't risk any harm befalling my Bella, hence the reason I fled.

However, after seeing the proof with my own eyes of the damage I was doing to Bella I couldn't continue down this path of avoiding her. I would be lying if I said I never thought of touching Bella in the way she wanted but every time my fantasies run amok, something always was ruined and I would panic. If I could steel my self-control so I could safely be intimate with her, we would both be on cloud nine or higher.

How was I going to accomplish the feat of increasing my self-control? I ran my hands through my hair and pulled tightly, willing to tug an idea from my head – no such luck. Had I promised her something I couldn't give her? NO! There isn't a thing on the planet I couldn't give her and that included intimacy. I will learn to caress her, be passionate with her, and love her like she deserves to be.

First, I need help getting to that point. There is no way a therapist would help, they would never understand. Carlisle maybe – he's around humans all day and he has to be gentle so not to hurt them. _Hey dad, I was wondering if you could teach me how to sex-up my hot, human, girlfriend without harming her?_ I cringed and thought I would be sick at that idea. Asking Esme was out of the question. No matter what species or race you are, that is something you never want to ask your mother for help regarding.

Rosalie would be angry with me for even considering the idea before I turned Bella, so she would be no help at all. I contemplated asking Alice for all of three seconds, hearing _'you won't hurt her, I see it'_ does not help my control in the least. That left Emmett and Jasper. I cringed at the jokes Emmett would think up at the prospect of me finally losing my 'v-card' as he puts it. Could Jasper be able to assist me, he did train newborns to fight and he was an army general. I think Jasper is my best bet in this regard.

I let out a heavy sigh and it shuffled a few leaves on the forest floor in front of me. I can't believe I was about to ask my brother for help in my sex life. I sighed again before reaching into my pocket and pulling out my phone.

'_Oh, dear brother…we were sent to help you,'_ I winched at hearing Emmett's singsong greeting.

Both Emmett and Jasper emerged from the tree line to my left, each wearing a look of curiosity. "So what is it you need help with?" _'Alice told us to come.'_

I growled at the thought of my sister involving my brothers in helping me control myself so I can be intimate with Bella, which was a horrifying suggestion. I guess I could give them a shot, hope that they would understand and be serious about it, mainly Emmett.

Never in my extended life was I glad that I couldn't blush because right now the embarrassment was thick in my veins.

'_Edward, what are you so embarrassed about? We're serious about helping you in any way we can,'_ Jasper gazed at me with a crooked eyebrow as he tried to think about what I needed assistance with.

I chuckled meekly as I deliberated over the words I would use for my explanation. I glared over at Emmett and he stiffened while he thought over what he had done. "Can _you_ be serious for once and help me out?"

"Dude, of course. I'm here to help if I can," he held us three fingers and smiled. "Scouts honor."

"Emmett, that's the sign for the Girl Scouts…that explains a lot," Jasper snickered from Emmett's side and he started to flex his fingers, a frown visible on his face.

Emmett punched Jasper in the arm and Jasper quickly corrected himself so he wouldn't drop the box he was holding. "That wasn't the point Jazz."

I couldn't hold back the laugh at seeing Emmett's annoyed face. After a good minute of laughing, I managed to calm myself so I could explain to them my plight. I cleared my throat for emphasis.

"I need your help working on my self-control. I need to make it so I never have to fear hurting Bella in a moment of weakness," I turned my head away from them as I saw Emmett's eyes widen in understanding.

"You want to be able to have sex with her without worry, huh," Emmett's eyes were large as Frisbees and he pointed at me as if to accuse me of something.

"Um, Edward, I'm not sure how much we can help you. Our wives are vampires, we don't have to worry about hurting them-"

"Just the furniture," Emmett interrupted Jasper's clarification with a smirk and a thought of a broken bed, recliner, and table.

"Emmett, please, no visuals of you and Rosalie," I pinched the bridge of my nose as I willed away the images thanks to Emmett.

"Sorry," he smiled sheepishly at me then looked over at Jasper then down to the box in his hands. "Hey Jazz, what's in the box that Alice gave you?"

He shrugged then lifted the lid and stared down at the contents for a bit. _'This could have potential,'_ he reached in then held up a small whitish oval object.

"An egg?" I mumbled incredulously.

"I have an idea," Emmett grasped the egg gently then handed it me. I held the small fragile item in the palm of my hand carefully. "Let's pretend Bella is the egg. She's small, precious…" _'Fertile,'_ I glared at him. "And you have to be extremely careful not to break her shell."

"Yeah, and…" I continued to glare at him, waiting for him to make his final point.

"And…pretend the egg is Bella while you think of her. Try not to break the egg," he told me confidently.

"Ah, I see what you're getting at, who knew there was a brain in that bulbous head of yours," Jasper smirked at Emmett's glare. I stood still, on edge, staring down at the delicate oval in my hand. I was startled when Jasper placed a firm hand on my shoulder. "Let's try something…Close your eyes," I arched an eyebrow out of curiosity then followed what he said and let my eyelids slide shut. "Good, now imagine Bella in front of you," that would be easy. Imaging Bella standing in front of me smiling was my daily routine. "She starts kissing you, you kiss her back. She weaves her fingers through your hair and pulls tightly. You wrap your arms around her waist, pulling her closer. She deepens the kiss, your hands roam down to her hips, and you pull her even closer against yo-

"Damn it Edward, you were supposed to avoid breaking the egg remember," my eyes snapped open and I winced away from a glaring Jasper as he wiped away some yoke from his cheek. I glanced down to see a gooey shattered mess coating my hand.

If I couldn't even picture pressing her to me without breaking her shell, this was going to take awhile.

"Well you have the general idea down and know what you need to do – so practice!" I flinched away from Jasper as he barked his order at me. _'Practice and return to her, I can't handle the painful emotions she attempts to hide, it's driving me insane. She's our sister and you better pull your head out of your ass and hurry up.'_

I scoffed at Jasper's ranting. The brother we all worried about when he was around humans, worried that he would lapse and attack them was now standing up for one, calling her sister. I patted him firmly on the shoulder and smirked. "Trust me, I will and Bella knows it too. I can't stay away from her anymore."

"We heard about the note Edward and you had better stay true to your words or Bella won't have a mate to wait around for anymore," Emmett's words surprised me.

The very essence that is Bella was weaving into every fiber of my family and I was missing the whole process. I can't say I was surprised – Bella was laced into every pore of my body so it would only seem right that it happened to my family as well.

"We're heading home…_you_, stay and practice!" Jasper pointed down at the box of eggs on the ground with a very stern glare.

I couldn't hold back the words that spilled from my mouth, even if I tried. "Tell me, how has Bella been doing this week?"

Jasper stopped and stared at me stunned for a minute. "She's doing better. Her pain is now laced with hope thanks to the note. She had an appointment yesterday. She has been having some trouble with her friend Jacob avoiding her but she's going down to see him today after work."

"Appointment, what appointment?" I asked crassly. I had no knowledge of any appointment, was she all right? Had she been hurt while I was away and I didn't know it?

"Whoa, calm down, it's just a regular check-up, she's fine. Nothing is wrong with her." _'Except her soulmate is missing from her side,'_ there's that damn glare again.

I shooed them away, eager to get on with my practicing. Once they were finally gone and heading back toward the house, I heaved a sigh of relief. If I was to accomplish this problem with my self-control and avoid scrambling any eggs, I was going to have to endure my wildest fantasies and learn some restraint.

I had spent the rest of the day, night and part of Saturday morning pushing my limits, picturing Bella in compromising positions with less and less clothing, good thing Jasper brought a rather large box of eggs with him. I feared my inspiration was waning as I stood by the tent, since all my dreams of Bella were always the same.

After placing my phone on the solar cell phone charger, I snatched up the box of eggs and bolted for a place that I knew would help me with my Bella visualizations. When I burst through the tight line of trees into our meadow, I was brought to a shuddering halt by the assault of several ominous scents.

Bella's strawberry fragrance was the faintest, which meant she was here earlier in the day. The next scent was stronger than Bella's but still faint compared to the odor of the vampire I remembered encountering once before, one I would never forget. Why was she here, in our meadow? What did she want in this small Podunk town? Next, another scent alarmed me – a smell I hadn't encountered in decades. Four, no five different wet dog smells – the wolves are back. What caused them to shift, when did it start?

The meadow had definitely seen some action today, first Bella, then Vic…Victoria, and next the wolves. I held the box close to my chest as I tried to determine why that psycho vampire bitch was back in Forks and why the wolves were suddenly shifting. I walked around the field that seemed a bit more vibrant in color and nature than it had the last time I visited. Was it due to the note? Now that Bella and I had hope, so did the meadow, was it rejoicing as well?

As I wondered around the clearing, what frightened me was Bella's scent had pooled in the center of the meadow then Victoria's scent pooled over the top of hers. Was she back for Bella, for vengeance of some kind? I discovered that Bella had returned from the way she entered, heading back toward town. The wolves had followed Victoria's trail, venturing further into the woods.

A growl rumbled in my chest and burst forth loudly as I made a mad dash into the forest, following Bella's tantalizing aroma. I was relieved when her trail ended at the logging road that we used last spring, when I first brought her here, it was only Bella's trail – no wolves – no vampires.

The tint of the wilderness around me had darkened without me even noticing. I focused so much on the three visitors to our meadow that I hadn't detected the sun was setting rapidly behind the trees and mountains. Considering the unwanted guest in the area, I decided to go and check on Bella, make sure she was all right – at least that's what I told myself.

I rushed to my tent and deposited the box of eggs inside then sprinted for Bella's house. I was so used to being overcast and dark in Forks that I didn't realize what time it actually was until I reached the small two-story house and Bella's steady, sleeping heartbeat filled my ears. Charlie must be staying down in La Push again or still at work because his heartbeat wasn't present. Without a thought for the consequences, I leapt up to her window and slipped in silently.

I gazed down at my sleeping angel and felt a wave of tranquility wash over me. She was safe, there was a cut on her palm, probably from a fall in the woods – how had I missed that, was I too fixated on her trail to notice the blood? Other than that, she was fine and my nerves were settling down.

She squirmed slightly under her covers and moaned. A small smile inched its way across her lips and I was drawn toward them. I stopped myself as I hovered above her and watched as she bit her lip in her sleep and her back arched upwards. It was evident she was dreaming but what about had me curious. I smiled down at her even though she couldn't see me and I brushed a loose stand of hair off her cheek. Now that I knew she was unharmed, I turned and headed back toward the window.

"Mmmm…Edward…"

I froze in mid-step and turned my head slowly in Bella's direction. She was still asleep but her squirming had increased, as did her moaning.

"Please, Edward…mmmm….I have to…I want you…" was she having a dream, about me. There was a new fragrance in the room, and it drifted through the air, I inhaled deeply. The sweet, appetizing scent filled my nose, it shot straight down to my cock, and I was ashamed to say that I immediately looked like the Washington Monument.

As if a magnet existed in my right hand, on impulse it reached for Bella's cheek. The soft, delicate feel of her skin against my fingers made my already hard cock twitch in opposition to my jeans. Bella moaned again as my fingers caressed her cheek and brushed into her velvety mahogany tresses.

"God, Edward…please…I need you…" my eyes rolled into the back of my head as I let her words wash down over every part of my body. She needed me, she wanted me, she loved me, she was perfect in every sense of the word, and she was mine.

It's sad when a vampire is caught off guard, but Bella had a habit of doing just that. I was still reeling from my epiphany of how much she wanted me, that I completely missed the tugging at my pants. I nearly hit the ceiling at the sensation of a dainty and soft hand wrapping around my length. For the second time in my long life I was rendered terrified, the first being when I thought I had reach Phoenix too late to save her. Now, I was terrified again, at what I would see if I looked down at what had a hold of me.

Against my will, my eyes snapped downward when something warm and wet wrapped around my penis. Before my eyes could focus on what was occurring to my body, a sudden fluttering feeling of something I couldn't identify tightened in my groin. It was overwhelming and all consuming. I instinctively felt around for the headboard and latched onto it as if it was a lifeline to steady myself.

Every time I tried to lower my eyes to the sleeping angel on the bed below me, the warm tightening on my penis increased, nearly sending to my knees. My fingers constricted on the headboard as the growing tension in my stomach exploded like a bullet from a gun. I was stunned when I convulsed a few times while panting heavily.

My eyes slowly opened, I didn't even know they had closed, and I was shocked to see a crushed headboard. My breathing returned to normal as I stared at the splintered wood in my hand, realization of what had just happened still foggy in my mind.

"Yum…" I inhaled sharply then held my breath as I slowly turned to look at Bella. She was kneeling on her bed in front of me, her eyes dazed and drowsy, her tongue licking over lips, and then she layback down and was instantly asleep. I gazed down at her sleeping, smiling face, and she looked happy and content. From the corner of my eye, I saw my still erect cock saluting everyone from my undone jeans.

My hands shot up and pulled at my hair. Oh, my god did that just happen, did she just…oh my god. Did she just give me a…in her sleep? Fuck, my god, she did. My sweet and innocent Bella just gave me a…a blowjob. Oh. My. _Fucking._ God! I didn't hurt her – I could do this. I normally didn't use swear words but under the circumstances, no other word seemed powerful enough to describe how I was feeling.

I felt a large shit-eating grin warp my mouth as I looked down at Bella and righted my jeans and myself. I looked around her room, letting my eyes wonder randomly, taking in any changes that had happened since my freak out at the start of summer vacation. Not one thing had changed; all her books were the same, her CDs, her messy desk, the purple blankets on her bed, the smashed headboard, her rocking chair in the corner.

WAIT! Wait…what, her smashed headboard? Damn it, I guess I need more practice…and a larger box of eggs. At least it was the headboard and not her I had damaged, that's saying something about my control.

I kissed her cheek gently then leapt out the window and walked leisurely toward town, intent on waiting for the local Thriftway to open. I had some undeveloped chickens to buy because my practice was going to become more intense.

* * *

_**Chapter End Notes:**_

Before anyone asks, solar cell phone chargers do exist.

So what do you think about Edward's training regime? FYI: it gets worse and funnier.

Sorry if what Bella did to Edward wasn't very descriptive, I had a difficult time trying to find the right words to describe what was happing without being too obvious.

Next chapter is titled: Surprise! Any guesses as to what? Remember it's Bella PoV.


	11. Surprise!

I don't own anything Twilight. The idea of Bella being a mind reader is mine and a few events. Everything else belongs to Stephenie Meyers. No copyright infringement intended. Nearly all my chapters have mild language, mainly name calling.

* * *

**Chapter 11: Surprise!**

I awoke late Sunday morning with a long stretch like a cat and I seemed to have purred as I rolled on to my side to gaze out the window. I squinted and sighed at the sunshine that poured into my room, mocking me. The sun knew that my world now revolved around the shade and overcast days, and yet it shined happily down on this world, a world I felt I didn't belong in, or to.

I smiled like the Cheshire cat as I remembered the dream I'd had last night of Edward. For the first time since I had started having my almost nightly fantasies, he had finally allowed me to pleasure him, for once. I had heard about people having dreams that seemed as if they were real, but they never said anything about dreams tasting real, it was strange that I couldn't account for the strange taste in my mouth.

My dream had started out with Edward licking me from head to toe, both of us moaning as he continued his delicious and tantalizing journey. When he reached my lips again, I leaned forward, pushing him back onto his feet. I kneeled on my bed in front of him and peppered kiss after kiss on his face, down his neck, over his chest and down his stomach. I was worried that the normal Edward would take over and he would halt the intimacy before I had even fully started.

Before he could push me away, I reached down and pressed my palm against his hardened length. I was shocked when he bucked but didn't jump away from me. My boldness got the better of me and I quickly unbuttoned and unzipped his jeans. I waited a while for him to react, to grab my wrists or tell me no, but he didn't so I wrapped my fingers around his throbbing cock and swiftly placed him in my mouth.

I thought those hand-dipped strawberries Alice had bought me were exquisite. They had nothing on the taste of Edward's most intimate body part. As I moved my head and mouth up and down on his cold, solid shaft, I was reminded of sucking on a lemon popsicle. It was cold, sweet and delicious with just the right amount of tartness.

The taste of him against my tongue spurred me on, and my head bobbed faster and I sucked harder and deeper. When the popsicle exploded down my throat with a saccharine and icy nectar, I swallowed all it had to give and I couldn't hold back the smile that graced my face.

I remembered saying 'yum', licked my lips as I layed back down on my bed, and smiled up at my own personal god. His face was filled with complete bewilderment and total satisfaction and I put it there.

My musings were cut short abruptly by my phone vibrating on my nightstand and singing 'Big Bad Wolf', it was a miracle I had even managed to find the song really. I snatched up my phone and flipped it open, quickly pressing it to my ear. "Hi Jake."

"Hey Bella, um, I was hoping you could come down to La Push, I have something…to show you," his nervousness oozed out of the phone and in turn made me nervous.

"If it's a bald spot or you managed to catch your tail, I _don't_ want to see that," after what I had learned yesterday afternoon I couldn't help but tease him.

"No, I didn't catch…just come down…please," I was stunned to hear the click then dial tone. Wow, he must really want me to visit him. I mumbled under my breath dejectedly and rolled out of bed. I wobbled sleepily toward my dresser and groggily pulled on a pair of old jeans and a dark green hoodie. I sprinted into the bathroom and quickly tied my hair up in to a ponytail before I ran down the stairs.

Once at the bottom of the stairs I came to an abrupt halt. I turned my head exceedingly slowly and stared at the stairs I had just run down. My eyebrow arched as I visually walked up the partially cluttered steps. At the speed I had descended with, I should have definitely tripped or slid down the stairs, why hadn't I?

I shrugged it off as just having a good day. I sprang into the kitchen and snagged an apple off the counter then ran to the Volvo. Before I could slip into the driver seat, I noticed a small eggshell white piece of paper. I grabbed it then slid into the Volvo before I read what was on the small piece of parchment.

_Roses wither,_

_Chocolates melt,_

_Therefore, you'll get a letter,_

_Showing how I've felt._

_This is the first you'll receive,_

_I have an enormous goal to achieve._

_My frozen heart is about to burst,_

_Being away from you is the worst._

_I love you so,_

_More than you'll ever know._

_E xoxox_

I felt my heart constrict as I gazed over the beautiful words. Wait, this was only the first! Oh no, what else could he say to cause my heart to pound wildly. I was ecstatic that he was finally taking the initiative and attempting to prove his feelings for me – but at the same time there was a nagging feeling in the back of my heart that I couldn't identify. I sighed blissfully and tucked the poem into my pocket then started the car.

Twenty minutes later, I pulled up to the little red house that was my friends. I sat silently in the car, reliving and thinking about all that had happened over the last two days. It definitely wasn't what I had expected.

On Saturday, I stumbled my way to the meadow, in hope of seeing the beautiful scenery of when Edward had first brought me here – but I was sadly disappointed. It didn't have the same aura or brightness that filled my every pore with tranquility. It was dull and seemed like every other field I've seen. Disheartened, I walked back to the Volvo, falling only once, and then I returned home and spent the rest of the day reading. Nothing else had happened that day, how boring.

However, it was the day before that everything huge happened. I had learned about the full truths behind the legends, which was overly eventful. As I had told the Cullens, after work on Friday I would go see Jake face to face. I drove straight down to La Push. Of course, Billy told me Jake wasn't there – which I immediately picked up on his unease and the lie.

'_Don't tell her. She can't know about the pack. She has nothing to do with the wolves whatsoever. She's with the vampires for Christ sakes.'_

Pack? Wolves? Vampires? What in the world is going on? Isn't he taking the Quileute legends a bit far? The irritation and dishonesty came out as a sneer and I glared down at Billy. "Fine, but I'm waiting here till he shows up!" I turned quickly and stormed back to the Volvo, stumbling once.

I sat in the driver seat for hours, reclined and relaxed, listening to my iPod and waiting for my friend to make an appearance. I scoffed occasionally at Billy's random thoughts.

'_How long is she going to stay out there?'_ As long as it takes.

'_Isn't she hungry?'_ I have granola bars in my bag.

'_Why doesn't see just run back to her bloodsuckers?_' That was rude! Gee, can't I be worried about a friend who is supposed to be home sick with mono but is instead out gallivanting around, possibly making others sick. Sick my ass.

It had grown amazingly dark and the time on my phone indicated it was almost ten o'clock at night. I inclined the seat back up and palmed the steering wheel with incredible force that the steering column jerked away from the impact. Damn you Jake. I cringed as I realized I had just hit Edward's car out of anger at someone else.

To prevent any actual damage to the beloved Volvo, I quickly extricated myself from the vehicle, careful not to slam the door in frustration. Without much thought, I kicked a rock hard into the nearby forest then spun around in search of another object to vent on. I found another rock and pitched it into the trees with as much strength as I possessed.

"OWW!" _'What the hell?'_

I turned swiftly back to the forest and saw Jacob emerge in only a pair of shorts and sneakers, rubbing his head. His once long and flowing raven black hair chopped off, almost buzzed. I couldn't help but stare at the changes my friend had gone through – he even had a tattoo.

His eyes widened as they locked on me. "Bella?" _'Oh shit!'_

"Where the hell have you been? Why have you been avoiding me, I thought we were friends? I thought you were sick and here you are playing outside," his eyes narrowed while I snapped at him, if he was annoyed – well that was too bad.

"I haven't been playing, I've been…" he cut himself off and his eyes darted to the ground to my left. _'I've been protecting you from the bloodsucker.'_

Why would he need to protect me from the Cullens? How was he planning to protect me from a vampire anyway? Run him over with the Rabbit? Why can't people just say what they're thinking, then I wouldn't have to use my gift. I crossed my arms over my chest and glared at him. "So where have you been and why have you been avoiding me?"

"Why does it matter?" he walked around me and stalked toward the house. _'I can't be around her anymore anyways. I don't want to risk getting angry and accidently hurting her.'_

Getting angry – what, was he the incredible Hulk now? My irritation was starting to hit an all time high – not as bad as with Edward that one night, but still high. "It matters because you are my friend and I worry about you!"

'_Friend, huh,'_ Jacob stood perfectly still as I walked a circle around him, repeatedly – fuming that he wouldn't tell me anything, verbally and mentally.

"I'm sorry Bella, I can't be your friend anymore," I stopped suddenly and gazed at him in shock, opening my mind so I could take in all his thoughts. _'I'm so sorry, just please go. It's safer this way, just run back home…why in the hell is she dating a vampire? Doesn't she know they could kill her as much as I could?'_

What the…I never told Jake that Edward is a vampire, how did he know? I shook my head from side to side as if to rid my mind of the ridiculous idea and I giggled sarcastically. "What do you mean – you can't be my friend anymore. I don't think Billy would be that mad at me for taking you to a rated R movie that he-"

"I. Just. Can't. It's too dangerous," his chin fell to his chest and he closed his eyes tightly. _'I don't want to risk phasing into a wolf around you and possibly injure you, like Sam did to Emily. I wish it was just a case of mono.'_

Wolf? Oh, like in the tribe's legends. Well their stories of the Cold Ones is true so why not the one about them shifting into wolves. I have a vampire boyfriend, a demon pixie for a best friend, so why can't I have a friend that's a werewolf – I mean seriously. Did he hit his head on a tree or something?

"Let me get this straight. You think because you're a werewolf that you're incapable of being my friend?" I crossed my arms, stared off into the blackened forest, and waited for him to absorb my words.

"What…how…who…I didn't…huh," his expression was priceless as he gawked widely at me, at a complete lose.

"You forgot where and why," I held up my hand and started to examine my nails nonchalantly. "You did tell me about the legends remember. There has to be some truth behind myths don't you think and there has been talk about giant dogs at work."

He stood staring at me, mouth open wide, and speechless. "Yeah, but…I mean-"

"Jake, don't hurt yourself. God, I hope you aren't one of the dogs killing people," I tilted my head downward and shook it violently.

"WHAT! GOD NO! Our sole purpose is to kill vampires, there's been a crazy redheaded woman running around Forks. We're always a few seconds too late, we can't figure out why she's here though," he threw his hand up in self-defense and tried to relieve my suspicions. _'She'll never stick around for very long, it's like she's looking for something.'_ I cringed at the memory of a redheaded vampire sneering at me from the side of her psychotic blond mate.

"I have a feeling, she wants Edward, or possibly, me," Jake's eyebrows almost hit the sky and looked confused so I felt the need to explain. "When I was in Cancun, her mate wanted my blood and followed me there. He almost got it all but he only just barely bit me when Edward showed up and killed him first."

'_So, that's what's up with her crescent scar on her wrist,'_ I involuntarily pulled my sleeve down over my hand at the mention of the bite James gave me. "Edward sucked out the venom and stopped me from changing."

One eyebrow arched when I sighed and looked off to the side. _'Why does it sound like she wanted to change?'_

After that, we talked about when he had first gotten 'sick' and learned that the legends of his tribe were true and he was living proof of that. He told me that it was his alpha's order not to tell anyone and to avoid me for my own safety. While we leaned against the Volvo talking there was something itching in the back of my brain, clawing to get out, so I finally released it.

"When did the Quileutes start phasing? I didn't hear about any large dogs till fairly recently?" I crossed my arms over my chest and glanced at him from the corner of my eye. He reached up and started scratching his head absent-mindedly.

"Um, I was told about spring break time, when those three nomads as you call them showed up. Sam was the first then Paul, then Jared. Since the Cullens don't pose a threat to humans or us, they don't cause us to shift. Once the three with red-eyes showed up and started killing people, the phasing began," he looked relieved and yet he seemed to be on edge. "Why Embry and I have phased we don't know. There were three nomads and three wolves, now there is only one bloodsucker and five wolves. We fear were missing something."

Those did seem to be some strange odds.

"Bella, are you going to stay in the car all day or do you want to see the surprise?" I startled from my memory and glanced up to see Jacob nodding his head toward his garage. _'She better like it or I'm really going to be put out.'_

I let out a heavy sigh, exited the Volvo and walked very slowly toward the shop. Somewhere in the back of my head, I had the sinking feeling that Jacob had gotten me something. I reached the garage door and gave it a small push and it opened slowly and noisily. I inched inside and saw Jake standing in a corner looking down into a pen and I hesitantly walked up behind him.

I gazed down into the small makeshift corral and began wondering what I was looking at. The enclosure had hay strewn around, there was a small bowl of water and a bowl of what looked like dog food. In the far corner of the enclosure was a small grayish white dust bunny thing.

"What do you think?" Jake's eyes focused in on my face and I continued to stare at the grayish fuzzy mass.

"Of what, is it a rabbit?" I asked him, honestly confused as to what I was looking at.

Jacob grumbled loudly then stepped over the fencing, took a small step over to the fuzzy heap and lifted it up so I could stare at it. A small pink tongue stretched out between white teeth in what looked like a yawn. Two fuzzy ears poked forward slightly and two gold eyes emerged and gazed at me*.

It took all of three seconds for my heart to fall head over heels for the small ball of grayish white fur. "Jake, you got a dog! He's so adorable."

"Um actually he is a she and she's not mine, I got her for you," I literally felt my heart jump into my throat as I reached out slowly to stroke her soft fur. _'Please say you'll take her.'_

She lifted her head into my hand as my fingers brushed her coat. Jake handed her forward for me to take her, which I did in a heartbeat. I cradled her to my chest and gazed into her trusting golden eyes. She tilted her head upward slightly and her small pink tongue grazed my chin.

My heart did a flip-flop at the show of trust and love. I was without a doubt hooked. "I'll definitely take her…she's not a cousin of yours is she?"

He hunched his shoulders toward his ears. "In a matter of speaking, sort of, she is three quarters wolf but the other quarter is husky." _'That is such a wrong question to ask, but at least she likes her present.'_

I cuddled the puppy in my arms, loving the softness of her fur, the smell of her puppy breath when she yawned and the loyalty that was already growing in her eyes. "Oh Jake, I absolutely love her, thank you."

Jacob let out a sigh of relief then grinned widely. "I'm glad."

We talked for about another hour while I played with the puppy and we bonded. Eventually Jake had to help his father to an appointment and I placed the pup in the passenger seat of the car and headed for the small pet store in the center of town.

When I arrived at the store, the pup was asleep on the seat so I quietly snuck away. I quickly bought some food, a collar, leash, bone and a couple dishes. I had a feeling she was going to be spoiled. I had a goldfish once when I was younger but it eventually died of old age at almost ten years old, this was definitely an upgrade. I returned to the car, deposited the bags onto the back seat, and a loud whimper startled me.

I glanced over and saw lonely gold eyes looking up at me. I swiftly took my seat and pulled the little fur ball into my arms, reassuring her. "It's alright – I just had to get you some things. Shall we go and introduce you to some special friends of mine?" she started licking my face eagerly, I giggled and took that as a yes.

I placed her back in the seat and drove out of the parking lot and down the highway. Once I knew I was close enough for super hearing to take notice of me, I gave my warning. "I'm bringing a new friend, please don't eat her."

'_Oh my god, Bella is bringing a friend, I wonder who it is…wait why would she say not to eat her?'_ Poor Esme was now in a panic.

'_Does she need a makeover?'_ Leave it to Alice to think of clothes.

'_Why would Bella be bringing someone here, it's not exactly safe,'_ Jasper, you really need to calm down.

'_Bring her on little sis,'_ Emmett was almost laughable.

I stopped the car in front of the house and pulled the pup into my arms then headed for the house. I strolled up the steps and walked in through the front door, five vampires froze, and one puppy whimpered and squirmed in my arms.

"You brought us dinner?"

"God Emmett no, Jake just gave her to me. I had hoped to introduce you, maybe get past the whole predator/pray thing with her. Maybe you guys can help me name her as well," I glared at Emmett as I tried to sooth the shaking ball of fur in my arms.

Alice pranced up to me and held her hand out to the puppy to smell, which she did hesitantly. "What about Prada or Vera or Dolce or-"

"NO, thank you, not those," I nearly snapped.

Emmett was the next to attempt kindness to my new friend. He walked up slowly and let her sniff his hand before he rubbed her chin, which she seemed to enjoy. "How about Balto or White Fang?"

"Emmett, she's a girl remember," his mouth formed a large 'O'. He shrugged with a sheepish grin and scratched at the pup's ear. "And talk about cliché."

I placed her on the floor and she stayed tucked in between my feet. Esme walked over and kneeled down in front of her. "Aren't you a cutie," Esme cooed as she reached out slowly to let the puppy smell her also then ran her fingers over her fur. "May I make a suggestion?" I nodded eagerly, knowing Esme's ideas wouldn't be based off movies or designers. She gazed up at me as she kept her hand on the small dog's head. "Why not name her after something _you_ like? Like a book, an author, or a character."

My eyes widened as I realized it was the perfect idea, now the question was who. I sat down on the floor and stared at my new pet intently, and she stared back at me then tilted her head to the side as if questioning my actions. I was thinking so hard I hadn't noticed that Alice, Emmett and Jasper had taken a seat on the floor around me until my puppy started sauntering around the odd circle, breathing in everyone's scent.

'_Careful, I think I'm starting to see smoke,'_ I stuck my tongue out at Jasper and he chuckled.

I threw my hands into my hair and messed it up as I pulled on it. "AHHH, there are so many possibilities. Jane, Emily, Austen, Kitty, Elizabeth…"

"Seriously Bella, use your head. What's your favorite book?" Rosalie hollered as she strolled in from the garage.

"Wuthering Heights."

"And who is the author?" she asked as she joined us in the circle.

"Emily Brontë…" Emmett was carefully using his hand to wrestle with the nameless animal in front of me. I smiled at Rosalie as she reached over to have her turn with the puppy. "Rose, you did it. You and Esme helped me think of a name," I glanced over and saw the pup yawn then settled down against Jasper's leg. "Brontë," she tilted her head toward me at hearing the name then snuggled her face down on her paw and quickly fell asleep.

"Oh Bella, that's a perfect name," Esme clasped her hands together and smiled down sweetly.

I pulled my phone from my pocket and received several questioning glances, except Alice of course. "I'm calling Angela, see if she wants to go to park and see Brontë?"

Everyone went silent when the phone started ringing.

"Hello?" Angela's voice sounded over the line and she seemed to be laughing.

"Hi Ange, I was wondering if you would like to meet my new dog and maybe go to the park?" I asked and reached over and ran my fingers through Brontë's fairly long wolf-like fur.

"Um, well, I can't do that until the end of August. I'm spending the summer with Ben's family in Kentucky. I'm sorry," her tone was apologetic with a hint of sorrow, which didn't make for a good cocktail.

"Oh, that's alright. Are you having fun?" I was a little saddened that my one good _human_ friend was unavailable.

"Yeah…" she started laughing uncontrollably and screaming. "Sorry Bella, I have to go, Ben's attacking me with a squirt gun…"

Before I could respond there was a dial tone – what is it with people hanging up on me lately? I sighed and clicked my phone shut then glanced over to the sleeping Brontë. I was mortified at what I saw.

"Alice, get those out of her fur, NOW!" There was a bright purple bow on each ear and another at the tip of her tail.

'_Spoil sport!'_ Alice glared at me then started carefully removing the bows. _'There are still other things I can do for her.'_

'_Bella, I was noticing your agility seems to have improved. Would you mind if I took some blood and did some tests?'_ I stared up at Carlisle quizzically. He had been so quiet since I arrived that I almost forgot he was here. _'Normally you would trip on the first step on the porch and since you didn't it got me thinking.'_

At least I wasn't the only one who noticed my improved grace – I was a bit curious about it myself. I sighed then stood up and followed Carlisle toward his study, five pairs of eyes following me. "I'm to be a lab rat for a minute," the room erupted into laughter at my statement. Oh, sure, funny ha ha.

After Carlisle had his blood sample and the minor bleeding stopped, I returned to the living room. I had to bite my lip from laughing aloud at the sight before me. Emmett was tossing a small stick between Alice, and Jasper trying to avoid Brontë from grabbing it. Unfortunately, for them, it failed. Brontë grabbed the stick midair and ran around the couch then around behind Esme, wagging her tail excitedly. Alice lunged for her at human speed and Brontë's teeth tightened on the stick and she leapt to hide behind my legs, tail still wagging vigorously.

I rolled my eyes and smirked down at the happy and excited puppy. "Great, now I'm the safe zone," Brontë dropped her stick and yipped at me and her tongue lolled from her mouth, there was a definite smile on her muzzle. The room erupted into laughter at her antics.

'_Well, it seems she's comfortable around us,'_ stated Alice from her lounging position on the floor. She was on her stomach with her outstretched hand inching slowly toward the stick.

I burst out laughing when Brontë snatched up the stick just before Alice tried to grab it and darted over behind Rosalie, who reached back and ran her hand down Brontë's back. She turned on Alice and growled at her through her teeth, stick in her mouth, tail swishing behind her.

"I think she likes you Rose," Emmett stated as he pretended to wipe a tear off his cheek from laughing so hard.

I walked over, lifted Brontë into my arms, and looked down into her rich golden eyes. "You can't image how thrilled I am that you are all getting along. I was worried that she would be constantly scared or some would want to eat her," I glanced at Emmett on my last words.

"Bella, you have nothing to fear from us. Not only do we avoid feeding on the young but she's _your_ pet, she family," Esme placed a hand on my shoulder and smiled sweetly before raising her other hand and scratching Brontë's ear.

"Thank you Esme," I returned her smile then glanced around to the others in the room. "Thank you everyone. I need to get home now, Charlie is supposed to be home tonight and I want to make him dinner," we all said our goodnights and I placed Brontë in the passenger seat of the Volvo again.

'_Wonder what I can buy for Brontë?'_

I cringed at Alice's random internal question. "Alice, Brontë is fine, she doesn't need anything," Alice simply waved her hand and returned inside the house, leaving me with a feeling of dread and foreboding.

After entering my house, I went about placing a bowl of water and food out for Brontë and she dove right in, guess she worked up an appetite playing keep away from three vampires. While Brontë was eating, I went about putting together homemade lasagna, garlic bread and a salad.

In about an hour, I heard the cruiser pull up to the house and in another five minutes Charlie was walking through the door.

'_Wow, Bells, that smells delicious,'_ Charlie walked in while sniffing at the air. He was startled at a quiet growling sound from the tiny puffball in front of me. "What the…when did you…why…?" _'Huh?'_

I scoffed at his stuttering then picked Brontë up. "Dad, Jake gave me a puppy today. This is Brontë."

'_Oh, well um, okay,'_ he hesitantly lifted his arm and let her smell his hand, she calmed immediately. "She's really protective of you all ready, but that's a good thing."

We both chuckled slightly as I placed Brontë back on her feet and turned to dish up dinner. After dinner was eaten and the dishes washed, I took Brontë outside to relieve herself and returned inside. I said goodnight and headed up the stairs, Brontë following happily behind me.

As soon as I walked into my room, my eyes landed upon the demolished headboard. I instinctively and automatically scanned the room for a wayward, pale, mythical boyfriend. I literally felt my heart fall to my feet and rolled around the wood floor. I slumped down on the bed and stared blankly out the window.

I'm positive Edward broke my headboard but why had he done it? It had to have been sometime today because it was still in a solid piece last night when I went to sleep. So when had he been in my room and for what reason?

There was a wet rough feeling on my hand and I glanced down to see Brontë licking my hand, her ears laying back. She seemed to have picked-up on my depressive emotion and was attempting to comfort me. I smiled down at her then picked her up and lay down on the bed with her curled up against my chest, wrapped in my arms.

Unbeknownst to me, a tear slid down my cheek as I drifted into a dreamless slumber.

* * *

_**Chapter End Notes:**_

So, what did you all think of Bella's dream? Any idea as to what her _'nagging feeling'_ in her heart is? Why in the world has Bella's agility increased? I already know why, but I'm curious to see if anyone else can guess the reason.

I hope everyone approves of the way I integrated the way Bella found out about the wolves. I also fixed a plot hole from SM's version - when the wolves started changing and why. I mean think about it - the Cullens have been in Forks for 2 years in Twilight and they didn't shift then so why now, what was the catalyst...am I right?

Please tell me what you think about the new love in Bella's life, and her name? FYI: Bronte is actually played by Timber. He's my 3 1/2yo wolf/husky. I've had him since he was 6/7 weeks old so I have lots of pics. I love him dearly and wanted Bella to know the same kind of love and loyalty. I think Bronte will bring some interesting plot twists to the story.


	12. You're NOT Buddha!

I don't own anything Twilight. The idea of Bella being a mind reader is mine and a few events. Everything else belongs to Stephenie Meyers. No copyright infringement intended. Nearly all my chapters have mild language, mainly name calling. The idea for using something else other than eggs came from my aunt gsmith56, I hope your happy, it was a nice idea to change things up a bit.

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Chapter 12: You're NOT Buddha!**

All things considered, I should be overwhelmed and drowning in shame. I mean think about it! During the era I was born into and grew up in until I was seventeen, the thing that Bella had just done to me was never heard of in my social circle. Those types of things were reserved for burlesques and loose women, which Bella definitely didn't fall into that category.

I vaguely remember my friends when I was living in Chicago had confessed to visiting such places and tried to convince me to go, just so I could learn the pleasures that a woman could do with her mouth. I had been taught; _never_ treat a woman like your lesser – for without them there was no way we men could survive. Now that I have known Bella and have learned about love, I totally understand my father's words.

Throughout my ninety plus years of bearing witness into numerous male minds against my will, I had seen their thoughts morph during the passing decades. When married couples had only known a handful of sexual positions and then changed to casual partners and hundreds of pleasurable options. My family didn't help in my unwillingness to grow a perverse mental dictionary either.

To say I was mortified with Bella's actions was an understatement. Never in my wildest dreams – okay, maybe my wildest – but never in my purest had I ever imagined Bella doing what she had to me, I just wonder if she'll remember come morning.

If I said I hadn't enjoyed Bella's ministrations to my person, that would make me the world's biggest liar. I unquestionably loved having her soft, warm and wet mouth wrapped around my hardened cock – if possible, it would happen again – when she was awake though.

Damn it! Just remembering last night's activities made me achingly stiff in the crotch area. There was no doubt about it – I was absolutely going to have to step up my training régime if I was to touch her intimately without hurting her.

I stood hidden in the trees behind the grocery store trying to calm my rigid ardor, I would not want to enter town with a 'stiffy' for everyone to see. Once I was back to my normal state, I casually walked around the large building and walked through the automatic glass doors.

After reading the signs hanging from the ceiling, I walked directly to the back to fill my cart with several dozens of eggs. I was shocked to a standstill at what I saw. I grabbed the nearest stock boy and pulled him to the shelves.

"Where are all the eggs?" I questioned.

"A small girl came in first thing this morning and bought them all," an image of a spiky haired dwarf danced around in his head. Alice! _'She was cute too.'_

I glared at the empty shelves of where the eggs should be. "Is there anything else I could use that is delicate and needs to be handled with care?"

The boy got a far off look as food items flashed in his mind. "Um, there are berries, tomatoes, or filled donuts. You have to be careful with those or you make a mess," he then remembered when his little brother got a hold of a tomato, that was messy.

"Thanks, I'll try those," I headed over to the produce section and filled the cart with all the tomatoes they had. I figured tomatoes would be better because berries were too small and donuts put up too much resistance.

I finished my trip to the market then returned quickly to the tent to start my vigorous preparation. I went through nearly a dozen tomatoes just remembering the blowjob I had received last night; this was going to take awhile.

'_I can't believe Alice is making me come out here!'_

Hearing Rosalie's frustrating ranting put an immediate halt on my fantasizing. I placed the red orb back in the bag and waited for Rose to appear through the trees. When she did make her appearance, her expression told me she was far from happy being here.

She stood about four yards in front of me, arms crossed over her chest, scowling darkly at me. "You already know that my thoughts match the rest of the family's so I have no idea why I was sent here in the first place." _'I sure hope that isn't blood you're covered in?'_

I bit back a laugh at her pouting face. From the very day that Bella stormed into our lives Rosalie had befriended her, Rosalie never did that, none of us did that really. However, with Alice's gift of foresight, we knew who would be joining our little family, one way or another. Moreover, with Bella's gift, there was no way of keeping the secret of what we are a secret for very long. Between their two gifts, there was only one option, bring her into the family, but that didn't mean I had to like the idea of her changing.

I shrugged my shoulders casually then smiled and batted my eyelashes at her sweetly. "Maybe so you can say hi to your dear brother?"

"HA! After what you did to Bella, you're lucky I don't go over there and rip off the most sensitive part of your body!" Rose growled at me and flailed her arms as she spoke. "What were you thinking anyways? Have the Denali sisters told you nothing? They're with human males all the time and not one of them was killed or even injured!"

Her statements wiped the cheesy grin right off my face and I scowled at her. "They probably didn't care for the men like I care for Bella so they didn't worry about hurting them. Besides, the men do all the work, and they don't have to worry about hurting vampires," before I could blink I was thrust up against a large pine tree by Rosalie, she was holding my neck with her manicured hand and growling at me viciously.

"The men _do not_ do all the work, it's a give and take, it's an equal opportunity activity," she hissed and she deliberately remembered various positions between Emmett and her, most of which were of her on top. I cringed away from her and her sickening memories. "And do you honestly believe that only vampires can hurt humans? You're the mind reader, how many humans have hurt or killed other humans, huh?" She then let me witness her foggy human memories of when her fiancé Royce had humiliated, attacked, and raped her with several of his friends then left her to die.

I turned my head away from her as a feeling of shame wrapped around me for seeing a memory I felt I shouldn't watch, something that was beyond private and should never be unlocked.

'_For once, I'm glad you can't block out the thoughts because you need to see this. Humans are just as dangerous if not worse than you are. We trust you – Bella trusts you…trust yourself!'_ Her grip on my neck loosened and released me. She took a couple steps back and looked at me with sad pained eyes. "You need to return to Bella, NOW!"

"I will Rose, as soon as I have enough control. Even if the Denali sisters are okay with taking a chance with a human, I'm not," I stated roughly, while I returned to the grocery bag filled with tomatoes.

She crossed her arms and continued her malicious glare directed at me. "More control, than what you have now? Make a note Edward, YOU'RE NOT BUDDHA!" I snickered at her comparison. I knew I wasn't Buddha that's why I needed more control. She sighed as she looked forlornly into the forest. "Now isn't the best time to be playing with fruit Edward. Victoria is back and there is a werewolf doing _your_ job protecting _your_ girlfriend!"

I stilled as I reached into bag. Did she just say Victoria was back and there is a werewolf protecting my Bella? What happened? I rounded on Rosalie, panic quickly rising in my veins. "What do you mean Victoria is back and there is a wolf watching after Bella? What happened, did Alice see something?"

Rose flinched at the volume and intensity of my voice. "Actually, Alice didn't see anything and she's really upset about it. She saw Bella and Jake go to the movies last Friday night but nothing else regarding the boy, now we know why. Bella called Friday night and informed us that her friend Jacob had started shifting into a wolf and that Victoria was searching for something around Forks. Bella thinks it's you or her that Victoria's after, most likely for revenge. Apparently, the pack has been chasing Victoria all around the area for a while – I'm a bit surprised that you haven't run across their scents yet."

I'm not all that surprised that I haven't come upon any of them either. Not only have I not gone very far for hunting but also I've been here schooling myself on control. "I've only been within a mile of town and only on our land for hunting or here with the eggs and tomatoes."

"Well I guess that would explain why you don't really know what's going on in the world around you," I winced at the realization that she was right, about everything.

I _should_ be with Bella, laughing, touching, kissing and just being in each other's company. I _should_ be the one to protect her from the scary human eating vampires. I _should_ be chasing after the crazed, revenge driven threat. I _should_ be the one making her feel protected and loved, not that fleabag. But nooo! I'm out here, in the middle of nowhere making scrambled eggs and tomato sauce. I glanced between the bags of tomatoes to Rosalie to the trees, and continued that cycle a few more times.

After I scowled at the tree line and growled, I turned to Rose. "I'm going after that redheaded bitch then I'm coming back here and worshipping Bella like she deserves."

"You should know already, Bella doesn't want to be worshipped, she just wants you – don't ask me why, but she does," she shooed me away then turned and walked casually into the forest toward the house. _'You better keep your word or I will hunt you down and make you a eunuch!'_

She would too, of that I was certain.

Once Rosalie was gone, I stowed the grocery bags inside my tent and then dashed into the forest. I decided to check the campsites that Rose had mentioned in her head. There had to be some evidence there as to the location of the vengeful bitch.

After finding the first three sites and following Victoria's scent and human blood to a halt at an intense stream, I felt my hopes of finding her turn to dust – every time. I leapt to the other side of the stream in hopes of picking up her trail, after looking for nearly three hours – no such luck. I growled loudly then pushed over a couple of huge pine trees out of frustration.

Now I understand why the wolves have been having a difficult time tracking this insane woman. Just like during spring break when the others stayed here to search for her while the rest of us went to Cancun – even then, she seemed to have a gift for evading problematic situations.

Aggravated beyond reasoning, I headed back toward Forks slowly. I can't tell you how many times I ran my hands through my hair and pulled hard on the tendrils, hoping to extract some idea of how to get Victoria from the coppery strands. Each step I took brought me closer to Bella and further from any solution of obtaining the threatening menace.

As I got closer and closer to my love's house, I became aware of an unusual scent floating around the air surrounding her home. It reminded me of the smell at Bella's workplace but there was a wild side to it, something woodsy and exotic. It increased with each step I took and it was nearly overpowering outside her bedroom window.

I hurried up to Bella's window and opened it, ready to pull myself through when I heard a very low, guttural growling coming from the bed. Was Bella growling at me? My eyes shot over to the bed immediately, searching for the source behind the hostile snarl.

There, cuddled up against Bella's chest, wrapped in her arms was a small grayish dust bunny. I maneuvered inside a little more and the growl increased in volume, I halted instantaneously. I was surprised that despite how loud the dog was snarling at me, Bella remained asleep, I decided I should retreat for now.

My phone vibrated in my pocket and I slowly inched back outside, leaving the unfriendly varmint where it was. After a quick glance at the phone's ID, I answered it in annoyance. "What Alice?"

"Smart move Edward!"

"What are you talking about?" Alice confused me sometimes.

I made out her heavy sighing before she spoke rather gruffly. "Leaving Bella's room, duh! I saw a vision of Brontë attacking you, you retaliating, and Bella waking just as you hit Brontë across the room killing her. Not a good thing in Bella's eyes."

I'm sure that Brontë was that overgrown rat on the bed but I wanted to make certain and learn why Bella would get a dog. "So that thing in Bella's arms is Brontë, why in the world would she get a dog?"

"She was a gift from Jacob. Bella brought her over today and we all have gotten to know her. She's fine with all of us but apparently, she doesn't like you," I could swear she was snickering on the other end.

"Yeah, apparently," I snapped back at her, annoyance wearing down on me. "I have to go."

"Wait, no you-"

I shut my phone, successfully ending the call. I gazed up at Bella's window from my spot on the ground. I growled viciously and turned from her house aggressively, stalking back toward my tent, angrily. What the hell was I doing wrong? She'd take gifts from that mutt but not me, what is wrong with this picture. I'm her boyfriend for Christ sakes. She should appreciate anything I gave her. I stopped dead in my tracks as realization dawned on me.

That wasn't who Bella was. She could care less about a thousand-dollar ring or a million dollar home. It was the gifts from the heart that she loved the most; like when I had composed the song for her, or the notes, and the puppy. I really need to remember that and you'd think with my vampire memory, I would.

I jumped into the tent and ripped out a small piece of paper from my journal and promptly but effectively jotted down another poem for Bella. Once my thoughts and feelings were down on paper, I quickly sprinted back to Bella's and placed the note inside the Volvo on the seat. I hid in the trees just as Bella exited the house, Brontë following close behind.

Bella opened the driver side door of the car and snatched up the poem before her dog could jump on it. Brontë scurried over to the passenger seat and Bella sat down behind the wheel. Her heartbeat increased as she read over the poem and a heart-stopping smile grew on her face, she truly loved the sentimental things.

I watched as she pulled out of her drive and headed down the road toward work. While staying hidden in the trees, I followed her – the urge to gaze upon her almost overwhelming. I smiled when she reached her workplace and started playing a little with the pup before heading inside.

Now that she was behind a brick wall and glass, I couldn't see her and I could only hear the vets thinking, which was very annoying.

'_Wow, Bella got a dog. Wait, I think I fixed her mother last week,'_ thank goodness I had superior hearing as well. "Bella, when did you get a puppy, she's a sweetheart," he leaned down and petted the top of her head.

"Yesterday, a friend in La Push gave her to me. Her name is Brontë, I was hoping to get her a checkup and her shots during some down time," Bella sounded chipper in her request.

"Absolutely, the first app isn't for another hour, let's check her now. By the way, fitting name considering the books you're always reading," he ushered Bella into the back and Brontë followed cheerfully. _'Gee, I've never seen a dog take to its owner so quickly. Oh well, its Bella, she has a way with animals.'_

Thanks to the doctor's thoughts, I couldn't hold back the snicker. Bella certainly did have a way with animals. She was friends with a werewolf, heck – she tamed the beast in _me_ even.

'_Oh crap, Cullen!'_

I turned at the mental cursing. I was both shocked and annoyed. Shocked to see I was now standing on the sidewalk across the street from the clinic. Annoyed, that it was Mike Newton that had stumbled across me.

"Haven't seen you around lately," he smirked and looked off to the side blankly. _'I heard you dumped Bella because she wouldn't sleep with you. Probably saving herself for moi.'_

I clenched my fists in my pockets and bit my lips to keep from snapping the kid's neck – he couldn't be further from the truth. "I've been up north helping some friends."

"So does Bella know your back? Are you two still together?" _'Please say no so I can wipe her off her feet and on to her back,'_ he then started to imagine Bella naked and sweating from beneath him.

He was making it harder and harder not to do him bodily harm. "We never broke up and yes she knows I'm here," I never left and she knew it actually.

"Oh," he shrugged and started walking away. _'Of course that doesn't mean I can't still wear her down so she'll eventually get with me. Jess was a lousy lay but I'm positive Bella is a hell cat in the sack.'_

That did it! I ripped a hole in my jean pockets and a rather loud growl erupted while I glared at the boy. He stopped walking and turned toward me with a raised eyebrow.

"Did you just growl at me? Are you an animal or something?" he turned back around and walked away, laughing. I have never wanted to kill someone so badly until I met Mike Newton. The way he regarded women was disgusting and the way he thought about Bella made me want to rip his head clean off his neck. Yes, I am an animal actually!

It would never happen, he would never touch my Bella, and he would never contaminate her with his presence – if I could help it. I peered inside the clinic one last time, glad to see that Bella was doing better and looked happier. Once I felt I had gazed upon Bella enough to fill my heart – for now anyway – I turned and ran back for my tent.

I had a goal to accomplish and even if it killed me, again, I would reach it. Bella would never be beneath that egotistic, ill-mannered, male chauvinist pig of a jock. Bella _will_ be lying with me, screaming _my_ name, begging _me_ for a release, panting I love you into _my_ ear.

I will make Bella mine in every way possible and soon.

* * *

_**Chapter End Notes:**_

I told you I wasn't done with Mike and I'm not, not until it sinks in that he will_ never_ be with Bella - I'm thinking book 3 or 4. Next chapter will be filled with one surprise after another, any guesses. I love playing guessing games, can't you tell. And yes, you'll learn what the poem said in the next chapter.


	13. Conflict

I don't own. I'm just enjoying playing around with SM's creation.

* * *

**Chapter 13: Conflict**

This had definitely been one hell of a day.

First, I received another poem from Edward – that was a good thing. Secondly, Mike shows up at my work with nothing but complaining thoughts about my choice in a lover and belittling curses toward the man I love. Thirdly, my dad calls me at work to inform me that he was a conference tomorrow so he's leaving tonight for Seattle. Fourthly, Alice called me to rant about she was so happy that I was going to be staying with them all week. Fifthly, Brontë decided she wanted to play keep away with my socks and underwear while I was at home packing for the week at the Cullens.

Thanks to Edward's notes and poems of his eminent return, I was comfortable in his bedroom again – which is a good thing because I didn't want to sleep in someone else's bed or the couch. That is where I currently am, lying in the center of his bed, rereading his poem from earlier.

_The frigid night is extremely long,_

_Without any whispered I love you song._

_Soon I'll have accomplished my goal,_

_Then I'll combine our lonely souls._

_Please, wait for me my love,_

_I'll show I don't need kid gloves,_

_While I caress you from above._

_Edward xoxox_

There was something almost erotic about his choice of words. What in the world was he trying to do? What was this goal he spoke of?

'_Bella, there is something wrong with Brontë…'_ Alice's thought ripped me from my mental dilemma and I could hear Brontë howling from downstairs. '_She won't stop crying out!'_

Worried that something had happened or she was having an adverse reaction to her vaccinations from earlier, I literally flew down the stairs. Down to the second floor…and down to the first floor. The instant my feet hit the floor at the bottom of the steps a fluff ball assaulted me.

I kneeled down to pet Brontë and she whimpered as she rubbed her head on my leg forcefully. "I guess she missed me."

Alice stared at us with a raised eyebrow and arms crossed. "I guess so. Oh by the way Bella, we're having visitors tomorrow," she said simply before walking past me up the stairs.

It was now my turn to arch my eyebrows at her and I hollered after her. "Anyone I know?"

She shrugged her shoulders nonchalantly as she rounded the corner on the second floor, out of my view. _'Maybe.'_

Why that stubborn, cryptic, frustrating imp? Maybe! So, I might know whoever it is, since she said maybe that pretty much confirmed it as a yes. The question now is who it could be; I mean who would visit a house full of vampires, besides me of course – other vampires maybe? If other vampires were visiting, I shouldn't be here, for fear of my own safety. I should probably stay at Charlie's until they leave.

"Don't. You. Dare. Leave!" I cringed at Alice's verbal shouting.

Emmett glanced over to me from his game with sad, sagging puppy dog eyes. "You were going to leave?" _'Please don't go, you'll miss all the fun and I was going to make you dinner tonight.'_

I squirmed underneath his pleading and penetrating gaze. Well crap, even if I wanted to leave there is absolutely _no_ _way_ Emmett would allow that. "No Emmett, I'm not going anywhere. It was just a passing thought I had due to Alice being a secretive little monster."

He nodded his head in understanding. "Don't worry, the visitor isn't anyone to worry about, they've been our friends for years," he said coolly then turned back around to attempt to beat Jasper at their game.

'_He's right. Just calm down, relax and breathe. If we had anything to worry about than we wouldn't even allow them to visit at all," _Jasper told me without looking at me and a peaceful feeling spread over me.

I glared at him as I stood up and headed for the back door. "Jazz, you're a butthead that needs to leave my emotions alone," him and Emmett erupted into laughter and I ignored them and headed out to the yard with Brontë.

It had only been two days with Brontë and so far we were practically inseparable and the one time we were apart, she howled insistently until I returned. Maybe it was the wolf in her that made her so loyal, well, there is another wolf I know that would risk his life for mine – so that must be it. After Brontë had relieved herself behind some bushes – who would have guessed a dog would be modest – and fetched a stick repeatedly, to the point that I was exhausted, we stumbled inside and plopped down on the living room carpet.

"So Emmett, what are you making for my dinner?" I managed to get out between pants while Brontë rested her head on top of my stomach.

Emmett beamed an enormous smile down at me before he sprinted into the kitchen. I tilted my head up off the floor to look at him when he started mentally singing. _'__There's a cat in the kettle at the Peking Moon, the place that I eat every day at noon. They can feed you cat and you'll never know, Once they wrap it up in dough, boys…'_

"Emmett, you better not be serving me cat!" he started laughing hysterically then there was the random banging of pots and pans.

"MEEOOOWWW…" Emmett mewed loudly and I thought about finding a baseball bat to hit him with besides my fist – that hurts.

"Bella, the bat is in the garage, just ask Rose for it," Alice sang from upstairs and Emmett hissed from the kitchen.

"Bella, get your butt to the table and shut-up and eat!" I snickered at Emmett's ordering, coming from an overstuffed teddy bear it wasn't very frightening. I stood up then planted myself in a seat at the giant, hardly ever used dining table just as Emmett placed a large bowl in front of me and grinned widely. _'Enjoy!'_

I stared down at the bowl and its contents. "Really Emmett, ramen? You made me ramen!" I picked up my fork and started to swirl the noodles onto the utensil. "A typical food any man can cook, should have known."

'_Okay brat, just eat – it's the thought that counts,' _Emmett walked away from me and headed toward his game again.

I was shocked when a loud growl emitted from the living room followed by a crash then a muffled bark. I sprang from my seat and ran for the noise. Upon seeing the fiasco before me, I fell to my knees, holding my stomach and laughing profusely.

Brontë was prancing around the couch, dragging the game controller by the cord behind her and Emmett was hunched over the couch, butt straight up in the air. It was truly a hysterical sight to see.

"Who would have thought a little, innocent puppy could get one over on the loud and huge Emmett," Jasper snickered happily as his game character splattered Emmett's character across the television screen.

Emmett snapped upright and glared at Jasper before pointing to the dining table. "I'll deal with this, Bella – go eat!" He then sprang over the couch and crashed to the floor as Brontë strutted up the stairs, tail wagging cheerfully behind her.

I threw up my hands in surrender and backed away toward my 'dinner'. "Okay, okay, down boy," Emmett growled then lurched for me suddenly. I yipped then spun around and ran for the table. When I looked back, I saw Emmett was sneaking up the stairs quietly, apparently hoping to get a jump on Brontë.

Considering the antics between Emmett and my dog, I'm surprised I haven't shot a noodle out my nose yet. It was a little difficult to eat since I had a smile from ear to ear – I was so ecstatic that the vampire family I love so much seems to love the same puppy that made a sudden appearance in my life and I had fallen hard for her.

After I had finished my ramen and washed my dishes, I headed into the living room and was pleasantly surprised. Brontë was fast asleep, curled up in a ball in Jasper's lap while he sat cross-legged on the floor playing the video game. I sat down on the couch and watched as Jasper, Emmett and Rosalie had a three-way smack down, don't ask what game or system it was – I couldn't tell you. As I sat and watched the screen, Alice came up behind me and started brushing and fiddling with my hair.

I vaguely remember being lifted by comforting arms then gently placed on a pillow scented with Edward. For the second time in nearly a month, I had a very peaceful and relaxing sleep. My first serene slumber was the other night, when my dreamward had actually allowed me to pleasure him – the after effects were blissful and orgasmic. However, tonight a comforting, loving, embrace that left me feeling rejuvenated and protected wrapped around me securely.

When the early morning rays shined through the floor to ceiling window, I groaned internally. An overactive pixie hyped up on espresso beans bounced on the bed, sending me into the air a good foot up. I groaned unhappily then rolled over and buried my head under a pillow.

'_Come on Bella, time to rise and shine!'_

"After being woken like that, I'll rise but I won't shine," I mumbled at her from under the pillow.

"Oh yes you will, besides, we have company coming in a couple hours and your boss called," I sat up then, eager to learn what the doctor had to say. _'Oh, now look who's interested,'_ I scowled at her. "He said and I quote 'Take the day off, I have to make a house call in Seattle,' okay."

I narrowed my eyes and stared at my best friend skeptically. "You did something didn't you?"

"Actually, I didn't," she smiled and continued to bounce on her knees in front of me. "Now that you're up, you need to get showered and dressed before our guests get here."

I whimpered as she shoved me into the bathroom. "Can you at least tell me how _many_ guests will be here?"

"Six," I was shocked by the number and the bluntness of her answer.

I sighed as I climbed into the shower. Great, now Alice is going to make a spectacle of me in front of her vampire buddies. Has she not learned by now that I _hate_ being the center of attention?

Once I emerged from the bathroom wrapped in a large towel, toweling my hair with a smaller one, Alice threw a hunter green dress at me. I stared at the ruffled fabric and scoffed at it as I sent it flying right back at her. "If I'm going to be on display for six of your friends, than I'm wearing my own comfortable clothes."

Alice crossed her arms and glared at me evilly. I matched her stance and stared at her defiantly. I was _not_ going to wear a dress today, I would greet them in a towel if need be but I wasn't going out there in a dress of any kind.

The intensity of Alice's fierce look magnified and I copied her. Alice threw her arms up in the air out of frustration then stormed out of the room. _'Fine, have it your way, don't make an impression!'_

"I don't need flashy clothes to make an impression," I snapped. I heard her growl loudly from somewhere down the hall and I smirked triumphantly. I quickly pulled on a pair of tight black jeans and one of Edward's grey button-down shirt and tied the ends together in the front. After slipping on some socks and my shoes, I headed downstairs, confident in my taste of attire.

'_Too bad Eddie isn't here, the poor guy would have a solid boner forever if he saw you in that,'_ I scoffed at Emmett's assessment of my clothing choice.

I walked over to the back of the couch and patted him on the shoulder. "Well, just think, you've seen me in this and he hasn't. So next time you see him you can let him _see_ me. Lord it over him – let him know what he's missing."

'_Sounds perfect to me,'_ he then burst out laughing.

While Emmett recounted our little conversation, I took Brontë outside for some fresh air and a bush. Maybe it was the puppy in her or maybe it was the wolf, either way, she was having a blast chasing around a small squirrel. I let her play happily for the next hour then I snatched her up just as she was about to chase the squirrel into Esme's rose bushes.

She instantly started squirming in my arms as I carried her inside. Jasper darted over and retrieved the wiggly puppy from my arms. She continued to twist and turn in Jasper's stronger grasp as well.

"What is wrong with her?" He didn't hide the worry in his voice at all.

I tried to pet her head, maybe calm her down but the wriggling only increased. "I have no id-"

A knock at the front door interrupted me. "Bella, can you get that?"

I hesitantly turned toward the door. Why would Alice ask me to answer the door? I glanced at Jasper as he fought to hold on to Brontë who was now whining, he shrugged his shoulders, obviously having felt my confusion to his wife's request. I took a deep breath then turned the knob.

The sight that greeted me had the hairs on the back of my neck standing straight up. "Laurent," I growled out in a very low whisper.

He smiled at me while I measured him and calculated running away then I noticed the light hue of his eyes. "Bella, it's a pleasure seeing you again." _'And you're definitely looking good.'_

His feelings were completely one sided. "I wish I could say the same," I hissed out aggressively.

'_Oh, that must be the Bella we've heard so much about!'_ I was surprised to hear the feminine voice inside my head, it was a voice I didn't recognize either. "Laurent let the rest of us in," Laurent was pushed aside almost aggressively by a petite woman an inch or two taller than me with straight, silver-blond hair that reached her chin. She rushed at me eagerly, grasped my hand, and shook it violently. "Oh Bella, I'm so happy to finally meet you. I'm Irina."

I couldn't hold back the smile at witnessing Irina's excitement.

"Alright Irina, there are others waiting to come inside you know," I snickered at the other voice from outside.

In bounced a woman about the same height as Irina but her hair was a pale blond shade and laid straight and long down her back. She took my hand, clasped it with both of hers, and gave it a firm squeeze. "Hello Bella, I'm Kate," she smiled in greeting to me then her smile turned into a frown of concentration. _'Why can't I shock her, is she immune somehow?'_

I smiled back at her sweetly, trying to hide the fact that I now knew what she was trying to do. "Hi Kate," I squeezed her hand back in reply just before it was ripped from my hand and Kate was shoved out of the way by a tall woman with black wavy hair.

'_My goodness isn't she a vision. No wonder Edward is so smitten with her,'_ I stared up at her with wide eyes and she gazed back at me, a large and warm smile on her lips. She leaned forward and placed a quick kiss on both my cheeks, succeeding in stunning me – that wasn't something I expected. "Señorita Bella, my name is Carmen. We've heard so much about you. This is my husband Eleazar," she pulled forward an equally tall man with short black hair who extended his hand.

"Hello Eleazar," I took it without hesitation, shaking his hand firmly.

"Hello Bella," he smiled down but there was a look of concentration etched in his face. _'So this is the human girl Carlisle said had powers. He said something about her blocking Edward from reading her mind and there was something else but he wouldn't tell me what it was.'_

I scoffed at his musing and he tilted his head questioningly, I just shook my head to dismiss him. I vaguely remembered hearing Emmett, Jasper, Alice, and Rosalie snickering in the background. Then it stopped suddenly when a woman with wavy, strawberry blond hair strolled through the door and glared down at me. She was about the same height of Kate but looked less inviting, her arms crossed over her chest as she walked up to me, sizing me up – for what, I didn't know.

'_This is not going to be pretty,'_ Emmett mused quickly.

Brontë started growing viciously and I glanced down to see her standing defensively by my leg, snarling up at the blonde-haired woman. I looked back at the beauty before me and she scoffed as she walked around me. _'So this is the little girl driving Edward up a wall. What does he see in her? She's nothing special, so why is Edward jumping through hoops for her?' _"I'm Tanya," she muttered snobbishly and walked pass me to greet Carlisle and Esme.

I spun around and followed her with my eyes, gritting my teeth to the point that my jaw hurt. What does she know about Edward and my relationship? Moreover, who is she to judge, I'm not making Edward do anything he doesn't want to do – he's the vampire after all.

'_Bella, calm down, before you blow a gasket!'_ Jasper was bombarding me with wave after wave of calming and relaxing emotions but none of them were working.

Laurent walked up and stood next to me, gazing at me with his golden eyes, vegetarian life must be agreeing with him. "Bella, are you all right, you look like your choking?" _'What in the world just happened, she seemed fairly happy and now, she looks ready to kill Tanya?'_

Tanya glanced at me from the corner of her eye as she conversed with Carlisle, Esme and Carmen. _'That insignificant girl has Edward all tied up in knots. I bet he's not here right now because he's out pitching a fit because she wouldn't have sex with him. I'll gladly take her place beneath him if that's the case. Edward is definitely the hottest piece of man meat I've ever encountered, yummy.'_

Due to her thoughts, I snapped. "EDWARD IS NOT A PIECE OF MEAT!"

Tanya spun around and gazed at me with wide eyes. "What are you talking about?" _'Has she gone insane, maybe that is why he left?'_

"I'm not insane and nor did he leave because I wouldn't have sex with him!" I was outright fuming now. Jasper wrapped his arms around my waist quickly when I made a sudden movement to leap at the infuriating woman. If it weren't for Jasper grabbing me, I would have jumped Tanya and done some serious damage, to myself regrettably.

Tanya walked over, leaned over so her perfect face was inches from mine and sneered. "You really are a strange girl," _'Hopefully soon, Edward will come crawling to me, begging me to show him what a real woman is like,'_ she then turned and walked back over to Carlisle and Esme.

I now fully understand that saying of 'seeing red', although it was more like burgundy, a dark, morbid shade of red. "Edward will never go to you and you're definitely not a woman!"

She twirled around suddenly, ready to come at me but Carlisle grabbed her arm and held her still. "Tanya, don't and be careful about your thoughts."

"Why would I have to be careful of my thoughts? Edward isn't anywhere nearby is he?" Tanya laughed as she glared down at Carlisle's hand then up to his face. _'Please say he is, I so want to jump his bones and everything on them.'_

"TANYA, SHUT UP ABOUT ASSAULTING EDWARD!" She snickered loudly and I fought against Jasper's hold. There were several hissing sounds in the room but I didn't want to waste the time figuring out whom they belonged to, I wanted to rip that pretty, little head off Tanya's equally pretty shoulders.

"Tanya, don't underestimate Bella, she isn't afraid of vampires," Esme whispered to the bitch in front of me.

I continued to wriggle and pull against Jasper as Brontë continued with her growling and occasional barks at Tanya.

'_I could care less if she was afraid of me, in a battle – I'd win,'_ she smirked and flipped her hair over her shoulder as she made her way to the couch.

'_I never expected to see a movie when I was told about visiting the Cullens, this is interesting,'_ I turned my head and glared at Laurent for his crude mental comment.

Rosalie walked over and sat down on the couch next to Tanya. _'She isn't going to be happy when she hears the truth you know Bella. Do you want me to tell her or do you want the honor of the fatal punch?'_

A snicker escaped my lips as I realized what Rose's intentions were when she sat down next to Tanya. Whether I told the bitch or Rosalie did, either way, she wanted a front row seat to the fireworks. "Be my guest Rose, I don't think Mr. Emotions here is going to let go of me anytime soon."

Jasper winked at me. _'Sorry Bella, it's for your own good. She could kill you without meaning to, remember she is a vampire and you're not,'_ I gave him a raspberry before directing my attention to the blond women on the couch.

Rosalie leaned over so she could speak softly to Tanya, although I could hear her at the same time so it wasn't exactly a whisper. "Hey Tanya, you know how Edward can read minds?" Tanya nodded her head in an annoyed fashion. "Can you imagine what that gift would have been like if he was human? Being able to hear everyone's thoughts and not knowing why it was only you with that ability?"

'_That is such a stupid question,'_ Tanya turned her head and looked at Rosalie incredulously. "But he didn't have that power when he was human, it only manifested once he was turned. What are you getting at Rose?"

"What if Edward wasn't the only mind reader in the world, or the country for that matter?" _'Okay, let's see how long it takes for her to piece together the puzzle, shall we,_' Rose leaned back on the couch and looked relaxed, calm and waiting.

"He's not, Aro can read minds also, as well as every thought and memory you've ever had," you could hear the annoyance in her voice now. _'Why is she asking me all these dumb questions?'_

"They're not dumb questions _Tanya_, there is a point she's trying to make," I glared at the woman whose name slipped off my tongue with the deepest tone of resentment I didn't know existed within me.

She glared back at me with the same level of resentment. "Were you not listening to what she asked me? They were extremely-" her words died and her eyes grew wide. _'Please god, don't let her be a reader as well, please.'_

I narrowed my eyes and smirked at her internal prayer. "Sorry Tanya, god is too busy to take your message."

"You're a mind reader also, incredible – and you're still a human," Eleazar darted over so he was staring straight at me, the same look of curiosity Carlisle always got when faced with impending knowledge. "As well as a shield from what I can sense. That is incredible! I have never heard about a human with an ability, let alone two. Are you planning on becoming a vampire?"

I felt my face heat up at the idea of spending eternity with my vampire family and the possibility of things if I was with Edward. It was a thought that had been bouncing around inside my head for a while now. At the possibility that Edward might not want me for eternity, that suggestion hurt and I felt my chest get heavy.

'_Bella!'_ Jasper scolded me with just the whisper of my name in his head, he didn't like it when I belittled myself and doubted Edward's feelings for me.

I cringed slightly under Jasper's scrutinizing gaze. "Sorry Jazz."

Tanya stumbled toward me, her eyes divulging the horror in that filled her body. "You're a mind reader as well? What did you hear exactly?" her voice belying the fear as well.

"About me being the _little girl driving Edward up a wall_ to the _please god don't let her be reader_," I responded crassly, not too pleased with her train of thoughts regarding Edward.

Both of her hands shot to her mouth in a matter of a heartbeat. _'Oh god, did she see the images I imagined of Edward as well?' _

The glare and growl that emerged from me due to her last thought couldn't be suppressed and Jasper immediately sent out a deluge of composure. "Unfortunately, unlike Edward, I can't see images people think of, only the current words."

She emitted a large sigh and mouthed the words 'thank you' toward the sky, which sent me into an unexpected rage. _'If she saw my fantasies of Edward she-'_

"Bella, no!"

Alice's warning was lost on the wind as I sprang at Tanya. I must have rendered her completely stunned since I managed to shove her to the floor. She then went totally still as she gazed up at me.

"My god, she's lost it!" her eyes darted around the room to see if there was anyone going to help her.

"We warned you didn't we," Emmett shrugged his shoulders nonchalantly, without a care in the world.

I shoved on her shoulders, attempting to emphasis my points. "I haven't _lost_ it! I'm only protecting what's mine, Edward is _my_ soulmate, MINE! As for why he isn't here, it's his doing not mine. He's the one that left me half naked in his room because he freaked out that I wanted more than kissing."

The look in Tanya's eyes softened, leaving me dumbfounded. I didn't expect her sudden change in disposition just because I had told her about being dumped by the person in question.

"Bella!" Jasper shouted at me verbally this time. "Despite what you think, Edward did not dump you…"

"Yeah, I know but there's still a lingering feeling of complete rejection. Would any of you desert your mate for any reason?" I pulled myself off Tanya and kneeled on the floor next to her. I looked up to see all the mated pairs glance at their significant other and every single one of them looked down and shook their heads.

'_I could never leave Esme, no matter what!'_

'_Jasper is my life, I would die without him.'_

'_Now that I know what true love is, I'll always be by Irina's side.'_

'_Is she kidding? Rose maybe a handful but I would never give her up.'_

Carmen kneeled down in front of me, examining me with her sad golden eyes. "No child, we wouldn't, we couldn't. It's not possible for a truly mated couple."

That's what I thought. Edward and I aren't truly mated yet, we may be soulmates but we don't share that one bond that I so crave from the most important person in my life, the one bond that would link us for all eternity. So why didn't Edward want the same? He says he loves me and I believe him, he says he wants to be with me and I believe him again. Why can't my heart win against the conflict that my brain was waging within me? Was I just fighting a losing battle?

"BELLA, enough of the self doubt, its driving me crazy," Jasper snapped me out of my dreary reverie, and it was definitely dreary.

Alice rushed to me and wrapped her arms around my shoulders tightly. "He'll come back, I see it," that wasn't news Alice; he told me so in his poems. "Things will be different when he returns, for the better. You'll both truly be in high spirits."

I shook my head slowly from side to side. "Alice, I don't see how, I don't think-"

"That's right, Alice can see the future," Laurent interrupted and stared at the small pixie still wrapped around me. Everyone looked to the newest vegetarian and newest member of the family inquisitively. "Well I was wondering, when James was…you know…" Laurent waved his hand around in an embarrassed manner and we all nodded in acknowledgment. "If Alice can see the future or what a person decides, didn't you see what James or Bella decided while in Cancun?"

Alice stiffened against me, alerting me immediately to her tension. _'Oh shit!'_

"Alice?" from the horrified expression on her face I could tell that she was keeping something from us, something important.

"I, uh…I, um…saw you sneak out," there were several gasps, including myself. If she saw what was happening why didn't she stop me? She turned to me and grabbed my hands firmly in hers. "Every time I thought about stopping you or telling someone what you were doing, I got a vision of you dying, for good. Letting you go on your own might not have seemed like the right choice but it was the better outcome overall. I'm so sorry I didn't tell you."

The hurt in her eyes was jaw-dropping, I didn't know Alice could even make a face like that. I pulled her into a hug and held her as tightly as I could, her tearless sobbing started when I showed her affection. "It's alright Alice, it all worked out in the end."

I smiled when Brontë padded up to us and started to lick at Alice's bare knee, resulting in her giggling as she tried to gently push Brontë away. We all started laughing at Brontë's relentless assault of Alice's knee.

"I guess you taste good," I stated through my giggling. "I'm sure she's just trying to make you feel better."

"Hey, that's my knee, mutt!" Everyone erupted into an uproarious laughter at Jasper's not so innocent comment.

A question was nagging at me for a while now. I tried to quiet my laughing so I could pose my question. "So…who…is this…Aro person?" I managed to stammer out between gasps of breaths.

The room immediately fell eerily silent at my inquiry. Was it something I said?

* * *

_**Chapter End Notes:**_

So, what do you think of the poem? Do you suppose there is a hidden meaning with in the words, Bella think so?

Did you like the way the Cullen's interact with Bronte? I think she's become the new comic relief in the story.

The way Bella attacked Tanya was fun to write but was it believable? I just hope it transferred well from brain to text.

Note: Tanya will be back for the next chapter and it will be more profane than my norm.

Song mentioned is a spoof of Cat's In The Cradle by Harry and Sandy Chapin. It's Cat's in the Kettle by Weird Al Yankovic. Video on profile.


	14. You're A Huge A!

I don't own, SM does.

Note: some excessive language, for me anyways but others might not think so.

* * *

**Chapter 14: You're A Huge A$$!**

I wonder if there is a class in tracking I can take? My tracking skills were horrendous. After leaving Bella her poem, watching her at work, and confronting Mike, I resigned myself to searching for the revenge-crazed vampire who called herself Victoria. I had spent the rest of Monday, all of Tuesday and most of Wednesday attempting to track her down.

Like I said, my tracking skills were horrendous – that was an understatement – they were atrocious, appalling and inexcusable. How am I supposed to keep my love safe when I couldn't even find the one threatening her life?

I did not want to have to resort to asking assistance from the wolves. Bella is _my_ girlfriend, _my_ reason for living, it's _my_ fault she's in danger – again, and it's _my_ responsibility to keep her safe and alive.

I thought about beating my head against a tree or boulder but that would only result in making dust of the poor objects. I sometimes felt like I was beating my head against a brick wall, with the combination of Victoria, wolves and my training, I was glad that vampires couldn't get headaches.

After nearly forty-eight hours of failed tracking, I trudged back to my tent slowly, despondent about my results.

I guess I can't say it was a complete failure, I did come across a wolf path that was overlaying a vampires scent, but it wasn't Victoria's and it stopped dead at the highway. The wolf trail backtracked slightly then headed in the direction of the reservation but it was the vampire scent, which I was most interested in. I didn't recognize the smell so it was a new vampire because I could still smell the human blood in its veins. I'd bet my Aston Martin that it was a newborn created by Victoria, probably to do her dirty work.

As soon as I reached the tent I pulled out the bag of tomatoes and immediately went to the task of fantasizing about a girl with pale touchable skin, mahogany hair that danced down her back in waves, chocolate brown eyes that seemed to look into your very soul and a heart shaped face that begged to be worshipped.

Nearly a dozen tomatoes later, I was finally getting to the point where I could imagine ghosting my fingers over her delicate folds that guarded the path to her promised lands. I knew my imaginings could never do justice to the real thing but until I had complete control over every part of my body, there would be no touching her in that way.

'_You so do not deserve that girl! You fucking asshole, you shithead, you dumbass, you retarded piece of shit!'_ I cringed and growled at the familiar feminine voice berating me mentally. She started remembering when she first met Bella, dressed in tight black pants and a grey shirt, my shirt. God she made my mouth water and it wasn't venom. Okay that's settled, she would only ever wear my shirts when I returned!

The moment the annoying strawberry-blond stepped from the trees, I hurled a fat red tomato directly for her face. For once, I wished vampires didn't have superior hearing. The tomato whizzed past Tanya's head by only centimeters, if she hadn't of tilted her face than the fruit would have hit her square in the face.

'_Edward, knock it off. I didn't come to proposition you, quite the opposite actually,_' she stepped further from the trees and closer to me.

I scoffed as I turned from her slow advance. "Right Tanya and I am the president of the United States."

"Really, I didn't even know you were running for office," she said sarcastically then smirked when she looked into the bag at my feet. _'Trying to make the perfect pizza sauce?'_

"Of course not," I snapped.

'_Oh, Alice sent you a gift,'_ I arched an eyebrow as she went back to the tree line for a moment then returned with a very large box. I tried to figure out what the contents were but all she knew was it was something for my training.

I looked at her skeptically before pulling back the flaps of the box. What greeted my eyes was something greatly unexpected. Hundreds of eggs filled the box, all brown and white and there was a small piece of paper resting on top.

_These are hollow so they are very fragile._

_Try not to crack Bella, too much._

My sister truly had a morbid sense of humor for her to be referring to the eggs as Bella. I carefully picked up one of the eggs and examined it and I became nervous at how incredibly light it was.

'_Do you really think eggs will help you to be with Bella? You know that's not necessary,'_ I wanted to rip my eyes out, or rip her head off at what she was forcing me to witness. The sight of her looking down at a human man while she rode him aggressively while he chanted her name over and over again was _NOT_ something I ever wanted to see.

"I have _never_ gone through the training you're putting yourself through and I have _never _once hurt a human man, even during the throes of passion. So why are you torturing yourself and Bella?" Sudden I saw an image of Bella, kneeling on the floor looking at everyone with a broken expression as she asks them if they would ever leave their mate? _'Even if you write her poems, she still has doubt in her heart, we can all see it.'_

Tanya's face had a look that I had never seen before, she was hurt and sad and it mixed with longing and resolve. It was as if she finally realized I would never return her affections and that they lay elsewhere.

"From what I can see from your little human, she is worth keeping. She even stood up against me," a wave of pride washed over me as I watch through Tanya's memory of Bella shouting at her and eventually downing her to the floor. Bella had called me hers, her soulmate and she was going to fight for me. _'If I was into girls, which I'm not, I would make a pass at her. She is truly a beautiful thing when she's mad.'_

Tanya walked over to the bag of tomatoes and pulled a couple out then examined the frail red skin of the fruit. She rolled it around in her hand and her eyebrows pushed closer and closer together. Her verbal and mental silence was unsettling. It wasn't very often that Tanya was silent around me.

"What kind of ass are you?" Tanya asked as she launched a tomato straight at me. I ducked out of the way quickly and stared at her, shocked at her actions. "SERIOUSLY, WHAT ARE YOU, GAY?" She shouted as she continued to throw tomatoes at me, occasionally hitting me in the process.

"No, I'm not gay, I-" a tomato hit me in the chest as I tried to explain my sexuality.

"Could have fooled me! What kind of heterosexual person turns down every sexual advance on them? Bella quite literally threw herself at you and you just pushed her away! Do you have any idea of how your actions make her feel, trust me I know?" Tanya was still shouting but not at the same level as her gay comment. She then reminded me of all the advances she had made on me and every single time I had rejected her.

"I can see why you rejected me, I never appealed to you but you obviously want Bella so why are you being such an ass-wipe and avoiding her? Are you that scared of losing your virginity or scared of happiness? Please tell me it's not because you're scared of commitment?" Rage was etched into every curve of Tanya's body and she let me know with each tomato she threw at me.

As soon as I opened my mouth to respond to her accusations, she started in again. "You are a complete asshole and if you can't see how special that girl is you deserve to be alone. I can't believe I was so hung up on you. You are a self-absorbed, fucked-up, cynical, piece of useless shit."

"You don't have to tell me how special she is, I KNOW! That is why I'm taking the precaution not to harm her. I care whether or not I hurt Bella while we're…we're…" I waved my hand about, trying to imply the word I was too embarrassed to say to someone else.

More tomatoes sailed through the air, with even more force than before. "You think I don't care about the men enough not to risk hurting them? You really are a dumbass, do I need to get you a _'Vampire Sex for Dummies'_ book or something? Just before and during sex is when our humanity is at its highest, for all intents and purposes, we are more human during the most animalistic of human acts – it's ironic really."

She immediately assaulted me with memories of her sexual encounters: of her giving a man a blowjob while she rode on top of another, of being taken from behind, of a man pushing her up against a shower wall, doing it in a chair, on a table…

"STOP IT!" I shouted and fisted my hair.

"Even humans can be rough and it can be very…stimulating. Some women like the rough stuff. Talk to Bella, learn what she likes, learn from each other," her once aggressive tone turned into something caring and hopeful. _'Please, for both of your sakes, return to her, love her, and cherish her. Please!'_

She thought about kissing me on the cheek but that was as far as she went then she turned back toward the house. "Wait," I leaped inside the tent and quickly wrote out another poem then returned to Tanya and handed her the folded piece of paper. "Please give this to Bella."

She gave me a small wink then disappeared into the trees. _'By the way, Bella is going to Florida for a few days to visit her mom. In the mean time, finish your self-inflicted torture and please, come home.'_

Is it actually possible that I can be with Bella without fear or doing her any damage what so ever? If it is a possibility, than why do I squash the eggs or tomatoes when all I do is picture her? Could it be that the actual act of sex and the thought of it could create different reactions? If it was feasible that a vampire's humanity increases during sex, than why wasn't Carlisle aware of it? He was probably too busy to think about it…ewww.

If what Tanya said was true, it's all right to be animal-like where sex is concerned. It is true that in my many, many occasions into the human sexual psyche, there have seen many instances where the woman enjoyed being spanked or shoved up against a wall, or even tied and the men had enjoyed being scratched and bitten and having their hair pulled. Well shit! I enjoyed having Bella pull on my hair; it excited me, even urged me on.

So, at those times where Bella was pulling my hair and I would growl in pleasure, not once had she run from me. In her eyes, I wasn't an animal – I was just Edward, her seventeen-year old boyfriend, her soulmate.

I walked over to the grocery bag that held the tomatoes and was surprised to see it was empty. Tanya had used me as target practice with every piece of fruit in the bag.

I really hated to admit it but Tanya had helped me. She had shown me – granted unwillingly – that a vampire/human relationship was very possible and that I wouldn't hurt her and why. The reasoning behind the _why_ made perfect sense.

While I thought we were at our wildest side during sex, we were in fact at our most human. Having sex was ingrained into humans since the dawn of time; they never had to think about _how_ it was done, they just did it – as if on instinct.

So basicly, since we were human at one point, once we're in that mindset of intimacy it's as if our instinct for our mate kicks in and our physical state resorts back to human and we could never harm our mate.

I shook my head violently from side to side. That made absolutely no sense. Was I going insane being out here too long? On the other hand, was I overanalyzing things again like everyone accused me of doing constantly? All things considered, I hope it was the latter and not the former.

I heaved a heavy sigh then turned to run into the deepest part of the forest. If Bella was going away to Florida for a little while then I would gorge myself immensely. There would be absolutely no chance that her blood would affect me. I was now capable of being close enough to her that I didn't have to fear breaking her skin in the heat of the moment but she's a virgin, there will be blood – _that_ is not a risk I'm willing to take.

Bella was my top priority and she always would be no matter what the circumstances. However, right now, my priority right now was getting back to Bella once she returned from Florida and ravishing every inch of her body.

* * *

_**Chapter End Notes:**_

Sorry if this chapter is a little shorter than all the others are but I think we can handle only so much of Tanya and with Edward coming to a decision – I figured it would get them together faster.

I'm also sorry if the reasoning behind the increased humanity during sex didn't make sense, the way of thinking in my head did, I just couldn't think of the words to explain it.

So, how many of you are glad to hear Edward will be returning to Bella's side?


	15. Shattered

I wish I owned but I dont.

I know it may not seem like it but I do read every single review I get and I love every one of them, several even make me laugh. FYI: some of the comments point out my 'oops' in my story line so I can fix them in the coming chapters. I LOVE ALL MY REVIEWS, almost too much.

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**Chapter 15: Shattered**

I really hated to admit it, but Alice was right, oh big surprise right. It was getting closer to Edward's designated return date and I didn't want to be anywhere but here when that happened. When my mother called last night and mentioned me coming down to visit for a week, I had no intention of going.

Despite what I wanted, Alice never listened and always swore she knew what was best for me. My mom had begged me to come down to Florida and Alice had quite literally jumped on that idea. In one of my heartbeats, she had declared I would be on the morning flight out and she ran upstairs, thinking over possible outfits to pack for me.

That is why, I'm currently sitting in a first-class seat on a 747 heading to one of the hottest and most humid states in North America – leave it to a Cullen to book first-class. I had a sickening feeling that I would return to Forks a melted mess. I had become acclimated to the wet, cool and calm environment of the small close-knit town, of course my boyfriend and his family helped immensely.

This was my first time not in coach and it was strange, even when we fled to Cancun we hid in coach. The extra legroom, the service, the privacy that first-class provided was unusual and I wasn't used to it. Right now I was reclined back in my seat, cuddled one of Edward's jackets that I had snatched before leaving and rereading the poems he had given me. I read the first two again, ones I had named the Roses poem and the Night poem. I was currently reading the newest addition, the Light poem.

When Tanya had returned to the house last night and handed me the small parchment with a wink, butterflies immediately took up residence in my stomach. I had to bite my lip to keep from giggling like a thirteen year old. I had to swallow my stomach, heart and lungs back down as I read over the heartfelt words.

_An aurora borealis shines bright,_

_Alas, it pales in comparison to your light._

_Fly away and have some fun for a time,_

_When you return, our hearts and souls will chime._

_I have so many things to prove and say,_

_I hope it'll be a memorable day._

_You are my glorious and shining star,_

_My heart will never allow me to be far._

_I have a gift that you mustn't deny,_

_Rest assured it's something I didn't buy._

_I await your arrival my beautiful bell,_

_Please release me from my horrible hell._

_Edward xoxo_

I felt a single tear ghost down my cheek as I read each verse. His words were so touching and full of love I felt my heart swell to twice the size.

"_Please fasten your seatbelts as we are about to make our decent into Jacksonville International Airport."_

Upon hearing the announcement over the intercom, I quickly fastened my belt and watched out the window as we approached the tarmac. Soon I would see my mother after our seven-month separation, with the exception of my hospital stay in Cancun – that was no fun so it didn't count. Don't get me wrong, I enjoy living in Forks – now but I was extremely excited to see my mom.

After nearly twenty minutes of landing, waiting in line, and disembarking I finally emerged from the terminal. Before my eyes could adjust to the bright natural light, arms pulled me into an extremely tight hug.

'_Oh baby, you're finally here!'_ Renée hugged me so closely it was as if I was her life raft, I guess she missed me. "What, no Edward?"

I pulled away from her slightly and made my way to the baggage claim carousel. "Sorry mom, he's still away helping some friend in Alaska," I hated lying to her but it was better than telling her my virgin vampire boyfriend had freaked out when I wanted sex. Yeah, that would go over _so_ well, I wonder how quickly she would find me a padded room.

"Still?" she raised an eyebrow and she helped me locate my bag. _'What is he doing, building a house?'_

That was a great excuse mom, thanks. "Actually mom, he is. Some friends of his family are remodeling their home and he's been helping out, but he has assured me that he'll be back in time for school."

"Wow, what a nice young man," nice – yes, young – not so much, man – not yet. _'How are you doing with him being gone so long?'_

I sighed heavily as Phil retrieved my bag and all three of us walked outside toward their car. Out of the corner of my eye, I could see my mother's eyes sag and become full of sorrow, she knew I wasn't doing well without me having to elaborate.

"I'm making do. His family is helping me a lot," that was as true as I could think of without letting on about the spastic fit and abandonment by Edward.

'_Are you sure? You're acting and sounding like you two broke up,'_ she ran her hand up and down my back, obviously hoping to coax the answer out of me.

I looked at her and gave her a half smile before climbing into the back seat of the SUV. We sat in comfortable silence all the way to the little yellow house with a white picket fence. My mother had always hoped to that exact type of house.

Phil quickly retrieved my bag from the back and I followed Renée inside. She showed me to my room and surprisingly started to unpack my bag into the dresser.

"Mom, I can do that," she glared at me when I reached for my bag.

'_At least let me do this while you're here. So sit down, relax and tell me about Forks and your boyfriend,'_ due to her tone of voice, I had no choice but to comply and allow her to unpack my bag. I sighed before reaching into my carryon bag and pulled out a picture of Edward and me in our meadow, I glanced at it briefly then held it out to my mom.

She turned her head from the dresser to glance at the photo. Her eyes widened and my shirt fell to the floor. She spun around, snatched the picture from me, and stared long and hard at it. _'Holy crap, it's the boy from Cancun! So it's official now then, you go girl!'_

I thought we were official in Cancun, did she not sense the atmosphere? Like I really had to ask what she thought. "So you approve?"

'_Approve? Heck, if I was single I would so become a cougar just for him,'_ I glared at her and snatched my photo back from her.

"Mom, you're already a cougar, you're two years older than Phil remember and are you honestly telling me that you would try and steal your daughter's boyfriend?" I arched an eyebrow and gave her an evil eye.

'_What…no way…I'm just saying. Your boyfriend is definitely…wow. Bella, nice choice,' _I continued to glare at her.

"It wasn't exactly a choice mom. I saw him and my feeling were instantaneous, unchanging and unexpected but I would never change a thing," I stowed the photo away in my bag, next to my poems then I followed my mom into the kitchen as she attempted to make lunch.

Out of all of my mother's harebrained, whimsy passing hobbies, why one of them couldn't be cooking, I'll never know. The grilled peanut butter and jelly sandwich would have been good by itself but when she added relish to it – I lost my appetite and grabbed an apple from the fruit bowl.

She conceded defeat after the lunch fiasco and ordered pizza for dinner – thank the heavens.

"Didn't I hear you were given a rather lively gift from one of the boys on the rez?" Renée smirked at me from over her slice of pizza. I couldn't help but roll my eyes at her all too obvious question.

"Yes mom, I was given a puppy actually. She's husky/wolf and her name is Brontë," I then tried to hide behind my pizza.

'_Oh she must be adorable. I wish you would have brought her.'_

"I'll email you some pictures. I didn't want to subject her to being in a cage for hours on end. The Cullens are watching her, they adore her," I'm so glad they didn't see her as a hors d'oeuvre but as a member of the family. She beamed a smile and clapped her hands together happily, reminding me of Alice.

After dinner and a lot of talking about my new life in Forks, wondering what I was planning later in my life, she finally allowed me to go to bed. No matter which direction I was going – jet lag always drained me.

Early the next morning, my mom bounded into my room, dragged me out of bed, shoved me into the bathroom and presented me with one of the swimsuits Alice choose. I was still groggy from my sudden awakening and the outfit held out to me didn't even register in my foggy brain.

'_We're going to the beach in half an hour, be ready in fifteen minutes,_' she then shot out of my room. Beach? What, huh…BEACH! CRAP! After seventeen years, has my mother not learned? I don't do beaches! _'And no complaining! How about we get a photo of you to tease your boyfriend with?'_

Okay, now my mind was set on torturing a virginal vampire that felt the need to avoid me and stay virtuous. This was one of my mom's best ideas and I would gladly go along with it and put my all into it. I slid into the zebra print bikini with gold rings at the hips and chest* and threw on a long tee shirt and shorts before exiting my room.

"Hey mom, I'm going to take you up on your offer. I want to make it so Edward will never want to leave me for any length of time, ever again," I could hear the snakiness of my voice and my mom flinched slightly.

'_No problem but damn, you seem determined. I'm guessing you're not too happy with him being away,'_ she hesitantly placed a plate with a fried egg sandwich on it in front of me.

I grabbed up the sandwich and took a rather large bite. I had to think of a good reason for my determination in torturing Edward. "Well, he did go away and didn't take me with him. Would you be so happy if Phil did that to you?"

She flinched visibly then wrapped her arms around my shoulders and held me tightly. _'Oh baby, I'm so sorry,'_ she pulled back slightly to look at me with her sad bluish eyes. "Let's go torture that stubborn boyfriend of yours."

After grabbing some towels, water bottles, and the camera, we set off for the beach. It was a hot, humid and sunny day and the beach was only a few blocks away so we decided to walk and enjoy the sunshine. We found a quiet, secluded corner or the beach, nestled near the rock jetty.

Once my mom started taking photos, I was surprised at how quickly I took to doing seductive poses. If Edward was opposed to touching my body then at least he could look at my body and realize what he was missing.

'_Bella, you're really getting into this aren't you. It's as if you're trying to punish him with your sexuality or something. He is satisfying you isn't he?'_

I flinched at her question. Unlike most teens where their parents tell them to avoid sex before marriage, all my mother would say is to be safe. My mother was always very articulate when it came to 'the' talk, despite my squirming and unease. I knew she meant well but it was just embarrassing most of the time.

"Bella?" Renée's raised voice broke me from my reverie.

"Oh sorry," I felt my face burn scarlet and she started giggling. 'Remembering Edward are we?'

Not wanting to let her know she couldn't farthest from the truth, I plastered a large smile on my face and headed over to my spread out beach towel.

'_So tell me, how is it? He has given you an orgasm, I hope. Has he-'_

"Mom, stop. I refuse to talk to you about this!" I didn't want to shock her with the truth that I was still a virgin.

After that, she didn't ask me any more sex questions, thankfully.

Thursday she dragged me to the mall and forcefully bought me clothes, books, knick-knacks, and I was only willingly eager to buy the gift for the Cullens and Charlie.

Friday was an eventful day at an amusement park. Fun houses, roller coasters, carousels, the whole nine yards – except I refused to enter the Hall of Mirrors. After a long curious stare down, mom shrugged her shoulders and declared she wanted some cotton candy.

Saturday I walked to the nearby park to soak up some vitamin D while I read. On my way home, one of Edward's sayings was proven true. I truly am a _danger magnet_.

Just as the white man on the screen gave me the go ahead to cross the street and I walked onto the crosswalk a couple bicyclists sped around the corner, excessively fast. Neither was watching where they were going as they shouted and laughed to each other.

The larger of the two rode by me too close, resulting in me stepping backwards, which pushed my foot against the curb causing me to trip and fall against the metal post that the streetlights hung from. On instinct, I reached for the pole with my right hand as my left hand stretched out to brace me from hitting the pavement. Neither worked like I had intended.

My right hand grabbed at nothing while my body hit the ground hard and I felt my wrist turn in an unnatural position and it started throbbing. I winched and cried out and glanced after my assailants who had stopped several feet away and started laughing incessantly.

Passersby stopped to help me to my feet and one of them even took chase after the cyclists, who took off at the first sign of a problem. Considering I was holding my left wrist carefully, a woman and a man in their mid-twenties escorted me down the street. They told me there was a hospital just down the street and that was where they were taking me.

Within ten minutes of giving the nurses my information, Renée burst through the sliding doors and lunged at me. She wrapped her arms around me tightly, causing me to hiss loudly as pain shot up and down my arm and lingered in my wrist. Upon hearing my agonizing whimper, she released me immediately, apologizing profusely. I shrugged her apology off, unsure of how to respond to her.

As we sat in the lobby and waited to be called back, the only thing I could focus on, other than the pain, was what happened before I even received the phone call from my mom.

The day I had arrived at the Cullens, due to Charlie going away for a conference, every member of the house was guarding their thoughts – it was if they were being carefully of what they were thinking. It wasn't until after I had attacked Tanya that I learned what the reason was behind their, unusual silence.

Considering I was in a house full of vampires, there is no way I should have taken down Tanya, even by surprise. Once I had assaulted Tanya, staked my claim on Edward, poured out my heart to twelve mythical creatures and then more or less shut down on everyone – Alice's thoughts were alarming.

'_Well that wasn't exactly as I had seen it play out, I think it worked out better.'_

I snapped my head up at her with a questioning glance. What, had she seen this happening? If so, why didn't she stop me? She winced and gritted her teeth when she realized she had slipped up.

I scrambled to my feet awkwardly and turned on her in a hostile way. "What do you mean that wasn't what you'd seen?"

'_I'm so, so, so sorry, I'm sorry Bella,' _Alice fidgeted uncomfortably under my prying stare and tilted her head down. "Um, well…I knew you wouldn't take kindly to someone thinking lusty thought about Edward. Therefore, when I had a vision of you going berserk on Tanya, I asked everyone to let you. So, that way you could lay claim to your mate and Tanya would back off."

She looked up at me through her long eyelashes with pleading and apologetic eyes. I deflated slightly but not enough that she would get off scot-free. "You let me, even conspired against me to attack your cousin!"

"Bella, I knew you would be alright, nothing bad-"

I interrupted her quickly. "I thought you wanted me to be part of your family. Allowing me to attack your cousin isn't exactly a good impression for them."

"Actually Bella, you're wrong," I turned my head around as Tanya sprang to her feet. "With the fact that you took on a _vampire_ and you're a _human_, says something. It shows that even though we are twenty times as strong as you are and you aren't intimated by us. You stand up against us and even befriend our kind, hell – you found a vampire mate for heaven sakes," Tanya placed her hands on my shoulders and stared sternly at me with her golden eyes then gazed around the room to the rest of the watching vampires. _'Considering what you're capable of as a human, I can't wait to witness it when Edward changes you,'_ she must have noticed my body tensing at her last three words. _'He is planning on changing you isn't he?'_

I wish I knew, since I didn't have an answer, I shrugged my shoulders minutely. I heard a low growl emit from her throat, and she sneered at the far wall. Obviously, she wasn't very happy about that little snippet of information.

She grabbed my face firmly in her hands and stared intently at me, her face mere inches from mine. _'If Edward is too much of a chicken shit to turn you and it's the path you want to take, I will gladly change you. Got it?'_

I stared at her, wide eyed, unblinking and in shock. I felt a faint smirk touch the corner of my mouth as I nodded at her. If Edward did decide he didn't want me for eternity, I'm sure one of the other Cullen's would gladly change me – namely Alice, but it was always a good idea to have a Plan C.

"Oh Bella, I almost forgot to tell you. Charlie called while you were out, I told him you would call him back later," my mom's voice ripped me from my reminiscent episode almost violently.

"Oh, okay, I'll call him once we're done here," as soon as I said that, they called me into the back so I could be examined.

Nearly two hours later, they finally released me from the hospital, sporting a dark blue cast on my left arm. The moment I set foot outside the bleach and blood filled building, I took my cell phone from my pocket and dialed Charlie's number.

"Bella?"

The earnestness in his voice had me taken aback a bit. "Yeah dad, it's me. What's wrong?"

"How soon can you get home?" Something was really wrong, I could hear it in the crack of his voice.

I glanced at my mom over the roof of her small car, her eyes were questioning. "When I can find a flight I can be on my way home. Why, what happened? Dad, are you alright?" It was now my turn for my voice to crack as panic iced over my insides.

"Bella, I'm alright. It's Harry Clearwater. He had a heart attack, he's dead," his voice sounded hollow, lifeless. Harry and Billy were his closest friends and one of the trio was now gone. I'm sure Charlie didn't know what to do with himself at the current moment.

"I'll be home as soon as a can!" I closed my phone and slipped into the car. "I need to get back to Forks – one of dad's friends had a heart attack. I need to go help him out."

'_Oh no! It's a shame we have to cut your vacation short but if Charlie is still the same as before then he'll need all the help he can get. I'll take you home so you can pack and I'll call the airline.'_

Renee most assuredly was a flight case but when it came to the important and emergency things, she was right on top of it. For that, I was grateful. Much to my surprise, Renée had located a direct flight to Seattle, where Alice would be waiting to pick me up.

I sat in first-class on the plane tapping my fingers against the armrests while my legs bounced up and down. The anxiety was killing me. I was less than one hour out of Seattle and I could swear my nerves were shot and I still had about another two hours until I was in Forks. God I hate traveling!

Alice greeted me at the gate, with my bag in hand and together we rushed out of SeaTac to the waiting Volvo, Jasper in the driver seat. I sat in the back seat and tried to calm my nerves but at Jasper's constant persistence that I calm down, I knew my attempts were failing.

'_We'll be in Forks soon Bella. Charlie is doing fairly well considering what happened to his friend,'_ Alice had mentioned several reassuring thoughts silently to me while we sat in complete silence.

Thirty-five more minutes.

Thirty more minutes.

Twenty-five more minutes.

Twenty-three more minutes.

When we were still twenty minutes out of Forks, Alice stiffened infinitesimally for several minutes. Jasper continued to drive as he kept a watchful eye on his wife.

"Jasper, head straight for our house!" She started frantically searching her pockets. _'Bella, call Edward, right now!'_

Her tone was commanding and I wasn't about to question it. Since my phone was already in my hands all I had to do was open it and press speed dial. It rang once, twice, and then it went to voicemail. I pulled the phone from my ear and stared at it, shocked that Edward had ignored my call. "Alice?"

She stiffened again but this time it was only for about thirty seconds. "Shit, we're too late!"

Too late…too late for what? Why did she practically yell at me to call Edward? Was he okay? Something happened and thanks to the restriction that my gift wouldn't allow me to see images or visions, I was blind as to what came about. Those were two words that I would begin to hate over the next few days and I didn't even know it. So many things were going to be – too late.

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_**Chapter End Notes:**_

Was the poem good? Just so you know if you haven't figured it out already - I'm not a poet! I hope Bella's "accident" was okay, I wanted something to happen but I wanted her capable of running (she'll need to later).

The swimsuit is a modification I made. If your curious about the poses just look at some of the swimsuit models on *meow* Poor Edward.

OMG! What could Alice have seen that would make her so frantic? Why did she suddenly want Bella to call Edward?


	16. Charlie's At the Funeral

I don't own, sadly.

I AM SO SORRY! I know I said the chapters would be longer back in chapter 14 but I spent all week trying to think of how to lengthen this. Even thought it's short I hope it's still loved. I've discovered I have a small problem with my writing. All my Bella chapters are longer than my Edward ones. Does that mean I can relate better to Bella or does she just have more to say?

Oh well, enjoy anyway and be sure to hit that review button at the bottom of the page.

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**Chapter 16: Charlie's At the Funeral**

I still can't believe it, Tanya was the one who knocked some sense into me. To be honest, she was the last person in the world I'd expect to be on Bella's side. Tanya had been relentless in her pursuit of me for the last eighty odd years and every time it was the same. Upon seeing me, she would cling on to me and not let go until Carlisle or Eleazar pulled her off, every single time. You would think over more than half a century she would learn I didn't want her.

As I witnessed Bella's actions via Tanya's memory I felt my nether-regions stir to life, painfully so. She was definitely a power to be reckoned with, note to self – do NOT get on her bad side. She was without a doubt the most exquisite, loving creature yet she was also the most courageous and naïve being I had ever laid eyes on. Most of all, she was mine, or at least she will be as soon as she returns from Florida. I had to do some serious thinking about how I was going to prove myself to Bella and show her how much I truly love her. The main problem was figuring out a way to accomplish that without her freaking out on me.

I couldn't wait to have Bella back in my arms where I could kiss, touch, and worship her to my heart's content. After much deliberation, I had the perfect plan all figured out to make things special for the both of us.

After my agonizing session with Tanya, I needed to vent my frustrations so I traveled as far north as prey would allow me. There was no point in going too far north, like the North Pole, where there is no sustenance. You would think that after draining two mountain lions, three grizzlies, four moose and seven deer over the last few days I would be completely satiate and on my way back to Forks. Well, I was kind of on my way back, at the same time I was picking off wildlife as I went.

The last thing I expected during my little trek into the Canadian wilderness was a photo sent via my phone. It was from an unknown phone number but when I opened the image, I knew immediately who sent the photo. The sight of the brunette goddess posing in only a zebra print bikini with the sun kissing her pale skin brought me to my knees. She was beautiful no matter what she wore but her mannerisms while in this outfit radiated sensuality and I longed for her even more. I had a feeling she was posing like that for a purpose and Renée was helping her in her mischievous plan to torment me, well it was working.

She had offered me that body and I had run from it, literally. Tanya was right – I am a chicken shit. At least now I knew what I wanted, I knew what Bella wanted, and I was all too eager to combine those wants.

I was so going to save this picture and later I will enlarge and print it out. I wonder if Renée has any more photos I could ask for, god I hoped so. Of course, if all goes well I can take as many pictures of that fabulous and gorgeous body all I wanted, dressed is what I wanted – with Bella's permission naturally.

Later that day, after rumbling around with a bear I was in desperate need of cleaning. While I was washing off the dirt and grime on the side of a river, I received a call from Rosalie. She sounded upset but not overly panicky. The first thing she said was to not over react, which naturally set off a red flag.

"Hey, Rose, what's up?" I had answered the phone cheerfully, hoping to hear some good news, maybe about Bella. I was honestly happy to see that Rose was calling me, but what she said ripped my world into the tiniest of pieces and scattered them at my feet.

"Edward, I don't want you to over react and I want you to stay calm," telling me not to over react while trying to keep the anxiety out of your voice isn't helping any Rose. As she spoke, I felt my stomach lodge itself in my throat and my heart drop to my feet, which is not a very pleasant feeling. "Um, while Bella was in Florida, she was in an accident. She was hit and taken to the hospital-"

She was what! I glanced at my phone and noticed the 'call lost' blinking on the screen. It took a moment but Rosalie's words to register in my brain but they did, slowly, one at a time. Bella. Florida. Accident. Hit. Hit with what, a ball, a pillow, a tree, a car. Oh, god was she in a car accident!

It felt as if the ground opened up and swallowed me whole. With shaky fingers, I fumbled to dial Bella's phone number. If she were indeed in an accident than someone, anyone would have her phone and would answer it.

"_The number you have dialed is unavailable or out of range please try-_" I growled loudly as I snapped my phone shut. Had Bella really been in a car accident, is that why I couldn't reach her? Was my world crumbling around me and was I helpless to do anything about it?

There were a few other numbers, which I could call to find out for sure. If it was true then I couldn't call my family – they would deny it to avoid any hasty reactions on my part. Charlie would know if there was something wrong, I was positive. With still shaking fingers, I dialed the Swan house phone and I'm hopeful that I will speak to Charlie and he'll have a happier story from me.

"_This is Charlie Swan. Sorry I'm not available right now. I'm currently at a funeral. Please leave your name-_"

I didn't hear anything else past that point because my body had gone completely numb. Every fiber of my being became desensitized at that one word – _funeral_. I vaguely remember feeling the cell phone slipping from my fingers and then making a quiet splashing sound but I paid it no mind.

Charlie is at _Bella's_ funeral…my once brilliant and gorgeous world had gone back to being exceptionally black and desolate. I remembered how my life was before meeting Bella, dark, lonely, desolate, and empty, I don't want to relive that – ever. For all the wishing I was doing, it fell on deaf ears as I quickly sank back into the world of despair and solitude.

I fell to my knees and started punching the ground as hard as I could. The land around me started to shake violently, oh well – people will just think it's an earthquake. After I had pounded a crater about the size of a yacht into the earth around me, I leaned forward and rested my forehead against the battered soil then the tearless bawling began.

The next thing I knew, I was lying on my side staring off blankly at nothing. I was hollow, an empty shell, a creature devoid of their other half and it left me feeling dead inside. Now I was metaphorically and literally dead.

This feeling of hopelessness and aloneness, is this what Bella felt when I left her in my room? Did she feel this broken, this shattered, this alone. It's really depressing that it took me losing her for all eternity to understand the hurting she went through at my abandonment of her.

What kind of cruel game was the fate's playing? As soon as I make the decision to return to Bella, she goes to Florida and while there – she's killed. Were breaks elusive to me? Was I destined to wander this planet alone for however long eternity was?

My beautiful angel had returned to the heavens she had fallen from so unexpectedly. I had made so many plans for us and now they had been smashed, obliterated. Somewhere in the back of my mind, covered by black clouds, I remembered two lines I told Bella. "_You are my life now_" and "you're_ my only reason to stay alive_." I had lost Bella, meaning I lost my life, meaning I had no reason to stay alive anymore – my reason was gone.

I knew no matter what the circumstances, that my family would not help to end my renewed darkness. I could always cross the treaty line and let the wolves turn me into dog food, but that might create problems between my family and the wolves – so that was out. There was only one possibility and I knew it was going to be beyond complicated in convincing them in ending my suffering.

I don't know how long I remained in the fetal position on the cold dirty ground but I had a feeling it was a while. I knew now where I had to go to rid myself of the teeth gnawing a hole in my chest. I knew Alice would have a vision the moment I decided on the road I should take, so whichever I decided I should do it quickly.

In order to stop the shattering pain in my heart I needed to do some traveling – I needed to head for Italy. As I slowly started to stumble my way through the Canadian forest, toward the nearest town and airport, I looked toward the clouded sky and said a promise to my heaven bound angel.

"Bella, I'll be back in your arms very soon."

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_**Chapter End Notes:**_

Yes, I'm repeating myself...I'M SORRY! On a happier note, they'll be back 'together' in chapter 18, so we're getting there.

I believe, out of all my stories, this was the HARDEST to write. It's really hard for me to put into words the heartache of loosing a loved one. I lost a child a few years back and that experience didn't exactly have words to describe the feeling of complete lose, but I did try. I hope it was alright if it was short. Next chapter is longer, I promise because its almost done as it is.


	17. Decision

Sadly, I don't own, I just enjoy playing with SM's creation.

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Chapter 17: Decision

"Alice, what's wrong, why can't I reach Edward?" As if Alice's frantic thought hadn't bothered me before, now that I couldn't get a hold of Edward it put me nearly into hysterics. Never has there been a time where I was unable to contact Edward by phone – something must have happened. "Alice, what's going on, why are we going to your house suddenly?"

'_Calm down Bella, your anxiety is overwhelming,'_ even though Jasper was trying to remain calm for everyone's sake, I felt the Volvo accelerate down the highway.

"WHY CAN'T I REACH HIM?" despite Jasper's attempt to pacify my growing fears, they won out in the end. Before I knew it, Alice was in the back seat next to me. She grabbed me by the shoulders and shook me slightly to get my attention.

'_We'll be at the house in about two minutes and we'll figure out what Rosalie was thinking,'_ she grimaced then snarled at her thought about Rosalie. Had Rose done something wrong? Is she the reason I can't get in touch with Edward?

Surprisingly, I was out of the car before the vampires when we pulled up in front of the large, white mansion. I stumbled up the steps and thrust myself through the front door with incredible force, resulting in sending myself to my knees on the floor inside.

Brontë was lunging for me the second I crossed the threshold and I told her down, she immediately sat and whimpered sadly. I stood in the middle of the living room and though I didn't need to, I screamed at the top of my lungs. "ROSE!"

Before I could even finish saying her name, she was standing in front of my, hands over her mouth and a look like she was ready to cry. _'I'm so sorry Bella. I didn't expect my phone to die.'_

"What happened?" My commanding voice made her flinch visibly. Fists clenched at my sides, standing stiff as a board, I glared at her.

She looked like a small child as she fiddled with the hem of her jean jacket. _'Alice didn't tell you?'_ I shook my head and growled at her. She let out a shaky sigh before relating her story. "I called Edward to inform him that you had been in an accident and you broke your arm…my phone died before I could tell him about your arm."

I actually ordered Rosalie to tell me _everything_ she had said to him. I felt sick. All Edward heard was I was in an accident and knowing him, he would immediately jump to the wrong conclusion.

"Whoa, Bella is actually paler than us," Emmett acknowledged as he walked in from the backyard.

I stumbled my way toward the couch and plopped down, feeling dizzy and lost. What if under the impression I was dead, Edward did something drastic? What would he do exactly? The only solution to stopping whatever he had planned was to go and find him, stop him if necessary. I had to find him, stop him, or beat some sense into him, anything.

Brontë walks up to me slowly and nudges my hand with her nose as she whimpers. I run my hand trough her soft puppy fur while I contemplate my next course of action. I spring to my feet so suddenly that it startles Brontë and she bolts behind Emmett's legs.

Alice is frightened as I storm towards her, I could see it in her eyes. "You had two visions in the car, what were they?" she squirmed under my intense gaze and glanced off to the side, staring at nothing. I imagined sneaking into her room while she was away hunting and proceeded to take scissors to all her clothes. Her eyes flash back to me, full of horror, and she started shaking her head slowly from side to side. "Either you want that to happen or YOU TELL ME!"

She gasped loudly when I started shouting. _'I'm sorry,'_ she hugged her arms around herself in order to draw some form of comfort from within herself. "The first vision was of Edward receiving a phone call from Rose and her phone dying at the crucial point, she didn't get a chance to tell him you were alright."

"How in the world does a vampire forget to charge their phone?" I snapped to no one particularly.

"Blame it on my husband, he-"

"AHH, don't say any more," I covered my ears in a sad attempt to block out her words but it got the point across.

"Bella," Alice said my name meekly and I gazed up at her. "The second vision was of Edward calling you but we weren't in service range yet, then he called Charlie. He got the machine and the message about being at the funeral. He thinks you're dead."

I felt an abyss swallowed me in one easy gulp. Edward thought I was dead, he thought Charlie was talking about _my_ funeral! I took several steps backwards, shocked, panicked, and confused. "We have to call him, prove to him I'm still alive and that everything is going to be alright…"

Alice pulled me into a firm hug and shook her head vehemently. _'We can't,'_ I pulled away from her just enough so I could look at her cheerless face. "He accidently dropped his phone in the river after hearing Charlie's answering machine, he was in shock."

"Oh, okay well we'll go to him, he's only a few miles away, you can run and be there in just a few minutes, I can go with you and he'll see…" Alice shook her head all the through my ramblings and after a certain point I knew we couldn't just run out to the back yard and get him.

"He went hunting in Canada while you were away. I'm not sure where exactly in Canada he is, I'm sorry," she released me from the hug and held me at arm's length. "We'll send Emmett and Jasper out to look for him. In the meantime, I think you should-"

Alice's words cut off suddenly as her face went blank and she fell to her knees, dragging me down with her. She then let out a bloodcurdling scream, her hands immediately flew to her head, and she held it as if she had a massive headache.

Jasper was by her side in a blink of an eye. _'What the hell?'_ he wrapped his arms around her shoulders and tried to still the rocking motion she had started. "Alice, speak to me, what happened?"

She screamed and sobbed for several minutes. Fear, confusion and questions entered everyone's minds upon witnessing Alice's breakdown.

When she spoke, it was in her head. _'What is he thinking? Why would he go there? Is he so eager to end his life that he would go to Italy?'_

I felt what little color I still had in my face leave me as I stared at Alice, shocked. I had recently heard about those that ruled in Italy, the ones that considered themselves kings over the entire vampiric community. Edward was heading to Italy…Oh. My. God!

All I could do was to stare at Alice, in absolute shock at what was running rampant through her mind. I kept my eyes focus on her as I uttered the words I had come to dread. "He's gone to the Volturi…"

"WHAT!" I instinctively covered my ears at the united shout by five frantic vampires.

The coherent vampires scrambled over to Alice and me on the floor, everyone asking questions all at the same time, sounding like a total hen house. I kept my hands over my ears to drown out the verbal noise but the mental noise took a bit more effort and at this very moment, I was incapable of blocking them out.

I started to cringe at the onslaught of mental questions. There were so many that I couldn't focus on any one voice in particular. Before my brain could register what was going on, I found myself practically hauled out of the house by a small sprite.

"Watch Brontë," I didn't even get a chance to question her before she literally threw me into the Volvo.

"Alice?" I tried to shout but it fell short when she reached across me to fasten my seatbelt. "What is going on?"

'_I would think it was obvious,'_ she didn't so much as glance at me as see spun the Volvo around and pealed out of the driveway. "We're going to Italy."

Italy! In all my life I had only been to four states and Mexico, now I'm going half way across the world. I immediately thought about Edward standing under an Italian arbor covered in grape vines. The reason we were going to a foreign country was to save her brother, my soulmate, and heaven forbid if we didn't make it in time.

'_That's the spirit!'_

The speed and force of the car suddenly stopping jolted me forward and I instinctively thrust my hands onto the dashboard. My head snapped up and I focused on the small white house for a measly two seconds before Alice ripped me from the passenger seat. I yipped in surprise as she hauled me inside and dragged me up the stairs.

"Get your passport," she ordered me quickly as she went to my clothes and started grabbing clothes and shoving them into my bad. Alice. Shoved. Clothes. Into. Bag. That was unheard of – she must be as frantic and panicked as I was. As soon as I had my passport, I found myself flying out of the house by my hand.

"What about Charlie? He thinks I'll be back soon?"

"I wrote him a note," she stated bluntly.

"Saying what?" I focused on the road before us.

"That there was an accident in Alaska and Edward was seriously hurt," her voice broke several times as she related her note to me. I don't know how it was possible but my heart started weighing down about another ten pounds.

Based on the way Alice was acting, you would think Bergdorf's was having a 90% sale for the two hours only. Was she hiding something from me? Depending on what it was, that was probably a good thing.

I was in a thick fog for the next hour, my emotion a messed up maze of corners and turns. The normally three-hour drive had turned into a mere hour-long trip, due mostly to Alice's hysterical need to be airborne quickly.

I was still in my heavy fog as Alice rushed me into the airport and hastily bought our tickets. It wasn't until I was buckled into my seat did my brain unclog. I glanced around to take in my environment then sighed, even at a time like this we're in first-class.

Shortly after takeoff, Alice tensed next to me, the armrest whining in protest as her fingers dug in sharply. She stared at the seat in front of her, her eyes unfocused and she gritted her teeth tightly. It was obvious she was having a vision, at least she wasn't screaming – yet anyway.

"Alice?" I placed my shaky hand on top of her tense one and squeezed as much as I was able to against a vampire. "Alice, please tell me."

A minute later she blinked repeatedly then turned her shocked and horror filled face toward me. This was not good. With her eyes still wide as flying saucers, she shook her head from side to side extremely slowly, as if she was trying to convince herself of something rather than me.

"Alice, so help me…" I glared at her while I whispered as quietly as I could then started thinking about which pair of scissors to use.

She whimpered and her eyes instantly sagged. "Oh fine you brat. Edward definitely has his hands full with you," she scowled at me then crossed her arms over her chest. I sat silently and waited patiently for Alice to share her vision with me in a way I would understand. _'We already know that Edward is heading for Volterra,' _she paused, whether in deciding what to think next or for effect I didn't know. _'What I saw was him confronting Aro and his brothers and hoping to be ripped apart. Then he backtracked suddenly, changing his mind to just storming the gates of their castle in hope of accomplishing his desired demise.'_

I shuddered as I attempted to imagine what Alice was telling me. I fought back the tears that were trying desperately to escape. Edward was desperate to end his life and he didn't even realize that he had to real reason to do it. Did he not think about his family if he succeeded in this endeavor?

'_Bella, we have another twelve hours of doing nothing and I doubt 'I Spy' will last very long. Why don't you get some sleep?'_ Alice paged the attendant and quickly received a pillow and blanket for me.

"I'll try but I'm not guaranteeing anything. What will you do?" I rested my head against the pillow, watching her pained face and wrapped the blanket around my shoulders.

'_I'll be watching for a suicidal vampire, waiting to see what he decides so when I see him in person I can kick his ass up and down the streets just for thinking it,'_ that would have been funny if the current situation wasn't so serious.

I closed my eyes and willed sleep to take away the many hours of flight time ahead of me but I wasn't so lucky. Alice's sudden and random thoughts didn't help my effort at slumber in the slightest.

'_Don't you dare!'_

'_Oh good, go hunting.'_

'_Eww Edward, not a goat, gross,'_ I couldn't keep back the smirk at that one.

'_Okay Edward, that is just dumb.'_

'_Think about Bella! I wouldn't do that if I was you.'_

'_Oh Edward that is just sad.'_

'_You wouldn't…'_

Wouldn't what? I sat up and stared at her intently. Her hands flew to her mouth, why I don't know. "What wouldn't he do?"

She glowered at the back of the seat in front of her and I waited for the thing to go up in flames. _'He seems to have come to a conclusion. He's decided how to get them kill him. If they don't, I will when we get there.'_

I slouched in my seat and crossed my arms like a petulant child. "Get in line!"

Her physical demeanor was cool and collected but on the inside, she was in hysterics. _'I think he should be more afraid of facing you than the Volturi.'_

I kept my annoyed appearance and sneered at her. It was a sad realization but in all honesty, she was right. Warning to all vampires – Beware of Bella Swan! I hung my head in disgust – that was a pitiful saying.

'_You're right, that was a pretty ridiculous motto,'_ she was sitting in her seat, bobbing up and down like she was listening to music. Since it was Alice, I guess she was – in her head. I stuck my tongue out at her then turned back around and looked out the window.

It was amazing how she had managed to book us on a connecting flight that departed just minutes after we had arrived. No waiting in the lobby and reading month-old magazines, we did have to rush a little but within ten minutes of landing in New York, we were sky bound again.

The flight over the Atlantic from NY to Italy was excruciatingly lengthy, both physically and metaphorically. On more occasions than I wanted to count, Alice had to reach over and press her hand down on my knee, stilling the twitching it was doing. With each hour that passed without any more visions, and we got closer to Volterra, I felt my heart tighten inside my chest.

I was impressed with myself. For the entire flight to Italy, I played the role of a vampire, sitting motionless except for breathing, simply staring out the small window. Seriously, what was Edward thinking! Obviously, he wasn't or he would have realized from Rose's words that I was all right, why else would she have told him to stay calm. I was seriously debating between kissing him then attacking him with a bat and kissing him some more then asking Emmett to hit him with a tree. Talk about a _love-hate_ relationship, although I don't think this is what it stood for.

With each minute that ticked away, I became more and more anxious, if that was even possible. I was stuck on a plane over some body of water while the love of my life strolled into god-knows-what in a feeble attempt to join me in heaven and I wasn't even there.

'_Calm down Bella, things will be alright. We're about to enter Florence, from there we'll get a car,'_ even if she told me to cool it, there was no way I would be able to do that.

An hour later, we were on the ground, through customs and waited impatiently at the car rental counter. I was surprised Alice hadn't called ahead to arrange a car before we left the house. I stood with my eyes downcast to the floor, trying to find a pattern in the dark carpet – anything to get my mind of the dire situation at hand. I heard a low growl and glance up to see Alice glaring at me from the corner of her eye.

I sighed heavy and looked toward the high ceiling. With all the other traveler in the line before us, I just hoped we would be in time to save Edward. With her speed and foresight, why didn't Alice just steal a fast car!

Alice turned on me in a flash, startling me. _'Are you serious? I didn't think you would allow me to commit grand theft auto. I mean you are the daughter of a police chief!'_

"I know what I am!" I snapped at her aggressively. "Under the circumstances, do you honestly expect me to give you a lecture on what's right and wrong? Your brother is about to commit suicide, the only thing I can think of right now is getting to him as fast as possible and stopping him before too much damage is done!"

'_Good point. Wait out front, I'll be back in…three minutes,_' she quickly meandered through the crowd and I soon lost her spiky dark head.

I turned on my feet and hastened toward the entrance. I squinted and shielded my eyes the second I was through the sliding doors. It was incredibly bright and sunny outside and I was immediately apprehensive about the beings that sparkled in the sun. How were they going to get around without revealing themselves?

The squeal of rubber on pavement drew my attention to the far corner of the airport. A bright yellow car sped quickly into the turnaround and braked abruptly in front of me. The passenger door swung open instantly.

"Bella, get in!" Alice was behind the wheel, her face frenzied and unwavering at the same time. Unwilling to be told twice, I hopped in within an instant of her saying the 'a'. I nearly forgot to fasten my seatbelt as she sped away at top speed. _'I so have to get me a Porsche!'_

For the first time in my life, I shouted the last two words in the world I ever expected to say. "Floor it!"

'_Trust me, I will!'_ I heard the small sports car rev higher and zoom faster down the highway.

Even though I knew we were driving as fast as the car would go, I still feared it wasn't fast enough. One hand clenched tightly on the dashboard and the other was digging into the leather of the seat as Alice wove in and out of traffic, everything nothing but a blur.

"So what's he planning to do, do you know yet?" I asked hesitantly, unsure if I wanted to know what he had finally decided.

'_Yes, I know what he's planning. Do you want to know his plans or do you want to hear what I have figured out in order to thwart him?'_ I sat silently contemplating her question, wondering which I wanted the answer to the most. Internally I knew what my choice was.

I couldn't hold back the rising panic in my veins at the knowledge of what was about to happen. As I gazed out the car window and looked upon the ancient Italian city of Volterra as we drove closer, I had a sinking feeling that we were driving headfirst and full speed toward our own deaths. If Edward and I were together, I would go willingly as long as I got one more kiss to say goodbye.

I held my breath and bit my lower lip all the while sending my earnest wish to Edward. _Please my love, wait for me…

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**_Chapter End Notes:_**

What did Edward decide in order to end his long life? Any guesses? FYI: next chapter is the reunion but if you know me at all you know it won't be sunshine and rainbows, well there will be sun but no rainbows.

I've been thinking about making some videos for Captured, Hidden and my daybreak saga. The problem is I can't think of any songs that would be perfect for them. If anyone has an idea, please tell me!


	18. Time Stands Still

Sadly, I don't own.

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**Chapter 18: Time Stands Still**

I don't even remember my body moving as I made my way to Italy. Did I take a plane like I had planned, did I swim, or did I take a boat? Flying was the fastest way to get to my destination and it was just yesterday that my world collapsed around me…I think it was yesterday anyway.

I knew what I had to do – I had to join Bella. Would god forgive me for what I had done in the past so I could remain by my angel's side? I sighed heavily knowing that was a near impossible likelihood.

Until I could make up a good plan of how to convince the Volturi to rid me of this ongoing pain and renewed loneliness, I would go hunting and clear my head. Much to my dismay, the wildlife in this country was very sparse. If I was near a national park, I would have a much better buffet but I wasn't and I wasn't in the mood to look for one or to make the effort to search for anything more challenging.

Unfortunately, the closest wild game I could find, aside from squirrels and wild boars were some large wild goats. I wasn't looking forward to sampling and having that animal as my last meal. I had to take down three goats just to subdue the burn slightly.

The worst part of my last hunt was no matter what I did or where I went, images of Bella flooded my mind. Her teasing me about bringing her a deer while I was out hunting, which I did, her continually reminding me of my eyes getting black because I was too fixated on her to leave for any extended length of time. She was always more concerned about my well being than her own…god, I love her so much.

Now, that loving, self-sacrificing, caring, beautiful creature was no more and with the help from the Volturi, I would be out of this world and right behind her. Right now, my main focus had to be on the Volturi and ultimately, my demise. I would not, could not live another day, two at most on this earth without _her_.

I walked slowly back to Volterra, weighing my options, considering the pros and cons. Given what Carlisle has told me about Aro, it was unlikely that he would do what anyone asked of him. Carlisle has told me on more than one occasion that Aro was interested in my gift and would absolutely love for me to join them.

Aro and Carlisle have been friends for centuries and Aro had even tried his lifestyle at one point but deemed it wasn't for him. They respected each other, calling one another almost monthly – it was as if they were brothers and for lack of a better description, they were.

There is no way that Aro would just kill me because I asked him to, no, I would have to intimidate him, force his hand to fulfill my biding.

_Keep our existence a secret._

That is the one rule of the Volturi, of all vampires. I could walk right into the main room and announce that I told a human what we were. That wouldn't work because they would search for my family and hers, and that would be going against my _keeping her safe_ rule. What other way was there that I could expose us?

I found myself outside the city of Volterra, shielding myself from the morning sun, running different scenarios through my head. I could go on a killing spree – nix that idea if I wanted to join Bella in heaven.

I rushed from the trees to stand behind a nearby building. The sun danced off my exposed skin, casting jumping lights all around me. I held up my hand and turned it over, watching the sun frolic like diamonds. Bella had said I was beautiful when she saw my skin in the sun, but the _diamonds_ were a sign that I was a monster.

I stared into the forest blankly as an idea came to me. We stay out of the sun for a reason – we try to keep our existence secret. I looked toward the bright and sunny sky, the bits and pieces of my plan falling into place and I thanked those above for allowing me the chance to rejoin my love.

Shadows permitting, I spun around the corner of the brick wall and slunk into the dark tunnel leading into the city. I weaved and meandered my way further in, becoming increasingly surprised at the numerous amounts of people wondering around. Was there a festival going on in the city and I didn't know about it? Oh well, more witnesses the better.

I managed to find an empty and shaded hallway leading to a large courtyard full of people. Men, women, children, elderly, young, and all dressed in vibrant blood red cloaks.

**_DONG_**

I cringed at the sudden assault to my hearing. I glanced around and noticed I was directly beneath the clock tower.

**_DONG_**

This was it, I would step out into the beaming sunlight, I would be one big disco ball for all to see, and the Volturi would cast me down without another thought.

**_DONG_**

Nine more chimes until noon stuck and I will be with my angel again. I could picture her welcoming me with a smile.

**_DONG_**

Soon, very soon, all my suffering will be no more. No more vise holding my heart, no more tightened lungs, just peace.

**_DONG_**

Damn, this clock is taking forever. Why won't it chime faster, this is cruel punishment for someone who wants to die.

**_DONG_**

For an immortal with no concept of time, these twelve seconds were the longest of my even longer life.

**_DONG_**

The Volturi must be getting ready and subconsciously my body knew it. I was starting to hallucinate and hear things.

**_DONG_**

I did short work of the buttons on my shirt and slipped it off my shoulders, letting it fall to the stone floor behind me.

**_DONG_**

My name came whispering on the breeze and each time I heard it, it got louder and louder. Much to my greatest pleasure, it sounded like Bella's voice. It was a great day to die.

**_DONG_**

Chest bare, sun shining, people watching, I took my first step in to the brilliant rays of light. I closed my eyes as I stepped out further.

**_DONG_**

I felt something suddenly collide into my body and I flinched and I was startled when an electrical current shot through my lips.

'_Step back…move out of the sun and into the shadows, NOW!'_ Hearing the voice of the one I love shocked me and I stumbled backwards, falling to the stone floor on my backside.

**_DONG_**

I found myself shaken violently unexpectedly and my eyes popped open. The Volturi must have killed me already because that was the only way I could see my angel again. I reached up and brushed her hair behind her ear.

"I did get in to heaven after all," she was kneeling before me between my legs, desperately gasping for breath.

"Edward, you're…not dead…_yet_," the angel smacked me with her solid left arm then grasped my knees and squeezed as tightly as she could.

"You are so beautiful…my beautiful angel," the angel's eyebrows furrowed together and the glare she shot me immediately caused me to clam up. Her fingernails started to press in through my pants and she leaned forward, pressing her lips to mine so ferociously I could have sworn she was a vampire.

'_Get your head out of your ass! Would an angel have a cast on her arm? I'm not dead and neither are you. I'm not an angel and we're not in heaven, we're in Volterra and-'_ her thoughts and the searing kiss ended and I was rattled immensely and leaned forward slightly in search of her warm mouth.

'_Whoa, what did we walk into?'_ There was a masculine thought from behind me that I didn't recognize and I immediately leapt to my feet and spun around to face them, pulling my angel instinctively behind me. I glared menacingly at the dark haired man the small girl with him. "Well, this isn't what we were expecting."

'_Master didn't warn us of any affection going on. So that's Edward Cullen, meeooww,'_ I snarled quietly at the small blond girl in front of me, her ruby-red eyes. Both had the red-eyes which spoke volumes of what they really were – killers. "Come, Master Aro wants to see both of you."

"May I join you as well?" I didn't falter in my guarding of the one behind me nor did I turn my head to acknowledge my sister's arrival, I didn't even flinch when she tossed my shirt at me. _'Everything will be perfectly fine, trust me.'_

I growled at her and tightened my hold on the girl behind me. The two strangers in front of us turned around and started to walk down the darkened corridor. I slipped my shirt on hastily and a quiet whimper surprised me from behind. I tilted my head to look at her, my eyebrow reaching the sky, questioning her.

She stood up straight and sauntered past me, not a care in the world. I could have sworn she just whimpered when I put my shirt back on. Was I still hallucinating? I stared after her, dumbstruck. If I wasn't dead like she had said and we were both alive, then we were walking heads held high, straight into the lion's den.

Bella was a good twenty feet ahead of me before I pulled myself from my musings and I sprinted up behind her.

I was surprised with myself when I came up on her left side and my right hand reached out on its own volition and massaged her petite and glorious ass. Bella flinch, stiffen and blushed all at the same time and I almost suspected she would spin around and smack me from the look in her eyes.

This was something new. Normally Bella would be ecstatic that I would be touching her. Maybe it was just bad timing, maybe she was mad at me, heaven forbid she didn't want me to touch her anymore. I shuddered at the thought.

After several minutes of walking in the dark passageways, we came upon a manhole of sorts. Jane jumped down, followed by Alice.

'_Pass Bella to me,'_ I grabbed Bella by the hands and lifted her over the top of the hole and lowered her down to Alice's waiting arms. _'I got her, now it's your turn.'_

I leapt down the hole and took Bella from Alice's arms, cradling my sweet angel against my chest tightly. At that moment, I made a silent vow – I would never let her go again! I was relieved when she wrapped her arms around my neck and buried her face against my chest – I think she even smelled me. Demetri followed behind me and we set off at a quick pace down the dank and dark sewer like tunnel.

Because we were traveling at a hastened human pace but still slow for the average vampire, we made it to the end of the tunnel in no time. We stood before a pair of old medieval looking doors; they appeared ominous in their silent stance. Jane pressed something on the stonewall in front of us and the menacing doors slid open to reveal a small sterile white room.

I placed Bella on her feet as Jane walked into the ten by ten foot room. We followed behind Alice into the small space, Demetri entered last and the door slid closed behind him. I glanced around and noticed it was an elevator, the Volturi have an elevator – if circumstances were different I would be laughing loudly.

Jane spun around and pressed a sequence of buttons into a pad on the wall. The box lurched upwards slightly and the most god-awful Italian music started playing through the internal speakers.

Bella clung to my shirt so tightly that her knuckles were going white. She was starting to shiver next to me and for once, I don't think it was due to my chilling proximity to her. I leaned down and kissed her quickly.

I'll protect you with my life, everything will be fine, I promise.

'_Everything __**will**__ be fine, Alice already saw it,'_ she pulled away and stuck her tongue out at me comically.

The elevator came to a sudden stop, causing all of us that weren't used it to stumble slightly. Jane exited the small chamber and nodded her head, indicating we were to follow her, which we did hesitantly.

Four vampires and one human walked silently down the passageway. The walls, ceiling and floor were made of a large grayish stone and covered in bright burgundy and gold banners hanging everywhere.

Jane stopped next to a reception desk and turned to stare intently at us, her face as flat as a board with no emotions. _'Too bad he's mates with a human, hmm, I could change that,'_ my hold on Bella tightened instinctively and a snarl climbed its way from my throat. Jane blinked in surprise at my hostility towards her then quickly smoothed her face again. "Master Aro is busy at the moment. Gianna will see you to a chamber for you to rest up in until he is ready."

With that said, Jane turned and disappeared down the hall. Once she was gone, I looked around and noticed the tall, olive skinned human sitting behind the desk. This must be Gianna. Bella's grasp on my arm tightened and I was a bit curious as to her sudden shift in disposition.

'_She isn't really my type but it might be interesting to see what's so special about this human girl…'_ I rounded on Demetri before he could even finish his thought and growled at him viciously. _'What the hell, did I say that out loud…I don't think so?'_

Gianna scurried up to us, succeeding in breaking the tense atmosphere that we had created. She spoke in very broken English with a heavy Italian accent. "This way please guests." _'I sure hope they decide to change me soon. I don't want to be intimidated by them any longer.'_

We were guided down a carpeted hallway to some chambers that held a large, four poster bed. The three of us entered and waited for Gianna and Demetri to leave. Demetri smirked at me and winked at Bella before he shut the door. Bella shuddered next to me and I knew exactly why, Demetri had an eye for here. Please don't let any of the other Volturi take a liking to her.

I pulled Bella toward the bed and sat down. When I attempted to place her on my lap, she immediately moved so she was sitting on the bed next to me. Maybe she didn't want to be on my lap in case others visited, it would be too embarrassing for her.

I wrapped my arms around Bella's shoulders and drew her closer to my chest then placed a lingering kiss on the top of her head. Without moving my head even a fraction, I posed my first question. "So now what do we do, all-seeing-psychic-sister-of-mine?"

She closed her eyes then let out the loudest sigh I had ever heard from her. _'Now we wait.'_

"Wait for what?" I snapped at her irritating answer.

Her eyes opened slightly and they focused on the barred window behind me. _'Wait for Aro to get off the phone…with Carlisle.'_

Wait, what! Our Carlisle? Why was he on the phone with Carlisle? That wasn't possible! What were they talking about, probably his son that had run amok and tried to commit suicide. Oh, this was not going to be pretty.

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_**Chapter End Notes:**_

So how does that work for different? Nice twists right? How was it being able to see into the mind of a suicidal vampire trying to off himself?

I had to fix a small thing that always bugged me in NM. Why didn't Edward just carry Bella through the tunnels since she couldn't see as well as the vamp? It makes sense to me now.

Any guesses as to why Aro is on the phone with Carlisle?


	19. Tests

SM owns, I don't, I'm just enjoying playing with her characters.

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**Chapter 19: Tests**

That little sharp-toothed demon that ate away at the edges of my heart was starting to shrink away and its teeth became dull. I clung to Edward as if my life depended on it and in most ways, it did. I may not be dead but being wrapped up in Edward's arms I felt like I was in heaven.

He continued to press kiss after kiss on my forehead, cheeks and lips, all of them sweet, innocent and quick. It was almost as if he was trying to validate for himself that I was actually here and alive.

I know I said I was going to rip him a new one but when my eyes landed upon him across the plaza, all thought of yelling at him left me. I was in such a panicked rush to get to him in time that the only thing that was going through my mind was sun plus, vampire plus, sparkles equals freaked out humans and certain death.

That, was not a fate I would allow to happen at any point in my life.

Now that I had Edward back in my arms, that's where he was going to stay – Volturi be damned! Maybe I could reason with them, make them understand our connection, maybe it would even help to convince Edward to change me.

I sat cuddled tightly in Edwards arms, my eyes barely moving further than from the man I was holding securely. As my eyes moved around the room slowly, I noticed the large stonework continued in here as well along with the burgundy but it was in the curtains and the bedspread instead.

My eyes scrunched as they narrowed on the bed. "Why do the Volturi have a room with a bed anyways, vampires don't sleep?"

Edward snickered slightly as he pressed a kiss on my forehead. "For the same reason we do. In case of human visitors, it gives them the illusion that we sleep. Moreover, the Volturi never leave so their bankers, realtors and other service providers' sometime visit."

'_Finally!'_ Alice looked toward the ceiling and rolled her eyes. Edward and I looked her questioningly but before either of us could voice our questions there was a loud knock on the giant wooden door.

Alice bounded over to the door and quickly opened it – she seemed a bit too cheerful if you ask me.

"Aro is ready for you now," the small feminine voice echoed from out in the hallway.

Alice turned her head from the doorway to gaze at us. _'Well, let's go,' _she then skipped out of the room.

Yes, definitely excessively too chipper!

Edward and I stood up off the bed together and I immediately grasped his left hand with my right and squeezed tightly. He leaned down and kissed me.

'_I'll protect you, no matter what the cost.'_

His words helped calm me a little but I didn't want him to fight if it meant sacrificing himself for me. Martyrdom isn't an option in my book.

Together we followed the hyperactive pixie out of the room and started following the small vampire we had encountered previously, the same one that had meowed at Edward under the clock tower earlier. I couldn't hold back the glare I was shooting at the back of her perfectly styled headed.

She walked through a matching set of enormous, heavy looking, intricately carved double doors into a large chamber room. Hesitantly we filed in behind her, my hold on Edward intensifying. Jane walked over and stood by three large empty thrones and Alice just pranced inside and stood nonchalantly in the center of the room, waiting for us.

We walked over to her and I grabbed her hand the best I could with having a cast on. Considering what we were about to face, I could use all the support I could get. If I wasn't already nervous, seeing the unoccupied seats before us only made it worse. If they wanted to see us, than why not be present for our arrival.

'_Wonder how I can convince him to leave the human. I'm available!'_ I bit my lower lip and buried my face into Edward's chest to avoid retaliating at the annoying girl.

'_My, my, who would have thought a normal human girl could look so sexy. Maybe I can persuade her into discovering paradise with a manlier vampire,'_ at hearing a masculine thought I squeezed Edward's hand as tightly as I could and tried to bury my face further against his chest at the same time I felt and heard the growl from him. What are with these vampires, are they all sex deprived?

'_Even after all these years Carlisle still has a sense of humor. I can barely handle a castle of vampires, how in the world can he handle five teenager vampires? It's beyond me and to throw a human in to the mix, strange.'_

I pried my face away from Edward's chest and glanced toward a darkened hallway with a singular door. In walk three eerily pale vampires. The first two have long black hair, one taller than the other one. The third has pale blond hair that is nearly white and is about the same height as the shorter dark haired vampire.

The second they walked in further, the first vampire's eyes widened and beamed upon seeing us. _'So this is the infamous Edward and Bella.'_

Infamous, us? Infamous in a good or bad way? His excitement at seeing us made me very nervous and frightened. I clung to Edward tighter while chanting in my head over and over again the exact same line – Please don't find out about my gift. Edward pulled me closer to him, as the enthusiastic vampire flashed over to us.

Without warning, he grabbed our joined hands and shook them vigorously. "Isabella, Edward, I'm so glad to finally meet you. I'm Aro," _'I'm so glad Carlisle called and warned me about Edward's plan. I wouldn't want any of my coven to perish either.'_

I glanced up at Edward and saw his jaw tighten in annoyance. Carlisle called him and warned him, why? Edward started to growl quietly and Aro raised an eyebrow. "What do you mean, Carlisle warned you?"

Aro leaned back and clasped his hands together in front of him then he laughed. It would have been giddy if it didn't sound so sinister. "Oh it's so great to witness your gift first hand!"

I cringed at his words, knowing full well that he has wanted Edward on his team for years makes an ice cold shard run up and down my back. You would think that after all this time of being told no, that he would stop pursuing him.

"Aro?" a deep, somber voice echoed through the room and we all turned to look at the taller vampire whose eyes were very wide in surprise. "Questi due sono le ultime anime gemellate! Incredibile!"*

"Siete sicuri?"* Aro's hands dropped to his sides as he looked intently at the other man, his eyes equal as wide then, his head snapped back around and he started gazing at us again._ 'Twin souls? That's impossible.'_ I now know how my goldfish felt when I would watch him.

"Positivo,"* I felt the sudden urge to hide behind Edward but I stood my ground as the tall vampire slowly stalked toward us. Other than James, I had never been scared of a vampire before and I wasn't about to start now.

He stopped several feet from us and examined us up and down. "Sorry, I am Marcus, Aro's brother-in-law. I didn't mean to alarm you. The connection you two have is remarkable, extraordinary, and unmatched. No one can change or undermine your relationship. You two have to stay together for your own sanities."

His eyes remained wide and searching as he gazed upon us, his shock was evident on his pale face. Out of the corner of my eye, I saw the platinum blond vampire shake his head in annoyance and walk over to the thrones then sat down regally in the one on the far right.

'_Speaking from experience there are you dear brother. Good lord, get over it.'_

I narrowed my eyes at the insensitive head of the Volturi on the throne.

"Oh, don't mind Caius, he hardly ever talks," the one named Caius scoffed and looked away, bored. Aro clasped his hands back together and his enormous smile was back on his face. "As I was saying," he glared at Marcus as he spoke then turned back to facing us. "Carlisle called this morning to inform me that his son was under the impression that his mate was dead and sought us out in order to kill him. Carlisle asked if we could stop you and let you know that your mate was on her way here to fetch you."

Aro extended his right hand out to Edward and waited. "May I?"

Edward sneered at him then extended his own hand and placed it in Aro's nearly translucent one and his eyes slid closed. I held tightly to Edward during his interacting with Aro, the whole time thinking repeatedly not to find out I could read minds as well.

After a minute of complete silence, Aro's eyes snapped open and he looked at me attentively. "La tua cantante*…remarkable. Your twin soul and your singer, how…" he shook his head as if to shake loose something that had a hold of his head. "How are you capable of being so close to her?"

"Lots of practice," Edward replied bluntly and with a smirk.

Aro studied Edward then looked back at me, arching an eyebrow. _'He chose a human girl for a mate? It's not like we have a shortage of available female vampires here! But you can't go against the bond of twin souls.'_

I tried desperately to hide the possessiveness that tried to rear its ugly head, now would _not_ be a good time to announce my gift to the Volturi, if I ever decided to. Edward squeezed my hand briefly to alert me to any misgivings my face and emotions tended to give out.

Aro then tilted his head to the side and gazed long and hard at me. _'I wonder if what Carlisle mentioned is true. Is it possible that Edward can't hear her thoughts? Wonder if she'll let me test her unusual ability?'_

Edward started growling so loudly that even my human ears could hear it, and it was loud. "Why don't you ask her yourself?"

Test, what test? I glanced up at Edward's serious expression and I grasped his hand firmly. Please don't let them find out I can read minds, that could be the worst possible fate imaginable. Please say that Aro only wanted to test my math skills!

Aro takes a step to the side, placing himself right in front of me, and then he held out his right hand in a gesture for me to take it. My eyes shot immediately to Edward in worry who was glaring daggers at Aro. Edward glanced at me briefly from the corner of his eye then went tight back to staring at Aro before he nodded his head slightly.

Without warning, Edward's fingers loosened and my hand fell free of his. My heart stopped for a split second before I realized that he had to let go of my hand in order for me to offer it to Aro. Hesitantly, I placed my trembling hand in Aro's firm but cold grasp.

He smiled up at me when my skin touched his, I wanted so badly to rip my hand from his but I stayed put. I waited and listened for anything from him that would give me away. I heard the thoughts around me but I ignored them, despite how much I wanted to retaliate.

'_God that guy has a fine ass.'_

'_Wonder how loud she screams?'_

'_Just kill them Aro and get it over with!'_

'_I can't believe there is a pair of twin souls, here!'_

'_That little one is pretty cute.'_

I looked everywhere in the room but at Aro, his expression of excitement wasn't something I wanted to witness. It was only a matter of time now before he found something to keep me here.

'_Nothing,'_ I turned my head slowly toward Aro and his face was completely blank. _'I hear nothing at all!'_

He gradually tilted and turned his head toward Edward then released my hand. "I hear absolutely nothing from Isabella, not a single whisper."

I weaved my fingers in between Edward's as hastily as I could, eager to have our comforting electricity back between us. If things were going to go south, I would at least have Edward's touch with me.

"Welcome to my world," mumbled a low whisper and I turned to look at Edward just in time to see him sighing and rolling his eyes. I all too willingly glared at him but he kept his eyes trained intently on Aro. The laugh I heard from Aro was louder and more sinister than before and it sent shivers raking throughout my body.

"It would appear that Isabella is also immune to my talent as well. I wonder, are you immune to all of our powers?" He tilted his head ever so slowly towards Jane than back to Edward and me with a sinister grin on his face. _'Jane would be the perfect one to test on her.'_

'_Oh yes, do I get to torture the girl?'_

Before I could question anyone about what he meant, Edward reacted. He shoved me toward Alice, who caught me quickly and without problem before he lunged for the small girl standing still next to the thrones.

In the next instant, she stared evilly at Edward and smiled at him, and then he was falling to the stone floor, writhing in pain. Not a word was said, no magical hand motions, nothing – she just looked at him and he fell like a ton of bricks. The screaming coming from Edward was too much for me to handle, I actually managed to get out of Alice's hold and I leapt for the immortal hollering on the floor.

I shouted out at the top of my lungs for them to stop. The second my knees hit the hard floor next to Edward's side he ceased his screaming and he stared up at the ceiling blankly, breathing heavily. I glared daggers at the girl called Jane and she returned to me a smug smile.

'_He just __**had**__ to interfere didn't he? Such nobility will only cause him pain."_

I attempted to ignore the thoughts of those around me and focus on calming Edward. I traced his jaw line and facial structure with my fingers. My own jaw tightened and I snapped up to glare at Jane as her thoughts hit me full force.

'_What a dumb-shit, did he honestly believe he could save his human toy from the likes of me? My gift works against everyone.'_

That did it! I bent down and pressed my lips firmly to Edward's, hoping that the depth of my affections would reach him in his pained and dazed state. Please trust me and believe that I'll be all right – was my one screaming thought before I stood up and faced Jane.

Edward's eyes filled with panic as he watched me step away from him and took a step toward the danger in front of me. I glanced at him quickly, conveying with my eyes my apology. I took another step forward and faced my threat head on.

'_She doesn't seem scared. What is wrong with this girl?'_

'_Wow, she's brave to be facing off with Jane.'_

'_Is she insane? That's Jane…hey, I just made a rhyme.'_

All thoughts aside, I faced Jane and watched as she stared intently at me and waited for her to do her worst. The wait was excruciating, just get on with it already!

'_Something is wrong, why is nothing happening?'_

I continued to stare at her, daring her to hit me, zap me, pound me, doesn't matter what it is, as long as she does it. We were both startled from our staring contest by a loud maniacal laugh. Jane and I both halted our visual assault and looked toward Aro as he walked in my direction.

He stop just in front of me and played with a strand of my hair. "Oh Isabella, I can't wait to see how your gift will develop once your changed."

His words drew me in, he wanted me changed, the leader of the vampires wanted me to join his species, race, or whatever they consider themselves to be. The growl behind me was loud, menacing and very scary – without looking, I knew it was Edward. No matter what the circumstances were, he was still adamant about me staying human, no matter what.

I turned and looked at him with pleading eyes. He knew from day one of our relationship just how much I wanted to be like him, to spend eternity in his embrace but that never made him waiver.

"Edward, you can cease your growling, I'm not going to make you change her here and now. Nevertheless, unless you want her to die now, she'll be changed into a vampire and soon. That is our one rule," for the first time since I had met Aro, his face became very serious as he gazed between us.

'_Edward, you know it happens, you've seen the pictures,'_ what pictures, I want to see.

"Bella _will_ become a vampire!" Aro ordered. "Out of the graciousness of my heart, you have until just after graduation. That gives you time to plan her death, create a cover story and make arrangements regarding relocating." _'I can't wait to see what Isabella is like as an immortal.'_

I literally felt my eyes light up at the fact that I would be a vampire. I was going to get my eternity with the man I love. I actually felt my internal Bella doing a happy dance all around the large room. All the possibilities of what eternity meant and the capabilities of what we could accomplish over time made me feel giddy inside.

Strong arms ripped me from my daydreaming by wrapping around my waist suddenly and clinging on tightly. I glanced up to see Edward holding me securely against his chest and snarling at Aro.

Aro turned and walked slowly toward his throne. "Also Edward, I would absolutely love to see you and Isabella once she's been changed," he sat down in his seat then smiled at us. _'Maybe I can convince the two of you to join us here.'_

"Not very likely," Edward snapped back, his hold on me intensifying.

"Jane, please escort our guests back to their room. Once it is nightfall, someone will escort you out of the castle," he rested his hands lithely in his lap and bestowed on us the biggest smile I've seen from him. "Thank you for visiting and I can't wait for your return."

I instinctively latched onto Edward's shirt forcefully as we turned and started to follow Jane, Alice trailing after us close behind. As we walked out of the room, I saw a tall and beautiful woman leading a group of tourist inside. I involuntarily stiffened as I realized they would never leave that room – alive. Edward ran his hand up and down my spine and drew intricate circles on my back and we walked in silence down the hallway.

'_Is there something wrong with me? Have I lost my edge?'_ Jane brought us back to the room we were in earlier and slammed the door behind us.

"She doesn't seem very happy," Alice crossed her arms over her chest and glared at the door.

I chuckled quietly. "She's not. I'm the first she couldn't down with her powers and she's pissed about it."

Alice turned on me so fast it would have given her whiplash then she stalked toward me at a snail's pace. Her eyes darted between her brother and me, questions beaming brightly behind her lashes. _'Tell me, how were you able to calm Edward down after his bout with Jane?'_

CRAP! The reason behind that was something we had never shared with anybody and I seriously doubt now was a good time, since we were in a castle full of beings with super hearing. "I'll explain once were away from here."

Her eyes narrowed to a bare slit and she growled quietly. "I'll hold you to that Swan."

Edward moved us over to sit down on the bed. He tried to pull me onto his lap but I clung tightly to his arm so he left me by his side. Sitting on his lap was too intimate in my mind and intimacy is what got us into this mess in the first place – I didn't want to push any boundaries that would send him running again. I couldn't live through that sort of pain again.

_**Chapter End Notes:**_

Please don't criticize if my translations are wrong. I got them from a free online translator, I only speak English and a little bit or Japanese, nothing else.

In order of story:

*These two are the last twin souls! Incredible!

*Are you sure?

*Positive.

*Your singer.

So, the reveal of the result of their conjoined gift is coming. How do you think Alice is going to react? Did you like my V-club? I wanted them more laid back and OOC or perverted in some cases (ie: Jane, Demetri).


	20. Together Yet Not

Twilight+Awesome=Stephenie Meyers-Me (Not Mine).

I nearly didn't get this chapter out today. Been remodeling our house so haven't had much time to type. Husband was busy elsewhere to I typed like crazy.

Hope the chapter is up to par, I like how it turned out.

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**Chapter 20: Together…Yet Not**

When darkness finally fell, Jane and Demetri guided us from the Volturi castle, a bit begrudgingly. They led us back to the elevator then down to the tunnels we had entered earlier in the day. The two red-eyed vampires weren't happy to be playing babysitters nor were they happy to be getting rid of us either, they wanted us for their own means. Once out of the elevator, I quickly grabbed Bella, cradling her bridal fashion against my chest, and then dashed for the exit.

As soon as we were out of the tunnels, Alice disappeared, stating she was locating our mode of transportation. I steered Bella toward the outskirts of town where the buildings grew less and less cramped. I held her as close to my body as I could get her, and I would frequently place kiss after kiss on the top of her head.

We found a tall-secluded apple tree just outside town and we relaxed up against it while we waited for the pixie to reappear. I hugged Bella tightly to my chest, ecstatic to have her body pressed against mine once again. Her warm body leaning in at all the right places, causing my body to respond in a way I used to dread, but now only succeeded in urging me on.

Keeping her body pressed to mine, I reached my hands up to her face and tilted it so I could look into her lovely, chocolate pools. She blinked unhurriedly a couple of times as her eyes focused on mine and a small smile slowly appeared on her lips. Despite what my head was telling me, my body was winning out over reason and I crashed my lips down on hers.

I'm so glad you're alive. My endless night has its dawn back. You've given me back my reason to smile, my reason to live again. I'll love you for eternity and longer. You can't begin to understand how sorry I am and I'll give you anything your heart…

Bella pulled away from me suddenly, leaving my lips unusually cold. I didn't know whether to glare, raise an eyebrow or growl at her actions so I stared at her blankly, confused as to why she ended the kiss and my apology.

"You need to hunt, your eyes are too dark," her eyes darted between each of mine before she spun around and placed her back against my chest, then took my hands and wrapped them around her waist.

Her actions and sudden mood changes were starting to give me whiplash, now I knew what she meant by my mood swings. However, mine had been to keep her at a safe distance and I was waging an internal battle trying to stay away from her at the time. Now, I wanted to go in guns blazing, Bella's moods on the other hand, seemed inviting and affectionate then she would slam on the brakes, abruptly even.

It was starting to cause me to question if her feelings for me had changed. I hope she didn't come all the way to Italy just to prove that she wasn't dead and that she had ventured so far to show the depths of her feelings. Standing up to the Volturi was very daring and proved that she would go through hell for me – which Volterra is, hell on earth.

I tightened my arms around her waist before nuzzling her hair away from her neck with my nose so I could lavish her neck in kisses. "I'll hunt when we're back in Forks. Would you like to hear what I heard from Aro and Marcus when we left?"

She started to squirm with each kiss to her neck and she moaned each time I would focus on one spot and suck on the tender skin. "Sure," she said breathlessly.

"It has been rumored, that a singer is actually the soulmate and sometimes even the twin soul of that one particular vampire. But the delicious aroma of the singer's blood is so tempting that no vampire has denied themselves long enough to learn about the other draws of their singer," I continued to lick and suck on her neck and ear lobe.

Bella tilted her head slightly to gaze at me from the corner of her eye. "What about Emmett, didn't he come across his singer twice already?"

I rested my chin on her shoulder as I looked out over the darkened landscape. "True, but he had already found his soulmate in Rose. I've heard about some people out there having more than one soulmate maybe that was the case with Emmett."

She nodded in understanding then quickly pecked my cheek with her lips. "At least you were able to withstand my delicious aroma long enough to discover my other appeals."

I squeezed her snugly to my body and she seemed to panic when she apparently felt my growing erection on her back. Her head started to dart around the outline of town, most likely looking for Alice, her entire body was stiff as a board and it made me nervous.

Bella broke from my grasp and headed toward the road suddenly. "There she is!"

The loss of her warm body pressed into mine was mournful and I craved the touch of her skin on mine painfully so. I half sighed half growled and followed behind Bella to the road and the approaching dark sedan. It stopped in front of Bella with a screeching sound and the window whirled down.

'_Anyone here going to Forks, Washington need a lift?'_ I smirked at my sister as her smiling face darted from Bella back to mine then back to Bella. _'I grabbed our stuff from the Porsche. I figured we could use the extra room and not the extra speed now. God I loved that car.'_

Bella climbed into the back seat and lay down as if she was going to sleep. Not wanting to be very far from her, I rounded the car and slid into the backseat as well, placing her head down on my lap. She stilled again for a moment then relaxed her cheek on my leg.

"Don't you dare go to sleep yet Swan! You owe me an explanation remember," Bella winced at my sisters words then turned her head slightly to look at me, pleading in her eyes so I took pity on her.

"You know how we can't hear each other's thoughts?" Alice nodded and I continued. "Well, when we kiss, we can hear one another. During the Jane thing, Bella kissed me and told me to trust her," I suddenly remembered something and stared down at Bella. She was looking away from me and staring at the back of the front passenger seat, she looked panicked and I didn't know why.

"So much for the all-seeing-all-powerful-pixie-demon, I thought you could see everything," Bella snapped sarcastically.

She glared at Bella from the corner of her eye. _'Not when you will your shield to conceal that little fact.'_

I stared down at Bella, surprised, had she really done that. She looked as surprised as I was. Maybe it was a subconscious act.

"That reminds me," I leaned down and pressed a kiss to her cheek then whispered very sensually into her ear. "How did you know you'd be alright against Jane?"

She shuddered slightly then a small smirk worked its way over her lips. "Kate tried to shock me when she was down with the others, it didn't work. I'm immune to others gifts, you saw that with Aro, you've witnessed it first hand – you can't read me either."

She was right, why hadn't I seen it before. She was a shield, hence the reason I couldn't read her mind, which also meant that other abilities would be rendered inert against her. Like Aro had said, she was going to make an incredible immortal, and now, by vampiric law, her change into a vampire was only a matter of time.

I grabbed her face softly and gently tilted her to face me and slowly I pressed my lips affectionately to hers, loving the feel of her warm flesh molding to my icy stone ones. Bella moaned against my ministrations.

Do you have any idea how much I love you?

'_I have a pretty good idea,'_ she nodded faintly.

Now get some sleep, you need it.

'_I can't sleep and I won't till we're back.'_

Even under the current circumstances, she was still stubborn.

'_You bet your hot ass I am,'_ she pulled her head away then stuck her tongue out at me before looking over at Alice suddenly. "Is there a pit st-"

'_Just around the corner, I know, you need a human moment,'_ she winked at Bella then focused on the road before her. The sky was lightening, indicating dawn was quickly approaching and in no time, it would be light out.

In a matter of a few minutes, we pulled into a gas station parking lot and parked the car. Bella was out of the car and sprinting for the building in seconds. I chuckled to myself as I headed inside the small convenience store and bought Bella a bottle of water and some fruit.

Bella was waiting by the car when I returned. She stood with her back to me and she was chatting enthusiastically with my sister. I walked up behind my love and stealthily wrapped my arms around her waist and rested my chin on her shoulder.

She stiffened instantly, after about a minute she finally relaxed into my arms. How many times had she reacted in that way to me now? Three, five, or maybe seven times already? What in the world is going on with her and it only seems to be when I touch her affectionately.

I stared off into space, a scowl on my face at no one particular as I tried to determine the cause for her reactions. My angel was acting strangely and I hand the sinking suspicion it was my fault. Now the question was, how do I fix it?

"Can I ask a question?" Bella's voice was small and shy.

"Of course love," I gently tugged on her ear as I responded to her.

Bella hesitated for a moment then took a deep breath before speaking. "When Aro took your hand," she glanced at me, her eyes searching. "Why didn't he find out that I can read minds? He only knew about my shielding abilities. What about Alice's gift?"

That was a great question. Why hadn't Aro learned about all her abilities? He should have discovered her mind reading as soon as he held my hand, but he didn't. How had he not learned of something so important? I glanced at my sister and stared at her oddly when she started singing the Star Spangle Banner in French and bouncing on the balls of her feet.

When is she going to learn that doing stuff like that is a dead giveaway that she's hiding something? Knowing Alice, that would be never. "Alright pixie, spit it out."

My arms tightened around Bella's waist instinctively as I waited for Alice's response. _'Bella was holding your hand when Aro held your other correct?'_ I thought back to the events and nodded. _'Bella was internally hoping that Aro wouldn't find out about her mind reading tendencies. She shielded her other gift from being seen. As for my abilities, Aro's known for some time. He would rather have a seer without any gaps in their visions and since my visions are based on people's decisions – I'm considered flawed.'_

This was Bella's doing? I glanced over and saw that Bella was just as surprised as I was. She stared blankly at Alice and mouthed 'I did that' just before a small smile appeared on her lips and slowly grew in to a full blown, heart-melting grin.

Without warning, she spun around in my grasp and threw her arms around my neck, giggling slightly. "We're safe…he doesn't know…my gift is safe!" she stunned me again by pressing her lips firmly against mine. The sudden momentum knocked me backwards and into the car, the ferocity behind her kiss was mind-blowing.

'_I love you so much, never leave me again,'_ even her thoughts sounded desperate and pleading and it caused my stone cold heart to ache.

Never again will I leave you. It drove me insane to be away, now I know why. We _have_ to stay together. Involuntarily my hands roamed up her back and one fisted into her hair, the other traveled back down her spine toward her jean clad tight ass.

The sound of a throat being cleared echoed loudly beside us. I had completely forgotten that Alice was currently standing not five feet from us. Bella literally jumped away from me, her face was the darkest shade of crimson I had ever seen and apparently, she had forgotten our audience as well.

"T…time to go," Bella started couching on air and fumbled her way into the back seat of the car.

I watched her, fascinated by her small, perfect ass as she climbed to the other side of the car. I had become a total pervert during my time away from her and watching her delicate and lithe frame move about in front of me, I realized three things. The first, I was a complete idiot for pushing _that_ away, second, I was enjoying every minute of being a pervert, and third, apparently I was an ass man?

Alice shoved me toward the back seat and gave me a _get over it_ eye roll then walked around the car and climbed into the driver seat. I was struck dumb for a moment when I climbed into the back seat and gazed at my companion. It was like a scene straight out of Basic Instinct and I could have sworn a bit of drool fell from my mouth.

I eagerly shut the car door and turned to Bella, only to be met with her turning slightly and resting her head on my shoulder. How many more times is she going to shock me with her actions before we get home? She is absolutely driving me crazy, in more ways than one.

Relief flooded through my body when we entered the airport. We were one more step further away from the Volturi and one more step closer to freedom. We had a short wait until our flight to New York boarded and I was content to keeping myself wrapped around Bella, absorbing the warmth that she offered.

Alice hummed happily in the seat next to us. The fact that Bella and I were alive and safe obviously made her giddy with happiness. Not that I blame her – Bella was alive, she was currently in my arms, she still loves me, what more could I ask for.

I actually jumped when the loud speakers announced the boarding of our flight, I must have been totally absorbed in Bella for something to startle me, it was a surprise in and of itself.

In a matter of minutes, we settled into our first class seats and waited for our plane to finally takeoff. Even while in separate seats, Bella leaned over the armrest as far as she could and clung tightly to my shirt. It was as if she feared I would disappear from her grasp at any moment. That couldn't be furthest from the truth.

After we were in the air, I buzzed the flight attendant and asked for a blanket and pillow. I waited all of two minutes for the items I asked for then handed them to Bella. She shook her head violently then leaned up and kissed my left cheek briefly before she settled back down and rested her head on my left shoulder. With my free right hand, I drape the blanket over Bella, wrapping it around her shoulders and across my lap.

She glared up at me and I smirked back at her. I didn't care if she wouldn't sleep. I could at least make her comfortable and hope she would get some sleep. She had dark patches under her eyes, which indicated she wasn't getting enough sleep and it worried me.

"When was the last time you slept?" I asked into her ear. Without looking at me, she held up her hand and started to count things off on her fingers. Now I was really nervous and worried.

"About three days, maybe four – the time zones have me all confused. Basicly my last night in Florida was when I slept last," she replied so nonchalantly without a car in the world.

I growled quietly and winced. "Since you refuse to sleep till you're home, I'll allow it but the minute your home you have to promise me you'll sleep as long as your body needs it."

Bella nodded and wiggled her cheek against my shoulder, a small smile touching her lips.

'_Aren't they cute together, reminds me of my husband and me,'_ an older woman reminisced.

'_Wish my boyfriend was that drop dead gorgeous,'_ Bella giggled quietly at that thought.

'_Day-um, looks like he has a nice piece of ass,' _my eyes shot up and I scanned over the heads for the one the thought belonged to. Bella placed her dainty hand on my chest when I subconsciously started to growl.

"_You_ have me, not him. Calm down and remember that," Bella whispered softly against my shoulder. She was right, no matter what or who was involved; Bella and I would always be together.

I tilted my head down slightly and pressed my lips to the top of her head, lingering, enjoying the feel of her silky mahogany tresses against my lips. I leaned against Bella as much as was possible considering the airplane style armrest. I rested my left hand on her thigh and squeezed gently, Bella sat up straight and stiffened instantly – I waited patiently for her to relax.

Ten minutes later, she still resembled a board, I squeezed again and her rigidness seemed to go up a bit. I trailed my hand down to her knee and she relaxed faintly, I traveled back up and the stiffness was back again. Was it my touch?

I removed my hand altogether and she finally relaxed into her seat then slowly rested her head back against my shoulder. It was my touch! Now I was pissed.

I fumed for the entire fourteen hours worth of flying and the one-hour of waiting in New York for our connecting flight to Seattle. Bella was obviously happy to have me back and she seemed ecstatic when we would kiss but anything beyond simple kissing, even passionately, almost seemed forbidden. God, what I wouldn't give to see into her intriguing mind.

Bella barely said more than three words at a time to me the whole trip home and it annoyed me to no end. As for Alice, she said absolutely nothing, verbally or mentally, which only proved that she knew something important and she didn't feel like sharing.

I seriously hope that this strange behavior would subside once we were back in Forks and back to our normal, boring lives. Maybe, it was a combination of all the stress, anxiety, fear, impatience, drama, horror, and the almost tragedy of the last couple of days that caused these unusual mannerisms in my sister and girlfriend. Maybe if I just gave them time to calm down, they would return to their usual selves.

Fifteen hours later, I was standing with Bella in front of the SeaTac airport waiting for Alice to arrive with the Volvo. I held Bella firmly in my arms and pressed her snugly against my chest, I couldn't tell you how many times I kissed the crown of her head as we stood silently outside the airport.

A familiar black Mercedes appeared in the roundabout right before my Volvo did. Esme flew from out of the car door and launched herself at me, wrapping her arms securely around my neck, sobbing.

'_Oh thank god! I'm so glad everything is alright now,'_ she was hugging me so tight that if I were human I would be a pile of dust. I smoothed my hand over her hair to calm her.

'_Sorry, I called her to say we were leaving Italy,'_ I glared over at Alice.

In a blink of an eye, she released me and sprang at Bella, startling her a little. _'I'm so glad you got to him in time and you're safe as well. Everything worked out.'_

I cringed slightly. I wouldn't say everything worked out. Bella's scheduled to die in only a year – maybe I could postpone the inevitable. Time was different for the Volturi, maybe they would forget, she could remain a human for years by the time the Volturi remembered.

I smiled and glanced happily over to Bella hugging my mother and she was glaring back at me with narrowed eyes. My smile immediately turned upside down at her angry expression. Had she known what I was thinking about a moment ago…or was I that predictable?

'_You're that predictable dear brother,'_ my gnome of a sister winked at me from the side of the Volvo then slowly walked toward us. Alice's eyes went blank and she suddenly had a vision of Bella falling down next to Esme.

I turned my head around just in time to see Bella collapse in to Esme's arms, her eyes widened and panic etched across her face as she attempted to holler at Carlisle. I was by her side instantly, taking Bella into my waiting arms and I cradled her against my chest as I walked over to my car. I gently placed her in the passenger seat and made sure the seatbelt was secure.

'_Edward, what's wrong, what happened?'_ Carlisle asked as he sprinted over to me and looked down at Bella.

"She alright, she just fell asleep. Apparently, she's been awake for three days. She refused to sleep till we were back. I guess it caught up to her," Esme's hands shot to her mouth when I gave them the reason for Bella's behavior.

'_Well, no wonder she collapsed!'_ Esme shook her head in understanding. "Get her home and in to bed Edward," she winked then headed back to the Mercedes, tugging Carlisle behind her by the hand.

'_I'll ride with Esme and Carlisle, you get her home now,'_ Alice pranced over to the black car and climbed in, the car pulled away shortly after, leaving me with the Volvo and a sleeping Bella.

It only took me just over an hour to reach Forks and the white house belonging to the police chief. I carefully and gently lifted Bella from the car and strolled toward the house. Before I could tap my foot on the door, it swung open, revealing a stunned and worried Charlie before me.

'_What the hell…'_

"It's okay, she's just sleeping," Charlie sighed heavily then tried to take Bella from my arms but the hold I didn't know she had, tightened infinitesimally on my shirt. Her knuckles went white and I shrugged my shoulders. "I'll just put her to bed if that's alright with you?"

Charlie nodded and stepped to the side to allow me in. I took Bella upstairs and laid her down on the bed. I removed her shoes then pulled her blankets up around her shoulders. I backed away silently, wanting her to catch up on the sleep she had missed.

As soon as my back was turned, I felt a tug on my shirt from behind. I stopped and looked behind me to see Bella had a tight hold on my shirt.

"Stay."

That one word was all it took and I immediately removed my shoes and climbed onto the bed beside her, wrapping my arms around her waist. Bella didn't turn and place her back against my chest and she didn't do any wiggling into me as she used to do before my freak out. She faced me and wrapped her fingers tightly into my shirt.

I heard Charlie knock quietly before he opened the door to check on us. His eyes widened as he stared at the bed, the fact that I was lying down next to his daughter wasn't missed, and he arched an eyebrow.

"She won't let go," I pointed to her white knuckles on my shirt.

Charlie sighed then his eyes narrowed at me. _'You can stay but keep your hands to yourself.'_

"Yes sir!" he nodded then closed the door silently behind him. I was allowed to stay the night, I wasn't about to jeopardize that even if Bella wasn't giving me the proverbial cold shoulder. When she started mumbling in her sleep, I held my breath and listened intently.

"Nn…Edward…don't go…please…I won't do it again…I'll never…please…"

What won't she do again? Tears started to trail down her cheeks freely, my chest constricted tightly at witnessing them, and I attempted to wipe them away with my fingers. She was crying in her sleep, most likely because of me. Bella shouldn't ever be crying and suspecting it was because of me only made it worse.

I have to fix this!

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**_Chapter End Note:_**

Any ideas as to what is wrong with Bella? What will Edward do to fix it?


	21. Breakable

**I am sooooo very sorry I missed my normal update last Friday. We've been remodeling and rearranging our house so it has been time consuming, barely got 200 words down in an entire day. Now that things are nearly complete, I'm hoping to get back on track with my weekly updates, cross your fingers.**

WOW, nearly everyone guessed right about what was wrong with Bella. Thinks its going to end soon or continue to occur?**  
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**Chapter 21: Breakable**

I had no clue what time it was but it was remarkably dark in my room. My hands were extremely stiff and incredibly sore when I tried to move and flex my fingers. It appeared that I was clenching something in a death grip and I didn't want to let it go. The only thing I could think of that I was _that_ possessive over had left me and he only existed in my dreams anymore.

Last night's dream, no, last night's nightmare was a repeat of that fateful night when I put myself out there and offered my body to the man I love. He already had my heart and soul so why not complete the package.

That night had been like a video, stuck on repeat with no stop button and it was sheer torture. No matter how much or how desperately I pleaded or apologized, he still left me sitting alone on his bedroom floor, nearly naked.

I tried to wrap my arms around myself as I felt a small gnawing feeling on a corner of my heart. I squeezed my eyes together as tightly as I could and willed the pain to subside.

Something cold touched my forehead then my cheek. My dreams of Edward had started out like this, sweet and innocent then turned lustful and wanton. Now that I had had my nightmare, was I going to experience a blissful dream about Edward next?

The chilly touching, I assumed was my dream Edward's lips, continued over my face, my exposed ear, my neck, my fingers. I moaned softly when I felt his lips on the corner of my mouth and it felt like he smiled. I moaned loudly when his lips fully covered mine.

'_Morning my beautiful Bell,'_ I hesitated, my dream Edward had never spoken to me through kissing before, why the sudden change. _'Bella, you okay?'_

The stone cold lips that pressed firmly to my soft, warm ones intensified, begging for more and offering just as much as the lust and urgency increased exponentially. This definitely wasn't like my other dreams with Edward. Yes, we had kissed, he had gone down on me repeatedly and I had even given him a blowjob – once, but the intensity was different, very different.

There was a feeling of yearning, hunger and terror. What did my dream Edward have to fear? I was the one that was fearful. Every night, since Edward had abandoned me, it was the same damn thing, first a nightmare of him leaving, and then followed by a dream filled with passion.

'_Stop thinking about the kissing so much and enjoy it,'_ Edward scolded me comically.

The unusual words that rang through my head from dream Edward startled me. I drew away from the kiss and gazed intently into his obsidian eyes. The face gazing back at me was confused and annoyed and his lips were still in mid pucker.

"Not funny, why did you pull away?" Edward held my face in his hands and tried to pull me closer to restart the kiss but I turned my face away and he only succeeded in kissing my cheek. "Bella?"

I glanced at him and cringed from the hurt that was evident in his eyes. I shrugged faintly and closed my eyes tightly for a minute while I thought over my choice of words. "How do I know if you're the real Edward or the Edward created in my dreams?"

He looked at me blankly then forcefully pulled my face toward his and planted his lips on mine. _'Does your DreamWard ever kiss you?'_

Yes.

I heard a low growl vibrating through his body that transferred to me. His hands started to tickle their way around my shoulders, ribs, waist, and then suddenly they reached around and squeezed my ass.

'_Does your DreamWard do this?' _I nodded slightly then heard and felt another growl, only this time it was louder than the last one.

When Edward's cold fingers wrapped around my wrist and he shoved me to the mattress, positioning himself above me and between my legs. All that lay between us were my jeans and a comforter, it rendered me speechless for a brief moment.

"Has your DreamWard ever done this?" he asked just before he trailed kiss after kiss along my neck, causing me to moan loudly.

"Necking yes…forcing me to…the mattress…no," I stuttered out between pants and moans. The kisses continued up my neck, to my ear, around to my cheeks and finally, back to my lips, where he kissed me thoroughly.

'_Trust me Bella, I'm not your DreamWard, I'm the real deal,'_ one of his hands left my wrist and traced over my ribs then brushed upward toward my breast, instinctively I stiffened.

Too much! I need a human moment, please.

I heard yet another growl and Edward reluctantly rolled off me, allowing me to climb from the bed. He watched me like a hawk as I shuffled around my room gathering a set of clothes to change into after my much-needed shower.

"What do you mean by _too much_?" Edward asked with narrowed eyes and his lips pulled down into a grim line. He moved to the edge of the bed and held his own hands tightly, if his hands had anything in them, it would be dust.

"I just mean that, um, I, my bladder is too full, it has too much in it," Edward's eyes remained narrow slits – it was obvious he didn't believe me. I glanced at the window for no reason and noticed it was still dark out, I then glanced at my clock and it only said it was nine o' clock. I only slept for two hours, that can't be right. I looked to Edward questioningly. "How long was I asleep?"

"About fourteen hours. Your body needed the sleep so I didn't bother you, despite how much I wanted to," he shrugged his shoulders nonchalantly but the tone in his voice betrayed his irritation. Just to appease him and make him feel a little better, I pecked him on the cheek then sprinted into the bathroom.

I vaguely heard my dad's thoughts while he slept something about fishing and some stubborn boy. That boy I assumed was Edward.

After relieving myself, I started the shower and set it for as hot as I could handle it. I stepped in and lets the nearly scolding water wash over my head and skin. I was hoping the relaxation of the shower mixed with a little time away from Edward would help to solidify my resolve.

When Edward eventually returned, never had I expected this kind of change in him. He was like a completely different person, well vampire and I didn't know what to do with this new development. It was as if at any chance he got, he would touch me in one way or another and most of the time it was intimate. Moreover, his kisses, damn, his kisses were so much more…I don't know – passionate, hungry, eager, zealous.

Through my mental fog I somehow managed to wash and condition my hair, considering how occupied my brain was right at the moment – it was a miracle I even remembered in the first place. My mind had been fuddled ever since Edward had first grabbed my ass in Italy then tried to place me on his lap while there also. Considering the terms we parted on, this new attitude was very disconcerting.

I lifted my head and let the water beat down on my face for a bit, hoping it would wash away my worries and concerns of what was to come. Edward was making it extremely difficult on me to stick with my plan. I know many wouldn't agree with what I was doing but who out there can honestly say they're dating a vampire, no one! How many people out there have been in the circumstances of their boyfriend rejecting sex to the point of _him_ leaving? No one that I know of.

The night Edward abandoned me and the numerous weeks that followed were the longest and hardest of my life. I would _**never**_ wish that pain on any one, not even my worst enemy. I will go to any lengths, under any means, to avoid that kind of pain again – even if it means I'll surfer a bit, it will be worth it in the long run. I don't ever want to lose Edward again and I'll do anything to avoid him leaving.

The water started to chill and I speedily turned it off then stepped out of the shower. I wrapped a warm towel around my chest then turned to the medicine cabinet and stared long and hard into the mirror. I looked like I had aged ten years, I felt like it also. The bags under my eyes weren't so prominent after my fourteen-hour slumber. My deep brown eyes had a little more color and life to them. Even if my complexion and features had improved since Edward's return, I was still far from being back to normal and far from attractive.

A heavy sigh escaped me as I gazed at my plain face. To this day, I still didn't see what Edward saw in me, especially right now. I pushed that thought from my mind and toughened myself. Despite how he was acting, despite what feelings he stirred within me, despite how I ached to throw myself at him and lavish kiss after kiss upon his body…I WILL NOT. No matter how much my body begged me, my heart was still too weak to endure that torture again, the torturous hell I had caused.

I stood up straight and righted my shoulders, I had a plan and I was going to stick with it. Maybe after I was changed, made less breakable, Edward would change his mind. If not, I would have eternity to convince him otherwise. Now that my mood had improved due to my inner pep talk, I quickly dried off the remaining shower water and slipped into a pair of jeans and a large baggy hunter green sweater. I tied my still damp hair into a high ponytail and opened the bathroom door.

Upon entering my room, I froze solid when I didn't see Edward where I had left him. Maybe he decided to go hunting or he got a call and had to leave suddenly? I started to feel terror rise in my chest and I attempted to squash it down, I could not fall apart after only having him back after only twenty-four hours – that would only show how fragile I currently felt.

I nearly hit the ceiling when a pair of hands grabbed onto my hips and pulled me backwards. The cold lips that I had grown used to grazed my neck then started tugging with his lips, eliciting more moans and shivers of pleasure from me. My insides started to burn and my heartbeat increased when his fingers danced incredibly close to the underside of my breasts and his thumbs ghosted over the top of my nipples. It was too much for me to handle.

Upon feeling the scorching heat at the juncture of my thighs and the tightening ache in my stomach, I quickly spun around. I gently placed my palm on his chest and looked up at him sweetly and apologetically.

"I need breakfast…er dinner actually," I ran from my room at the same time Edward growled loudly and lunged for me. I strolled down the stairs with a smile playing at the corner of my mouth and into the kitchen more gracefully then I had expected. My agility episodes were really starting to bug me – born awful, and then improved, then back to terrible and now better again, let's hope it doesn't get bad again.

It was shortly after midnight now and my stomach was telling me it had been awhile since my last meal. I hastily wandered over to the fridge and quickly located the leftover pizza my dad ordered while I was away. I snagged a couple slices, leaned against the counter and started eating them, cold. Edward watched me fixedly from the entryway, with a look saying that he wanted to say something but held it back for some reason.

As I chewed the remaining bites of the pizza crust I locked my eyes onto Edward's depthless onyx ones. Afraid of what he might do, I spun around and looked out the kitchen window. I watched transfixed as his reflection in the window very leisurely sauntered up to me. He leaned over and pressed a hand to the counter on either side of my hips then bent his head forward and took a deep breath from the base of my neck. His proximity to me nearly caused me to forget to swallow what was in my mouth.

A cold, wetness touched my neck and traveled up toward my ear. I couldn't hold back the reaction of my body stiffening upon feeling Edward's tongue licking up my neck. "You taste as delicious as you smell. I wonder if the rest of your body is just as mouthwatering, I can't wait to find out."

What the hell does that mean? He wanted to know if the rest of my body tasted just as good! What was he playing at? Maybe he was referring to _after _I was changed. That had to be it, after I was changed is when he was planning to _taste_ me.

"You're really going to have to stop doing that," Edward breathed next to my ear.

"Doing what?" I mumbled quickly before I lost my breath completely.

Edward flipped me around to face him. Using his lower torso, he pressed my lower back against the counter then leaned his face very close to mine, so close I could feel his breath on my cheek. If I could hear my own heart pounding in my ears, I was positive that the super hearing of the vampire in front of me heard it loud and clear.

"Stiffening, it's as if my touch repulses you," I winced at the hurt his words carried. There were many ways to perceive my actions to Edward's show of affection and I was afraid that the result would be taken badly.

I stood on my tiptoes and quickly wrapped my arms around his neck, pulling my body flush and securely against his. I fisted my fingers into his hair in an effort to get him even closer. His arms embraced me in return and held me tightly, but I could tell he was holding back to avoid any physical injury to me.

"Nothing about you has ever repulsed me. It's just, that…I…um…I…Oh my god, what about work?" My hands flew to my mouth in a panic and I stared wide eyed at Edward. I had left so suddenly for Italy that I didn't have the time to contact anyone, and Dr. Kurt was expecting me back on Monday – which I think was yesterday.

Edward grabbed my face between his hands and begged me with his ebony eyes to calm down. "Everything is alright. Alice called the clinic first thing yesterday morning and informed them you came down sick from the climate change between Florida and Washington. You got another couple of days off. He said he'll see you on Thursday."

"She did?" my voice was a little bewildered. The moment Esme held me in her snug maternal embrace, everything floated away. The many days of stress and unknowing and no sleep finally crashed down on me and I had collapsed in Esme's arms, forgetting everything. I was relieved that Alice had remembered about my job, because I hadn't. Thank god for the seer.

Edward nodded slightly at my question and smiled crookedly down at me. "She did, so there is nothing to worry about," he gave my nose a cute little kiss then kissed each cheek before turning his head minutely and devouring my lips hungrily.

His lips were relentless and his hands pulled my face closer to his. _'I have no idea how I stayed away for so long, I must have been really out of my mind. From this day forward, I vow, I'll never leave you again. I promise nothing will ever spook me again.'_

We need to talk.

Edward pulled back and stared at me, an expression of anger, worry, and humor written on his face. "You had to use those four words didn't you, now I'm spooked."

I shrugged one shoulder dismissively. "I know that Victoria is back and is looking for me," I felt Edward stiffen against me at hearing my words. "So what are we going to do about her?"

"We kill her, simple as that," he started to lean in again to press his lips down on mine, obviously to distract me but I swiftly halted him by placing my fingers over his seeking mouth. His eyes narrowed in a glare at me for stopping his pursuit and I bit my lower lip to stifle the laughter I was feeling.

"There is one more thing I want to talk about tonight," Edward sighed then nodded his head, gesturing for me to continue. "After graduation, I want you to be the one to change me." Edward turned into the marble statue he always claimed to be. He didn't move, didn't blink, didn't breathe, didn't anything.

"Bella, I-" I cut him off by pressing my hand fully over his mouth.

"I know you don't want me changed at all but the higher ups have ordered it. It's either that or death, which would you prefer?" I removed my hand from his mouth, crossed both arms over my chest, and glared at him stubbornly.

"Bella, there is no rush. Graduation for us may only be a year away but to the Volturi they won't bother to check for probably fifty years or more. Time is different for immortals," he ran his thumbs over my cheeks and smiled lazily at me.

Even after the Volturi ordered him to make me a vampire, he still refused and or procrastinated. This had gone far enough. I wasn't going to wait around for him to change his mind. I know what I want and apparently, I wasn't going to get any help from him in achieving it.

I pressed my palms against his chest and shoved him backwards, much to my surprise, he moved back. I walked over to the knick-knack drawer and pulled out a pen and a piece of paper. I hastily jotted down a note for Charlie and placed it on the kitchen table. I then went and retrieved my coat and headed for the front door.

"Wait, what are you doing?" Edward followed me out of the house.

"I'm going to go talk to the rest of your family, get their opinion on postponing everyone's deaths," I snapped at him as I continued to walk down the street. I heard him gasp then a few minutes later he pulled up alongside me in his Volvo.

"Get in, we'll get there faster if we drive," I glared briefly then climbed into the passenger seat of the car. Edward mumbled something I couldn't hear and he didn't look very happy at all.

At this moment in time, I could care less what he thought since my head and my heart were at war again. Did he not want to spend eternity with me or was it he didn't want to be the one that _killed_ me? I guess soon, I would find out the answers to those questions and many more that lingered in my head and heart.

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_**Chapter End Notes:**_

Did anyone catch the quote from a popular movie? Here's a hint: main star is Tom Cruise. I loved that line from the movie.


	22. The Other Love in Bella's Life

Twilight is not mine but Full Moon and its twists are.

Sorry, language went up a bit.

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**Chapter 22: The Other Love in Bella's Life**

To say I was stunned was an understatement. I was flabbergasted when I watched Bella storm out of the house and started walking down the street. It was after midnight for god sakes. I gasped loudly at hearing she was heading for my house to converse with the others about what had happened in Italy and probably discuss the verdict placed on her life.

I rushed back to the Volvo and quickly had it running then pulled it alongside Bella as she walked furiously down the darkened road. I pleaded with her to get in, that we would get there faster if we drove. Begrudgingly, she climbed inside and the remainder of the drive was eerily silent – all I could hear was the hum of the car, Bella's heartbeat and her breathing.

Even when we arrived to the house, she remained silent, not a single word was said – I was really getting scared. I knew that she was angry with me but when Bella hopped out of the car and headed for the door the instant we were in front of the house, that action made me terrified.

She hadn't even allowed me to open the door for her and that small gesture made my insides fall to my feet. I watched from my side of the car as she burst through the front door, I shut my door and strolled incredibly slowly toward the house.

I heard Bella's voice from the other side of the door. "We need to have a serious discussion later but first I believe someone needs yelled at," I cringed.

"Trust us, we will later. You shouldn't be a witness to his punishment," I halted mid step and gazed at the door, dumbfounded. Such comment I would expect from Emmett but not my own mother. "Plus Carlisle isn't back from work yet. He had to work the graveyard shift for a doctor that came down ill."

'_Eddie, hurry your ass up!' _Wonder if I would get into much trouble if I ripped off a limb or two.

'_Edward! You know both Esme and Rosalie would pummel you if you even tried,'_ stupid psychic pixie. I growled quietly as I slowly ascended the four measly steps that led to the love of my life and my eternal family.

The sound of laughter warmed my cold heart but the echo of squealing confused me, it was a happy laughing squeal as if someone was being tickled. Curiosity got the better of me and I inched my way in through the front door, the scene before me was staggering.

Alice, Rose, Emmett and Jasper were sitting in a circle but Bella was on her back near them, getting a bath from the grayish puffball. Bella was laughing hysterically while the pup licked at her face, neck and hands, the puppy's tail was beating so fast I expected it to take flight.

The puppy, I learned was called Brontë left Bella to sit up and pounced over to Alice then ran a circle around Rosalie. Then she jumped on Emmett's lap only to immediately jump off again and did several circles around Jasper before she lunged at Bella again, licking her cheeks and nose in excitement.

"I guess someone is excited to see you," laughed Rosalie as Brontë pranced over to her, quickly licked her hand then returned to Bella's lap.

"I would say that that was a fair assumption," Emmett stated as he attempted to grab Brontë and she turned her head around and nipped at his hand, causing everyone to burst out laughing.

In a matter of seconds, everything changes. Laughing ceases the moment Brontë jumps and is standing defensively in front of Bella and she's growling aggressively in my direction.

'_Oh shit…she doesn't like Edward,'_ Jasper thought with a grimace.

Bella darted her large brown eyes to Jasper then to the growling puppy beside her. Her eyes slowly traveled to mine and I could see the apology beaming from them. It was obvious that Bella had not expected this sort of welcoming from her pet in regards to her boyfriend. Considering how the small canine had reacted the first night Bella had her, I saw this coming.

I slowly stepped from the doorway and was greeted by a set of strong arms wrapping around me, my mother's.

'_Thank goodness they got to you in time. I was so worried we would lose a son and two daughters,'_ I hugged Esme to me, reassuring her that I was in fact here.

Even if my family was happy to see me, safe, sound and at home, and one that obviously wasn't happy about the situation. That one, was currently wrapped up in Bella's arms, still growling, watching me, and waiting to see what I'll do next.

Brontë's golden eyes followed me everywhere I went, every movement of my arms, every turn of my head, every breath I inhaled…she didn't miss it. Even when I tried to approach Bella, to give her a kiss or place my arms around her, Brontë was right there to supervise. Whenever her growling would get too loud or rambunctious, Bella would scold her and Brontë would lie down at Bella's feet, an eye still on me. Bella did the exact same thing to me if I growled too loudly at Brontë as well, it was a two way street sometimes.

After nearly three hours of having to deal with Brontë's constant glare, I was starting to go insane. I had barely even held Bella's hand for more than two minutes before Brontë interrupted. Later, while Bella was in the kitchen getting something to drink, I had resorted to glaring and growling back at the young canine in front of me.

'_Edward, please tell me you are not having a staring contest with a dog,' _Rosalie asked as she came in from the garage. I grumbled a few profanities under my breath and continued to glare at Brontë.

"Edward, leave Brontë alone," Bella's whimsical voice ordered from the kitchen. I stared at the wall in Bella's general direction, shocked. Did she just choose the dog over me?

"She started it!" the room erupted into hilarity at my reply. Jasper and Emmett were laughing so hard that they had to hold each other up right.

Bella leaned her head around the kitchen wall and stared at me with a raised eyebrow. "Edward Anthony Cullen, did you just blame a staring contest on a dog, a puppy no less."

I immediately felt shame upon hearing the absurdity of what was happening phrased in to words. It was sad to begin with but having my own girlfriend to be the one to pose the question made it even worse. I turned my head away from her and I heard her go back into the kitchen.

A quiet, throaty chuckle came from the floor and I glanced down to see Brontë with her head laid down on her paws, a small curl on her muzzle. Was that dog actually smiling because Bella scolded me? Bella's dog was against me!

I growled in annoyance as I got to my feet and stalked toward the stairs. I was not about to sit and deal with a manipulative mutt if I didn't have to.

"That dog really doesn't like you," Jasper whispered at a vampiric level to avoid both of Bella's hearings.

"Tell me something I don't already know," I told him at the same volume so I also avoided Bella's ears and then I continued up the stairs toward my room. If Bella wanted me, she would have to come to me – maybe we could have some private time in here, without her little shadow.

I walked into my room and was immediate assaulted by Bella's pungent aroma. Compared to the rest of the house where her scent spread throughout the rooms, in here it's concentrated, thick and alluring. I breathed in deeply, enjoying the tingle her scent caused in my entire body. Oh what I wouldn't give to sample her aroused smell again – my entire music collection for starters.

The sound of Bella laughing echoed through the house and leaked into my room. I loved the sound of her laugh, even more so when it was because of something I did or said. Right now, that was not the case. I could hear what was going on downstairs thank to my superior hearing and I almost wished I had witnessed it, almost.

Apparently, Emmett had attempted to take Brontë's bone from her and she had snapped at his hand. When Alice tried a minute later, Brontë didn't do a thing but tilted her head to the side questioningly. Emmett tried again and succeeded, for all of fifteen seconds before Brontë rounded on Emmett and bit him in the butt. That must have been a funny sight.

What is it about this dog that has my family so gaga over it? I rolled my eyes and let out an annoyed sigh when realization dawned on me. Wasn't my family gaga over Bella as well?

'_Edward, stop being antisocial and come down here and join the family,'_ if Esme made a request, there was no way I was going to ignore it. She had already kicked me out of the house once – I doubt she would hesitate to do it again.

I made my way back down stairs, grumbling unhappily the entire way. Once I reached the main floor, I noticed all of my siblings sat on the floor, playing keep-away from Brontë while Bella sat on the couch sipping her tea and talking with Esme.

While Brontë was distracted, I made my way swiftly to Bella and planted a "chaste" kiss on her lips.

'_Edward! At least say excuse me,'_ Esme disciplined.

'_Remember, she has to breathe Eddie.'_

The long awaited kiss was rudely interrupted by a sudden grinding sound and a faint tickle at my ankle. I looked down to see the gray puffball attached to my leg. I was stunned that Bella's dog had actually attacked me and all I could do was look down at her, shocked.

"Brontë!" Bella shouted in disbelief as well and quickly tried to extricate her dog's teeth from my ankle. I gently stopped Bella's hand from reaching for her pet, latched my fingers around the scruff of the neck of the pup, and lifted it up.

Bella whimpered softly as I held the snarling puppy up at eye level. "I think it's time you and I had a talk," I winked and smiled at Bella then headed out the back door with the pup in hand.

'_Keep in mind Brontë is only protecting her master. She understands that it was __**you**__ that hurt Bella,'_ oh great, Jasper the Dog Whisperer.

I stopped a few feet shy of the river that ran behind the house and placed Brontë gently on her feet. In an instant, she reacted by locking her jaw down on my arm, it didn't hurt in the slightest but it was rather annoying. I sat down on the grass and sighed in irritation.

"Look Brontë, I know you hate me for hurting Bella but we both love her right?" her ear twitched but her teeth never loosened. "I also know you are just looking out for Bella and I commend that. Please rest easy knowing that I will never ever abandon her again. I was only away from her for about two months and in that time I learned what true agony was. I would quite literally go insane without her.

"She is what grounds me to this earth. I was totally off axis before I met Bella and now I can function properly for the first time in nearly a century. I know now that I should have stayed and talked with Bella instead of running away but I panicked. I honestly can't tell you how I managed to stay away for so long or for what reason either. All I can honestly say is that leaving her again would kill me, I can't leave Bella ever again," Brontë's teeth relaxed to some extent and I stared down at the small puffball. I met her golden eyes with mine and tried to convey the seriousness of my words.

"I promise, I will never wander away from Bella's side again and if I do, you have my permission to attack me at every chance you get." I sat in silence for several minutes and waited, trying to think up some other words to convince the protective pup. "I don't know if you can even understand what I'm saying but I hope you can. I love Bella and I never want to hurt her again, not after the damage that we went through. I will do anything for Bella that she asks of me, within my power of course," Brontë finally retracted her teeth and mouth from my arm but kept her guarded golden eyes on me, daring me to continue.

"I will love Bella for every moment of eternity and if it takes just as long for her to forgive me for running out on her, so be it," I flinched when it sounded like the pup scoffed at me before she ran back to the house. I remained sitting on the grass for a little bit, twirling my hand one way than the other, watching the sun bouncing light fragments in every direction.

In all honesty, I seriously hope Bella doesn't hold a grudge for all eternity because by a few years in I would be running out of ideas to gain her forgiveness. I was actually startled when a warm hand pressed down slightly on top of my head and warm fingers tangled into my hair. The most glorious scent I have ever had the honor of inhaling assaulted my senses and sent me to heaven with a pair of white wings.

Without any warning to the angel standing over me, I reached up and took her by the wrist then pulled her down to sit in my lap. She squealed quietly at her sudden and unexplained swirling then landing. She smiled up from her half-sitting, half-laying position on my lap and I smiled crookedly back down at her.

"What you said to Brontë was beautiful. As for forgiving you for leaving me half-naked in your bedroom, I forgave you a while ago. I'm still mad at the attempted suicide fiasco to Italy." My mind traveled in several directions all at once. Her seducing me in that white and black negligee, my trip to Italy because I thought she was dead, and my wishful thinking that I would get a repeat of her seducing me again. The way her body and hips swayed as she was climbing into bed, the delicious scent of her arousal, her petite and arm hands roaming over my body, her soft and luscious lips devouring mine, everything about her made me ravenous for her.

"Hello, earth to Edward," the sound of fingers snapping in front of my face shook me from my fantasizing. Bella looked worried, since I hadn't said anything in response to her words.

"Sorry, I was…daydreaming," her eyes narrowed and I leaned in and claimed her lips as mine. I was daydreaming about you.

'_Why would you daydream about me while I am currently sitting in your lap and totally accessible?'_

She had me there. Why would I dream about touching and kissing her when I could do it in real life? Who knows?

'_Well at least you're kissing me now.'_

I smiled against her mouth before bearing down on her more, pushing all my feelings into the kiss. Wait, she said she was accessible now. Does that mean she'll stop slamming on the breaks? My hands traveled around to her back and I pulled her more firmly to my rock hard body.

'_Yoo-hoo, Carlisle will be here in about ten minutes,'_ Alice sang from the house.

Bella pulled back and I was reluctant to let her go. "Come on, even if you're not the precognitive one, you should have at least seen this coming. You had to of known that I would find some way or another to deal with the transformation. I want to be like you, to be with you for all eternity."

Every word she said made my insides tighten. Just because she wanted to be with me forever and she would have to become a vampire in order to accomplish it doesn't mean I had to like it – the forever part yes, the changing part no.

Bella got to her feet and offered her good hand out to me. Did she seriously think she could help me to my feet? I figured I could humor her this one time I reached out and grasped her dainty hand. Instead of standing up though, I pulled her down and slammed her mouth back on to mine. Just so you know, I'm not through with you yet.

'_I would hope not,'_ she ended the kiss then turned and headed for the house, leaving me to mope on the ground.

A moan escaped me as I watched her walk away, her hips swaying ever so slightly and innocently. She had me wrapped around her little finger and she didn't even know it. As I sat watching her walk away, drooling, it occurred to me that maybe she did know it.

I jumped to my feet and dashed over to the love of my life, wrapped my arms around her waist and kissed up and down her neck. A rather loud growling came from the house and I glanced up to see Brontë watching us from the other side of the large floor to ceiling window.

"She's not going to make this very easy for me is she?" I asked before slowly tugging her ear lobe into my mouth.

"No she isn't and I don't blame her," Bella shrugged out of my arms and escaped inside the house. "Well we have some talking to do in a minute so you might as well come inside."

If she ever lightened up I planned to do just that, cum inside – over and over and over, did I mention over again. I stepped through the back doors just as Carlisle was entering through the garage. The rest of the family gathered in the room quickly and I soon started feeling nervous.

He gave me a very unsympathetic and severe look. _'You brought this on yourself.' _He walked over to the dining table, placed his white coat and black bag down, and glanced over at Bella who was petting Brontë sweetly. "So what do we have to discuss this gorgeous morning?"

Brought this on myself, what did I do?

"I'm sure Alice has already told you what Aro had to say about me while we were in Italy," everyone nodded unison. "And what their verdict regarding my fate is right?" they nodded again. "Edward wants to postpone my change for several more years. What do you all have to say, do you agree?"

All eyes shot to me and I instantly felt two inches tall. Had I just been made out to be the bad guy in all this? This was not going to be pretty and from what I've grasped from my families thoughts over the last several months – this was a losing battle.

Well shit!

* * *

_**Chapter End Notes:**_

So, how was Edward's introduction to Bronte? Is it just me or does she seem a bit more human then most dogs or is she just protective over Bella?

Next chapter is the **big** family talk, aka: the vote. Any guesses on what the vote results will be?_**  
**_

Just a warning, there are only 2 more chapters and an epilogue after this, but I do have book 3 to write so keep an eye out. Book 3 - _**Dark Sun**_.


	23. Outnumbered

Twilight is not mine unfortunatly.

Slight tissue warning, probably won't need it but just in case.

* * *

**Chapter 23: Outnumbered**

"You want to put off her changing. What good will that do for any of us?" Rosalie stunned us all by her sudden outburst. I expected that from Alice or maybe Emmett, but Rosalie was the last person I expected to get a reaction. It's not as if we hated each other but we didn't do each other's hair either. We called one another friends but that was it.

"Rose is right, what good is it to put off her becoming one of us? She was already ordered to be changed after high school, we all know she wants this, so why drag it out?" Emmett stepped forward, lifted me from the floor, and cradled me in his arms like a baby. _'What is it you're so afraid of Eddie?' _

Everyone in the room heard the growl that erupted from Edward and those without the gift of mindreading arched their eyebrows in curiosity. Was Emmett right; was there something Edward was scared of?

"Are we really having this discussion, seriously?" Esme asked incredulously, dumbfounded that we were having this argument.

"Unfortunately yes we are," I sighed sadly and Emmett placed me back on my feet. I hugged my arms around myself, the despair over the fact that Edward might not want me forever seeping in through my pores. For Jasper's sake, I tried to squash my feeling of hopelessness. "Aro has declared that I be changed after graduation, giving me time to get my affairs in order, to say goodbye and think of a cover story. I think it's very generous of him considering he could have easily killed me while I was there."

I flinched upon hearing Edward's loud snarl. What was so terrible about your girlfriend wanting to sacrifice everything in order to be with you? I've _heard_ several guys that would love their girlfriend to give up even half of what I was forfeiting. Were my hopes and dreams so wrong?

'_It's so good to have you back, I'm glad Aro thought the situation was humorous but…,' _I smirked at my father, only one of his friends would find the humor in a serious event. Carlisle must have noticed my anguish because he walked over behind me and placed his hands on my shoulders. "If the Volturi has ordered her transformation at a certain time then you can't go against it so it suits your liking," I gazed up to see Carlisle face betraying the anger that his voice didn't. _'What is wrong with you? You know the Volturi would kill Bella then most likely us, just on principle and you've known Bella's feelings regarding this.'_

Edward grinded his teeth together and glared at the floor evilly like it was the one about to end my life. All of a sudden, Edward's eyes filled with sheer panic as they darted to Alice who looked apologetic.

'_Sorry Edward, that's how I see it.'_ Damn this restriction on my gift, what the hell did she see?

"This is so stupid. This conversation is totally uncalled for. They'll die without each other. Unless Edward can become human there is only one other way to rectify the problem," Jasper snapped loudly, surprising us all. _'Just change her, you pansy ass, yellow-bellied coward.'_

I bit my lip hard at Jasper's words and the deep Texan accent. The words were funny to hear but the accent made them alluring. Know I understand what Alice meant by his drawl being tempting, it did sound rather nice.

Emmett and Rose glanced at me when a small chuckled left my throat. "Jasper just called Edward a pansy ass, yellow-bellied coward because he wouldn't change me."

"I second that one Jazz," Emmett nodded at him in agreement.

"How about we put it to a vote now?" chimed Alice from her relaxed position against Jasper's chest. I felt a sudden pang of jealousy, here I was standing by myself and Edward was on the other side of the room, avoiding all forms of contact with me.

'_Bella!'_ Jasper hissed quietly and I cringed at the realization that he was picking up all my feelings.

Edward's eyes shot to me for a second then darted away all too quickly. Did he not get it, I had to become a vampire no matter what he thought was right or wrong but I had hoped he would be a little more willing.

"Yes, definitely yes," sang Alice as she tightened her arms around Jasper's arms that were around her waist. _'You're already my sister in my eyes.'_

"Absolutely yes, I can't wait to take you on in a fight," Emmett tapped me on the shoulder a little too hard and I glared at him as I rubbed my now sore upper arm.

"I vote yes also. Alice can drag you to the mall instead of me," Jasper voiced eagerly. _'I'm waiting for that day.'_

"Yes, yes, yes," Esme practically bounced with each yes she said. _'A hundred times over, __**yes**__.'_

"I know you've thought about this a lot and you know what's at risk. Knowing what would happen to my brother if something bad were to happen to you, I have to say yes as well," stated Rosalie with a smile.

Carlisle was the last to give his vote, though with the current count, he would still be outnumbered but it was the yes or the no from each person I wanted to hear most of all. His hand remained on my shoulders and tightened vaguely as I looked up at him and waited. His eyes were trained on Edward intently, a hint of apology gleaming in his eyes.

"You should already know my answer without having to voice it. I will not lose a son because he thinks his mate should remain human and virtuous," I felt my eyes widen and my face heat up at the mention of me being virtuous, darn vampire doctors. _'__**YES!**__'_

The score was six to one in favor of me changing at the appointed time. Edward growled loudly in outrage as he spun around and demolished a dining room chair in his fury. I was giddy and disappointed at the same time. Giddy because everyone of the Cullen's wanted me to be a part of their family, disappointed because my own boyfriend and soulmate was so against it.

"Do you have a day in mind? I can change you myself, it wouldn't be a problem," Carlisle asked eagerly. _'We'll need to think up a way to convince everyone you're dead by then.'_

I averted my eyes from Carlisle as a pain I never realized before, reared its ugly head in my chest. I had always hoped that Edward would be the one to offer up his venom and transform me, not his father. I fought against the pain as I gazed back up into Carlisle's golden brown eyes, resigning to the fate, that it would be Carlisle's venom, not Edward's that burned through my veins. "June 18th, that way I can be awake for Edward's birthday. Forever can be my gift to him."

'_Oh, that's so sweet Bella, let me pick your dress,'_ I shot daggers at the pixie, implying she should shut up and she did. _'Oh get used to it already.'_

"So, morning of June 18th, that way she'll be awake for sure on the 20th. I'll start making plans and thinking of a way to keep the treaty with the Quileute's intact." Carlisle mumbled more to himself than me as he wandered into his study.

I chanced a glance at Edward and was just in time to witness his display of throwing the pieces of chair out the glass window, shattering it. Brontë yelp then ran into the other room, away from the angry vampire.

"You're going to pay for all that and get it fixed," Esme snapped aggressively before coming over and wrapping an arm around my shoulders. _'I'm glad you're going to be a member of the family soon.'_

Another thunderous and agonizing snarl echoed throughout the house as Edward jumped through the broken window and proceeded to kick the chair wreckage to Canada and Oregon. With each growl and each show of temper, my heart sank further and further to the floor. Despite what he had told me, his actions showed that he didn't want me forever as I had hoped.

I'd had enough. I turned abruptly and walked further inside the house, debating what my next move would be. Go home and leave Edward to stew over what just happened and hoped he changed his mind? Carry on like nothing had happened then go to Italy after graduation? Run to Alaska and ask Tanya and her family to take me in? If Edward were adamant about not changing me, I wouldn't force him. I would have to leave Forks, I wasn't going to be the cause of a family rift and I didn't want to bring the Volturi down on the Cullens for not turning me. No matter what the scenario may be, without Edward I was as good as dead anyway.

'_Bella, no…'_ Alice's internal voice dripped with sorrow and it broke my heart. She had to have known her brother would react like this and I would have to rethink my plans for after high school.

"Sorry Alice, I'll see you later. This _pet_ is going home for awhile," there were several gasps in the room but I ignored them as I picked Brontë up off the floor and headed for the door. A pair of strong hands on my shoulders halted me. I didn't turn around and I didn't move forward at all, I stood perfectly still and waited for some sort of dialog.

'_Bella, you can't go yet, you guys need to talk about this,'_ I felt the same fissure from a few weeks ago crack open. It wasn't Edward that had stopped me it was Emmett, and I could still hear Edward still ranting outside.

I tilted my head up toward the high ceiling in hope of stilling the tears that were stinging painfully at the edges of my eyes. Without turning to look at the one behind me or anyone else in the room, I whispered very quietly, afraid of how my voice would sound. "I can't stay here where my own soulmate is appalled at the mere mention of me joining him in eternity." There were several hisses this time and I let the tears flow freely as I opened the door and headed outside. I should make this easier on him and go to Italy by myself after graduation.

Right at the moment, I didn't want to use Edward's Volvo and have to smell him in it and cause the crack in my heart to expand. I placed Brontë back down on the ground and started to walk down the driveway toward the highway, Brontë trailing behind obediently.

"DON'T. YOU. DARE. LEAVE!" four roaring words froze me in place about five yards from the house. A furious bronze haired god of a man stood about twenty feet ahead of me on the road, his arms outstretched as if he was pretending to be an airplane.

Now that I was on my way home, he wanted to speak up, and say what; argue some more on when I turned or how. Maybe he wanted to tell me what kind of weather conditions he preferred on my fated day. Right, as if I was going to hang around a moment longer for Edward to criticize the decisions I made for my life and how I would reach it.

'_Oh shit, Edward, be careful!'_

Edward never heeded Alice's warnings so why would he start now, seriously. I ignored the glorious and angry vampire in front of me, held my head high and kept walking toward the highway. Edward moved to his left, blocking off my direct route so I veered to my left and Edward tilted to his right, cutting me off yet again. I glared at him in annoyance and he growled. I held my head even higher, straightened my back, and continued on my path down the driveway. Vampire or human, I would not be deterred.

The ongoing growl became furious, most likely at my stubbornness to lie down and listen to his inflexibility regarding _my_ life. "Would you stop being a child and stop already?"

I narrowed my eyes as I debated smacking him with my cast – maybe it was hard enough I wouldn't get hurt, either way – I exploded. "Are you seriously calling me a child? You're the one who wants his cake and to eat it too – you want me but you don't want to change me. You aren't willing to listen to reason or the wishes of those around you. Hell, I bet you're even unwilling to make some sort of compromise."

He visibly flinched at each of my statements. His posture was still furious and domineering – it almost seemed as if he was trying to scare me into submission. HA! After nearly seven months, has he not learned anything about me? I wasn't some wimpy girl who would sit on the sidelines with a dumb expression saying duh and obey every word out of her man's mouth. I stood up to the nomads, the Denali's and the Volturi. Did he honestly think I would cower at my own boyfriend – that was laughable?

"What type of compromise?" I did a double take at his question, said so quietly I almost missed hearing it at all. Was he actually entertaining the idea of a compromise to agreeing with my change happening next summer? Crap, he asked what type of compromise. What was I willing to offer in exchange for his compliance?

I cringed as a thought struck me, something he had wanted to do for a while now. "If you stop throwing tantrums about me turning…you can buy me a car."

A small smile danced over his face and he stalked toward me ever so slowly, shaking his head little by little.

"You can pay for my college?" another headshake and he stopped a few feet from me and his smile vanished. I fisted my hands tightly in irritation. "What then?"

His eyes bored into me, searching my soul for an answer I might not have. "I'm willing to change you myself on one condition…" I held my breath and waited for him to finish his stipulation and it was something to get him to change me himself, I felt giddy inside – but I would never tell him that. "Marry me."

I stared at him blankly, my mind running a mile a minute marathon.

Did he just ask me to marry him? Not that I had ever really considered marriage much before but it was popping into my head more frequently lately and this was not the way I imagined it. Hold the phone! The only way he would agree to my transformation was through marriage. He had just disheartened the meaning of marriage with a proviso. Despite my parents' tragic married life together, I didn't share their fears and ideas about the institution of holy matrimony.

Since I had found true love, which was pretty rare to begin with, I had started to have little lingering feeling in the back of my head and heart. The words 'Bella Cullen' paraded around quite often in my imaginations. Marriage is supposed to be a celebration of love and commitment to your one and only. Edward had completely ruined that by putting an ultimatum on it.

My heart was screaming yes repeatedly from behind my rib cage while the rest of my being was yelling no. For someone who lived for as long as Edward had, he should know of a better way to propose to a girl, even _I_ had a better idea of asking for someone's hand in marriage.

"Bella?" I hadn't realized my eyes had fallen to the ground until that moment when I had to look up at Edward. He had a small crooked smile and his arm was outstretched, offering his hand for me to take.

Suddenly his hand looked like shark teeth dipped in poison and I felt an ice-cold shiver spread over my body. It wasn't the thought of marriage that was starting to churn my stomach all of a sudden either. I took a step away from him, my eyes never leaving his offered hand. One word left my lips, soft as a feather and just as quiet. "No."

"What?" his voice sounded questioning and irritated at the same time.

My aggravation was climbing higher and higher. I looked directly into his amber eyes and felt a renewed sense of self-assurance. "I said _no_. I refuse to marry you because of some ultimatum or obligation. I may not come from a complete family but even I know that that was a really _fucked-up_ proposal. Offering to share your venom with me in exchange for marrying you is really low. Did you seriously think I would say yes after a proposal like that one? One said with no emotion or feeling, fraught in anger and sense of duty."

Edward grinded his teeth then turned his head away, the realization of what he had said and done registering over his features. I crossed my arms over my chest and awaited his rebuttal of my refusal, since it was commonplace for him to argue over the serious things.

I waited for what felt like forever. Edward didn't say a word only a quiet growl or two but no actual words. It was as if he was searching for the proper words to say but was coming up short or he imagined a bad reaction. My legs were getting tired waiting on him to come up with a response and my stomach was starting to ache.

"Edward, take me home please," Edward's head shot up and his eyes widened in panic then dropped in regret.

I avoided looking directly into his mesmerizing topaz eyes, spun on my heels and walked toward the Volvo, Brontë following slowly behind. Considering my most recent, one-sided yelling match, even Brontë was leery about how to approach me.

After reaching the car, I opened the passenger side door and waited for Brontë to hop into the back seat then I sat down in the passenger seat, fastened my belt and waited yet again. Another five minutes or so passed before Edward finally slid into the driver seat next to me.

He drove me to my home in uncomfortable silence. I could hear the hum of the car's engine, the occasional whine of Brontë behind me, and the metallic gnashing sound of Edward grinding his teeth together.

In about five minutes, Edward parked the Volvo in front of my white house, his hands remained fisted on the steering wheel. The silence was unrelenting and deafening; I think I even heard a leaf land on the hood of the car. The steering wheel let out a long quiet moan as Edward's fingers tightened around it, good thing it wasn't a living, breathing thing.

I took a deep breath before I leaned over and pressed a sweet and innocent kiss to his cheek. "I love you Edward, goodnight."

His eyes finally locked on to me and the sadness held in their depths chilled me to the bone. What did he have to be sad about, aside from the fact that I refused his unloving marriage proposal?

His hand shot out and pressed down firmly on top of mine that was lying on the center console, keeping me from exiting the car. He wiggled his eyebrows suggestively, "shall I visit you tonight?"

I stared at him in bewilderment, I knew my face must look panicked or apprehensive and I did want him to stay the night but I was still worried that things would get overly heated and he would flee again, Brontë fighting to get out the slightly open door distracted me. I opened it enough for her to exit as I smiled apologetically at Edward.

"Sorry, I need to get things ready for school tomorrow so I need time to prepare and my rest. I'll see you tomorrow okay?" his teeth grinded together again and he forced on a smile.

"Yeah, I'll see you tomorrow morning, bright and early," he emitted a halfhearted crooked smile then returned the peck on my own cheek. I was shocked and dumbfounded when he shooed me away with his hand.

I climbed out of the car and as soon as the door closed, he pealed out of the driveway and toward his home. I knew he wasn't happy about the facts that he was out voted or that I refused his proposal but do you really blame me on either condition. The first was either I change or die – I chose change. The second involved marrying him or have Carlisle change me – that was a bit more complicated.

The mere thought of having Edward as my husband turned my insides to Jell-O but I didn't want to say my vows based on a stipulation. I loved him and he loved me, that is the only requirement either one of us should have for marrying.

Some marry for money, some for status, some for fame, now a days, few marry for love and I want to be in that category but I want a proper proposal. If he really wanted to marry me, no obligations or venom required, I'd gladly say yes.

I sighed as a weight bore down on my chest as I turned and slowly headed inside. Now that Edward was back in my life I wanted to keep him there but he was making it very complicated to keep myself in control and avoid jumping him. I meandered around the house gathering up my supplies for school tomorrow, feeding Brontë, and making dinner. Not a second went by were Edward wasn't at the forefront of my mind.

Charlie called around the normal dinnertime and said he would be a few hours late and not to wait up. I ate dinner with Brontë at my feet, put Charlie's dinner in the fridge, and let Brontë out for a minute then wandered up the stairs and climbed into bed, Brontë leaping to my feet at the foot of the bed.

I fought off the feeling of waiting for Edward to arrive; I had told him not to come – boy now I was regretting that. After several, lonely minutes I slowly drifted off – images of a bronze haired boy down on one knee, ring in hand and a large smile on his face as he gazed up at me lovingly.

Was that just a wishful dream or was the proposal I got earlier going to be the only one?

* * *

_**Chapter End Notes:**_

I know some will probably yell at me for Bella refusing Edward but can you really blame her? Don't worry, I already have plans on how to fix this. And in response to some reviews, yes there will be a lemon, it is rated NC17 for a reason.

If your not counting, there is only 1 more chapter and the epilogue left, then I'll be finishing Hidden and Captured. Then I'll be starting on book 3.


	24. What Have I Done?

Twilight is not mine, I wish.

Might need a tissue, might not. I nearly did while writing this so I thought a warning would be needed.

* * *

**Chapter 24: What Have I Done?**

Okay, I'll admit, my proposal was more than likely the worst proposal in the history of mankind and Bella had made very logical reasons as to why she had said no. That night after my verbal diarrhea with Bella and after I dropped her off at home, instead of returning to my own home I had fled to our meadow and proceeded in bashing my head against a rock, calling myself stupid over and over again. Why I felt the need to ask her to marry me on one condition was mind boggling, even to a vampire.

When I finally returned home at nearly dawn, I received a very annoyed sigh and head shake from my normally hyperactive sister. _'What are we going to do about you?'_ was her passing thought as she turned and headed upstairs, images of her and Jasper stripping forced me from her mind. The rest of my family assaulted me while I attempted to escape to my room for the rest of the night. Each member if my family gave me their own piece of mind regarding Bella, Italy, the Volturi and my future. If it weren't for Emmett, Rosalie would have been happily serving my testicles on a silver platter next to my head and a glass of wine. After their aggressions toward me had been satisfied they left me to think over things.

I tried to ignore my family's criticizing thoughts and unwanted questions and headed straight for my room. I tried not to slam the door behind me but I failed. I had heard about vampires that had gone crazy, I wonder if I classified yet. Out of frustration, I threw myself down on the bed gently, careful not to break it. I was immediately engulfed in Bella's scent, it was on every inch of the bed, the pillows, and the comforter and there was a tinge of arousal. Did she have a wet dream while sleeping – god I hope so.

Now that I knew I had nothing to fear about if I was intimate with Bella, my mind had become even more bombarded with fantasies about my pale dark haired angel. Her screaming my name in ecstasy, her attempting to claw at my back as she climaxed, all the way down to her glorious mouth on my dick. I hardly ever used that word until recently, 'dick'. Since my surprise blowjob, I had used it more and more often.

Another scent wafting in the room brought me to an abrupt halt in my daydreaming. Its presence confused me a bit, why was she so aggressive toward me if she has been introduced to my scent already? Maybe she was just really protective over Bella, not that I could fault her for that, we both love Bella after all.

This had been the longest and worst week directly from hell and my siblings weren't any help. They were just as eager to torture me as the rest of the student body at Forks High School. The only good thing going for me this week was the fact that Bella and I shared all but one class I didn't even have to alter the schedules or pay anyone off which was nice. That one class was a female only health class and we males had our own – just guess what those classes involved.

We had been back to school for a week now and Bella still seemed standoffish compared to how she normally was before my freak out. I would say that it was due to my less than courteous approach to asking for her hand in marriage but she seemed distant even before that.

Yet, a week later, I still couldn't think of a way to rectify my behavior from the week prior. Bella still pulled away every time I tried to get closer or she would stiffen completely whenever my hand would wander under her shirt or up her leg. Her mannerisms were becoming very annoying. I never understood the term 'cockblock' but I do now. I was beginning to wonder if she was giving me a taste of my own medicine, since I had done the same thing to her not that long ago. However, my hesitation stemmed from fear for her safety not from a grudge. Does Bella even know how to hold a grudge – I don't think she could even with a bucket.

'_Earth to Edward, come in Edward?'_ I nearly fell off the bench at the lunch table when my love's voice invaded my musings via her lips. She pulled away with a smile once she knew she had my attention. "Sorry, we were trying to get your attention the normal way but you were so zoned out that we couldn't reach you."

"Sorry, I was thinking," I put on a lazy sheepish grin and wrapped my arms around Bella's waist and pulled her closer to my chest. I wanted Bella, and I wanted her as close to me as I could get her, problem was I couldn't get her close enough for my liking while we were at school. I started to lavish the soft and tender skin at her neck with kisses and tugs with my lips.

"I'm going to head to class now," Bella spoke with such calm that it was difficult to tell there was anything wrong with her but considering class didn't start for another thirty-three minutes and she had stiffened just seconds before speaking, I knew.

Reluctantly, I threw my arms away and into the air. My jaw tightened, my fists clenched and my teeth grinded together as I watched Bella stand and start to walk away. This was going extremely too far and it was driving me insane. I glared at Alice when she stared to sing 'Pocketful of Sunshine' in her head and she stared at the cafeteria ceiling fixatedly.

I growled aggressively and shoved myself away from the table then stormed out of the lunchroom quickly. Even at a fast human pace, I quickly located Bella. She was heading toward the gym, her head downcast and miserable.

With no humans nearby, I flashed over to Bella, pulled her by the waist to behind the gymnasium and pinned her body up against the brick wall with my hips and I held her arms above her head, her tiptoes barely touching the ground. Her breathing and heart rate increased as I stared down into her chocolate recesses called eyes. There was a defiant questioning staring back at me but I was too pissed to answer any unspoken inquiry. I pressed my growing erection into her pelvis and she gasped and shivered just before I lowered my head just slightly and captured her lips in a fierce and lustful kiss.

I repositioned my hands so one of mine was holding both of hers securely above her. My now free hand started to touch and caress her ribs and slowly moved upwards while my mouth left hers and sought the enticing flesh at her neck.

The second my lips were off her, she turned her head to the side violently and glared at the ground. I took her chin in my free hand and forced her to look at me. "Why the hell are you acting like this? Does my touch repulse you now? Is that it? What is wrong? Just tell me."

I knew I sounded demanding and forceful but I hoped she also heard the pleading and desperation in my voice. Her eyes saddened, the edges brimming with unshed tears and she tried to look away again but I held her face firmly with my fingers. If she wouldn't explain verbally, maybe I could get her to speak mentally. I pressed my lips firmly down on hers.

Please, just tell me what is wrong.

I could smell the salt water in the air as her tears sprang free. _'I can't, I don't want to lose you again. I can't…I won't do it…I'll do whatever it takes to keep you.'_

I pulled away and gazed at her, confused. "Won't do what?" I cupped her face with both hands, her tears streaming down her cheeks unnoticed by her. "Bella, I'm not going anywhere, I won't survive if I was to leave you again. Please, can you tell me why you continue to pull away from me if it isn't because you detest my touch? What won't you do?"

I couldn't make out the color of her eyes anymore because of the saltwater that pooled over the tops of them. "The reason you left before," she sniffled. "Was because I wanted to be intimate with you," she sniffled again then downcast her eyes toward the ground. "I would rather live without any intimacy from the man I love than to live without him by my side."

Her words were heartbreaking and cut through my chest like a serrated knife through steak, it tore and it hurt. I stumbled backwards a few steps, keeping my eyes on her tearstained face. She had turned the tables on me. I was always the one putting a halt on any sexual advances she made. Now I totally understand what she felt whenever I shirked away from anything over romantic.

All she had wanted was to be my true mate and I had rejected her at every turn all because I was scared. Bella hugged her arms around her shoulders tightly and tried to stop her tears. I caused this beautiful, loving, and kind angel to cry because I wouldn't give her the one thing that only _I_ could give her and now that I was offering it to her – she was terrified to take it for fear of becoming alone again because I freaked out last time.

What have I done to this innocent creature? I fucked up and in the process fucked up any chance of actually being intimate with her in the foreseeable future. I need to fix this for both our sakes. I was at a complete lose as to what to do while Bella wiped her face dry with her right jacket sleeve. Once her face was tearless, I reached for her and held her tightly to my chest, wrapping my arms firmly around her shoulders. Bella sighed then relaxed against me and embraced me as well.

"I know I've royally messed things up but I will make this better, I promise," I whispered into her neck. Bella's arms tightened around me and she nuzzled her face against my chest, she didn't utter a single word. We remained locked in each other's arms until the lunch bell rang, informing the students it was time for class.

I walked with Bella to our Physical Education class, which I also considered a joke. I always had to downplay my skills and Bella continually scoffed at my poor efforts – she knew better then to call me out on my failed baskets or pitiful aim. Bella on the other hand always need assistance in one way or another and I was all too willing to help. This first week was merely goofing off in class, next week will be my specialty and Bella was not happy about it. Next week the teacher planned to start teaching us dancing.

After gym, I escorted Bella to her Health class then walked across the hall to my own Health class and took my seat. I was a hundred and five years old for crying out loud, I could teach the boys anything they wanted to know but of course there is that one and only subject I had no knowledge about, unless you count my mind reading as a learning aide – which I don't. When I found out from several minds that I would be attending Sex Education classes, my first thought was to fake an illness but I rethought my plan and decided the class might actually be a good thing.

I was torn between laughing and running from the room screaming when the teacher started to point out different parts of the male anatomy with a long metal pointer, the thoughts I was hearing didn't help much either.

'_Oh my god, don't tell me Mr. Carr is going to demonstrate how to put on a condom?'_

'_I don't need this class. I've probably had more sex than the teacher has.'_

'_This stuff is so embarrassing!'_

'_They should rename the class to how to do sex.'_

'_I'm sure all us guys know what testicles are and were to stick our dicks in a female.'_

So many crude thoughts and most were hilarious, I found myself biting my lip frequently so I didn't burst out laughing. The second the bell rang, I was out of my seat, out of the classroom and lifting Bella up in my arms and covering her lips.

'_Was class that bad?'_

I released her and caressed her cheek with my fingers. "I was away from you, so yes."

"You're hopeless you know that?" I shrugged nonchalantly then ushered Bella toward the Volvo. Alice was already waiting for us, perched on top of her car's hood, absorbing the nonexistent sun. I scowled at my annoying sister as she glanced over and watched as we approached. I still can't believe I bought her that car, all she did was stopping me from committing suicide – I don't think it warranted a Porsche.

'_Edward, it did warrant a reward and I wanted a Porsche so shut up! Oh by the way, Carlisle wants you two at the house in a few hours okay,'_ she hopped of the hood and slid in behind the steering wheel then paused. _'I'll send Jasper over in about an hour,'_ without an explanation, she sped out of the school parking lot.

Bella gazed up at me, equally confused. "I don't know, all I saw was an ecstatic Jasper."

It took us all of five minutes to leave the parking lot and arrive at Bella's house. The last thing either of us expected to see was an enormous Quileute boy perched on her lawn. I glared at the decrepit appearance of the motor bike behind him then I unleashed the full force of my glare on the boy.

I parked the car and cut the engine, and then Bella practically jumped out of the door toward the boy. I exited quickly and stiffened just as rapidly when I saw Bella leap up to give the tall boy a hug. He hugged her back then released her swiftly, probably upon hearing the growling that I wasn't aware of at first. He looked me over from head to toe and I did the same to him.

'_So that's the infamous boyfriend that's supposedly been in Alaska and couldn't be bothered to even call her,'_ he scrunched his nose in an annoyed way. _'Yep, he's definitely a vampire, my god they stink_.'

This time I did growl voluntarily and he stood up straighter then diverted his eyes from me to gaze down at Bella. I felt a very strong feeling of jealousy in my stomach and I fought the urge to rush over and rip Bella from the young pup's side. Speaking of pups, Brontë appeared from around the corner of the house and went to sit at Bella's side and she looked at Jacob with the same kind of guarded stare that she used with me.

Jacob was the one who had given Bella the puppy, but it would seem that Brontë was protective of her master even against Jacob. This new insight into the small animal made me feel akin to her in some small way – no matter whom, we would both protect Bella.

"I brought your bike for you," the masculine but boyish voice brought me back to the current situation.

Her bike? Her father was a police chief, she has to know how dangerous those things are, even more so than driving a car at over a hundred miles an hour. I stalked toward her, turned her by her shoulders quickly, and forced her to look at me.

"Please tell me you're not planning on riding that thing again," Bella smirked at me then slowly took a step away from me.

"And what if I was?" she walked over to the monstrosity and ran her fingers sensually over the gas tank. I snarled at her question and the sexual movements of her hands over the smooth metal surface – that could be me if I hadn't of screwed things up.

I heard Jacob snickering from somewhere to my right but I ignored him. _'She can't be serious, she didn't even want to test ride the thing in the first place. I bet she's just trying to get a rise out of him and I think its working.'_

Bella snapped her head around and glared at her friend. He had just outed her and the little game she was playing and he didn't even know it. I relaxed my stance and crossed my arms, waiting for her to admit defeat. She hissed then glared at me, this was turning into one big glaring match between the four of us.

"Of course I wasn't going to ride it, I'm not that stupid. With my gravity deficiency, I would probably find a new way to hurt myself on that thing. I was planning on giving it to someone," she continued to glare at me, her face screaming that she had more common sense than to chance her life on that machine.

"Well, I'm gonna head home now okay," Bella nodded at Jacob but kept her eyes locked on me_. 'Shit, it looks like he's in deep trouble. The minute he screws up and Bella leaves his ass, I am so gonna claim her as mine.'_

"Goodbye Jacob," Bella snapped in a hostile way causing the boy to flinch and pick up the pace toward a beat up Chevy that reminded me much of Bella's red paperweight. He climbed inside the truck and hastily departed the area.

Once the roar of his machine had vanished, I stalked toward Bella and the death trap. She didn't turn her head to watch me as I stood at her side, she simple watched me from the corner of her eye, and I sneered down at the bike. That small two-wheeled contraption was a threat to my love's life and I was ecstatic to learn that she had never been on it nor never will be.

"So who are you giving the bike to?" I glanced over to her, curious about what her answer would be.

Bella looked thoughtfully toward the sky. "Well, there is only one person I can think of without a mode of transportation now," she pulled her phone from her pocket and flipped it open. "Oh, and he should be here in about 5…4…3…"

'_Why in the world would Alice say to run to Bella's house, was I not allowed to take the Porsche?'_

The owner of the thought broke through the tree line, his long bland locks in total disarray with twigs and leaves sticking out. "Bella, what is wrong? Alice was very vague about ordering me over here."

"Hey Jasper, how would you like to have your own set of wheels?" Bella asked cheerful.

Jasper tilted his head slightly and gazed at her skeptically. "I would love that. What's the catch?"

Bella bit her bottom lip and chuckled quietly. "No catch. I just have a working motorcycle that I never plan on using and I though you would like to use it, maybe spruce it up a bit."

His eyes grew wide as he slowly pointed to the cycle behind Bella. She nodded and stepped to the side to give him a better view. _'You aren't pulling my leg are you?'_

She giggled softly and shook her head. "No I'm not. To be honest, I actually got it for you. I thought you would like it."

Jasper stepped toward the bike slowly, eyeing it intently. _'She got me a bike, really, it's really mine, I now have my own set of wheels, and I don't have to rely on others anymore.'_

Bella and I both chuckled as Jasper approached the bike and ran his hand over the seat, gas tank and handle bars. She waved her hand in the air dismissively while she walked over to the Volvo. "We have to go to your house now, so we'll leave you and the bike alone for now."

'_Hey wait; can I have the keys so I can ride it home?'_ Bella tossed the keys over to the smiling Jasper then climbed into the car with Brontë.

We waited inside the car while Jasper started the bike, it took one kick-start and it roared to life. Jasper's smile elongated over his face and he seemed to take pleasure in the roar of the machine.

Bella whirled the window down and shouted to my brother. "We're leaving without you," she put the window back up, put her seat belt on then sat back in the seat, waiting for me to pull away or for Jasper to get a move on.

Much to my surprise, Jasper's head snapped around and he stuck his tongue out at Bella, which naturally caused her to blush slightly and giggle. I started the car and watched as my brother hopped on the bike and steered it toward the road and toward our home. He took off like a bat out of hell and I fought to stay behind him through town, good thing it wasn't very long until we hit the highway to our house. I could hear the bike's engine open up as Jasper revved it up and sped down the highway at an even faster speed.

Thanks to Jasper's need for speed and my need to keep up with him, I was able to go faster than normal without Bella having a fit and we arrived to my house in only three minutes. Jasper quickly went inside and told everyone what Bella had given him. I was relieved when Bella waited for me to round the car and open the door for her, it totally threw me off my game whenever she didn't allow me to be the gentleman I was raised to be.

As soon as Bella climbed out of the car, I slammed my lips down on hers and fell into my own personal heaven. Am I forgiven yet, will you be more intimate with me?

'_Not even close.'_

I pulled away from Bella and my happy place and glared down at the angel now folded in my arms. She really wasn't going to make this easy for me was she? "You can be mean when you want to be can't you?"

She tapped her hand against my stone chest, shrugged out of my embrace, and headed for the front door. "Only when I'm being toyed with, now let's go see what Carlisle wanted." I stared after her, slack jawed and stunned.

'_Ouch, little brother is being put in his place. Oh by the way, her present is here already,' _ I debated over ripping Emmett apart, smacking him, or beating a reminder into him that _I_ wasn't the only mind reader around anymore. An image of Bella's birthday present sitting in the garage flitted into my mind and for once, I was glad that she couldn't see images.

Even though she said she didn't like or want presents, I'm positive she would like this one, it met all but one of her requirements. Now to think of something for me to give her that I didn't spend money on, that was the tricky part.

'_Are you going to stay out there all day or do you want to learn what I found out?' _I snarled softly at Carlisle's words, of course I wanted to know about his results, was that a rhetorical question? I grumbled a few more times, as I walked toward the house.

I walked inside to see Emmett and Jasper playing keep-away from Brontë with a tennis ball, everyone else was sitting on the couch or loveseats, waiting for Carlisle to speak. Carlisle was sitting in the loveseat next to Esme, a small grin on his face. I hesitantly walked over and took my seat next to Bella, eyeing Carlisle the whole way over.

'_There is nothing to be worried about Edward, its good news.'_ Carlisle grabbed up Esme's hand and his grin increased. "I found out why Bella's agility has been fluctuating. Bella gave me a blood sample the other day, compare those to the samples I took while Edward was…camping, I now know what has been happening. The sample I took the other day had venom mixed with it but during Edward's absence, there was no venom. I highly suspect that Bella's body has been absorbing the venom when you kiss and the venom has been acting as a vaccine for her clumsiness."

"Really! What about her spurt of gracefulness when Edward was gone?" asked Rosalie and I immediately stiffened.

"She's right, I hadn't seen Edward at all during that time," Bella confirmed Rosalie's question. I stiffened even more as Alice grinned like the Cheshire cat and she shot me an image of me in Bella's room, ruining her headboard. Damn her, she saw that!

"I um, snuck into Bella's room and kissed her," I tried to look shameful as Bella gazed at me with wide chocolate brown eyes. "You've known I have a hard time staying away from you."

'_Hard…'_ Emmett burst out laughing as he drew out that single word and emphasized it. I wasted absolutely no time in throwing the nearby pillow directly at his head. He didn't duck out of the way and I only succeeded in making him laugh harder. _'Remember Nerf or nothin' Eddie.'_

"Emmett," Bella voiced calmly. "Shut up!"

Emmett immediately froze up. It wasn't often that Bella told him to be quiet, but we all knew that she would bite if barked at and Emmett was barking up the wrong tree.

"So what you're saying is that when Edward and I kiss, I ingest some of his venom and it's his venom that has been curing my clumsiness?" Bella stated calmly but I noticed the hint of excitement hidden on the edges of her words.

Carlisle smiled and nodded. "It's only temporary though. If you two were to stop kissing, then you would become awkward like you were before. I've also notice, in both of you while you were separated that you both underwent a form of depression equal to that of a truly dead mate."

"To put it bluntly, you two have to remain together for Bella's safety and your sanity," Alice sang as she bounced up and down on the seat.

Under the circumstances, I couldn't help myself – I pulled Bella's face toward mine and locked my lips down on hers. She melted into me as I leaned over her, bearing down on her while I intensified the kiss.

'_Hey, it's getting a bit __**hot**__ in here, no getting naked in the living room!'_

In a split second, I had to wrap my arms around Bella's waist as she attempted to launch herself over the back of the couch at Jasper. She growled at me, which I found incredibly sexy, then she directed her growling to my brother. "Just wait till I'm changed, you're not going to be happy…Alice won't be either."

"Ewwww, I'm so scared of a little girl and her puppy," Jasper teased her by faking being scared, which was really sad to watch.

"BELLA! Stop threatening my husband and go upstairs and make-out with your mate and Jasper, stop antagonizing her," Alice snapped and crossed her arms over her chest unwaveringly.

Without another word, I grabbed Bella by the waist, threw her over my shoulder, and darted up the stairs to my bedroom. I dropped her on the bed unceremoniously then stalked toward her because she was my prey in every sense of the word. I had her in my sights and I would taste every part of her body, I will devour her with my eyes and I will consume every feeling of love she had to offer.

"Edward, when am I supposed to get dinner?" I hung my head in defeat. I was getting very annoyed with her human moments and the prospect of her becoming one of us was looking better and better.

I kneeled on the floor and rested my chin on the mattress as I stared up at her miserably. "You really know how to kill the moment."

She patted me on the head like a petulant child then stood up. "Poor baby," she walked back out of the room and I watched her forlornly.

I rolled slightly so I was sitting on the floor, leaning up against the side of the bed. How much longer am I going to have to endure her slamming on the breaks? Had I really done irreparable damage to my sweet angel? Was I now to endure a celibate life like the one I had before I met her? Go figure. Now that I wanted what she had offered me, she had it locked away from me tightly.

Her birthday was just in a couple of days, maybe I could think of some way to fix this by then. Maybe it could be linked to her birthday present…whatever that may be.

* * *

_**Chapter End Notes:**_

Wow, this is the longest Edward chapter in the whole book. I hope everything made sense and I don't get in trouble by my readers. I loved throwing in Jasper's teasing at Bella, what did you all think.

Any guesses as to what Emmett got Bella for her birthday? More importantly, what is Edward going to get her?

Only the epilogue left, wow. Then Ill be finishing Hidden and Captured. Should I start posting my newest story Everlasting before posting book 3?


	25. Epilogue: Soiree

*cries* Twilight is not mine, sorry.

Very small tissue warning but its for happy tears.

I'm going to mark lemonade scenes with the following **o0o***o0o**. I have a good friend that wants to read my stories but the smut turns her away. Please understand.

* * *

**Epilogue: Soiree**

It took me eighteen years, but I finally did it, I found the one place I truly and completely belonged. It may seem like fiction but it's my fiction, it may be a fantasy but it's my fantasy and I love it. Whoever said that mythological creatures didn't exist, needs to be shot, repeatedly.

A cold breeze blew across my face and I involuntarily shivered. I wasn't ready to wake up yet, my dreams were all about the pale, topaz eyed vampiric god that constantly professed his love to me.

"Bella…wake up…" I scrunched my nose and tried to bury my face in my arms. "Come on birthday girl, wakie wakie."

I attempted to shove my _alarm clock_ away but failed miserably at moving the stone statue even a fraction of an inch. I moaned and tried to burrow my face further away from the annoying _clock_ and the cool breeze. Through my sleepy haze, I felt several small, cold kisses trailed along my exposed neck.

"Bella, the lunch bell is going to ring soon. You need to wake up," I let out half a groan before my mind totally came around. Lunch bell? Crap!

My head shot up and my eyes slowly focused on Edward and Alice sitting at the same table as me. I stretched my arms out in front of me before sitting up straight.

'_Gee Bella, is Edward keeping you up until odd hours of the night?'_

I didn't hesitate and turned a menacing glare on Alice. "You're the all powerful seer, you tell me," she glared back at me. "Be nice or I won't come over tonight."

Her eyebrows shot toward the ceiling. "But it's your party. You can't skip out on your own party!"

"I can and I will so be nice," Alice's face sunk at my warning and Edward snickered beside me, I tilted my head up and didn't look at Edward. "That goes for you too."

When his lips tightened into a thin line, I smirked. I stood up and gathered up my bag then turned on Alice suddenly. "Let me remind you hyperactive pixie, no going overboard. No DJs, champagne fountains, or ten layers of cake, in fact, no cake would be perfect. Something simple and cozy, nothing extravagant would be just right." I rolled my eyes as Alice held up two fingers. "That's the sign for the boy scouts promise."

'_Oops,'_ she shrugged nonchalantly and grinned. "Oh and per your request, tonight is casual."

I sighed and smiled at her then grabbed Edward's hand and pulled him along behind me, which he allowed or he wouldn't have moved in the first place. "So do I have many presents?" I asked on a sigh.

Edward flashed to my side and placed a hand around my back to rest on my hip. "Honestly, not many, only about three or four."

I was so shocked that I stopped in my tracks and stared up at Edward. "Really?" He scoffed then nodded. "Well let's finish with school then get this day over with," I ignored it but I could have sworn I heard him hiss as I walked away.

I couldn't get through today any faster. Sixth period was normal by all mean but seventh was far from typical. Upon entering the classroom the teacher had pulled me the front of the room and sat me down on a high stool. After giving the room about a lesson about how not to go out and celebrate with sex on your birthday, she turned around and gave me a basket full of different types of condoms. Then Mrs. Carr said if we were going to celebrate that we should remember to be safe. I have never been so humiliated or so red ever before.

As soon as the bell rang, I rushed out of the room, leaving the basket in the room. I immediately ran over and buried my face in Edward's chest. I heard him chuckle and his chest bounced up and down.

'_Poor Bella, the teacher shouldn't have put her on the spot like that.'_

'_If she's going to have sex with Edward tonight, I'm so jealous.'_

'_I bet she's still a virgin. Edward doesn't seem very satisfied. I wonder if I can convince him to leave her?'_

Cold hands grabbed my face and tilted it up toward a face that should belong to a god but it belonged to the man I loved. Without any warning and in the middle of the hallway, he pressed his lips down on mine sensually.

'_Ignore them. No one needs to convince me of anything, I'm not going anywhere.'_

His words made me feel a little better but there was that little gremlin in the back of my mind that kept springing forth to alert me to the possibility that he could run away again.

'_When are you going to stop listening to your head and go with your heart?'_

I broke the kiss and returned my face to his chest then wrapped my arms around his waist. "I haven't decided yet."

Edward escorted me toward the Volvo and his sister was standing next to her car waiting for us. _'See you at the house in two hours?' _She didn't wait for a reply and quickly hopped into her Porsche then pealed out of the parking lot.

"I guess I have to be at the house in two hours," I stared after the yellow blur before it vanished from sight around a corner.

After arriving at my house and letting Brontë out, I went upstairs to change for the party. I turned to close my bedroom door and was surprised to see Edward right behind me and he stopped the door from hitting him. I watched as his eyes turned from rich honey gold to deep ebony, as he looked me up and down.

"Edward, what are you doing?" His eyes darted from my chest to meet my eyes and a sheepish grin appeared.

"Enjoying the view, sorry, I thought I could help you change," he wiggled his eyebrows a few time suggestively. God, he's been a horny dog lately.

I walked over, pressed my chest against his, and traced his jaw line with my finger. I leaned into him just enough that his breathing became rapid and he took a step back. "After eighteen years, you would think I had learned to dress myself," I giggled as I slammed the door on him. "Sorry, Edward, I don't need any help right now."

He growled loudly then stomped his way back down the stairs. I was surprised when I turned back around and saw a camera with a lavender bow and a scrapbook sitting on my bed, presents from my parents no doubt. I swiftly changed into an outfit that Alice had secretly stashed in my closet, a comfortable white baby-doll dress with a black tie over the chest and tied on a pair of sand colored braided ankle sandals*. I ran a brush through my hair quickly and left it to hang loose down my back. I slowly left my room a descended the stairs.

Brontë yipped happily upon seeing me and Edward turned his head to see what had disturbed her. He was standing in front of the doorway with his arms crossed over his chest, pouting until he saw me. His eyes widened and immediately turned the deepest black I've ever seen so far and his mouth dropped open, nearly hitting the floor. His eyes caressed my body as they roamed from my feet, up my legs, around my waist, past my chest, and finally to my face. A smile inched its way across his face and his blackened orbs journeyed back down to my chest.

I knew this dress enhanced my chest quite a bit but having Edward ogle my breast was a new experience for me, I was starting to wonder if this is a new side of Edward, I was going to have to get used to most likely.

"Well, shall we get going before Alice shows up here to cart me off?" Edward nodded dumbly then escorted me out the door and toward his car, his hand lingering on my back.

After we were both seated in the car, Edward took off, determination in the way he was driving. There was definitely something on his mind, his eyes were focused on the road in front of us but his eye peeked at me from the corner and his fingers tightened around the steering wheel.

'_She's here!'_ sang a small voice happily, I cringed at how happy Alice seemed.

"We haven't had a birthday party in decades, so Alice is a little excited," Edward glanced at me with apologetic eyes. "Don't worry too much, she wasn't allowed to go overboard, much."

I sneered at his _much_ comment, knowing Edward as I did, he would love to have a big party in my honor. Now that I think about it, he would probably help Alice in going to extremes.

When we arrived at the large house, Edward didn't even have a chance to exit the car before someone pulled me unceremoniously out of the car and hauled into the house then placed gently on my feet. I glared menacingly down at the small girl that was able to carry me around as if I was a bag of feathers.

'_What, you weren't moving fast enough,'_ she then looked at my attire and smiled. _'Nice choice Bella, I guess I'm rubbing off on you,' _she shrugged her shoulders then grabbed my hand and pulled me toward a small round table. There was a small white sheet cake with pink roses and the words 'Happy Birthday Bella' on it. "Esme demanded she be allowed to make you a cake."

I sprang at Esme, hugging her tightly. "Thank you, it's perfect."

She hugged me back gently. "Alice wanted to get you a three tier cake but I figured you would prefer something more personal and smaller."

I scoffed at what she told me of Alice's intentions; leave it Alice to go big. "This is just right – nothing too big and I can take leftovers to Charlie."

Alice must have felt the need to reciprocate and she stuck her tongue out in our direction. Edward walked up behind me and placed his hand at the small of my back and Brontë sat down on the floor at my feet. "I'll let Esme have your birthday but I get your wedding."

What wedding was she talking about? If things stayed the same, there wouldn't be one. "Alice there isn't-"

"Here," she handed me a small envelope. "This is from Carlisle and Esme." _'Careful don't to cut yourself okay.'_

I did as she asked and I opened the envelope very slowly, causing Alice to start tapping her foot impatiently. She started to growl softly just as I finished ripping it open. At first, I didn't know what I was looking at, sure, I knew they were plane tickets but it took more inspection to learn where the destination was. My eyes grew wide as I stared down at the round-trip ticket to Jacksonville. I threw myself at Carlisle and Esme, thanking them profusely.

'_We had them before your sudden visit a few weeks ago. We figured you could use them to see your mother one last time.'_ My smile broke for a second and Carlisle's words but it returned quickly enough at knowing they were just trying to help me wrap up loose ends. I thanked them again just as Alice shoved a large bag in my face.

I took a step back so I could grab the bag properly. It was incredibly light and I wondered if there was even anything in it. I set the enormous bag on the floor and started to pull out the tissue paper. On the very bottom of the bag was a handwritten note in Alice's penmanship:

It wouldn't fit in the bag,

Look in the garage.

Oh dear god, what could she have possibly gotten me that was too big for the bag, a completely new wardrobe or a complete set of cosmetics maybe? Alice started shaking her head violently from side to side.

"Nope, it's from Emmett, Rosalie, Jasper and I," Alice grinned which made me nervous. It was from all four of them, now I was worried.

I squealed when Emmett approached me and acted as if he was about to throw me over his shoulder, not in a dress he wasn't. I was pleased when he took me by the hand and dragged me toward the garage. "Come on sis, you're gonna love it."

He stopped in front of the door leading to the garage and pulled me in front of him then covered my eyes with his massive hands. Now I was sickly nervous, I heard Jasper snickering behind me, I'll get revenge on him later. Emmett slowly walked me through the doorway and I felt hands positioning me in the colossal room.

"Okay Bella, open your eyes," I felt Emmett remove his hands from my face and it took a moment for my eyes to focus in the bright room. _'Please like it.'_

Was he more nervous than I was? My eyes slowly adjusted and took in the sight of the Vanquish, the Mercedes, the Porsche, the BMW and sitting behind the bike I had given Jasper was the most beautiful red Chevy pickup I'd ever seen, complete with a gigantic red bow on the hood.

My hands immediately flew to my mouth to cover any gasps I might have accidently emitted aloud. I walked unhurriedly up to the side of the truck. The interior was black and pristine. There was a silver box in the back perfect for storing things. I walked around to the front of the truck, running my fingers over the hood seductively. It was perfect and matched me to a T.*

I turned and stared at everyone standing in the doorway, all eyes were hesitant and waiting. Did they honestly expect me not to like it? The tears I had been trying desperately to hold back sprang loose. "Thank you so much, this is absolutely perfect. Thank you for considering what would be right for me."

Each of them took turn giving me hug and saying happy birthday. I was having difficult time getting my crying under control but at least they were happy tears and Emmett and Jasper gave me bad time about the waterworks. Esme took me by the shoulder and led me back to the table and the cake, she served me a slice and I took a bit, surprised at how delicious the almond cake tasted.

I ate slowly, savoring the taste of the lovingly made cake. I thought over the gifts I had received and was incredibly pleased, even though they had gone against my wishes and spent money on them, at least they were things I could use. I stopped mid-bite when I realized that my own boyfriend wasn't among the gift givers. Had he actually listened to me when I told him I didn't want anything?

Alice started snickering somewhere behind me. _'If only she knew what my dear brother had planned,' _I turned my head slowly and glared at her. _'Whoops,'_ she then pranced away, whispering and looking for her husband.

Edward hissed in Alice's general direction. "Bad sister!"

So, Edward was planning something and apparently he wanted to keep it a secret. I tilted my head inquisitively toward Edward and he attempted to play innocent by trying to get Emmett to play a video game, which Emmett refused and scolded him for suggesting it at his own girlfriend's party. Edward in turn looked chagrined and regretful.

I crossed my arms over my chest and looked at him sympathetically. "Edward, just give me my present," I extended a hand out toward him and waited.

His eyebrows shot toward the ceiling and his eyes darted back and forth around the room. "Um, I can't, it's not here."

For someone who can't blush, he really looked embarrassed. He took several steps toward me, closing the gap between us and he leaned over to whisper in my ear. "It's in our meadow."

I tilted my head away from him slightly so I could look directly into his golden eyes. Pondering over the idea that maybe he planned a picnic or just some quality time together, that would be superb.

"I'll drive," I saw his jaw drop open slightly just before I headed toward the garage.

'_Oh, it's for some quality time all right, and then some. We'll watch Brontë while your away.'_

"Alice, shut up!" Edward snapped viciously as he followed me toward my truck. When we were in the garage, he flicked a switch and the garage doors started to retract toward the ceiling then he pulled the monster-sized bow off the hood and placed it gently on the Porsche. The yellow of the car and the red of the bow reminded me of the Wiener mobile and I giggled.

I hopped into the driver seat enthusiastically and the seat felt heavenly beneath me. Everything inside the truck was a beautiful and clean black and I couldn't wait to drive it. I reached for the ignition but found no keys were present. Upon hearing the jingling of metal against metal, I turned to see Edward dangling the keys in front of him. I quickly snatched the keys away from him and inserted the larger key in to the ignition, turning it over right away. The truck roared to life and I felt euphoric at the rumbling sound, it wasn't loud like a sick and dying bear but it reminded me of a proud and regal lion stating its presence.

I smiled over at Edward, enjoying my new present and baby. The only response I got was a raised eyebrow and an eye-roll. "Are you driving to the meadow or am I driving instead?"

I scowled at him briefly then put the truck in reverse and exited the garage. In a matter of seconds, we were zooming down the highway, relishing in my new mode of transportation. I pulled off the highway onto the secluded overgrown logging road that led to our meadow. The Chevy had no problem what so ever with the numerous rocks and fallen branches. All too soon, we went as far as we could by wheels and we departed the truck.

Without warning, Edward lifted me into his arms bridal style and held me as close to his body as possible before he darted into the forest. I squeezed my eyes closed tightly and kept them that way until I knew it was safe. My eyes hand only been closed for about four minutes when I felt my body being shifted and placed on the ground.

A pair of ice-cold lips gently touched my neck and my eyes snapped open and instantly took in my surroundings. The sky had grown dark, casting the meadow in a shadowed hue. Several tiki style torched cast a fiery glow around the immediate area and a few more placed by the small waterfall. I was surprised when I didn't feel grass under my palm or around my fingers. I glanced down to see that earlier I had been placed on top of some plush, luxurious blankets, a number of overstuffed pillows were scattered around the edges, and a small wicker basket was sitting on a corner.

Everything was exquisite and beautiful. I looked up at Edward and smiled warmly then back to the meadow. "Edward, this is so beautiful. Is this my present?"

Edward took a seat next to me while shaking his head. "Not exactly but I figured it would help set the mood."

Mood, mood for what? There were only two situations for setting a romantic mood and I wasn't getting my hopes up – my heart couldn't take it if I was wrong. I averted my eyes from him and focused on a nearby burgundy pillow.

"Well, now that you got me here, what's my present?" I kept my eyes locked on the pillow and awaited his answer.

"Me."

My head shot around and I stared at Edward who was now reclined, lying down on the blanket, comfortably stretch out. I shook my head violently, I had to of heard him wrong, there is no way that he would give me himself as a present. "Seriously, if you got me something just out with it."

Before another word rang out over the meadow, I gasped and found myself staring up at the darkened night sky, my back on the blanket. Edward's face was soon hovering above me, his eyes remorseful and pleading. He then leaned forward and rested his forehead on my shoulder. I could feel his cold skin and equally cold breath on my skin and it sent shivers throughout my body.

"I'm sorry. I can't begin to describe how sorry I am. I never meant to run off or push you away. I panicked. I was scared of what I might do to you during the height of passion. I know now that as much as I love you, I could never hurt you," I opened my mouth to speak but Edward stopped me by placing a finger against my lips. "I was _shown_ that during intercourse we, vampires, our humanity comes out and we don't have to worry about hurting our partner."

His words did make a little more sense now. I do remember Tanya thinking that she would show him that everything would be all right. Now I know what she was talking about all along. With every word he spoke, my resolve slipped further and further through my fingers.

"I know you're afraid of losing me but I promise you that nothing will scare me away again, nothing. The only way you can get rid of me is if that is what you wish, then I'll leave-"

"That will-"

"I know, that will never happen," he smiled crookedly when I glowered at him. "Did you know that when we become intimate that it creates a powerful bond with our mate, that's one of the reasons mated vampires are so adamant about revenge for their lost mate. If we became true mates there is no going back, no getting bored with the other, no leaving for someone else, and no abandoning. Once we become mates, we live, breathe, and sometimes kill for our mate, they are everything to us," Edward sensually traced my jaw and cheeks with a finger, his voice oozed sexuality, every word and movement could cause a nun to orgasm. "Are you sure you're ready for that level of commitment?"

His words were heartfelt and considerate, I knew he was worried about what I would think or change my mind if I had all the facts, but there was one simple fact that was the most important. This man, this vampire, is whom I will love until the end of eternity. I gazed into his loving eyes – they were slowly turning from his usual topaz to a darker, lustier black. My resolve crumbled completely. I reached up, wrapped my fingers tightly into his shirt, and pulled him down so his face was millimeters from mine.

"What if I don't want to get rid of you?" I lifted my head just slightly and demanded the attention of his lips. If he was willingly offering me everything that he was than who was I to argue? If he was honestly trying to scare me away then he had another thing coming.

'_I'm not trying to scare you away. I just want you fully aware of what becoming a vampires' mate means,'_ his lips pressed down on mine harder and I pulled his shirt tighter to me. _'I hope you know what you're doing and what it means?'_

Of course, I know what it means, I'll be yours in every sense of the word and you can't get rid of me, which is just how I want it. My fingers moved somewhat and started to undo his shirt buttons.

'_Are you absolutely sure about this?'_

Positively sure, I want you in every way! As soon as I had all the shirt buttons undone, I slid my hands between his back and the fabric, pulling the shirt off as I moved. I steadily moved my hands towards Edward's pants but his hands clasped mine firmly.

'_Not yet, let's take our first time slowly and savor it,_' he smiled against my lips.

Chicken! As long as I'm with you, I'll savor every second.

He released my lips and I glared at him. "Please, Bella I would rather take this leisurely. I want to worship every inch of your body before I make it rightfully mine." He then gently placed kiss after kiss along my neck, down to my collarbone and over my shoulders.

I moaned with each swipe of his icy tongue or lips against my fiery skin. I had hoped that his cold skin would prevent my body from overheating but I was quickly starting to feel like was burning from the inside out. I fisted my hands into the blanket beneath me when I felt chilly fingers ghosting around my right calf, slowly drawing my dress upwards.

With immense effort, I managed to dislodge my fingers from the blanket and latched them into Edward's hair, pulling his lips of my collarbone and forcing his head back to mine so I could claim his lips again.

Oh, God…please…I'm on fire…please…I want you…inside…please…

'_Not yet, I want you completely ready for me,'_ his lips became more eager against mine and I arched my body instinctively toward his and I felt the obvious indicator of his arousal.

Damn it…I'm ready now…please…

'_Tsk tsk tsk, patients my love,'_ his hand moved higher up my legs, massaging my hip and playing at the thin string of my underwear.

His mouth left mine then traveled back down my neck sucking and pulling with his lips. I gasped loudly and clung to his back when I felt his other hand cupping my breast through the fabric of the dress. This was the first time I was glad I didn't have to wear a bra, easier access. I felt my dress inch up even more as an obvious erection pressed against one of the most sensitive parts of my body. I gasped and Edward growled at the sudden pleasurable friction.

"Edward…please…I'm too hot…" I was panting, moaning and writhing now, his touch causing my body to react on its own and I was from top to bottom willing. I let out another audible gasp when he pressed his erection into me again and at that time, I found myself dress-less beneath Edward and the stars.

Edward hissed above me and I gazed at him though my lust filled haze. He was sitting up slightly, looking down at me, studying me with his solid onyx orbs. "Bella, you are so beautiful."

His voice was husky and sexual and I arched my hips faintly towards him. He growled again before lowering his body over me and slowly trailing his tongue over my left nipple. My eyes closed, my back arched, and I moaned loudly at the new sensation, he then repeated his ministrations with my right nipple, creating the same reaction out of me as before. I nearly lost my mind completely when he sucked my breast into his mouth and started sucking, his right hand reaching up and fondling my left breast.

The writhing, moaning and arching didn't deter Edward in the slightest from doing what he wanted to my body, and I wasn't about to complain. I was lost in a world of oblivion and feelings. I barely heard a ripping sound but chose not to acknowledge it for fear of missing any new experiences. I heard a rather loud inhale and hiss and I chanced a glance at Edward again. He was sitting back fumbling with his belt.

"Damn it, if I had a change of clothes I would rip these damn things off," he growled in frustration.

**o0o***o0o**

I clambered to my knees and quickly took control of his mouth while I moved his hands away and undid his belt and pants for him. I pressed my bare chest against his and relished in the feel of his cool skin to my burning chest. His arms wrapped around my waist tightly and we fell, Edward was now on his back and I was straddling his chilly torso. The coldness of his stomach pressed against my sweltering core was my undoing.

I leaned forward, devouring him in an unending and passionate kiss. I wiggled around until the head of his penis was just barely touching where I wanted him most. I guess watching pornos do help.

'_You've watch porn…'_ his words trailed off and his head lolled back as I slowly lowered myself down on him, completely filling my core with him.

I started to move, leisurely at first but the friction wasn't enough and I had to speed up. Edward was growling and moaning and his hands shot to my hips in an effort to help guide me. I rested my hands on his chest to help with my movements. The feeling was incredible, filling, complete, whole, together. This joining of our bodies completed us, we were now mates and we would always be together.

My stomach started tightening and I could feel Edward hardening further inside of me. We were both panting and moaning up a storm as we moved as one to reach some higher plateau of oblivion we didn't know existed. Edward's hand moved up my body sensually and cupped my breasts, his cold thumbs rubbing over my nipples firmly. I came undone.

I screamed incoherent nothings loudly into the meadow. Edward continued to bounce me up and down on his shaft and my already powerful orgasm intensified. I arched backwards and bit my lip hard as Edward groaned loudly as the stiff rod that impaled me pulsed several times and he stilled.

He sat up slowly and folded me in his arms. Every movement he made moved the pole inside me, causing me to moan each time. With limp arms, I somehow managed to return the hug. His hands reached up and cradled my face, his eyes were slowly returning to gold again were brimming with all the love, emotions and hopes.

**o0o***o0o**

"That was incredible, we are so doing that again," I giggled softly as he wiggled his eyebrows up and down suggestively.

I shifted my hips ever so slightly, causing Edward to growl. "I told you so," I stretched my arms out to show off my body. "And look, no bruises," I then took my hands and tangled them into his messy just-had-sex hair. "You know what – I think I'll keep you."

He emitted a deep throaty laugh then slammed his lips to mine. _'Good, cause you're stuck with me for eternity now.'_

Promise?

'_Absolutely!'_

After cuddling for over an hour, enjoying the afterglow of our union, again, I slid away from Edward to investigate the contents of the basket.

"Hey Bella, can I ask you a personal question?" I turned to look at Edward, bowl of fruit in hand and nodded. "Um, why didn't I feel a barrier, didn't it hurt?"

I shrugged nonchalantly and popped a piece of cantaloupe in my mouth. "Oh that, at my last appointment I asked my doctor to break it. I didn't want to worry about the blood if we ever became intimate in the future."

He blinked repeatedly, obviously in shock. "That was really thoughtful. Now, was it hope, wishful thinking or Alice that convince you to do that?"

"A little bit of all of the above," I threw a grape in my mouth casually and winked at him. A quiet, drawn out growl echoed from the other end of the blanket and Edward positioned himself so he was stalking slowly toward me like a lion. In a matter of seconds, I jumped to my feet to run and Edward lunged for me, stopping me by latching on to my left wrist. All motion had ceased and I turned to look at him to see what was going on.

Edward was kneeling down on one knee, still naked to the world. He moved his hand from my wrist to my hand and held it tenderly. "Bella, you know everything about me and my kind, I've laid bare everything about what I am, literally," he smirked then glanced down at his gloriously naked body then smiled crookedly at me. "You are my best friend, my twin soul, my singer, my mate, my love…" he pulled a ring from under a nearby pillow and held it up to me. I gasped at what I saw before me, an oval ring with too many diamonds to count, set in both the face and the band*. I looked at the ring then back to Edward, his expression now hopeful and I knew what was coming.

"Will you also become my wife?"

**To Be Continued…**


End file.
